My first night

[Karla Edwards]

I finally got the nerve to get out! I've always enjoyed getting dressed and going for a drive, usually at night. For the last few years I've always wanted to stop somewhere and go in.
I'm still experimenting with the make-up but tonight my dress fit perfectly and my new wig is a confidence builder to say the least.
My first stop tonight was a no-go. I pulled into a little convenience store that wasn't busy at all. I sat and waited for the only customer inside to leave and i ended up sitting in my vehicle for about three or four more minutes giving myself the "now or never" speech. I got out and headed for the door and as I pulled on the door it was locked. The two ladies working looked up from counting registers and both gave friendly smiles and mouthed, "Sorry. Closed." I actually intended on getting a Diet Dr Pepper. I don't know if it was just nerves making me so thirsty or what.
I pulled across the street to a Burger King and decided on the drive-thru. At least it was a step.
The thrill I got from sitting at the window waiting for my drink was amazing! Just being Karla and not acting sheepish but as though I knew exactly what I was doing... Amazing.
As i pulled away I knew I couldn't go home. I had to get out and walk in somewhere. I drove another fifteen minutes with maybe a Walmart in mind (I do need more foundation!). As I pulled into the parking lot I quickly decided there were still too many evening Walmart shoppers. I had noticed another little convenience store back up the street and decided that would be my final test of the night. As I walked in, the older Wilfred Brimley-type was wiping the counter and I proceeded to the cooler. I took my drink to the counter and he asked if that was all... With a little "hun" at the end. Exactly what I needed. It wasn't a club or restaurant or even a clothing store but it was my first hurdle and I'm happy I finally tried. Now to plan the next trip.

[Alice_2014_B]

Very cool Karla!

I started by going to the post office at night (when I had a PO box).

Next thing I know, after nights of department stores and talking to no one, I'm on stage doing stand-up full en femme in heels (only go out en femme in heels) and talking to SA's at stores.

Steps are steps.

I too know the feeling of wanting to just go to more places to walk around, just like tonight, though the wife and I went to three stores.

:)

[jennifer0918]

Good job Karla,it only gets easier after this.I remember my first time out and reading your thread made me feel like I was reliving my firsr time all over again.My advice to you is just have fun I have taken cabs,gone to the mall a bar and a shoe store.have fun enjoy yourself

[softer side]

That's awesome!! Go at your own pace and keep it enjoyable. For now, avoid making detailed plans for outings and creating anxiety. Plan a date with some options and let your evening unfold within your comfort zone. I found myself often thinking 'that was easy' and then I'd set the bar too high for the next adventure leaving me discouraged. Some days you'll be fine strutting down Main Street at high noon while other days a trip from the car to the bank machine will give you a panic attack and you just don't know until you're there.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Karla,

Your experience sounds very similar to my first time out. I was in equal parts terrified and exhilarated and did almost exactly the same thing as you. I went out at night, spent a lot of time during in my car analyzing the situation, searching for less populated places etc.

As others have said, it gets easier. My last trip out was in broad daylight in and out of malls and stores, right up main street in the capital city, no fear, terror or trepidation at all, and I can't wait to do it again.

Congratulations on this step - it was a big one! I hope you had a great time.

Elizabeth

[Connie D50]

Good for you Karla I hope this is the beginning of many many more advantages, have fun with it. Connie

[Helen_Highwater]

Well done you. Many for us will know just where you're coming from as you talk about those early adventures.

The voice in our head says "Too many people, move on" when in fact more can be better. If you're in a store and there's only one other shopper, they'll notice you. It's much easier to disappear in a crowd. Think of the movies were the bad guy running from the hero vanishes into the street parade. I can recall my first trip in daylight into a department store. people were too busy looking for what they wanted to look at those around them. Also my first time at a very busy outlet retail park. 90% of the crowd didn't even look at me at all as they went about their own business.

There's also the safety in numbers case to be made. Forget being enfemme. You're far more likely to be robbed walking across a quiet parking lot on your own than when there's loads of folks about.

So don't skulk, act like you belong, work on your mannerisms and carry on talking those steps forward.

[NancySue]

Kudos Karla for your courage and decision to take a very important step forward. Like many others, I had the same feelings and trepidations. Each time out is a whole new experience from deciding what to wear, where to go, etc. I recently went out for a drive and passed a Payless shoe store. I stopped, went in, tried on several pairs of shoes and bought a lovely pair of heels. The ice was broken, so I headed over to Walmart and checked out their lingerie department. Being able to blend in and shop or try things on is exhilarating. It gets easier with each outing. Every trip is different. Go slow, take a few deep breaths if you get nervous. In both cases, the SA was very kind.

