Going out - an informal survey

[Kandi Robbins]

So I am curious. Personally, I have been going out for only two years now and have found it so much easier than I ever imagined and have been well received wherever I have gone. I could never have imagined it would be such a wonderful and life-affirming experience each and every time I do so.

How many of you have ventured out for the first time within the past year or so?

How many of you have experienced and/or realized that the world is more accepting than our imaginations/anxieties would have us believe?

I know there is still ugliness out there, I know and understand all the life issues, relationship issues, etc.. Nothing is easy in life, but I cannot tell you how wonderful I feel when I do get out. Wish I didn't take so long to accept who I am and understand how much fun this is!

What about you?

[Teresa]

Kandi,
I asked a related question a while ago and the majority of replies ( 57% ) were happily out, less would like to be out and only 6 replied saying they were happy in the closet.

I have been going out since January , I admit it's to meet socially at a hotel rather than dressed to shop but we still meet other guests at the hotel . Next week at the Xmas party we will be mixing with other parties so that will be interesting, I don't feel nervous at all, it just feels natural . It hasn't been easy to achieve in a DADT situation even so I do enjoy it and I've told my wife that.

[CourtneyJamieson]

Hi Kandi, Like you I just started going out about 1 year ago. I was soooo afraid to take the first steps. I started slow and did the usual. Walked around parking lots, pumped gas, etc. Then I ventured into the mall and met people face-to-face. And I found that nobody seemed to notice or to care that I was CD. So, like you said, that was very affirming and a big boost to the confidence. In only a years time I went from being afraid to be spotted to now going out regularly to the mall and to restaurants and to clubs. I now shop and try-on clothes while en Fem. And the most fun I ever have is going to a club and dancing in 4"heels. And, like you, I have not had any negative experiences. (So Far). I am sure I will at some point but so-far-so-good. I still get anxious when I go out. But in a good way. But the pleasure I get from being out in public while dressed is better than I could have imagined and my acceptance, so far, has exceeded expectations.

[DIANEF]

I'm new to going out, after some late night then daytime drives took the plunge and left the safety zone of my car. Just a few quick walk arounds with few people about, but so far no real problems. No reactions off anyone, as far as I can tell so where next.... I know its second nature for some and I have a long way to go but I do gain a little extra confidence with each outing.

[April Showers]

My wife and I went out for the first time to a GNO Halloween party and we had a blast. Now that was fairly easy as all we had to do was park the car and go right into the bar and it was dark out and Halloween so I wasn't that nervous. We are going to the GNO Christmas party on Saturday and have been invited by one of the girls from this forum to come up to their room for a cocktail and chat before going down to the Christmas party. This will mean we have to walk across the hotel lobby and take the elevator up to their floor. I keep telling my wife I don't think I'm ready for that but she says I can do it. Guess we will find out on Saturday. I know one thing for sure I don't think I could ever go back to just dressing at home. It is such a wonderful feeling being able to go out and do things that you always wanted to do. I know that first step out the door is daunting but once you have both feet out the door you will amazed at how good it feels.

[ellbee]

I first went out like 20 years ago. I'd say it was probably a bit tougher back then.


There are some amazing supporters out there. Just as there are some real buttheads, LOL.

And everything in-between.


Despite some personal incidents, the positive stuff more than made up for that. :)

[Aunt Kelly]

April,
Go to that party and turn their heads, girl. I mean get after it with that in mind. I know it's a big ask, but I'm pretty sure that if you can get your head into that place, where you're looking to make an impression instead of just blending in, you'll have a lot more fun. Impression, not spectacle, of course, but make sure they know that they were the ones lucky enough to be at the same party as you.

Laurababe,
You and me both, it was just about twenty years ago for me.

The first time out in honest-to-gawd public, and the only time anyone has ever pointed and snickered, it was a couple of the performers at a drag show in Las Vegas. They clocked me from the stage, and me three rows beyond the footlights. The rest of the night was a picnic, by comparison. Spent an hour or so in the casino after the show playing slots and enjoying free drinks and the warm smiles from the cocktail waitresses. The combination was enough to relax me just enough to meet the occasional wide-eyed stare head on with a big smile. Flamboyant is not my thing, but I will never be mistaken for six foot tall GG, so the thing for me is to just own it and enjoy myself.

