Do you grow out your beard before you dress shop?

[Judy-Somthing]

Do you grow out your beard before you dress shop?

Dose it fool anyone or make it more obvious?

I find it easer to buy girly stuff after I let my beard grow for at least a week.

[CarlaWestin]

Well, uh, no. There've been times that after work, I'm at the thrift store in my work uniform with a bit of a shadow showing.
But, I'm only interested in the arm full of dresses and handful of bras.

[Lily Catherine]

In my experience dress shopping, I've only worn male clothing, so my beard (at least the shadow thereof) has been grown to varying lengths depending on how long I want to keep it. It doesn't make it any less obvious that I'm buying a dress / jeans / lingerie / whatever.

[Elizabeth G]

I don't even give it a second thought. I've shopped in a goatee, clean shaven, three day growth etc. I prefer clean shaven so if I try something on the beard doesn't become a distraction.

[mdavis]

At this point I've got a tightly trimmed goatee and moustache so my answer is yes. :)
I think I'd even dress/clothing shop clean shaven (waiting for that day-in the closet at this point and my wife likes the facial hair)

[sara66]

I am usually clean shaved. It looks better when you are trying things on. I stop worrying about what the SA think and just go for it. It beats wasting time and money in stuff that doesn't fit or looks bad.
Sara

[Jaylyn]

I guess I buy some things with a shadow or a weeks growth but since I really don't shop for dresses then no. I have bought cosmetics with a grizzly old looking fart of a beard and even some panty hose.

[Krisi]

I shave every day (my face). I don't wear a beard. So no, I don't grow a beard to shop. I don't even think about it.

[Karen RHT]

Similar to Krisi, I shave pretty much every day as I prefer to be clean shaven. As such, I shop for whatever it is I want while clean shaven.


Karen

[dolovewell]

When shopping in male mode I just shop. I don't care what others think. If anyone asks I just be honest and say its for me. I think that's a lot easier and I get better reactions than when I say I am shopping for my wife or GF.

[jennifer0918]

I shop in guy mode,but I don't try anything on,and I don't even ask too.

[ellbee]

I just make sure to throw in some manly stuff like a wrench, some motor oil & some fishing gear, in hopes that it does a good-enough job in detracting.

Then I'll just point out that the dress is for my really hot GF -- but she's not with me at the moment because, um, she lives in Canada. :heehee:




(I'm joking, of course. ;) )

[DIANEF]

Always clean shaved, not really CD related, just prefer it that way.

[Jenn A116]

My femme shopping is unrelated to the state of my beard growth. Of course I'm always in drab so it doesn't matter.

[Lorileah]

Then I'll just point out that the dress is for my really hot GF -- but she's not with me at the moment because, um, she lives in Canada. :heehee:



shades of AvenueQ (can't post here because adult lyrics) :)

[Meghan4now]

I'm confused. Why would letting my beard grow help me fool anyone. Wouldn't that just make putting on foundation a huge mess?

Oh in boy mode? But I wouldn't be fooling anyone when I went to try it on! Wait, you mean buy something "for my wife"? I'll buy a top, or pretty lingere, or something like that, but not a dress for her. And who cares if your clean shaven at that point.

Uh can I buy this for my wife. Well what size is she. Uh about my height....and weight...But with boobs. Well it's a good thing you have a goatee, otherwise, I would say that they were for you, and that would be ewww so pervy!. Yeah, good thing!

[karla2016]

I already passed the stage that I said the clothes were for my sister or girlfriend. Now I directly say to the clerk that they are for me, and so far I have had no problem and the attention I feel is much better now because I feel now that the females clerks in the stores see me more like a girl than a man.

Karla

[Jessica S]

Depends on the time of year. Right now it is deer hunting season. So I have a beard. In a month I may not.

[Jenniferathome]

So Judy, I take it that by doing this you believe that the store workers are less inclined to believe you are a cross dresser?

How many other men were shopping for dresses the last time you went?
How many men do you really think shop for dresses for their GF or wife?

Now, what do you think is the typical image of a cross dresser in the mind of your average sales clerk in the women's department? Rue Paul? That guy who won the Euro singing contest? Does a beard limit their imagination when you walk up with your size 12, 16, 22, dress?

I will posit that if one were an obvious size 12, but buying a size 00, you'd likely get the nod of buying for a wife/GF. Anything close to your actual size and it's for you.

[Rachael Leigh]

Absolutely not, I hate facial hair and try to always be clean shaven. Just looks wrong on my face

[arial]

Beards are not for me. I strive to get the the closest shave possible; that entails using a straight razor....daily

[suzanne]

When I go dress shopping in drab, I don't even think about what my beard looks like. But when I'm dressed, I try to make sure I'm shaven. I feel like a beard doesn't go with a feminine look, even though I don't try to pass.

