Saw my ex the other day

[somestimeskaren]

My ex was living a 2 or 3 hour drive from where I live so there was no chance of bumping into her until a couple of months ago when she moved a 20 minute drive from where I live.I hadn't seen her in a couple of years until I ran into her at my Grandsons' hockey game.When we were married she was accepting of my dressing although it was limited to the bedroom and only involved a bra, panties, stockings and heels.For quite a while it was enough for me but eventually I wanted more,I wanted to take it out of the bedroom to let Karen be all that she could be.She was not in favor of that happening.Our split had nothing to do with my crossdressing however and after she left I could go as far as I wanted to enjoy this side of my personality.When all dolled up I think I make a better looking woman than she does.She'd be shocked and surprised at how far I've come.Maybe in the future if we can become closer as friends (you can be friends with an ex spouse right?)I'll introduce her to Karen.I think I could do that,she has already kind of seen that side of my personality. We'll see.

[Tracii G]

Pretty vain and rude of you to say you make a better looking woman than she does and you aren't a woman to start with.
Sorry to call you out on that comment but man that is so wrong.

[DIANEF]

Agree with Tracii, she might be 'shocked and suprised' but probably not in a good way. Stick to drab mode if you want to meet her again.

[Tracii G]

There is always a reason they are your ex just keep that in mind.
You were together once then split for some reason so there still may be some bad blood on her side you never know.
I wouldn't trust my ex as far as I could throw her but I don't hate her.

[suzanne]

Every CD needs to make sure that comment never, ever finds its way into her head. It's nothing but a bucket of spiders.

[TrishaTX]

I would say if thoughts like you look better are in your head, you will probably not get closer. I would slow down enjoy your dressing and work on having a decent relationship with her. They should be exclusive and not connected.

[Mollyanne]

In answer to your question about an ex becoming friends, YOU GOTTA' BE KIDDING!!!!! If you are thinking this way you are gonna' be in for a big unpleasant surprise. My advice------DON'T PUSH THE ENVELOPE!!!!!!!!

Mollyanne

[Connie D50]

Tracii i understand why you said that. What I'm not sure is did Karen mean his ex thought she (Karen) didn't look good as a women. And that Karen thought she looked better then her ex wife thought. That is how I read it at first when I went back I did see the two ways to read it. I hope Karen clears it up.

[Tracii G]

Connie its pretty frequent someone here will post that they look better than their SO or better than most women.
One thats a pretty big ego they have,very disrespectful to their SO that is actually a woman.
It like saying their SO is not attractive or she dresses poorly.
In my book thats rude and insensitive.

[Georgina]

It may be rude and insensitive but it can be true. It is possible for a crossdresser to look better than a woman, but not to be a better looking woman.

[Krisi]

1) It's highly unlikely that you can be friends with an ex wife. You might be able to get along with her enough to go to your children's or grandchildren's events, but that's about it. There's a reason (or reasons) you split up and eventually these feelings will come out again.

2) It's highly unlikely that you (dressed as a woman) look better than your ex wife. You might wear nicer clothes and jewelry, you might put more time into your presentation, but you're still a man. Your ex wife would have to be butt-ugly and 300 pounds for you to even come close.

[NicoleScott]

.....(you can be friends with an ex spouse right?)....

Some can't, but some can. My brother and his ex are on very good terms.
My ex and I weren't a good married couple, but we were good roommates. As our divorce approached the final days, she proposed remaining housemates after the divorce. And I seriously considered it. In the end, we didn't. It seems strange that we both did not want to live together married but we felt we could live together as singles.

[Krisi]

" It seems strange that we both did not want to live together married but we felt we could live together as singles. "

I'll bet that would change as soon as one of you brought a date over to spend the night.

[NicoleScott]

Krisi, you're right aboutvthst. I would have no problem knowing she saw other men (she did indeed have a special friend) but seeing them together in my home is what gave me apprehension about the living arrangement. Hmmmm - OK with knowing but not wanting to see - that's DADT, right?
Also, I didn't want my CDing activities affected by her guests showing up who knows when.
It was for both of those reasons I declined.

