MysteryWoman
10-27-2016, 11:32 AM
A few weeks ago I posted that I had experienced what I characterized as a minor breakthrough---namely, that after my DADT spouse found my current stash, she said she would rather I mix my clothes in with hers than continue to hide them, which I did.
Several here responded that this wasn't as small a breakthrough as I made it out to be. That turns out to be excellent advice. Others said that I needed to go slowly, and not try to make too much happen too quickly. That also proves to be very insightful.
After about two weeks I decided to try to open further dialog by giving my wife several articles I found on the website, A Crossdresser's Secret Garden. These did an excellent job of describing the dilemma many of us face in having to keep secrets from someone we love.
After reading them she came to me and said that she now understood for the first time the stress my "secret" was causing both of us. But she also said that she still couldn't bring herself to participate in any way.
I reminded her that she has already gone so far as to allow me to wear a limited number of feminine items during lovemaking (panties usually and stockings occasionally). She said she had over the years come to accept that and was willing to give me that much leeway. I pushed (very gently) on the question of whether she allow me dress a little more completely, such as adding a nightgown. Her response was that she still couldn't get past the idea of me dressing that much as a woman---it might her feel like she was in a lesbian relationship. I said I understood and would honor her wish.
Two days went by with no further discussion. Then today out of the blue she came to me and said, "OK, here's the deal. You've lived with this for so many years that I don't want you to have to continue to suppress your desires. You have my full permission to do what you need to do. Let's start tonight."
I have to say that this is a day I thought would never come. And I doubt it would have happened without the help of this forum. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Several here responded that this wasn't as small a breakthrough as I made it out to be. That turns out to be excellent advice. Others said that I needed to go slowly, and not try to make too much happen too quickly. That also proves to be very insightful.
After about two weeks I decided to try to open further dialog by giving my wife several articles I found on the website, A Crossdresser's Secret Garden. These did an excellent job of describing the dilemma many of us face in having to keep secrets from someone we love.
After reading them she came to me and said that she now understood for the first time the stress my "secret" was causing both of us. But she also said that she still couldn't bring herself to participate in any way.
I reminded her that she has already gone so far as to allow me to wear a limited number of feminine items during lovemaking (panties usually and stockings occasionally). She said she had over the years come to accept that and was willing to give me that much leeway. I pushed (very gently) on the question of whether she allow me dress a little more completely, such as adding a nightgown. Her response was that she still couldn't get past the idea of me dressing that much as a woman---it might her feel like she was in a lesbian relationship. I said I understood and would honor her wish.
Two days went by with no further discussion. Then today out of the blue she came to me and said, "OK, here's the deal. You've lived with this for so many years that I don't want you to have to continue to suppress your desires. You have my full permission to do what you need to do. Let's start tonight."
I have to say that this is a day I thought would never come. And I doubt it would have happened without the help of this forum. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.