Does it become second nature...

[Miss Mandy]

So today, as I finished my makeup and got fully dressed, I looked in the mirror and saw Mandy. Honestly, I used to get thrilled at this moment. However, I just felt like any other women getting ready for the day.

In other words, it seemed absolutely normal to me. I got my purse, headed to the next town over and shopped for a few hours. It all seems so right now being Mandy. It feels like second nature and it is now who I am...I can't believe how far my feelings and thinking have come versus a few years ago:) Never in a million years did I imagine it would come to this...
Mandy

[audreyinalbany]

I understand. It does seem to become more 'normal' as time goes on. I'd like to be at the point where I could just dress up and go about my business...leave the house without a second thought. Unfortunately I'm still 90 % housebound & going out, while sometimes doable, is still a big deal.

[DIANEF]

Second nature?, for me it is. I get dressed, made up and then do entirely normal things. Recently conquered my fear of going out. and plan much more in the near future.

[Dana44]

Yeah every thing become more natural as there is no secrets that need to be exposed about makeup and dressing. We have our own style and that feels good. I like lacy things and she like frilly things for example. She knows this and bought me a really nice purse with lace on it. So yeah it gets normal.

[Teresa]

Mandy,
I'm beginning to realise how that feels, I still enjoy it because I prefer to look like Teresa.

Going out socially has helped so much with feeling natural and comfortable with it.

If I may add a little story to this, one of our meetings was a barbecue at one of the member' home, I had arranged to drive dressed to Carole's home and stay over so one of us could have a drink during the evening, we planned to have a game of golf the following morning .When I arrived at her home I was wearing a denim skirt, a striped blouse, with a dusky pink suede jacket on top and 2" wedges, I never gave it a thought how I was dressed, I just got out of the car, and knocked on the door luckily it was the right house, when Carole answered I went back to the car to collect my overnight bag , my coat and handbag , all this was in view of a guy walking his dog, and a taxi picking a fare up. At the time I never gave it a second thought but afterwards I commented to Carole after I realised what I had done.

Like you it's not that long ago that I never dreamt anything like this could happen, being dressed and feeling so comfortable , it just feels right.

[Elizabeth G]

Since my opportunities to dress are pretty limited I don't know if it will ever be second nature for me but based on my last couple of outings I suspect so because I was certainly much more comfortable on these recent outings than I was previously.

[NancySue]

I totally understand your feelings. Over time, I've dressed more and more and with support and help from my wonderful wife have achieved my goals. Like your experience, I used to get that nice tingle when I looked in the mirror. I still do occasionally, but more and more my dressing seems to be the normal, natural thing to do. I enjoy many feminine things my wife seems to put up with, like shaving, applying moisturers AM and PM, perfume,underwires, hose, etc. When everything works, (makeup especially) and she smiles and says, "you look very nice", my day is complete. I started a thread recently about some of us who have to "move" our waist up so with pads, give us the curves. I now love my feminine waist more than my natural one. Helpful items like underwire bras, waist cinchers, shapers, pantyhose all feel so natural. I love these fairly new feelings. NancySue

[Rachael Leigh]

Mandy as I've gone out more lately yes that's how I've felt as well it's just normal and no big deal just going out doing a bit
of shopping or whatever so I think it is natural the more you go out

[Lana Mae]

I am not there yet, but after repeating something for so long it just becomes normal. Not sure but it sounds like this is something you do not want? I want to get to this point! I want to just go to the grocery store without changing clothes. Hugs Lana Mae

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mandy:hugs:, I will be 74 in a month and I have been in this program for over 69 yrs now
I still enjoy dressing and after all these years when I am totally finished it just feels so normal...:daydreaming:...

[Pat]

Practice makes perfect, as they say. I was amused last Sunday when I woke up late and had just 20 minutes to get out the door for an appointment -- I washed, dressed, brushed out the hair, did makeup, dithered over shoes and still made it out on time. I remember when it would take hours to get ready to get "en femme" -- to become the person I wanted to be. Now I wake up as that person. ;) But for all that, it's still a thrill every day.

[Maria 60]

We are always looking for a new feeling or look. We are coming along so far it's starting to feel normal and second nature. I know what your feeling.

[deebra]

Mandy you have reached the goal of confidence, I am so glad to hear what you are doing and it helps all of us.

