Like I was in a play about Me

[IleneD]

I had a magnificent day/evening yesterday at home during passing in-climate weather.
I dressed in my long blue dress, dolled up a little (not too much makeup) for a rare day to relax around home with the Wife. I know she accepts and tolerates me running about in a dress. We have polite limitations (where/when), but she's never been "enthusiastic" in the least.
But we had a great, comfortable day together. Made dinner. Drank wine. By the evening it wasn't even apparent to me or her that I was dressed in women's clothes.
This morning we were talking (again). She asked about "how I felt" being dressed up last evening. I tried to describe the satisfaction and joy I derived from the clothes. It's all about The Clothes. I related how, in my femme persona, I felt a sense of grace. I was at peace.

And as I continued to grope for a way to describe it, I "stream of consciousness" blurted out " It was like I was in a play about Me." I said it without much thought. It just erupted from the (sub?)conscious. I wasn't even sure what it meant but it seems to make a bit of sense.

Have any of you, when attempting to understand how and WHY crossdressing makes you feel the way it does, ever thought of yourself PLAYING A ROLE, maybe even in your own "play". ?

269280 ME IN THE INSPIRING DRESS (above)

[Lana Mae]

Ilene, what a lovely dress! Yes I have felt like I was role playing for a while then I realized no, this is your life!! I have accepted that Lana Mae is my feminine side and is just my feminine side and is really me! OK, it is hard to express! There is only one me with two aspects-one is Harry the other Lana Mae-one male and the other female! And no I do not feel like a female only feminine. OK now that I totally confused everyone...Hugs Lana Mae

[Anne K]

Not playing a role, but being what I am supposed to be. Does that make sense? Incertainly do feel the peace you mentioned.

[DrFabulous0]

To be honest I think I felt more like I was playing a role before I embraced me female persona. Now I feel more like myself in both my roles.

[SarahSerene]

Hi Ilene! Hmmm... your post really makes me think. In fact I sometimes over-think about my situation when I really should state the obvious (kind of an Occam's Razor moment). Get to the point Sarah :)

For me, I often notice I feel like an actor in a play in my male life... ooh I should share this conversation with my therapist :raisedeyebrow:

[bridget thronton]

It is an interesting thought

[Teresa]

ILene,
Like me you have denied and hidden for a long time, when we're given a chance to explain the femme side of us, our brain is still sensing that confusion, I'm a guy talking about a female part of me, it is almost like an out of body experience until the two come into balance.

To me it's satisfying an inner need , it just feels right to express those feelings. The reality does catch you out sometimes, it's turning cooler here in the UK, so lighting the woodburner takes on a slightly different feeling when you step out to fetch the fuel and feel the cold breeze where you're not use to feeling it !

[sometimes_miss]

The play is called my life, and I play the role of a normal guy. AFAIK, no one else knows that I'm just acting a part whenever I'm with them. Like an undercover cop, or a secret agent, I immerse myself into my part as 'standard issue male'. And get better at it the longer I practice. But it's all just an act.

[Taylor186]

As RuPaul famously said, "We're born naked, and the rest is drag."

[Tracy Irving]

I don't see myself in a play. When I dress it just feels right, like I am wearing what I should be. If that makes any sense...

[IleneD]

Teresa:
You have a lovely perspective as someone who has experienced it too.
Thanks. Snuggle up to fire dear. Enjoy.
v/r
Ilene


ILene,
Like me you have denied and hidden for a long time, when we're given a chance to explain the femme side of us, our brain is still sensing that confusion, I'm a guy talking about a female part of me, it is almost like an out of body experience until the two come into balance.

To me it's satisfying an inner need , it just feels right to express those feelings. The reality does catch you out sometimes, it's turning cooler here in the UK, so lighting the woodburner takes on a slightly different feeling when you step out to fetch the fuel and feel the cold breeze where you're not use to feeling it !

[Lucy23]

Honestly, no, I have never felt that way. For me, dressing is being me, an extension of my personality. When in a dress or full attire, I wouldn't describe it as it just feels right; more like it feels good.

And btw, you look good and happy in that dress :)

[IleneD]

You know, I always felt that way too. I was Ilene and Ilene was me. My Femme Side was Me. I never even had a female name for my "other side". ILENE was a construct in order to have a Forum name. (Frankly, I've come to appreciate and enjoy "Ilene" as a form of CD shorthand). Never even thought of my Femme Side as another person or identity (living inside me?). I always knew my female persona as my Male Name.
That's why it caught me by surprise when I blurted out the thought about being in a play. Yes, I'm me. I feel good as me.




Honestly, no, I have never felt that way. For me, dressing is being me, an extension of my personality. When in a dress or full attire, I wouldn't describe it as it just feels right; more like it feels good.

And btw, you look good and happy in that dress :)

[Lucy23]

You know, I always felt that way too. I was Ilene and Ilene was me. My Femme Side was Me.
Oh, well then, it seems I may have misinterpreted something here :) my bad.

[JocelynJames]

It's how I first described it-I was playing a roll and wanted to do
The best job I could( my excuse for shaving,tucking,makeup wig etc. at times I run memory movies with me dressed up and if the outcomes would have been different.

[Valery L]

I think that I can relate with you. Sometimes, I feel that I am in a play about you.

[Kiwi]

I am an actor, so I know what it is like to be in a play. And, in my opinion, it is easier to play a character than to do real life.

[Karen RHT]

A truly interesting analogy Ilene. So much so, I'm still thinking about it. Thanks for sharing.


Karen

[Periwinkle]

I don't just get that way en femme. Whenever I'm in an outfit I really enjoy, I get more theatrical and animated. Maybe it's from the confidence boost?? Who knows. XP

[Acastina]

...

For me, I often notice I feel like an actor in a play in my male life...

Bingo! I spent most of my formative years reading behaviors all around me and pretending without feeling it inside. I used to call it The Mask.

Still do sometimes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ilene:hugs:, Oh yea, every time that I open the closet door I am an actor getting ready to go on stage for a great performance...:daydreaming:...