Want, need, choice

[Rachael Leigh]

I was reading on another thread where someone said that while they want to dress they don't need to.
It got me to thinking, what about you and how you answer what does that say about yourself.

I had to really think about this question and now being in counseling I do wonder what is my answer.
I think for me is yes I want to dress and at times I do feel I need to dress. Which for me brings in a whole other set of questions.
Where am I on the gender spectrum and well for me that is a work in progress.

So how do you answer this question or has it ever really crossed your mind

Leigh

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Leigh,

As of more recent times I certainly want to dress and at times the compulsion to do so is so strong that it would be hard not to classify it as a need. On the other hand I have gone through long periods (years) where I have not even wanted to dress. So I'm all over the map.

Elizabeth

[Allison2006]

I would say for me, most of the time I dress because I want to, which might explain why I go for longer periods of time without it now. But I would say too that every once in a while I do feel the need to dress up. Like today, when I got a new pair of heels... :o

[Jenniferathome]

I wouldn't want to if I didn't have a need to do so.

[Keely]

It is an almost everyday thing for me so I guess I need it.

[DIANEF]

Yep, I would say it was a need for me. I now have one day a week (actually about 7 to 8 hours) after starting a new job and the lack of time is leaving me irittable and stressed. If it was just a want I doubt I'd feel so bad about it. The longest gap I ever had was six months, it was really hard going.

[Kate Simmons]

I dress because I want to not because I need to. It's all totally a choice for myself. It wasn't always that way but when I finally accepted all of my feelings and embraced them, I was free of any compulsion. Now I mostly enjoy it as an artistic form of expression. :)

[Kandi Robbins]

I have honestly stopped trying to analyze my need to dress. I have simply accepted that this is who I am. I know I am not transgendered, I have no real desire to be a woman. I am a crossdresser and I cannot deny the true joyful feeling I have when I am out dressed and the way it has opened me up to the world. I certainly would stop if that magic pill existed, but it doesn't so I revel in my opportunities to be out in the world, comfortable with who I am. I've struggled with it long enough and finally realize life is short, we only get one shot at it and that I need to make the best of it.

[Dana44]

For me its not a want. When I am feminine, I have to, so its is a need and sometimes I don't get a chance, the need grows.

[VivienneH]

For me it's definitely a 'need'. It's something I've always needed but for many years tried to push away and try to reject and ignore.

[Kiersten]

It's definitely a need for me. It's always been that way.

[Tracii G]

I guess I need to wear clothing of the opposite gender to feel connected to my female side.
I do not feel right in all male clothing like I'm doing something wrong or out of balance.

[Karen RHT]

What I want, is the choice to dress as I please. What I need is for circumstances in my life to change for the better so I can choose responsibly.


Karen

[KimberlyJean]

I second Jennifer, life would be a lot easier without this and I wouldn't dress if I didn't need to.

[franlee]

Yes I have thought of this question. I have no problem admitting I from time to time "need" to dress. For all the standard reasons we have kicked around so much. But honestly it's more often because I want to, and can and do. The reason or need is always there even when I do it for Fun.

[LydiaL]

Do not mind admitting that years of wanting to dress has morphed into a more compelling need.
to dress.

Just now, as a guest visiting family, dressing en femme is just not possible, yet I am right now comforted by the familiar feel of my micro-fiber panties!

[docrobbysherry]

Bingo what Jenn said!:thumbsup:

Words want and need r pretty interchangeable.

[Alice Torn]

Want, always. Need? It seems like it sometimes. Part of it is never having had a SO or wife,in my life, at 62. A few women friends, but no intimacy. I seem to escape from my male grief , and Alice becomes my lady. Enjoy it while it is possible.. After spending much time in nursing homes for several years visiting my mom before she died, i see that everything in this vain life is temporary. I was six feet from being slaughtered by a speeding car, on my bicycle a month ago. My dressing would have ended that moment. Enjoy everything while you can. One moment at a time. Day?

