In the news

[Samm]

So I caught the tail end of a news story tonight which mentioned a LGBT friendly bar in Maine closing its doors at the end of the year. This, due to lower patronage since many feel safer and more accepted now, at 'regular' bars and clubs. They also mentioned several establishments in New York that have closed for the same reason.
I found this interesting for 2 reasons... It struck me as somewhat of a victory. But at the same time, a loss for those of us here who dream of venturing out one day. I've never been outside of my house while dressed, and may never go out. But if I did, I think I would feel more comfortable at one of these bars/clubs, than at 'a local watering hole' or a mall.
I wonder, Is it acceptance, or do most people just don't care who's dating who. Or who's wearing what anymore.

[Periwinkle]

I'm decently comfortable in regular places, but I'm super comfortable in LGBT specific places. I usually just hang out wherever my friends go, but if I had to choose, I'd definitely pick the LGBT specific place.

[reb.femme]

Whilst this kind of place closing doesn't affect me anymore, as I go out to regular places, some people do need stepping stones for their first outs. Therefore, it is a lose, but as you point out, it also shows an advancement in matters T.

I got a couple of looks from two middle aged guys last night in a pub, but to hell with them. I'm going out and they aren't stopping me.

What really broke it for me, was going to a regular club in my local town with a girl who was already an out and about type. It eases your worries when you've got a wing girl. T places have their place, but can reinforce that lack of wellbeing when out amongst the muggles.

Becky

[Krisi]

I no longer go to bars but I used to work in them. It's very difficult for a bar or a restaurant to be successful and profitable over the long term and especially so when it limits its clientele to a certain segment of the population. I remember many, many years ago, a bar owner telling me how he was afraid if gay people came to his bar it would scare away the straight people.

My point is, bars come and bars go. It's rare to find a bar that's been in business under the same name with the same owner for more than a few years.

[trishacd]

I saw a crossdresser being harassed at a local mall by some teens. She looked scared so I told the guys to hit the road. I walked her to her car. I told her that I am a cd and wish I had her guts to go out. I said I hope the incident doesn't discourage her from future outings. She looked passable to me, Her voice may have given her away.I will alaways stick up for gurls in trouble.

[sabrinaedwards]

I think for me, these types of bars and/or clubs are open to crossdressers as well as the gay community. I have been to 6 or so in various cities and have felt very comfortable while dressed. One thing that I always do however is to telephone and ask if crossdressers are welcome. The odd thing is in only one of these places has there been another crossdresser. I am typically the only crossdresser and I do get a lot of positive attention.
Love, Sabrina

[DeeArel]

The internet has had a considerable impact on LBGT bars in the past 20 years. Many of the patrons were just there for cruising which is now done primarily on the net.

[Nikki A.]

In my area there is a LGBT resort that has CD weekends 2-3 times a year. I've noticed that there is a distinct drop in patronage than there used to be.

[grace7777]

If you want to go out somewhere dressed I would suggest going to a movie theater.

[sometimes_miss]

First shows on weekdays especially; the theaters are usually barren. I'm often the only person in the theater.

[Ressie]

This sounds more like a club than a bar because it has a capacity of 300 people with multiple dancefloors. The place had 30 good years of business which is very good for a club this size. Other factors the owner pointed out: People stay home more, "and when they do go out they expect big events and a lot of excitement". The article doesn't mention crossdressers at all.

http://www.pressherald.com/2016/10/21/styxx-nightclub-to-close-after-30-years-as-haven-for-portlands-gay-community/

[Samm]

Ressie, I never said it did mention cd'ers. It's just what used to be considered a "safe" place to go, for any kind of alternative life style, is closing. As well as many others. It seems it doesn't matter as much anymore as it may have in the past.

[Adriana Moretti]

hey Samm your absolutely right....nobody cares ( well...at least in my section of the world) ....but if you go out, look presentable, respectable, and carry yourself correctly ( oh and not wear a cheap costume wig) most people dont care anymore, they have seen it already, yes, the gay bars are closing for that reason, people can go anywhere now, that same rule can be applied to us too. I would recommend if you are looking for a first outting to try some of the Trans and CD events they have up your way the North East has alot..Mass is loaded, in fact a GREAT one for you to try is First Event which is a 3 day Conference which takes place in late January all in one hotel. Here you dont even have to leave the saftey of the hotel and you will be in the company of like 200 other gals. Take a road trip to either New Haven CT, Or Fairfield CT..they have monthly events there too and you are far enough away to feel safe about being outed and can really get a chance to express yourself ...start somewhere there. I know thats where i started too, and eventually I was dragged out to dinner before these events, or to the mall, or to a sports bar for a drink in the vanilla world, and you know what? I learned nobody cared, and people just went on with their lives..the more I went out in vanilla world, the easier it became, now its an everyday thing, but it started with baby steps at some of those TG/CD events and grew from there. Oh P-Town in Rhode Island too..thats a great spot to try out too. Good Luck girl xoxo

[Samm]

That's exactly what I would do if I ever decided to venture out. I think it's more curiosity than a need right now. But we'll see what happens in the new year. I have a long way to go