[Pattie]

I have been in femme mode for almost 30 years and I do very much enjoy what I see each morning in the mirror, It's me Pattie, and only Pattie.
Yes I am back from a verrrrrry long road trip had to buy new clothes as I left some at the cleaners at one stop had to leave in about an hours notice, how often do I get to go and buy new clothes and at Macy's. sales assist was very helpful.

[Heidi Stevens]

Yes Mandy, it does become second nature to a lot of us. Then for some of us, this is our first nature and when having to present as male, it is second nature because we've had to do it so long. To someone with gender dysphoria, the female life style feels natural, so your confidence is high as you present to the world. I use my inner strength and confidence from Heidi to pull me thru this world.

[Alice Torn]

It does tend to take over our lives. some. I was dressed for at least 8 hours yesterday, and looked fantastic like a tall, gorgeous lady, i think, But, i cannot let my thing over take me, to where i am not doing things that need to be done, like packing and moving everything i own today and tomorrow. I may need to stop dressing for a while to get the rest of my life in order, and functional. i have some mental and emotional illnesses too, which run in my very sick family of origin, and obsess on everything, racing thoughts all the time. It is a joy to be be all dolled up, and occasionally go out of the safe closet, but for me, i must deal with many issues, and be more responsible with the rest of my messed up life. But, it does become second or first nature. it can take over, in a not healthy way, though, for me.

[Kandi Robbins]

Couldn't agree more. When it's one of my Kandi days, I just go about the business of preparing myself, almost always drive right down the street en femme and off I go about my day. I used to pause to gain the courage to leave the car and now I simply garb my purse and off I go. I have done things I never even would have dreamed of doing and now it's nothing but fun for me.

[Eryn]

Depending upon how far you progress across the spectrum, it will become first nature, and even boring. When I first started going out it was so exciting, with planing, wardrobe, jewelery, preparation, makeup, etc.

I've been full-time for six months. Now I have to do those things every day to go to work. I've become good at it, but the thrill is gone, replaced by a sense of comfort.

[sometimes_miss]

For some of us, doing all the stereotypical female behaviors has always felt like 'the normal thing'.

[StevieTV]

It does become more "regular" as you present yourself more. Yesterday, I was at a thrift store and saw a pair of boots. There were both women and men in the store. I was dressed to blend (jeans, sweater and coat, some make up but not a lot) and had no issues trying them on to see if they fit. They did and I bought them. The cashier asked if I wanted a bag, that was it. No biggie.

[CynthiaD]

The short answer is "yes, it does." After a while, presenting as female just seems normal. Some people don't want this. They want their crossdressing to feel special. They want it to be a thrill. But personally, I love the feeling of normality. When I see the woman in the mirror looking back at me, the feeling that this is "just normal," is the biggest thrill of all.

[suzanne]

Doesn't that feel wonderful, Mandy? It sounds like your feminine side has become your normal, and that's fantastic. It happens to me, too. When I see myself in the mirror wearing that perfect ensemble, my tiny inner voice whispers, "This is me the way I'm supposed to be." It warms me to my core and the world feels like a happier place.

[Ally 2112]

For me it took a long time to reach normal and now that i have the last few years have been a lot more enjoyable

[jeanine38]

I can't say that it's become something I don't think about. I don't dress to pass however I underdress full time, and many of my clothes are from the other side of the aisle, just muted in color and style. I have never felt as if I don't know I have a bra on, however I'm so used to it that it feels odd not wearing one sometimes. Same thing with my purse, it's just part of my life, but I'm always aware that it's not part of the so-called mainstream.

[LesliePinky]

Yup first time i wore sexy shorts in publici feel like im free haha but right now just seems normal although i get that feeling sometimes whenever i have new shorts or tops

[Rachel Anne]

For me it's completely the opposite experience....

Years and years and I'm still worried about going outside. Tonight was a good example. Time for my weekly "drive of fright" to the mailbox around the block.

Lots of years of practice. I live alone so I can do what I want. I put the "going out" effort into everything, and it all seems to look good in the mirror. I step to the door, the houses on the street are all dark. But just as before I step out I get the second thoughts. Its dark out, and I know no one would think to look twice at the size 10 brunette walking to the car, but I think "what if a neighbor is just looking out now...they know that's my car and...."

Get undressed, clean up and back to the couch and Netflix. Maybe I'll try Thursday.

[Beverley Sims]

Doing makeup is just a part of going out.

As long as I look trim taut and terrific when I go out the door I feel I have achieved the look.

I do have other feelings that well up inside me from time to time and do dress accordingly.