Bad day out

[AprilR]

​The other day at the Quarry did not turn out to be a good day for me. I went there to shop at a few stores and try out some clothing. But the whole time i was over there i did not feel comfortable. There were only two stores that I've tried some stuff on. One was at a shoe store but sadly they didn't have any heels that were in my size just flats and tenny shoes. The other was Avenue. The SA there were friendly and let me try on a few bras and a skirt. But the whole time i was there i felt stuffy and out of place. Now i feel lost and wondering what to do next. I did go out as my male self wearing my thong gaff. For the most part it felt good. But if i want to wear panties than I would have to start practicing basic taping. Its going to be a while before I step outside again so until the mean time I'm going to spend some time reflecting on that days experience.

[dan.dan]

Small lingerie shops are usually very supportive. I wear panties / bra and try on nighties. However, you need to be prepared to buy one so you don't abuse the privilege of trying on sexy nighties....

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi April:hugs:, That was probably just a down day, The pink fog will sneak up on you when you least expect it...:daydreaming:...

[Jeri Ann]

Hey April,
I have been to the Quarry a couple of times and it seemed "stuffy" to me also. I left without that "up" feeling that shopping should produce. The problem could be in the culture of that immediate area or maybe that venue.
Jeri

[IleneD]

April,

Don't be discouraged, dear.
All too often those "feelings" of being out of place or (worse!) the entire world detecting us dressed in women's clothing, are just in our heads. It gets amplified and overwrought when all along no one else even notices your presence.
And frankly, I've become audacious is how I go out. If I don't "pass" (which I don't do well upon examination), and I can see that people can tell, I smile and look 'em in the eye. It actually becomes part of the fun.
Just go out. Be you. DARE to be you. Don't reflect on your shopping trip too long. Get back on that horse and ride. You're a Texan.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm going to go out on a limb here to say that based on your description, you generally find shopping for your feminine side to be a nerve-wracking experience. Therefore, if you perceive that things are going perfectly or that others might be judging you, it shows in your demeanor. The way this is seen by others is that you'll come across as creepy.

Add to that your presentation. Presenting as a female goes far to disarm others, assuming your look is consistent with time, place, weather, event, etc. If you are shopping in guy mode, you need to be prepared to hold your head high and absolutely own what you are doing. Behave as if you belong, because you do. But you will never find a pleasant experience if you are perceived as creepy by others. I also suspect you didn't buy anything. Showing some green goes a long way towards positivity and acceptance by others and can help to cultivate future trips back. Do you want to be a loyal customer or the CD'er who keeps coming back to play dress-up without ever buying anything?

As for what you are wearing, I'm not sure how relevant your gaff is to this whole thing, nor do I understand your perception that tape is a requirement.

[Stephanie47]

I think the majority of cross dressing men would be apprehensive shopping in a women's fashion store for themselves. I'd say you went a lot farther than most men when you tried on undergarments and a skirt. I've found the majority of shopping experiences to rather a dull affair, whether for male or female clothing. I don't appreciate being ignored, but, I don't expect marching bands either. I do agree with dan.dan (#2) being prepared to buy in small stores should be expected.

[Tracii G]

I don't see why people just give up so easily.
Maybe it wasn't the store that gave you that stuffy feeling.Maybe it was you?
If I get those feelings I go somewhere else and shop.
You don't have to tape to wear panties and why you think that has me confused a little.
Going home to reflect is a good way to say I'm going to go home put all my insecurities and fears to the forefront and wallow in misery.
Most outings are nothing awe inspiring just normal and rather mundane so I'm not sure what you were expecting.
Keep going out please don't give up on yourself.

[Adriana Moretti]

I will add to Traci's list of maybes ( i dont know i wasnt there )


I know when I was first experimenting with dressing I had on days, and off days, meaning some days I was into it, others not so much, maybe it was one of those OFF days, but since it possibly was the ONLY day you had free time you went for it and gave it a go, everyone has experienced days like that too.


I wouldnt give up on it just yet though, but do what makes YOU happy and YOU comfortable.

Finding shoes in our sizes that are stylish is no easy task, I have been shopping for weeks looking for the perfect pair of caged ankle booties and open toe heels, I still havent found anything I like, but to me the hunt is half the fun.

[Tracy Irving]

Definitely don't give up on something that makes you happy. As Howard Jones sang it, many years ago, "things can only get better."

[Dana44]

April, there has been good information here. But don't give up so easily. Yeah we all have bad days and most of the time they are good days. The good days outweigh the bad days. Also go to the stores you feel comfortable in. Some stores do feel stuffy and when you feel that way go to another store. Your money is as good as anybodies and you will find that the SA's are pretty good. Always go out with a good attitude.

[AprilR]

Yeah I guess the other day was just one of those days. After thinking it over for awhile though I might try out smaller stores around the city. For right now i might feel a little more comfertable going to them. As for the gaff it was the first time I used it in public. It felt fine but Im thinking if i want a more natural feeling when wearing panties or something like legging than maybe taping my crotch up will be a better solution.

[Lana Mae]

April, like Ilene says get back on that horse and ride baby!! Do not let one episode ruin everything! Pull up the big girl panties and move onward and upward!! Hugs Lana Mae