Getting hit on

[njcddresser]

A couple weeks ago, I went out to a Gay Bar that was hosting a CD event. There was about 50 gurls there as well as a mix of gay men / women as well as several straight couples.

After observing the crowd for a bit, it was obvious that there were several guys there that were on the prowl for a CD.

One gentleman came over to me and we chatted for a bit. I do admit that I flirted a bit but nothing over the top. Quickly his hands began to roam which I did my best to stop. At one point, he asked me if I wanted to leave and continue the night some place else. At this point I put an end to the conversation and he moved on.

Several other times, guys came up to me and after chatting for a bit they made offers of a more private nature which I rebuffed.

My questions are: Do you find this to be the norm when out in a club and what techniques do you suggest to put a stop to them.

I will however admit, I did enjoy the attention and a little of the flirting, I just wasn't interested in more.

Hugs,

Jackie ;)

[deebra]

Sounds like you did pretty good getting rid of them. Just say no I'm not interested in that, if you don't stop I'll call the manager and then the police.

[Sophie Yang]

Jackie,

It all depends on the bar and crowd. I just show them my wedding ring and tell them I am happily married. The ones that surprise me occur where I least expect it, like a library or public malls where I am minding my own business.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jackie:hugs:, That is like having your dance card punched...:daydreaming:...

[Krisi]

You have just experienced what it's like for a woman to go to a bar by herself. That's how the bar scene works. It's why women usually go to bars with a date or with a group of other women. Going alone sends a signal that you are available.

[dolovewell]

I've never been hit on, but then again, I have never been out to a place where being hit on would be considered appropriate, like a bar or club.

I do think nonconsensual touching is inappropriate no matter where the setting is, and is not "the norm" at all.

[Ressie]

I'd say if you never get hit on at an event like this - you must not be very attractive. Out of 50 CDs there I'm sure some of them are looking for action, and some guys know this.

[ellbee]

It's why women usually go to bars with a date or with a group of other women.

Yep. I used to do this all the time at LGBT & hetero clubs/bars. Oftentimes with a mixed group, even including gay males who are presenting as guys (strangers don't necessarily know they're gay -- or if they're your date/SO).

Didn't always stop them, but it appeared it can prevent that.

And for the times that it didn't, the old stand-by of bringing up your (fictitious) SO works well for GG's -- and for people like us. :)

[Stephanie47]

Guys usually go fishing where the fish are biting. It would seem to me cross dressers are going to go to a venue where they feel safe and accepted. Then of course, if you're looking for a hookup with a cross dresser, then that's where he's going to go trolling. I'm pretty sure it's that way with men seeking men, women seeking women, and, men seeking women. Unfortunately, men hit on cross dressers at venues one would expect never to be hit upon, such as a grocery store, gas station, etc. I think Krisi is right. Women have been subjected to male behavior forever.

[CONSUELO]

Given the bar and the event I suppose it is not too surprising that you were "hit on". You appear to have handled it well though and I'm glad you are safe.

[Krisi]

In fairness, men are subjected to female behavior as well. That would include things like flirting to get free drinks and such.

If you're going to go to bars, you should expect bar behavior. It's quite different than church behavior or corporate behavior. I worked in bars for years. I've seen a lot.

[Lux]

When I'm dressed and out with my wife I find people very respectful. However when we split up I've been hit on by men (and women) despite having a wedding ring. I've come to the conclusion that many people don't care if you're wearing a wedding ring or not. I can hold my own with advances but I always get bothered when some unknown person touches me physically or grabs my butt as I walk through a crowd. Not flattering at all.

[docrobbysherry]

It's the same as being a GG woman. The prettier, shapelier ones get hit on a lot more!:daydreaming:
If you're avatar is any indicator u should expect a lot of action, Jackie!:devil:

I KNOW a lot of guys check me out from behind because I see them watching in the mirrors on the dance floor. Then, I turn around and their expression changes from an leering smirk to blind terror!:eek:

[Lorileah]

A couple weeks ago, I went out to a Gay Bar that was hosting a CD event.
I will however admit, I did enjoy the attention and a little of the flirting, I just wasn't interested in more.



Honestly- the answer is obvious...CD-Gay Bar-Event=Trolls


Oh and just a hint for the future- Just say "no" unless you really want to go out with a guy