Frozen with fear

[ElleStreet]

I'm litterally at a party right now dressed as red riding hood everyone I've talked to has been nice and told me how good I look but I'm scared shitless (never been in public dressed before) so now instead of partying I'm sat in a xhair browsing this website trying to drink enough that I can enjoy myself properly. I'll post tommorow about how it ends up

[Traci H]

I can't wait for your story. Hope it all goes well for you.

[Lana Mae]

Hope it goes well! Stay safe and be careful!! Hugs Lana Mae

[ellbee]

Congrats on getting out there! I know it's not always easy sometimes.


Stop thinking about it so much.

Just be your normal self.

You'll be fine.

Enjoy! :)

[Fiona123]

Sounds like fun. I wish I was in your shoes. Go with it. Be safe. Don't drink too much.🌺

[Suzie Petersen]

Since you are already scared, I dont want to alarm you even more, but whatever happens tonight, stay away from Grandmothers bedroom!!!

Other than that ... loosen up and have some fun :)

[ElleStreet]

Sounds like fun. I wish I was in your shoes. Go with it. Be safe. Don't drink too much.🌺

Unfortunately right now it feels like having fun and not drinking too much are pretty much mutually exclusive

[Judy-Somthing]

I wish I could go to a party dressed.
About 15 years ago I went dressed as a woman and my wife did my makeup like a clown, I was so disappointed.
I tried to fix it but it made her mad, she said I could never look like a woman!

[ElleStreet]

laurababe

Honestly my normal self doesn't go to these sorts of parties at all honestly so being dressed makes it even less of a comfortable situation for me

[Pat]

Forget the clothes and be you. The same you that you'd be if you were in jeans and a t-shirt.

[sara.rafaela]

Keep your spirits up. Your feelings are normal. It gets better. Please don't give up. My first time was really nerve wracking.

[ElleStreet]

Honestly my normal self doesn't go to these sorts of parties at all honestly so being dressed makes it even less of a comfortable situation for me. Doing a little better now though at least

[ellbee]

Any other CD'ers there dress up tonight?

Any GG's dressed as guys?


And any other Red Riding Hoods? :D

[Ressie]

Forget the clothes and be you. The same you that you'd be if you were in jeans and a t-shirt.

Yes, once you become unaware of how you're dressed you'll feel much more relaxed.

[Teresa]

ElleStreet,
So what are you scared of ? You've made it to the party and talked to people , they all like your outfit, OK so you feel like a rabbit in the headlights , just try and keep talking to people if not just smile .

[Samm]

I'd be just as scared, but I would definitely have to have a wing girl or two with me.
What exactly is "that sort of party"?

[ElleStreet]

I'd be just as scared, but I would definitely have to have a wing girl or two with me.
What exactly is "that sort of party"?

Yeah, I could do with a wing girl, I don't know anyone here so tgats the worst/best part. And I meant at a club type of thing, most of the time when I've been out before it's been with quiet music and where I've been able to hear myself talk. They're normally more drug appropriate places too. I wish I had MDMA at uni, would loose me up so much right now :P

[Karen RHT]

I'd rather be dressed at a party and feeling a bit apprehensive, than sitting at home wanting to go out but can't. You took the time to get ready, and took the steps to get there. Now try to relax and enjoy the experience.

Easier said than done I know, but try. We're all pullin for ya.


Karen

[ElleStreet]

ElleStreet,
So what are you scared of ? You've made it to the party and talked to people , they all like your outfit, OK so you feel like a rabbit in the headlights , just try and keep talking to people if not just smile .

I don't know what I'm scared of, I've always had anxiety at these sorts of places it's never been a rational thing y'know?

[MzVanessa]

I can totally relate... I deal with a bit of social anxiety. Just enjoy the moment... focus on the joy of being dolled up as opposed to what everyone else may or may not think. In reality... the other people probably aren't paying any mind to what you're dressed as. Have fun girl!!!

[Lana Mae]

Sounds like social anxiety! You need to try to relax. You may need to get some fresh air and regroup. It will probably be over in a few hours. If you really really can not take it You can always leave. I am not suggesting it only that it is an option. You can do this! Nothing to fear but fear itself! Smile a lot! You got this! Hugs Lana Mae

[Shely]

lets see a picture for goodness sake.

