What came first, the.........

[Princess Chantal]

What came first:
A) the sharing of your crossdressing with your SO, family, or friends

Or

B) walking out the front door and into the eyes of the public.

If "B" was your answer, do you feel regret for sharing your crossdressing with total strangers before sharing with the people that have a place in your life?

[Rachael Leigh]

A. For me as I told her early on, I was not fully involved into my dressing at the time but I did share with her my enjoyment
of wearing panties

[Lana Mae]

My wife passed away before I really started dressing. When I started, I discussed it with my daughter and she did not want to see daddy in a dress. Actually seeing me dressed would be Jennifer and Holly at my transformation and other than pics here no one else yet!! Oh, my daughter had to see the pics and really has not commented! Hugs Lana Mae

[ellbee]

Does the "sharing" have to be intentional? :D

Because everyone in my immediate family found out at various points even as early as my pre-pubescent years. :laughing:

[NancySue]

Definitely A came first. I, with much trepidation told her before we got married. Best thing I ever did. She wasn't all that surprised (female ESP or did I tip off ?) she is now totally supportive. B...yes, I go out both enfemme and underneath. Because of local issues, I've never told anyone of my dressing...a total social disaster. I'm happy with my supportive wife and my wardrobe.

[Princess Chantal]

Yes for this thread it has to be intentionally shared on both cases. I would like to read the posts of where the person had the choice whether to share first with people in their life or with strangers. Would be a great to see someone set up the similar question but being found out on different terms.

[Teresa]

Chantal,
I don't share my CDing with the family but they all know, that came before going out the door to meet other members of the TG community.

My family don't wish to share my CDing so I have to do it with strangers who have now become friends. I do regret I can't share it with my wife but it's not stopping the enjoyment I now get from it.

[Diane Smith]

Definitely "B" for me. I was out and about for years and never told my mom, with whom I shared the house. (No SO, though.) Only a couple of my male mode friends know about it, but I also have a whole separate group of people who know me only en femme.

- Diane

[redtea]

B, But it was so mild that it doesn't really count as a true "outing" (full outfit with makeup/wig) I have done skinny jeans, jeggings, yoga shorts. One night i went outside in jeans and a womens shirt with panties and a bra. It feels like walking into the mouth of a sleeping shark. I may have looked fairly normal as a male, but in my mind i was super weird. I can't even begin to imagine how high I would feel from trying to pass in public.

I think A will come first in the context of B being a true outing wearing a full outfit,

[Natasha V]

A definitely, boutique owner who was very helpful and supportive. My spouse was second very supportive and them talked to my mom who sent me into a turmoil with her idea tha I needed a mental Doctor then it just became a dadt situation. No interest in revisiting that situation. I'm at peace.

[IleneD]

It's Door A for me.
In fact, it may have opened the door. I believe since "The Coming Out", I've only become more emboldened.

[Connie D50]

A for me first shared then went out. In fact first time out was with the person I shared with :-).

[abby054]

B. SO and what few family members who have expressed their opinions reject the idea firmly even without knowing that it applies to me. Why ask for an opinion when their policy is well known?

Most, if not all, strangers are too busy with their own lives to be concerned with this part of mine. This I know well from experience.

[Pat]

Going out came first for me. The way I see it, I had to discover the person I was before I had information to share. But even so, it took years before I shared it with my family for all the usual guilt and self-loathing reasons. It was only after I saw "her" in the mirror and realized I needed to bring her out that I started getting serious and it was only after getting serious that I felt I should tell anyone. Now I pretty much tell everyone. ;)

I'm very sympathetic to closeted people because I lived that way and remember it clearly. I totally back the message that out is better, but I understand the fear.

[JustJoni]

A for me, although so far I have only shared with my wife (she was still my fiance when I told her). We went out once since then but it was on our honeymoon, so while it was out, it was with complete strangers we are unlikely to ever meet again.

[Jackie7]

A before b for me, eons ago.

[DIANEF]

I'm afraid it's B for me, I've just started venturing out, first steps so no contact with anyone yet. Not the ideal situation but that's how things have worked out. My wife will find out eventually, that is if she doesn't already know....

