Major change coming my way

[MissTee]

I've shared here many times that I have (or feel I have) the ideal mix of dress/no dress scenarios. My wife knows and is supportive, BTW. I have my main home which is in a place where nearly everyone knows me and I do NOT dress, not even at home. Too many unexpected guests and kids/grandkids showing up out of no where. I have very few Misty things there, and the few I do are under deep cover.

Several states away I have a separate place that is and has been my private Girlville retreat. Closets full of girl clothes and shoes, a totally pink bedroom theme (tasteful) and an adjoining pink everywhere bath. Cosmetics and jewelry galore, too. Kitchen is pink as I can get it, too. Throughout the house are signs of feminine design and touch. My wife calls it the "girl cave" and loves hanging out and relaxing there - with and without me.

Moving along, I've always known one day I would need to give it up. I was able to keep this dual place existence because I traveled a lot for work. The down side is that travel gets old, the demanding schedule takes a toll on the mind and body, and I spend far more time away from family than I want to. So, come the end of January I'm giving up the girl cave and scaling back on the travel. Will likely pick up a new role at work -- or maybe even retire from this and do something else.

That's a lot of change and I'm having my moments of emotional swings. I'm gaining work/life balance while having to go into hiding with my dressing. What's a girl to do . . . .

[Lana Mae]

Girl cave sounds wonderful!! Sorry you must give it up! I am very sad for you! Sometimes we have to do what we have to do. Special hugs Lana Mae

[CONSUELO]

Hooray for Girlville. We all need one of those.

[Laura912]

A small apartment in your town or in a nearby city, with easy travel.

[RainbowDash]

At least u have a place u could escape to, I don't have any such place so I'm jealous ;) lol. I wish I had such a safe haven I could go to, where I could dress up as a woman to my heart's content. I hope u have some success finding another place like this for urself.

[Stephanie47]

If you were paying a mortgage or renting the house perhaps the same amount of money will let you get a "girl cave" near your primary home. You may want to consider instituting a policy of people calling before dropping in. I find there is no reason for my wife and I to drop everything because unexpected guests/kids knock.

[Krisi]

Is there a reason you can't have a "girl cave" closer to home?

[AnnieMac]

Hahaha I love it - girl cave! Sounds like a separate thread to start of what we would all put in our girl caves - no erotic innuendo intended:)

[MissTee]

My kids have keys to our primary home and we've used them to house sit while we were away. Always had a welcome anytime policy fro them as well, and same for great neighbors who just drop in. Wouldn't want to change that, and would probably raise suspicion if I did. Again, just kept it sanitized from a CD perspective because of all of that (and nothing my daughters dig through everything when they "house it."

I would love nothing more than to keep a girl cave somewhere. Traveling frequently and working far away made it pretty easy to have a girl cave where I did. One, it was far away from those who might otherwise frequent; and, two, the "work out there" reason was the justification. I spent 50-60% of my time there, too. Dressing time was plentiful.

So, two reasons for not having another girl cave (at least not yet). Again, work was the rational for having a second place. It wasn't a vacation retreat so no one else used it or wanted to. If I get something nearby spending time there and keeping it under wraps will be impossible to either rationalize or explain. Next, not sure yet where we'll land money wise. I am being very conservative with the spending until I know with a little more certainty what the future holds.

That I have been able to dress on some consistent basis has helped me have a soulful balance. I could dress, or not, as I felt I needed. Amazing that it keeps the pink fog dormant, too. Most of us understand this calling we have never really goes away. In my situation I've learned to keep it fed and watered it, or it grows silly on me -- which is really the reason I posted. Great ideas here on how others manage the calling and life outside of it.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Since you're very clear about how much the dressing means to you, it seems you definitely need to find a way to make it work. Perhaps when Misty's voice gets loud enough you'll buckle...even if it's just to go take a motel room sometimes.

[Dana44]

I don't know how much room you have, but couldn't you build a small apartment on your property and and turn it into your girl cave. Almost like a big shed.
or get a small apartment close to you.

[Tracy Irving]

So sorry to hear about the loss of the girl cave. A weekend getaway is always fun.

You can have it all with a tiny house. I hear it is the next big thing.