[Gypsy Sam]

Enjoyed reading about your venturing to public places. Courage and determination are part of your strengths. Admire those who present as female in public, as you are paving the way for those of us not ready to do so.

[Pat]

Awesome! It gets easier and easier and the more you find that you can do it the more you do. ;) Congratulations!

[Lana Mae]

Comfortable steps! You go, girl!! Onward and upward! Hugs Lana Mae

[DIANEF]

Karla, after a few late drives had my first daylight trip a week ago. Felt at first that literally every pair of eyes was staring at me, but quickly realised, actually, no. they're not, a good feeling. Stepped out of my car, legs like jelly, again, no one gave me a second look. I now intend taking it one step further, a browse around a store maybe, and see how it goes.

[TrishaLake]

We all start small and safe...sounds like you are getting the nerve to do this. What's next?

[Maria 60]

Oh yeah! You know it's not going to end here. It's going to get bigger and better and hopefully you can take us for the ride.

[suzanne]

Super! Way to go! Don't get caught up in thinking your outing is not as big as others you may have heard of. Every time you expand your comfort zone, it's a great thing, and all of us appreciate your accomplishment.

You taught me something. It never occurred to me that doing a drive through is a confidence builder, but I guess it is. Thanks for reminding me. Here's opinion you have many more great outings.

[Lori Kurtz]

One step at a time ... you're making great progress. Keep going, girlfriend.

[Stephanie47]

I am assuming this adventure was on Halloween. Halloween was my first interaction with humans. I dolled myself in all black and full makeup and a blond wig. I went into a Safeway and bought a bottle of Coca Cola. The next Halloween I wore a jade dress with a black pattern and full makeup and a brunette wig. I went to a Wichell's Donut store and bought some donuts.

[Karla Edwards]

Thanks for the encouragement and advice, y'all. The safety in numbers comment really makes do much sense but I really want feel more comfortable with my look as Karla. Definitely a goal worth working towards.

[Scarlett398]

Hi Karla, I'm Scarlett. My first time out was when my wife was out of town. I went to the movie theater we usually go to and I purchased a ticket to a 9 o'clock movie while dressed as a guy. Then went back to the theater at 8:45 to check in for the show. I opened the front door to the theater and no one was around to take my ticket so I was able to go straight to the theater number that the movie was scheduled for. I was kinda lucky because I ended up being the only one in there to watch the show. The whole getting dressed and ready, the drive there, the movie and the drive back was exciting, fun, sexy, sensual, and a bit nerve racking as well. But I felt like after I left the theatre that I now had the confidence to stroll right down the main hallways of a mall without the folks knowing there was a guy in the makeup and clothes. Short skater skirts, black or brown tights, knee high boots or suede ankle booties, never overdone makeup, and a really nice chin length bob wig is how I roll. I also wear close fitting knit shirts with a bit of elastine or spandex in them. I usually use 4 inch wide elastic belts with faux diamonds in the front faux leather part of the belt with the diamonds in the buckle as well. I can't wait to get out there again. I think my next outing is some time in January and it might be two nights back to back in a row. I can't wait to get out there dressed all pretty and sexy again. Wish I knew how to post photos on this site but haven't figured it out yet. Anyway, glad you had such a positive outing first time out. It was really exciting wasn't it?.....Scarlett

- - - Updated - - -

Hi Elizabeth! Can't wait to do my first mall stroll. Probably coming up in January. I'll probably walk up and down all the main hallways and maybe walk through a couple of the main anchor stores and maybe one or two girl stores like Wet Seal or Rue 21 or maybe a Forever 21 or an H&M store. In January the sun goes down really early and I can get into my car without the neighbors seeing me dressed like a girl. I live in a real conservative neighborhood so I have to be really careful when leaving my house. I also can only go out when my wife is out of town on business. I am still in the closet and can't ever come out but that's OK with me. Like you, my first time out was exhilarating and nerve racking at the same time. But with the boots fitting perfectly, I can walk very easy in them and I usually have black or brown tights with short skater skirts and close fitting long sleeved close fitting scoop necked or turtle necked pretty thin tops on. I won't ever probably be able to go out during daylight because of my neighbors who will never find out that I am a cross dresser. That's it for tonight....Scarlett