[CarlaWestin]

None of the above. I had to first share my CDing with myself after trying to figure out why I had all of those thoughts and desires in my head. I had to get Me to accept it first. And, that was really tough. Self doubt, shame, multiple purges, useless therapy. And along the way there were the failed attempts at gaining acceptance from SO's. Ex wife pretended to get it to build up divorce data. In-betweener was more accepting but, it just didn't work out. Wife, DADT and IDWTSI. So none of these were ideal. Daughter, total acceptance. Public? Well, I really don't care what the public thinks as long as I'm not harassed. So, where's the most acceptance? Well, It's right here in cyberspace. Maybe someday I'll climb out of my comfort zone and meet some of y'all in person.

[Nikki A.]

(A) for me, I told me fiance so that there were no surprises. Part of our agreement was that I kept it at home (other than Halloween). Since she passed away, I have and still do go out as Nikki. I attend church, do some shopping and other normal things dressed.

[Christie ann]

I guess A, when I told my parents that I would like to be their daughter instead of their son and they told me that I needed help because I had a sickness...so I hid everything. And, in the 70's when I told my fiancé about wearing women's clothes but couldn't answer why I wanted to. She wasn't all that happy but back then I thought I could power through and not do it any more. Now, all these years later I know the truth.

[Elizabeth G]

It's B for me. My wife only found out recently and we are currently working our way through that. I do regret not sharing with her sooner but I hadn't dressed for years when we met and I thought I was "over it".

[Rachelakld]

B - if I wasn't confident with being a female in public, then I would have just continued being a man.

[Becky Blue]

B for me, but my first steps out were with 2 other Tfriends, so they were the first to share Bec's first outing, but within minutes we were talking past dozens of people, none of which I am glad to say knew me.

I have no regrets whatsoever If I could travel in time, I would do the same again.

[Jane G]

B for me. My parents did not except my crossdress. So during my school years I crossdress more out of the house. A combination of joining the Navy, growing too tall for a girl and getting married to a beautiful women, meant I took my crossdress largely off the streets and now share it more with just my wife.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Chantal:hugs:, Only my wonderful:love:Wife has known about my dressing for almost 53years now...:daydreaming:...

[April Showers]

Mostly B with some A for me. I was sneaking out the house and going for walks fully dressed with full makeup at age 16. My mom saw me dressed as a girl on several occasions when I was in my teens (she bought me my first wig ) and still has a picture of me from then. Told my wife just after we got married ( after we had been to a Drag Show ) The rest of my family have seen pictures of me dressed up mostly Halloween shots, never talked about it with them but I think if you dress up more than a few times for Halloween they might have an inkling that you might have a passing interest in dressing. Most of our married life was spent raising a daughter who is quadriplegic and needed care 24/7 so dressing was something I did whenever I could grab the time. Now our daughter and son are no longer living at home my wife and I are starting to go out to Girls Night out events in our area and making friends with other girls and their wives. My wife has embraced April even more after going to our first event. The old saying " better late than never " really is true in our case and we intend to make the most of it while we can.

[TrishaTX]

B for me a long time....

[Beverley Sims]

No regrets, the life I was leading was well away from family and close friends.

Yes, my wife found out before we got married.

[JenniferMBlack]

For me B. At 14 didn't feel anyone would understand it. No I don't regret it.

[Allison2006]

Unless you count going out on Halloween dressed fem a time or two, then it's A for me. My wife is the only person I'm out to.

[Dana44]

It was always an A for me. But went through so many relationships that went sour because of my gender fluid state. Now on my current SO it was A before we ever went out. Now she goes with me everywhere.

[Aunt Kelly]

A for me as well. I could not have gone out the door without her support and guidance.

[Adriana Moretti]

B for sure.....and I have no regrets LOL...seriously though..I am completely "out" to everyone now, but there was/is a time and a place for everything....slowly I let those close to me know as I became more comfortable with myself, and my situation. I took the time to explore this world by myself before making any decisions, I attended support groups, and transgender conferences to learn all I could about what was going on with me to make sure I knew what was going on and also to learn of others situations...when all my ducks were finally lined up in a row and had the experience, confidence and knowledge that THIS was EXACTLY my TRUE identity, then it was time to let mom know