[Teresa]

Judy,
No I don't they really don't care who you are buying for.

I close shave every day that includes my face, chest and legs, I just make it a routine. If I ask advice or want to chat about clothes or whatever I feel more comfortable being clean shaven, especially if I do try something on .

[immindy]

Well , ummm , Maybe this wasnt what you were looking for but I do let my beard grow out before I go out shopping or what ever . I then shave right before putting on my make up. I have found if I let it grow out a bit I get a much closer shave. I feel much more comfortable shopping for girl clothes in girl mode. But yes , I have found a cute thing or two while in guy mode so had to buy it then :)

[Lana Mae]

I am clean shaved in both modes! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stephanie47]

No, I'm fairly clean shaven most days. My facial hair is not so dark as to give me a quick five o'clock shadow. I can understand why a man shopping for himself may grow out his facial hair. If it makes him feel more comfortable, so be it. In my younger days I use to stock up on shoes at various Payless stores at Halloween time, and, lingerie at Christmas and Valentine's Day. Those holiday made it easier for me to buy unmentionables for a young wife. Now with eBay and e-commerce I just order on-line.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Do you grow out your beard before you dress shop?

Why would you ask that?


Dose it fool anyone or make it more obvious?


I find it easer to buy girly stuff after I let my beard grow for at least a week.

Why does it make it easier? You need to start some serious self examination and ask yourself why you think that way. Have you ever heard of the term "internalized transphobia"? Basically it is when a transpeople don't accept themselves.

To put it generally. Many crossdressers worst enemy are...themselves.

Veronica

[Becky Blue]

I have found that 99% of shop assistants don't care, i don't think that growing a beard will fool them anyway. But if it somehow makes it easier for you, then do whatever you gotta do I say.

[Tracii G]

Wow now that is an odd question and like Veronica said you need to ask yourself why you asked it.
Homophobia/transphobia is so rampant here its astounding.
So if I am to understand your line of thinking a few days of beard growth will make the SA think you aren't gay? Is that it?
Oh FYI 70% of my gay male friends either have beards or let several days beard growth happen before they shave.
The 5o'clock shadow is considered hot buy some guys I know.
So your beard theory has no validity.

[Rhonda Jean]

I shop (and have for over 40 years) in everything full male, full fem, and everything in between. I get "May I help you?" or some variation of that all the time. But, I'd say in all that time there have been less than 10 times I've been challenged in a "Is this for you?" way, and every single time it was a remarkably positive experience (at least as far as I can remember).

Contrary to your fears, I wish it happened more! I have loved every one of those exchanges. Even the most awkward of them. I'll admit there were times I was tempted to laugh it off as "I'm just shopping for my wife", but glad every time that I didn't. Hiding it is depriving yourself of one of the little joys of this lifestyle. You'll never know how great that feels until you do it. Chances are, though, you'll be waiting a while for it to happen.

BTW, the strangest one of all is when I was round cotton pads! The clerk asked, "Are these for you!?!" as if buying/using cotton pads was the height of femininity. I just said, "Yes. And you wouldn't believe what else I buy!" I wish I had remembered what she looked like so I could go through her line with a bra and panties or makeup. I could have been epic!

[Tracii G]

Rhonda Jean that is so true its the little off the cuff comments out shopping that are so much fun.
The SA's seem to enjoy asking if they can help or is that for you?
Think of it as a way the SA is opening a more accepting dialog with you.
My advice is go with it and have some fun. Be open and let them have some fun too.

[Teresa]

Rhonda Jean,
That's why I prefer to shop alone you can have fun with SAs or chat to them about clothes.

I had a funny little thing happen in a charity shop in drab and saw a blue handbag, I'd been searching for some time so grabbed it off the sales rack, a young guy who worked in the shop looked and said, " that won't go with what you're wearing ", I replied, " no but it will go exactly with what I'll be wearing tomorrow night !"

Sometimes I feel I should write all these down I really have had some fun !

[barbara gordon]

I get the idea that you might want to disguise your motivewith a more macho or butchlook withthe beard . If it gives you confidence , its probablu ok ,but you really are welcome to shop as much as you want and whereever you want! No matter how you shaveor not .
For me, ilike to be clean shavenof i am going to look for womens clothes . Ihave gotten to the point that i will try clothes on at the stores wether i am drag or drab .
I feel like being clean shaven actually makes other shoppers and store staff more comfortable. Which makes me more comfortable too.

This made me think of the growing out the beard thing:
I will sometimes grow mine out a little. Bit on days following any days i have been out dressed and wearing full make up , for me that gives me a little less worry. Because i think it can detract from any leftover traces of mascara or lipstick ..