[Allison Chaynes]

Maybe find some like minded gals and go in on a "deer camp." As far as anyone else knows, it's an outdoor retreat.

[Ozark]

My wife and I have a lake cabin about 40 miles from our house. That rustic cabin was my 'tom-boy' cave. I kept my pretty clothes in the cedar closet. Now, we are in our Airstream camped at a campground heading south. My wife tolerates my Iowa farm wife dressing.... I'm in Chic elastic waist jean with faux fly....I started wearing elastic waist jeans and shorts when I broke my wrist and couldn't handle belts or zippers. A woman's tee shirt and bali full cut brief panties. Pretty nice

[Kiersten]

Girl cave sounds wonderful. Sorry to hear about the loss of it.

[Teresa]

MissTee,
You say your wife knows and is supportive and she enjoys your girl cave as much as you but do you children also know about your dressing and the retreat.

I might be in a DADT situation with my wife but she has the comfort knowing my children also know now and are OK about it. If' I said I said I wanted a retreat they wouldn't think it was that odd. I wouldn't make it as girly because it would only be fair to let the children and grandchildren use it. In fact we had a cottage on the coast and I very much regret selling it, but we had to get the kids through university so they got the benefit in a different way.

I understand you have to consider finances but somewhere closer to home that all the family could use may be a good compromise even ask them to contribute towards the cost if they like the idea of a retreat themselves .OK you would have to have a secure area for you dressing items but at least you still have a retreat but perhaps not a girl cave .

[Krisi]

I don't see why you couldn't' have a "girl cave" nearby and not tell anyone but your wife) about it. Just a small apartment would do.

[MissTee]

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and ideas. My wife knows and supports, but the kids do not. We think one of my daughters has suspicions, but I can't see me dressing around them and being comfortable about it. Besides, my calling doesn't drive me to share beyond my wife. Happy to just curl up and girl up in a private setting and relax, maybe do nails or make-up, read a book or whatever. Not having a regular outlet to do that is what I'm struggling with. For so long it's been a part of me being at peace.

[MissTee]

Discussed with the wife tonight my "need" to keep a girl place, as well as some options. Thought she would be ready to have that discussion as she's always been supportive. Not so. She responded it was a selfish concern. I was completely blown away.

[Becky Blue]

Sorry to hear, its going to be very tough without your special spot.

[MissTee]

Tonight I arrived at the girl cave for my last time. This trip is the finale to a long run of having my very own "all girl" hangout. I give it up at the end of this month. Likewise, I have finally decided to retire from my currrent job and seek another direction. Not sure what that is, but just know in my heart it's time for a change. I will be here for 2 weeks alone, then my wife joins me for an enfemme farewell to the girl cave. I feel emotionally swamped and drained all at once.

[gina shiney]

Those of us whom are not jealous of your cave, can feel your loss and wonder how you are going to achieve the balance of Missy & male. You currently have none of her things at home and due to open family home policy that would be difficult to change that status without questions being raised. (Said or unsaid) Missy has been spoilt and I would like to know what mechanisms you have in place to deal with her urges when they will ultimately occur. A whole cave of wondrous freedom will have to be stored (somewhere) &if not at home access becomes the issue. I wish you the best and truly hope the final weeks of pleasure and joy are enjoyed by both you and your wife.
ps hope 2017 is a better year in regards to your health

[MissTee]

A whole cave of wondrous freedom will have to be stored (somewhere) &if not at home access becomes the issue

My wife talked to me of the same concern. She said she sees how happy/relaxed I am when I get to dress. For now, and with everything else going on, we haven't had a chance to ponder alternative solutions. As for the wardrobe, I have an offsite storage (climate controlled) space and will store everything there until we can sort this out.

[Helen_Highwater]

I have a great deal of empathy with your situation. For years and years, I worked a good deal from home and had the house to myself so I could dress for 5+ hours a day. Job changes meant I got re-located to a 9-5 office based job so finding time to dress (being in the closet) was scarce. As with most things we get use to any given situation and adapt. I do however look back on what were halcyon days with much fondness. Looking back, that change is what partially motivated me to get properly out and about. It's possible without that enforced change I may never have undertaken all the things I've done in the past 3-4 years.

So don't get too despondent. Things have a way of working themselves out and who know what opportunities any new career my bring with it.