Now, I must confess that age and the changes in shape that accompany it, and the cultural shock of moving to Houston a few years ago did put a damper on things. Not sure why, but it seems like Kelly Marie has had enough of being the homebody, so we're looking for places to go and things to do. Of course that means new clothes, and shoes, and a makeover. Hmmm... Maybe I should go through this cycle more often... :)

[EffyJaspers]

I go to school three days a week and I wear leggings/yoga pants, panties, and sometimes a bra. No one cares as far as I know. But since I don't have boobs I try to hide the bra even when I wear it (I wear it to try and hide that I am wearing it, lol). You asked recently and I started wearing the leggings after Trump won the election, sort of as a bet against myself.
I'd like to try tops, but I don't have any and as seen from above I ain't up to leaps and bounds.

[Rachael Leigh]

Kandi I too have experienced very positive outcomes over the last two years I've been out. Most people are quite friendly once I interact with them and seem mostly genuine. I usually get called the proper pronoun and I think most just feel if this
how I am then they seem ok with me.

I live in what most would consider a very conservative area of the US and so yes it has been a very pleasant surprise to me
that it's been this way. I just enjoy it so much

[jjjjohanne]

I have been going out for a few years now. Maybe I don't care any more and I am not looking, but in the last couple years, people seem to be less surprised to see me. I don't see people whispering to their companions to hurry up and take a look.

[TrishaLake]

I have ventured out more and more in the past two years and I totally agree, we have made great strides. I used to not want to be seen at all, not I don't care. I have never been worried about violence but never liked the crazy looks.

[TheHiddenMe]

About 10 years ago I went dressed to a TG party, but I got nervous after about 20 minutes and left.

Over the next eight years I did the occasional out of town dress up and walk around where there were no people.

Then two Halloweens ago I got dressed and walked around a popular area for about 45 minutes.

Last year was my first real time out in San Francisco. I had a Sephora makeover and about a day and a half being out and about (mostly stores and lunch at the Cheesecake Factory). On Halloween I dressed, went to Dress Barn, a Shoe store, ULTA (bought a lipstick after trying it on), and then a walk around a different area for about an hour).

This year in October I had four days out and about locally (I've written about it on here). Yesterday I went back to the same mall, and I'm planning to go tomorrow.

So my outings for the most part have been within the last two years. My experiences have been positive; very positive in some cases.

After roughly 50 years of dreaming about going out dressed, to actually do it is a bit of a tightrope walk but a fun one.

[Alice_2014_B]

I've been out en femme about seven times solo (once was to do stand-up comedy, that was my first time interacting with strangers) and twice out with the wife. Second time out with her I actually interacted with SA's, that was Halloween, so it made the night rather easier than normal.

People in general, depending upon the area, can be very accepting.

Like many things, if it were real easy, everyone would be doing it.
And at the same time, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

All my outings have been within the last three years.

:)

[Becky Blue]

Not sure if this is helping your survey. I have been out over 25 times in 5 cities in 2 countries. Twice in 2016. Its the most awesome experience, whether its: shopping, a quiet dinner out, a loud dinner out, clubbing, bar hopping, a tea party (not the political one, in a big group or just with one friend...

[Ceera]

My first time going to a public place en-femme was about a year and a half ago - July 2014. I was in my mid-50's, and recently widowed. I was both terrified and elated. Terrified to be taking that step, and elated with how well it went. I started with going out at night to a nearby gay nightclub, to dance and socialize. I had already developed a passable voice, and learned a lot that year about doing better makeup, and buying better wigs. As the year edged on into fall I was leaving for the nightclub while it was still daylight, and eventually making small stops on the way home, like dashing into a fast food place for some fries on the way home, or into a grocery store to get milk on the way home - all late at night. Slowly building my confidence.

In Feb of 2015 I dared an early Saturday morning daylight visit to a wig shop in a quiet strip mall, and bought a fairly good wig. In July of 2015, I got female glasses - went in as a male, but in addition to my male frames I got a second pair with feminine frames, and admitted to the optician that they were for me, and why. Even showed her a picture of me en-femme, and she complemented me on how great I looked as a lady! In August of 2015, I took the plunge and went to a huge mall for half a day, fully en-femme, shopped, got a makeover, and dined in a restaurant with my daughter. It was so wonderful and self-affirming to be accepted by everyone I encountered!

Later that month, I attended the Pride festival in that town, and held my head high as I walked past a group of 'religious ranters' who screamed bad things at everyone heading for the event. I managed to keep my composure and act decently as I passed them, despite their accusations and suppositions. I was happy to see that within the event, there were many more religious groups who all welcomed and accepted us.

That night, I went to a completely straight bar and music venue for the first time, to attend a performance and dance featuring a lesbian band I had seen at the nightclub. I got to meet the band members and made friends with them. In the following months I started going out at night to all sorts of public music venues, to hear those musicians and friends of their perform, and I gained a much wider circle of friends. It was wonderful, and before long, I wasn't limiting my outings to night time at all.

