Where are the breaks on this rolercoaster?

[Emma Beth]

Had one interesting day today.

Earlier, I took stock of where I am and here it is so far.

1. Began HRT and sticking with it.
2. Draft petition for legal name change.
3. Draft formal announcement for everyone else in my life. Except for Family, they already know and pretty much have adjusted already. If Mom can adjust, then anyone can.
4. Settle on a timeline for going full time. Aiming for the end of March and hopefully have it coincide with Legal Name Change.
5. Relearn a lot of mannerisms and habits. I've come a long way in this and I feel like I have a long way to go yet.
6. Cultivate, or reestablish, relationships as a woman.
7. Follow my own advice I've been telling my friends for years and get active in the politics and policies in my community. I'm donating some of my free time to Human Rights Campaign as a volunteer.
8. Since everything is excluded from my insurance at work, utilize the resources of HRC to research any and all alternatives to obtaining the assistance I need.
9. Get in touch with local Trans support group or groups.
10. Speak with Human Resources Manager at work about coming out at work and begin setting up a plan to come out at work.
11. Look into getting tested to see to what extent my Intersex condition is.
12. Keep seeing my Therapist.
13. Progress further and further with stepping out as my true self. Went to my last Therapy session in a skirt for the first time and went shopping afterward and out to lunch by myself. Then I attended my Volunteer Interest meeting in a skirt.

(Take a deep breath.)

Putting that down in writing, it doesn't seem like a lot at first. But there are a lot of related little steps for each of those that it boggles my mind sometimes. And to think, probably about 80% of all that has happened in the last three to four months.

After the first of the year, I plan to make my full formal announcement to everyone that I have not come out to in my life yet (Not at work yet until the end of March.), and hopefully I will have my new name and be full time for my next Birthday.

[Rianna Humble]

You seem to have quite a full programme there. It's good you haven't put a precise time-scale on that because it will change.

One question, have you been diagnosed by a medical professional as being intersex?

[Emma Beth]

Yes and no.

They didn't classify what they knew I had wrong as being intersexed back then like it is now. I did discuss it with my Primary Care and it is noted in my file.

I went through two surgeries to "fix" the problem. The first one was when I was in third grade around 1979, and the second was when I was in seventh grade around 1984. The first one was met with partial success. The second one included a graft in an outpatient procedure to correct the problem. The scars from both surgeries are still quite obvious.

I can't help wonder if there was more wrong that they didn't even bother to look for because I seemed to be healthy enough.

As a child, I insisted that there was something wrong with me or I had some kind of birth defect until I gave up telling them that there was something wrong around the age of about nine or ten.

[I Am Paula]

I am impressed. Not being a big list maker, when I decided to transition, I sort of said to myself- Do all that stuff...at once if possible.
Different approach, but somehow I got it to work.

[Emma Beth]

Paula, I'm not a list maker either.

I guess that you could say I'm taking kind of a Zen approach to all this. Take a few steps and see how it goes. Ponder and then take the next step when I'm ready.

Were applicable, set a time table as more of a goal and not something that is set in stone.

I'm only aiming for full time by the end of March because that's around my Birthday. I thought it would be very nice and very special to have the two coincide.