[Dee-anna]

I want to dress to fulfill that need to in me 🤷

[Jacqueline1965]

Boy this is sure thought provoking. I underdress in lingerie every day and have been for almost 30 years now! When I feel like I have to wear men's underwear it makes me very uncomfortable and irritated. Since I have started wearing more women's clothes I have also noticed these feelings creeping in. So the answer for me is that it feels right to dress and annoying to have to wear men's things. It's both a need that has to be fulfilled and a want.:battingeyelashes:

[lynnstar]

For me its both. At times lynn star needs to come out at other times, not. I find however that when when i dress it feels relaxing and natural to be wearing a dress or skirt. So bottom line for me is i want to but seems to becoming more of a need as time progresses.

[Glendy]

I guess for me it's both I want to dress every day and most days I dress until around noon most of the time and I enjoy it very much. Now the need to part comes when I can't dress for what ever reason, then I think about wanting to put on my female clothing. It just feel so natural being my feminine self, I believe I enjoy it more than when I am in male clothing.

[Barbara Black]

For most of my life I considered dressing a distortion of normal, something I couldn't stop doing any more than masturbation, which of course, males get married to end the need of. But now that I've corrected my own perceptions I realize that I need it and certainly want it. The want is enough to continue, and the need makes it a sure thing that it will continue on it's own. But as stated above, life is short and just wanting something is more than enough anyway.

[Lana Mae]

Generally a want with times of need. Hugs Lana Mae

[Tina Davis]

This is my original post on the subject that I incorrectly posted elsewhere. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?244039-Want-vs-Need

[Jillian Faith]

I wouldn't want to if I didn't have a need to do so.

I agree with Jen

[Krisi]

I don't "need" to dress. I will not have a breakdown if I don't dress. I like to dress and I want to dress but if I have something else to occupy my time, not dressing does not seriously bother me.

My wife and I sometimes go on extended trips away from home. I don't take my female things (except for panties) and I do just fine.

[Periwinkle]

It's just a want for me. A very strong want, but a want nonetheless. CDing is one of my three main forms of self expression. So I have two other creative outlets, but I really love to be all dressed up.

[Rachael Leigh]

So far a lot of great answers and it does seem it's a question we do ask ourselves. As I said in the beginning with me feeling
a need at times that can bring in new questions and I hope to find those answers in time. I may not and that's ok too, I mean I am comfortable being out and about as Leigh and that is a part of my need so time will tell

[Lily Catherine]

I would always frame it as a choice to avoid it rolling downhill and becoming an indulgence I could treat as beyond my control. I wouldn't want that.

On the other hand, per what Jennifer has said, I wouldn't want to present as a woman if I didn't have any underlying compulsion or motivation to. I'm still figuring it out.

[Stephanie47]

My personal take on the gender spectrum for ME, and, I say my belief in what makes me tick is facts and circumstances. I believe there is a small segment of me because of my DNA that has the need to express oneself. It seems expression usually arises with stress. There are many times I have had plenty of time to express myself, but, I have had no desire. When I was in the army I had zero interest in wearing women's clothing. My male hormonal side or inner self was in an environment that was centered on actual physical survival and well being. The feminine dna side just was not needed.

Now, I am in a situation where I am a care giver to an ill wife for a year. The need to wear women's clothing seems to have dissipated, although I still seem to want to be on this forum and also check out women's clothing on eBay and emails from Macy's or JCPenny. I think the male characteristic of protecting a loved one or the "tribe" for the time being has overridden any feminine side in me.

[Cheryl James]

I want to because I need to. If it were always my choice, there would be no limit on my time spent wearing women's clothing. It completes me as nothing else does.

[josie_S]

I wouldn't want to if I didn't have a need to do so.

This. I love this answer.

[GBJoker]

I have thought about this question before. I've never been convinced any of this is a "need." Thus it's a "want" to me.

[CourtneyJamieson]

When does a want become a need? I last dressed at the end of June. I spent a wonderful weekend in full Courtney mode. Then summer got really busy. I didn't even really think about dressing thru July, Aug, Sept. Now things have calmed down. My desire to dress has now increased. Do I "need" to dress......Probably No. Do I "want" to dress.......Absolutely. But again, I ask, when does want become need??