Fear of getting caught vs "the thrill"

[ster]

I've been crossdressing in my own apartment for about 10 years now, nobody knows and I'd like to keep it that way.
Crossdressing for me is more for the sexual thrill than anything else, and I have found that thrill even more exiting when in public.
If I'm to wear any womens clothes in public, I wear clothes that I can cover with my normal male clothes (thong, corset, bra, fake nails etc...), but I still
get the sexual excitement of wearing it even though nobody can see it. My desire right now is to wear high heels outside, but the fear of being seen, let
alone caught, is tipping the scale heavily. I'm currently looking for a place where I can wear them with little to no chance of being seen.
I live alone in an apartment with really bad sound proofing, so I can't wear high heels inside due to noise issues. I live in a small city, which makes the case a
little more concerning. My worst fear is getting caught, and worse by someone I know. I work in retail, so I'm around a lot of people from my own town
for about 8 hours every day. Not planning being recognized the next day at work...

Although this is a very specific situation, has anyone else had similar experiences?

[Tracii G]

If you go outside you will be seen so there is no getting around that. You may not see them but somebody will see you.
What is your main fear of being caught?

[Teresa]

Ster,
You really must work on coming to terms with it, yes many of us have been through that stage but there comes a time when you have to think where am I going with this, why do I want to continue dressing when the sexual component has died down ? That rush has gone but you still enjoy what the clothes bring out in you.

That's when you realise your needs are greater than the fear of people finding out, so if you are seen buying women's clothes, you may not be the only CDer at work what does it really matter.

[dolovewell]

I remember when I first got my first pair of breast forms and wanted to try on new bras at Victoria's Secret with them. In male mode. So I was presenting male, wearing male clothes, but wearing a bra with my forms in them.

I clearly freaked out the sales associate at VS who greeted me once she realized I was a guy wearing a bra with forms. I could tell by her facial expression and body language. I felt like a jerk and left the store without trying anything on.

It was at this point where I realized that I am not doing the community any good by doing such a thing presenting male. I am not being a good ambassador. So from that point on I said if wear any female clothes out in public I will be fully presenting female, or I won't go out at all.

[rachelatshop]

No one will ever see Rach in the outside unless she is dressed as a classy lady and can be the best representative of the cross dressing community out there

[Krisi]

Why not just go to another town or city a hundred miles or so from home? You probably won't be seen by anyone you know.

Now if you do a good enough job presenting as a woman, it's unlikely that anyone will recognize you even in your own town once you get away from your neighborhood.

[Jenny22]

Welcome to the forum, Ster. Ask for advice or help here and you will get it. You don't have to wear high heels to be out. That's not a good idea anyway unless you are well practiced.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ster:hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home.

What ever questions that you have there is a 99.875% chance that one
or more members will have an answer for you.

It sounds like you need some carpeting to keep the sound of hi heels...:daydreaming:...

[Karmen]

I don't wear female clothes for sexual thrill, but otherwise I'm in very similar situation like you.
I go out fully dressed only at night and choose to walk around in areas that are relatively safe and not very populated at night during working days. That way is less likley I'll stumble on someone I know and if I see people approaching me, I can avoid them. Even if you go past someone you know, they probably won't recognize you in low light. Just change your appearance as much as you can (fully dressed with wig, makeup and glasses) and wear something that won't attract too much attention (longer skirt or pants in dark colours). If you wear high heels, choose something normal, not something a stripper would use. Always change clothes in your car, if you can't exit or enter your home without a risk of getting caught by a neighbor.
It's still a thrill and you can get caught, but the risk of beeing caught is much lower than going out dressed in male clothes and wearing high heels.

At home, lay a thick carpet in rooms where you would walk in heels. Or buy high heels with rubber outsole. Wedges with rubber outsole are even better. That way you can still wear heels, but they won't make that recognizable sound of sharp plastic heel when you walk.

[Beverley Sims]

No thrill in getting caught, get out and about a bit and gain some outdoor experience.