[Stephanie47]

1)

2) It's highly unlikely that you (dressed as a woman) look better than your ex wife. You might wear nicer clothes and jewelry, you might put more time into your presentation, but you're still a man. Your ex wife would have to be butt-ugly and 300 pounds for you to even come close.

Oh, Krisi! Krisi! Krisi! There are some ladies on this site who, if I am a judge of height and weight, are obese. Maybe over 300 pounds. I know some very fine and feminine and attractive women who are obese, even morbidly obese. They were all married to men who saw their fine qualities. I would not define any of them were "butt ugly." I don't even know what that means.

I think I know what you were trying to express in the same manner I suspect Karen was trying to express herself. Perhaps, as I have seen in society it has become so persuasive to "jump" on someone's words without asking for a clarification.

[Joni T]

I have 2 ex wives. They're ex's for a reason. Do I want to be friends with either one of them??!!?? No way, Jose!
Jon

[Dana44]

I have two ex wives also, One I would never see again and my first wife I see at Christmas and other family events. She has remarried and I talk to both of them. He is pretty nice and she seems happy. I have been to their house and she still talks to me. But the second wife, never should have married her. Oh well we make mistakes. But i would never be close friends with either of them.

[Tracii G]

I have two ex wives to and would I ever get back in a relationship with them?............. ummm no way.
I will speak to them but thats it.
Some people do split up then get back together later on and that is something I never understood or have done.
Its like asking for problems.

[Barbara Black]

Awfully judgmental of us to suppose she is better looking than he is while dressed. It is possible after all, I've seen some nice looking women on this site, and certainly have seen some discouraging-looking woman in real life. Perhaps we should give him the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Pretty vain and rude of you to say you make a better looking woman than she does and you aren't a woman to start with.
Sorry to call you out on that comment but man that is so wrong.




It may be rude and insensitive but it can be true. It is possible for a crossdresser to look better than a woman, but not to be a better looking woman.




It's highly unlikely that you (dressed as a woman) look better than your ex wife. You might wear nicer clothes and jewelry, you might put more time into your presentation, but you're still a man. Your ex wife would have to be butt-ugly and 300 pounds for you to even come close.


I guess that we can all agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As one "beholder", I know several couples where the natural male makes a much better looks girl than the natural female does. You're just going to have to trust me on that, because I would never reveal this to any of them and I won't provide specifics here.

[ReineD]

When all dolled up I think I make a better looking woman than she does.

I think you should compare apples with apples, and compare yourself while all dolled up when SHE is also all dolled up. Or, if there is a substantial weight to height ratio difference between you (if she is overweight and you are not), then you can't compare yourself to her. You should instead compare yourself to a woman who also does not have a weight issue.

As to "better looking", if you are talking about clothing styles, you may not like the clothes she wears but on the other hand, your wife might think that the clothes you wear are silly. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If you are saying that your facial features are more attractive than hers, then I need to again remind you that beauty is subjective. Also, saying something like this is narcissistic. I cannot imagine any woman worth her salt thinking that she is more attractive than her female friends. If she did, this woman would have no friends.

[Krisi]

.............. I've seen some nice looking women on this site, ..............

You have seen still photos that may or may not have been of a man dressed as a woman. And even if the photos are actual photos of the poster, they have been selected out of dozens, perhaps hundreds. Looking good in a single photo and looking good "live" are two entirely different things.

[CarlaWestin]

When my ex and I were together, people commented that she looked like Cher and I was real lucky to have her. Seriously? Now she's an overweight smoker that wallows in her sad existence.
And, because of healthy living, I can look like this at 61 years old. So, what's wrong with making comparisons?

268108

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I think I make a better looking woman than she does. She'd be shocked and surprised at how far I've come. Maybe in the future we can become closer as friends.

I'd say sometimeskaren is a little bit shellshocked from the 16 tonnes of disapproval that just landed on her head.

This is supposed to be a support group, not a courtroom where you come to get your ass kicked.

Look at her words- she says 'I think I make a better looking woman' not 'I am a better looking woman'.

Then she says her ex would be shocked and surprised at how far her dressing has come- well who knows her ex better, karen or us?

Then she says 'Maybe in the future if we can become closer as friends...', that's maybe and if, so she's not taking her ex's acceptance for granted.

