Have you found an accepting church?

[Elsie GG]

On a recent thread, I was asked what church I attended, that would welcome the gay, lesbian, and transgender community.

For those of you who are looking for a church that is accepting of the GLAD community, do a search for ONA churches on the web. ONA is the term used for Open and Affirming. These are churches that have acknowledged that they welcome the rich and poor, people of color, young and old, and members of the gay, lesbian and transgender community, etc. If they want to publicize their open beliefs, they can submit their church's name to a central organization that as a church, the members have publicly acknowledged that they accept members of the gay, lesbian and transgender community.

I am a member of the United Church of Christ (UCC). This is the church that had an ad on TV last year that showed a bouncer - and said, "we don't have bouncers at our doors - all are welcome to attend, where ever they are in their spiritual journey". Since UCC churches are more grass roots - some individual churches are more welcoming than others - you would need to attend and check them out. Also - I understand that West coast churches are often more open and affirming than east coast churches. The current publicity theme is "God is Still Speaking".

If you want to find a church that accepts and affirms a CDer as they are, as I said you can look on line for ONA churches, or you can go to the yellow pages and call the minister of the church to see if they accept and affirm all who attend. There could be a lot of rejection - but it may help you discover that there are churches that do welcome this crowd. If you are out and willing to do so, visit a church and check it out for acceptance. You will be able to tell immediately if you want to return.

Dian has not gone public to any of our friends in our community, which means she has not stepped out of the closet to members of the church. If we were to take this step, our first move would be to talk to our minister to make sure that he could ease the transition and not cause too much of a commotion at the first outing. They have known my husband for about 8 years, and it would be an awakening if Dian were to just walk in some Sunday.

For those of you who are searching in this area - peace be with you and good luck.

[Joanie B]

On a recent thread, I was asked what church I attended, that would welcome the gay, lesbian, and transgender community.

I am a member of the United Church of Christ (UCC). This is the church that had an ad on TV last year that showed a bouncer - and said, "we don't have bouncers at our doors - all are welcome to attend, where ever they are in their spiritual journey". Since UCC churches are more grass roots - some individual churches are more welcoming than others - you would need to attend and check them out.


Dian has not gone public to any of our friends in our community, which means she has not stepped out of the closet to members of the church. If we were to take this step, our first move would be to talk to our minister to make sure that he could ease the transition and not cause too much of a commotion at the first outing. They have known my husband for about 8 years, and it would be an awakening if Dian were to just walk in some Sunday.

For those of you who are searching in this area - peace be with you and good luck.

Hi,
I am not out yet in my community either, but I do go out in public to shop or go to clubs en femme.

I talked to the senior pastor at the local UCC church, which has some Gays and lesbians attending. He said there would probably not be any rejection there, but that some would be uneasy if I came en femme because they don't know how to act. I go there not because I intend to go en femme, but because some other churches would be upset just TO EVEN KNOW that I dress, much less come to church that way...sigh

I have, however, been to an MCC (Metropolitan Community Church) crossdressed, with no problems. Of course, they are more open about the GLBT community in all ways. There is even another TG there, who is full time who made me feel welcomed even more.

Hugs,
Joanie

[Cathy Anderson]

First, understand that I believe I am fairly nonjudgmental in this subject.

But if we're talking about CDs here (and not transexuals), then I don't see why it should usually be difficult for a person to dress drab for an hour or so every week to attend services.

There's a lot to be said for not offending the sensibilities of others--even when others may have wrong sensibilities in a matter.

I believe a main consideration concerning dress at services (and this goes back as far as St. Paul saying women should wear hats) is to not dress in ways that potentially distract.

Even if one is a fulltime crossdresser, one could put on some slacks, skip makeup, and otherwise present a fairly "androgynous" appearance.

Again, this isn't a criticism--I'm just mentioning some alternatives.

Or maybe you weren't talking about attire at all.

Cathy

[Butterfly Bill]

I was a member of the Unity Church of Lawrence, Kansas for 6 years, and got to wear all my finest fancy dresses as easily as any of the women. I even got up on the chancel to perform music many times. This was a sanctuary where you would see lesbian couples sitting with arms draped over shoulders during services.

Unfortunately, the one in Muskogee was ultimately not as accepting, but the nonacceptance was only from one woman, but she had been a member of that church since its founding in the 1950s, so I couldn't go up against that even tho I had several other members on my side.

I have been in three other Unity churches in other towns in a dress, as well as several Unitarian/Universalist ones. There is a beautiful UU iin Tulsa, but it's a 100 mile round trip to there, too much for intimate involvement in a church (meaning you're there on Wednesday nights and Saturday mornings and other times as well).

There is a GLBT-friendly church in Muskogee that hosts our PFLAG meetings, but the trouble is: it's an Episcopal church and I have trouble relating to their extremely formalized rituals (think: Catholic in most all appearances and rituals, but not allegiant to the Pope (or his prououncements on homosexuality)).

[Sage GG]

I believe a main consideration concerning dress at services (and this goes back as far as St. Paul saying women should wear hats) is to not dress in ways that potentially distract


St Paul said for woman to wear hats?
Where did you read this or learn about this? I'm just curious

[Jodi]

I agree with Bill about the Unitarian church generally being very accepting of all. Our Erie Sisters group meets at the Unitarian Church in Erie, and has so for 15 years. In January, at our meeting, the church pastor and the Christian Ed Director were at the church. They both came in and joined us and talked with us for over an hour.

Jodi

[livy_m_b]

I think I could find a church that would accept my appearance, but I'm less sure about one that would accept my singing! :)

[Melanie R]

I sent a letter to Joel Osteen, pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston, the largest church in the US with weekend attendance of 40,000. I told him that I was transgendered and asked if there would be a problem if I attended dressed as a woman. I also said that I would dress appropriately and doubted if anyone who saw me would see anything other than a well dressed, older woman. The reply was short and sweet telling me, Melanie, that all are welcome in God's house and also at Lakewood including you. I have not attended but will soon. I have attended services as Melanie at our church in Houston, the second largest church in the US. Being among 6500 others in the service, no one threw me out of the church. I believe if you dress and act appropriately you will not have a problem

Melanie

[Elsie GG]

Thank you everyone for your replys.
I am pleased to see that there are many individuals who have found the door open at a local church.

Isn't it amazing that when a person is sharing information - that they can learn so much more than they shared. I was particulary interested in Cathy Anderson's comment about willing to stay in drab for an hour. This started me reflecting - why as a GG, would I want Dian to go to church dressed - and realized - it was all about me - "look at me how open and accepting I am" and did not consider Dian's side of the issue.

It also addresses the issue that I have wondered about - and that is if you are a cross-dresser - why don't you necessarily want to dress all the time? There have been other threads reflecting on this. I am learning from Dian that there are times when it is important, and other times when it is not - for her to dress en femme. Because I am comfortable with letting her dress when and how she wants (she allows me to do the same, I can wear pants or a dress any time I want), she can be her/him self at all times.

Thanks again for the great information provided in this thread.