[ElleStreet]

Yeah sorry, I'm not really in bathroom selfie mood right now to be honest, I'm going out again tommorow I'll take some photos once I'm ready tommorow

[ellbee]

Stop hanging out here! :spank:

You can always do that another time. :)


Go mingle! Chat up a friendly GG or something! :thumbsup:

[donnalee]

You're in it now and the only way out is through, so grit your teeth, screw your resolve to the sticking place and get on with it!

[Tracii G]

Well you are deep in the situation so make the best of it and just be yourself and mingle its not like you can hide at this point.LOLOL

I stopped by a friends house and he was having a get together so one party goer asked what I was dressed as and I said "the gay guy down the street but I see you are dressed like a sexy pirate and I just love pirates are you busy later?"
He left me alone after that.

[ElleStreet]

Ok I'm back home now. It was a nice night if I loo past the constant terror. Had some conversations with some people who were all very complimentary and supportive the bar staff even got me a free drink and tried to get me to dance and kept telling me I looked great and had no reason to be shy which was reassuring. I got invited to an after party but I said no cause I didn't think I could take too much more. I drank a lot but ended up feeling stone sober, apparently anxiety neutralises alcohol

I think the highlight was in the taxi on the way home in the taxi partway into conversation with the driver he said 'I'm sorry but I have to ask, are you a man or a woman?' And then went on to say he never would've guessed if not for my voice and asked if I was a professional and was shocked that it was my first time out dressed. But the idea that I was misgendered even for a short while really gave me confidence that I didn't have earlier in the night. I'm going out tommorow to the real uni party where there'll be a lot more people which is scary but at least I'll be able to smoke there so that shod be a lite relief for me

P.S. False nails make everything harder and are sometimes painful and are a bitch to take off. But they're pretty and make me feel feminine and I'll probably wear them at every opportunity I get

[ellbee]

And you made it out alive?? :confused3:

See, wasn't *that* bad, was it?


Ah, the 1st time is probably usually the toughest. Gets easier after that.

My first *true* full night out in public was a Halloween weekend. Drag contest (no, I didn't enter, LOL) at an LGBT club. Went with 3 gay males, two who I never met before, one of whom who was all dolled-up & in the contest. All that definitely made me more comfortable.

Was still nervous, though. Yet had a good time, considering, and was happy I did it.


Went out again the next night, with the guy I knew above, plus a bunch of GG's & gay males (including a drag queen), all decked-out in awesome costumes. Now *that* was fun! Bar-hopping & house-party afterwards. Even got asked to dance by some guy at a hetero club... Um, what?? :eek: No idea if he knew or not, and I felt really bad turning him down as he seemed pretty genuine & sweet, but I had to. Sitting across from me was a GG friend whose jaw dropped & eyes bugged as it happened, LOL. We all had a huge laugh out of it afterwards, though, at my expense. Good memory!

Definitely easier the 2nd night.

You'll be fine tomorrow! :)


Oh, and you shouldn't smoke. :spank:

Take up vaping, instead! :thumbsup:

[Tracii G]

You made it home alive so I call that a win. Good for you.

[Jane G]

Wow, your out there and despite your blog like posting of the fear you are feeling, you are clearly enjoying the experience. So jealous, enjoy and be you.

[Dana44]

I would say when you do something, Have a great attitude and no fear. Enjoy and go for it. I never ever sat in a corner at a party however I was dressed.. Talk to all the girls and shake every man's hand looking them in the eye. They will appreciate a good attitude.

[ElleStreet]

Hi everyone, I posted yesterday about my first night out and how scary it was. Tonight there's a big uni halloween party with loads of People (3k as opposed to the 50ish there yesterday.

I just got all ready and was feeling good. I live 3mknutrs walk away from the uni so I set off walking. I got to the enterance and decided to have a cig before I joined the line to talk to some people and prepare myself mentally, and then some nice people had set up a stall and were banding out free hot chocolates so I had one and chatted to a girl at the stall.

I suddenly started feeling like I needed to throw up really badly, I don't know if it was from being seen by so many people or the drink or maybe the cig and tight corset but I knew I needed to leave. I started walking home, occaidonally heaving buy I managed to not throw up at least. Once I got he I. Started feeling a lot better. I'm laid on my living room floor now recovering a little before I go back out there ( c
Not very comfortable sat up in the corset)

I'll head backout in a little bit, I need to If only to prove I can do it but I'm gonna recover a little first and them touch up my makeup

P.s on the walk home I hears a girl say to her friend 'I love her shoes' as I wasnwalking by so I think I pass the glance test at least

I'll update you all tommorow, happy halloween

[Lana Mae]

Happy Halloween,Elle! Hugs Lana Mae

[AnnieMac]

DUI . . .Dressing under the influence. Drinking and dressing don't mix honey :)

[Dana44]

I second that Happy Halloween! Take Care and let us know how it went.