Jeez people, lighten up- this is a relatively new member- I hope we haven't frightened her away.

[Ally 2112]

I am somewhat friends with my x who i told way before we got married in the end she did not accept it .On the rare occasions that i do talk to her she wants to hear nothing about it . My reply is not to be mean im just saying she might not be open to you showing Karen so be careful :)

[MissVirginia-Mae]

If Karen thinks she looks better than her ex, thats her opinion....
She might or might not, but its not really our area to judge.
I have thought a lot of CD's were more attractive than GG's, but its my opinion....
So, lets not hammer away at someone who is just expressing an opinion

- - - Updated - - -

Carla,
you look beautiful! :hugs:

[~Joanne~]

I never understood how ANYONE could ever be friends with someone that you divorced (or whatever). It never made sense. there is a reason why you and that person are not together, why would you want anything to do with that person ever again? Especially marry them again? they left you to go around with all kinds of other people but decided you were the best so they want back in? do you know how INSANE that sounds?

and sorry, I have to disagree with the "you can never LOOK better than a real woman" comment because a lot of CD's / TG's DO look better. There are a lot of pictures here that prove that whether you agree with it or not. I agree with the "eye of the beholder" comment though but pictures don't lie.

[Tonya Rose]

Thank you Nikkilovesdresses Very well said!!! I totally agree...

[Krisi]

I'd say sometimeskaren is a little bit shellshocked from the 16 tonnes of disapproval that just landed on her head.

This is supposed to be a support group, not a courtroom where you come to get your ass kicked.

Look at her words- she says 'I think I make a better looking woman' not 'I am a better looking woman'.

Then she says her ex would be shocked and surprised at how far her dressing has come- well who knows her ex better, karen or us?

Then she says 'Maybe in the future if we can become closer as friends...', that's maybe and if, so she's not taking her ex's acceptance for granted.

Jeez people, lighten up- this is a relatively new member- I hope we haven't frightened her away.

You are saying that people shouldn't tell the truth? That we should "support" each other by lying? Only respond with "You poor baby." or "You look hot in that dress."

If she didn't want honest responses, she should have made this clear in the original post or better yet, not have brought it up at all.

- - - Updated - - -


.............. and sorry, I have to disagree with the "you can never LOOK better than a real woman" comment because a lot of CD's / TG's DO look better. There are a lot of pictures here that prove that whether you agree with it or not. I agree with the "eye of the beholder" comment though but pictures don't lie.

You didn't read my other post, did you?

As I tried to point out, this is the Internet and there's no guarantee that the pictures you see posted are of the actual poster. We can post pictures of GGs or whoever and there's no way to check if they are actually us or not.

Even if the photo is of the crossdresser, that's just one good moment in time and one photo of many that the poster selected.

[ellbee]

and sorry, I have to disagree with the "you can never LOOK better than a real woman" comment because a lot of CD's / TG's DO look better.

All you have to do is read the comments of a YouTube video of any number of young, somewhat-popular, and, quite frankly, pretty hot & legit-looking, CD/trans.


Some GG's, themselves, will openly admit that they don't look anywhere near as good.
But yeah, let's just totally disregard those. :brolleyes:

[Majella St Gerard]

I am friendly with my ex wife and even friendlier with an ex girlfriend, I do not speak to my estranged wife and don't think I ever will be friends with her, she hurt me too bad. Now my wife is pretty and sexy but her style is not very feminine and I also believe I make a much nicer looking woman than her, I have been told this by people. It is not rude or insensitive to say you look better than a GG. A lot of women do not dress very well and walk around in public like slobs, so just because you are a "real" woman does not mean you automatically look better than a CD that takes the time to look presentable. Sometimes I wonder if some people own a mirror. I may not "pass" but I dress nice and present well. Just my 2 cents.

[dolovewell]

This is supposed to be a support group, not a courtroom where you come to get your ass kicked.

I think you are confusing being supportive with being positive in all circumstances. Sometimes being supportive means being upfront and honest, even if its something that will be construed as criticism or negative. There is another community where a user posted a pic asking if she passed, and I said no, and got attacked by so many other users saying I need to be supportive. Sorry but telling someone they pass when they actually don't is not being supportive and not being helpful in any way. By saying they don't pass, you can say why and they will be more likely to improve.



and sorry, I have to disagree with the "you can never LOOK better than a real woman" comment because a lot of CD's / TG's DO look better. There are a lot of pictures here that prove that whether you agree with it or not. I agree with the "eye of the beholder" comment though but pictures don't lie.