Ps sorry for terrible spelling as i peck away on a tiny phone screen

[donnatracey]

I usually like to be clean shaven when shopping. On a related note, I always shave my legs before I get a pedi; I like the girls to have a smooth surface to work with when they work on my lower legs plus it makes the color on my nails stand out more....:battingeyelashes:

[Krisi]

................... I will posit that if one were an obvious size 12, but buying a size 00, you'd likely get the nod of buying for a wife/GF. Anything close to your actual size and it's for you.

My wife and I wear the same size in blouses, skirts and dresses. We shop together so most folks would assume whatever we are buying is for her.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

How many other men were shopping for dresses the last time you went?
How many men do you really think shop for dresses for their GF or wife?

I will posit that if one were an obvious size 12, but buying a size 00, you'd likely get the nod of buying for a wife/GF. Anything close to your actual size and it's for you.

As an aside to the topic here's a funny anecdote. I got tripped up by that fact when buying a birthday gift for my sister. I was shopping at a store that I had bought things for myself at...but I hadn't directly said they were for me. (It was some time between 97 and 2001 I think) Now if I had been asked directly, I would have said yes. So there I was buying a gift, think it was a dress. And my sister and I have similar builds. I'm slightly taller, with bigger shoulders, she's more apple-y but we're pretty close in size.

The SA takes the item I'd found, and says "And who might this be for?" In a very knowing voice with a very knowing look in her eye. And like an idiot...I told the truth: "it's for my sister".

The moment I said that, I internally facepalmed. I KNEW what I had done. Given one of the standard flimsy crossdresser excuses: "It is for wife/sister/etc." Yes it was true in this circumstance, but the SA didn't know that.

The SA smirked and then gave me a look that said. "I know you're buying this for you, you crossdresser you." I was so flummoxed and embarassed that I didn't say anything else.

What I should have said after that was: "Not shopping for me, this time, this really is a birthday gift. Wasn't really looking out for anything for myself...maybe next time."

Of course now if someone asked me that: "Yes, it's for me." But I probably wouldn't have to do that, I get spotted as trans fairly quickly even in guy mode. Some years back I Asked one Lane Bryant SA how she spotted me when I was shopping in guy mode after she asked "Find anything, can I start you a dressing room?" She laughed and said it was how I looked at, touched and interacted with the clothing, like a woman and not a "clueless" man....and also the hair. She said a non-trans man buying a gift wouldn't have touched the things, pulled them off the rack and looked at them like I did. And she said she was happy that I was forthright and honest about it, and she mentioned all the obvious CD's who came in who were too scared to admit it. She was a great SA, found a nice pair of trousers for me, similar to ones my sister had that I liked. (but the ones my sister had were discontinued and were more flattering)


Veronica

[Cheryl T]

It would look terrible with my makeup, so no.
I just put on something cute and grab my purse...it has my credit cards....lol

[Lacey New]

Nope. I always shop in drab but I go clean shaven and dressed in "business casual" being as inconspicuous as possible. Clean and well groomed - just an average guy who happens to enjoy wearing women's clothing.

[Adriana Moretti]

thats cool you found a way to make it easier for you to buy womens clothes. I used to convince myself I was a buyer for a fashion boutique when I shopped the thrift store LOL....

thru time when i got more comfortable and confident...i diddnt need an excuse , the same will prob happen to you too, after time it wont even matter anymore and you will shop clean faced or not.

in the end nobody cares anyway what your buying its pretty much in our heads xoxo

[Judy-Somthing]

Adriana,

Don't forget I'm 58 and if I still feel uncomfortable now I most likely will never be. But one I'm out of the store I'm glad I did it.

[Kiwi Primrose]

In my experience you won't full a SA no matter what you are wearing. They always seem to know when I am buying for myself and are very attentive.

[Tracii G]

thats cool you found a way to make it easier for you to buy womens clothes. I used to convince myself I was a buyer for a fashion boutique when I shopped the thrift store LOL....

thru time when i got more comfortable and confident...i diddnt need an excuse , the same will prob happen to you too, after time it wont even matter anymore and you will shop clean faced or not.

in the end nobody cares anyway what your buying its pretty much in our heads xoxo

This exactly.
You are the one that needs to get over the fear of shopping for female items or clothes because nobody really cares what you buy and who its for.
Don't feel the need to have to explain yourself to anyone.
Feeling you need to explain is showing others the guilt you have by trying to hide it.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Adriana,

Don't forget I'm 58 and if I still feel uncomfortable now I most likely will never be.

Why do you say that? The one constant thing is change. Age doesn't matter, I'm 49 myself. You don't think I had issues with internalized transphobia? I did.
There is nothing wrong with crossdressing or being trans. It is what it is. Why doesn't matter, what matters is how you deal with it. You've been doing this a long time, right, since your were 8? Don't you think it's long past time you accepted that this is a thing that is going to be with you forever, and that it is best to accept that and deal with it in an Adult way. No excuses, no bullshit, no purges, no DADT. You're a crossdresser.