Ever feel guilty?

[Alexandria]

Well, a few months after my first purge (and hopefully last), I decided not to blame the clothes and give crossdressing another shot. When I dress up I feel alive inside, in fact it's actually improved other areas of my life.

Well when I started rebuilding my wardrobe, I couldn't get JUST a blouse or JUST a pair of heels, but instead I felt that I had to go all the way: Wig, bra, panties, accessories, blouses, everything. While I certainly can afford it, I'm feeling I may have gone a little "Too far". Yet unfortunatly, womens clothing doesn't come cheap. In fact, I've spent more on women's clothing in the past month than I have for men's clothing in the past year.

So as I wait for my wardrobe to arrive, courtesy of the US Postal Service. I want to ask: Any of you gals ever get a "Guilt trip" feeling after spending a lot of money on your wardrobe? How did you all start out when you were just at the first stages of crossdressing?

[Jasmine Ellis]

Hi Ajax.
Certainly, I have no guilt of buying clothes. If there is a skirt or top, or even any underwear that meets my eye then I go in and buy it.
If I'm not buying clothes, then it's make up. I'm buying something each week, Jasmine loves nice things and it's hard to find differant clothes to buy but she has too have something new each week. Just to say she's has got somethink for herself.
I have never baged my clothes and put them in the bin, or took them to a charity shop.
I started at the age of 14 years old, wearing my sisters clothes, time to time when I was at home on my own, which was every saturday.
It, wasn't not untill my 30s that I started to buy my own clothes, seeing I went from my sister to my wife's clothes.
Then one day I just told my wife, about me wearing skirts, heels, ect, ect,
which didn't go to plan. That was the only time I nearly did it, But she's my ex, and I'm happy not doing it.

[Tia]

I must admit that I usually have some guilt after I've bought something "expensive". Mostly because after I've bought something to myself, I start to think how I could have used that money to improve my and my SO's life.

Then I realize, that those 50$ I used, wouldn't have made a big deal... :D

Atleast I think that spending a bit is better option than "borrowing" them.

[wendy]

yeah, I used to go on shopping binges, buying over quite a few items of lingerie at one time. Before my first purge, I estimate I must've spent easily over $600 on clothing, mostly lingerie.

I did feel guilty, but it was shortlived as I didn't have a g/f at that time. But now, when I do buy clothing, I am very conservative, only limiting myself to one or 2 pieces of clothings once in a blue moon.

My first ever shopping binge was at kmart, I bought a swimsuit and aerobics wear. I quickly advanced to lingerie after that.:D

[Aileen]

I don't feel guilty now, but I feel guilty because I used to steal dresses when I was a kid.

[Michelle8]

I feel guilty but mostly because I can't wear
it out in public all the time like I want to.
You wonder if you wasted the money.

[Bev06 GG]

Well girls, now you know how we feel when we go and blow alot of money on outfits. The Guilt feeling does disipate with time. But we RGs are used to spending spare cash on the kids. Its only as we get older that we get abit more selfish on that.
BEVxxxx

[julieinsilk]

Dont really feel guilty but it is difficult a lot of the time having to splash out financially on both male and female clothes when all I would rather do is devote all my energy and money to buying gorgeous feminine attire. Maybe one day. A girl can only dream!

[Cathy Anderson]

When I dress up I feel alive inside
Anima :)


So as I wait for my wardrobe to arrive, courtesy of the US Postal Service. I want to ask: Any of you gals ever get a "Guilt trip" feeling after spending a lot of money on your wardrobe?
The problem is that for the CD, the inner female has been dissociated from consciousness for a long time. It therefore lacks the ethical and social safeguards that the male ego takes for granted. The new female is like a child, prone to all kinds of errors and excesses.

Impulse buying might be an example of this.

Maturation, discernment and refinement of the inner female might address this.

There are things the male can teach the female (one of these things might be temperance), just as the female can teach the male.

In any case, it seems natural for the female, when she first gains a degree of freedom, to become somewhat carried away.

Instead of feeling guilt, perhaps you can acknowledge the possibility of error and deal with that in a constructive way. Excessive guilt is not constructive. There's a difference between conscious ethical evaluation and a feeling of guilt--the latter often having an irrational basis.