All you have to do is read the comments of a YouTube video of any number of young, somewhat-popular, and, quite frankly, pretty hot & legit-looking, CD/trans.


Some GG's, themselves, will openly admit that they don't look anywhere near as good.
But yeah, let's just totally disregard those. :brolleyes:

Yes there are MTF transwomen who look good, but they have been on horomones and gotten surgeries like facial feminization to get to that point. As crossdressers who are not on horomones and have had no surgery, we have a much steeper hill to climb, so I will be more skeptical of someone claiming they look better than a GG.

[Valery L]

Yes, some crossdressers and transsexuals can be better looking than many genetic girls, there is nothing extraordinary in that. Being born female does not imply that you will be automatically a better looking female. Obviously for us it is more difficult since we need to hide more male features but it is not impossible, there are men with natural soft features and women that are terribly ugly, due to weight issues, an over production of testosterone, masculine facial features, or simply bad genes according to the current beauty standards... So yeah, it is perfectly possible that you are a better looking "female" than your ex, I do not know you or her to judge but, of course that can happen. Many people thought (including myself, and even my ex) that I made a better looking female than one of my exgirlfriends, I would hate to sound egocentric but it is a personal example in which at least some people agreed about this, I did not look extremely pretty (not even now), but she really was ugly (I loved her for many other wonderful things, I am not so superficial), but due to my body shape, height, legs, and even facial features in comparison with her, many clothes looked better on me than on her. Obviously, she looked more "passable", but you do not need to be 100% passable to look attractive, they are related but they are different things, femininity is not equal to better looking. So well, the point is, while your birth sex can give women a huge advantage in this respect for obvious reasons, sometimes it is not enough.

[ellbee]

Yes there are MTF transwomen who look good, but they have been on horomones and gotten surgeries like facial feminization to get to that point. As crossdressers who are not on horomones and have had no surgery, we have a much steeper hill to climb, so I will be more skeptical of someone claiming they look better than a GG.

Years ago, my GF at the time & I were talking about some guy we knew.

She admitted that at one point prior to us hooking up, she was once attracted to him & wanted to date him.

I asked why she never tried to make that happen. Her honest & blunt answer: "Because I could never go out with a guy who was prettier than me."


Now, mind you, this GF was pretty damn good-looking, and I was the envy of quite a few guys, LOL. Yet at the same time, she had a point... This guy was *pretty* -- and this was his normal everyday MALE self. No make-up, no wig, no women's clothes, and certainly no hormones or surgery.

Not sure if he was privately into CD'ing, but I gotta admit, he'd make a pretty hot & quite-passable chick, ha!

[dolovewell]

Well, attractiveness is not gender related. Attractiveness is measured in the same way for guys and gals - face dimensions, symmetry, and so on. So obviously an attractive man will make an attractive MTF crossdresser/transwoman.

[biannne]

There are some of us that have separated of their wife for some reason or another but still have feeling for them. I know of a couple in OH that separated because she did not tolerate his crossdressing. But after years later they got back together. Now she not only tolerated his dressing. she insist that he dress up full time.
This is just rare case.
My marriage broke up bacsue she hated my crossdressing. Even though at that time it would confine to inside the bedroom when she in not there. She knew about even before we got married and she thought she can changed that after the marriage. If you want to stay with her as friends, talk to her about how she feels about you crossdressing before coming out.

[ellbee]

Oh, but it most certainly can be gender-related. :)


He was not what one would call a "handsome" guy (who may or may not make a decent-looking CD/TG) -- he was a *pretty* guy!

Like, he looked more like a chick than he did a guy. He made an attractive female. And again, this was his natural male state.


Yeah, he most certainly looked better than many GG's out there.


He'd be crazy if he didn't/doesn't CD! :battingeyelashes:

[Lorileah]

yeah, this thread isn't going anywhere good. Maybe you guys (yes I said guys) should grow up a little and quit throwing rocks