[ElleStreet]

I haven't even drank yet, other than that hot chocolate. I'm setting off now see you all tommorow. Also I forgot to put my earrings on so at least something good came of coming back.

Shoulders back, chest out, and I'm heading out the door

[Tracii G]

You are soo entertaining Elle.

[IleneD]

Don't think about it.
Remember. You are just YOU.
Be yourself as naturally as you can, because (frankly) those other people don't care and don't matter.
Respect yourself for having the soul courage to be yourself.

When I go out (dressed) anymore, I do it as brazenly as possible. Audacious. If someone wants to gawk (as I do NOT pass upon exam), I look 'em in the eye and strut along in my heels. TAKE THAT, WORLD!!

[haylee_burnett]

You go girl. ... I just came back , it's just to much fun now. It gets so much easier, soon you'll think how silly it all was. All them shaken up nerves.

[ElleStreet]

I'm entertaining? Never heard that before. How so?

I'm finished for the night now, not to disappoint anyone but I didn't have the greatest time at the club ( not saying I had same bad time either, it was just uneventful) I got there waited in line for 10-15 minutes and chatted to some people. then I got in drank a little, danced a little, had a looksee at all the floors, watched the costume contest and then had a sort of moment where I realised I wasn't really enjoying mgself all that much

Honestly clubs never really did it for me before dressing bit for some reason I assumed I'd enjoy them more dressed ( I'm sure I could with the right group of people on the right night but who know when tgats gonna happen). I met the presidents of the lgbt club yesterday ( they're a lesbian couple, it's the cutest thing) they invited me to hang out with them and to attend some socials I'm probably going to take them up on it but I'm still deciding whether to attend dressed.

Anyway so I was only out for another 1.5-2hours but when I got in I felt bad for not sticking it out the full time so I decided to chMge out of the red riding hood dress. I put on this body on black dress along with a girls bomber jacket, padding and changing my lipstick from red to pink and decided to go shopping.

It's not fancy but there's a 24 hour tesco's 5minutes walk from my house with quite a big clothing department. I ended up spending just under £100 on all sorts (like the pjs I'm wearing now) the nightmare is that I set off the alarm and then the woman who came checked every item in my bag for tags, litterally my worst fear T that moment came true

Anyway, halloweens finished I'm proud of myself for getting out and I have some new clothes to remember it by at least. Finger crossed by the time next year comes around I'll enjoy it more and look even better in my new costume

A years a long enough time to find out what looks good on me right?

[jennifer0918]

Strut your ?????happy Halloween

[Rachel Anne]

Way to go Elle...you took that step. Twice!

I spent an hour and a half tonight getting ready. Nice outfit, took some extra effort into the look, and went out to....drive around the block.

Yippie. From what I'm told, there is a happenin' T scene here and I am absolutely too mortified to even think about going alone, even on our night : (

Rachel

[ellbee]

I met the presidents of the lgbt club yesterday ( they're a lesbian couple, it's the cutest thing) they invited me to hang out with them and to attend some socials I'm probably going to take them up on it but I'm still deciding whether to attend dressed.

DO EEETTTTT!!! :laughing:

Dressed, of course. :)

And if not the first time, then at least the next.


Seriously, if this is something you kinda want to do? This is the perfect opportunity.

Been there, done that. And *definitely* glad I did!


Those 2 young ladies will open doors for you, so to speak. :thumbsup:

[Nikkilovesdresses]

You've got guts, Elle. Your posts read like despatches from the front line in Aleppo...

[ElleStreet]

Jesus, Aleppo? I didn't think the fear was coming through so obviously in the typing all that much. But yeah, I'm glad/ proud that I went through with it. I'll go see those girls whenever there's a meet on next

[Tracii G]

Each outing is different so just consider this the first of many and all the fear will subside in time.

[mykell]

congratz for mustering up the nerve to do it.....so yes, it was entertaining, wonder how i would of handled my younger self at these types of functions, im an old fogie now.....i dont think you will be able to go a whole year to get out again....so please do take up the offer of the LGBT couple you met....could become good friends....

thanks for sharing your tale....