How did you all start out when you were just at the first stages of crossdressing?
I've had a couple of "starts." The first time it seemed especially important to have a *complete* outfit, including wig. The style, the quality, and the expense were not so important as this sense of being dressed completely female.

The second time, I started getting more interested in makeup. I had a couple of transformations done at local TG stores.

Each time, it seemed like I found that "more is NOT necessarily better." That is, each time I enjoyed the experience, and then tried to repeat it by buying more outfits, etc. Yet often subsequent purchases, activities, etc. did not exceed the original fun. In other words, the original dress was just as much fun as any new dresses.

This would make sense if you see CDing as partly an attempt of the "female side" to teach the male side. You have an experience, and that's a breakthrough--new feelings are brought into awareness. Then the logical mind thinks, "well, if it works this well, let's try doing it more!" But it doesn't work that way.

Cathy

[Lilith Moon]

Anima :)
There are things the male can teach the female (one of these things might be temperance), just as the female can teach the male.
Cathy

I enjoyed reading your post. It has a touch of Zen, or the The Tao, to it.

[Tiffy]

I can not help but feel gulity. But then I feel guilty for everything. Or every time a person is unhappy I feel guilty. I hate it but it is the way I am. So, guilt? YUP, all the damn time.


Kisses, April Marie

[Paula T]

money period. My wife says I'm a cheap ass sometimes.

[SexxxyBrianna]

I have felt guilty about spending money on womans clothes & accessories before. It just doesn't feel right to spend it on something mainly for me, and I don't even venture away from the house while dressed. I find myself buying extra things for my wife when I shop for myself,so thats a good thing.:) I do like it when I get home though, when we get to try things on together :)

Brianna

[Kimberley]

I set aside fun money so as to not impact the finances in any great manner. I am on a very limited budget so "found money" is ALL MINE!

The guilt I feel is for being selfish. How female is that?

Kimberley.

[Bonnie D]

I first start crossdressing by wearing my mother's clothes. When I moved out in my early twenties I began buying a few lingerie items and then baby dolls. I lived with another guy who was straight and so I remained closeted. Also for financial reasons I couldn't buy much. Later when my friend had to move out of town I moved in with two other straight guys, so again I remained closeted.

I met a gay man who didn't mind me wearing lingerie so I bought a few more sets and more stockings.

Eventually I got married still remaining in the closet. I tried on some of my wife's clothes but didn't feel comfortable about it. I would go shopping with her and follow her around and she would ask for my opinion on things. I would see dresses that I liked but she didn't. Knowing her size and since I had tried on some of her dresses, I could guess my size. So I would go back to the store a few weeks later and buy a dress I had seen in my size. Well, dresses don't look as good without heels so around Halloween I went to a store that sold large sizes. Telling the clerk I was dressing as a woman for a party she measured my feet and let me try on several pairs. I slowly began building a small wardrobe. This was all before the internet came into the general public.

In the last year, since I've discovered these TG sites, I have bought lots of skirts, lingerie, heels, breast forms and padded panties on-line and make up at stores. It's just that I've found an easy way to buy clothes and it's difficult to stop. There are so many beautiful clothes that I would like to buy but I have to slow down, a lot. I only have so much room to store my clothes and it is becoming expensive. I can also understand how women can say that with a closet full of clothes "that they don't have a thing to wear!"

Anway, do I feel guilt about the amount of money I spend on women's clothes? Yes, but I understand why.

Bonnie

[Julia Cross]

I only feel guilty when I buy items that I likely will not wear much as they are too over-the-top, but as i dress most nights and weekends, I wear them the way others wear jeans or sweas.

Julia

[ReginaK]

Guilty? Never. I work hard for my money and as long as i'm using it on something I want, I have no reason to feel guilty.

[JeanneF]

Since I started going out dressed, I feel a lot less guilty than I did buying stuff that was just going to be worn around the house. I think that as long as I'm buying something that I'm going to use, it's not an issue. My focus when it comes to shopping anymore is pretty much exclusively on something that I can wear in public. My issue is more that I'm a shopaholic for both boy and girl clothes.

Although, I did feel a little bad about the $300 I spent at MAC and Sephora Monday afternoon. :)