Of course there are still many who won't accept us, and who will judge us for how we look or what we do. But I have been pleasantly surprised by the overall level of acceptance.

In January of this year, I got my ears pierced, and I've been wearing earrings 24x7 since then. I also got my nails done, and have had pretty nails even in male mode since then. So far, the ONLY person to make any comments that were at all negative about either my pierced ears or my painted nails was my sister, who looked questioningly and commented on how 'feminine' my nails were, and that she noticed I had pierced my ears. Circumstances prevented me from having 'the talk' with her then, but her reaction really hadn't been terribly adverse, and I think she will accept me once we do have that conversation. But every other person who has seen my painted nails has complemented me on how great they look! No bad reactions at all from them about a guy having red or blue or even glittery silver nails, in a feminine length and shape! And when I got new glasses this year, I did the exam and the full purchase process en-femme!

Christmas with my sister and other relatives this year may be interesting, with my earrings and nails visible in male mode. But I won't let that stop me!

[Sarah Louise]

I've been out three times. The first time was about eight months ago. I went shopping and despite having no problems, I lost my nerve after 20 minutes.

But in October I went to a cross dressing event and just last week ventured to the shops again. Both times, I had no issues of lack of acceptance. In fact, for the shopping trip, I think I blended in quite well and hardly anyone clocked me.

[IleneD]

Kandi, dear:
You have struck the perfect nerve. In sum, I've been taking my interest in women's clothing seriously for only about the last 6 months or so. The long journey to the point of buying my first dress is another story. But in this time I've "come out" to The Wife (of 39 yrs), expanded the wardrobe and become quite brazen in "living the dream"; with good and almost disastrous consequences.

I love going out dressed. Maybe it's the old audacious pilot in me, but I've experienced a joyful exhilaration each time I dressed up and went out into The World. And mind you. This 6'3"/215 lb frame (taller in heels) will always attract attention if it's wearing a dress. Even if I was a natural GG, that tall would stand out. So I accept that. Make myself as pretty as I feel and GO.

The first real time was my long fall bike adventure trip. I dressed at the various B&B's on the trail. I went out one evening to dinner (alone) fully dressed except for my wig (which I didn't wish to abuse backpacking). I wore a very nice silk headscarf. My waitress was fantastic. She was not completely at ease until I broke the silence over the obvious (yes dear, I'm a man in a dress). After that she took care of my like royalty. Bought my wine. Poured out heart heart over her LGBT friends, etc.

I was also well received by the breakfast cook at another B&B I stayed. I was the only soul present. I believe I surprised the poor woman knocking along the hardwood floors in heels to the dining room, only to see a tall man in a dress and makeup. She, a retired teacher making extra $$ on the side as a cook, taking care of grandchildren. She whipped up a great soufflee and fruit cup, and we enjoyed the morning showing photos of grandkids.

The rest of that trip went great (except the night I locked myself out of my lodging while I was in a dress and heels).

I ventured into The World last Oct to have a makeover at ULTA. A fantastic and encouraging experience. I'm dying to go back.

I dressed up (in my favorite and "hottest" green dress) and strolled a mall and a dept store. The SA's in Macy's made me out relatively soon. As soon as one came over to check out the Very Tall Lady, I bet I was approached 4 more times. I made it around the jewelry counter and the make up counter with ease, and even engaged one of the artists (in my male voice, as I was obviously a cross dressed male IN GOOD MAKEUP, BTW) for a short discussion. She did indeed crack a smile, but a kind one.

The best place "dressed" I went was to the local Colorado "dispensary" [if you know what I mean]. The women at the front counter know me in my "rugged" male athlete (but kind of weird guy) form, and they love me. What a hoot it was when I walked in dressed in my green skirt, lace top, heels ... the works. We had such a laugh and fun about it. Now she knows I'm crazy. They both thought I looked great AND mastered walking in my heels like a Jedi.

The S.O. isn't too keen about the "going out" business. I've told her about a couple times. She wasn't with me and she's stated she has no interest in going out WITH me while I'm dressed in my Lady Clothes. Yet I am quite attracted to the notion of going out. Don't know why. Maybe it's the (safe) danger of it. The audacity alone is alluring. Maybe it's the "secret identity" part of trying to mingle in the Normal World. Or maybe it's just the damn pleasure of letting go of your psyche, feeling good and having to confidence to just go out into The World as YOU, and truly not give a ratzazz about what they think.

[AnnaMarie]

How many of you have ventured out for the first time within the past year or so?

How many of you have experienced and/or realized that the world is more accepting than our imaginations/anxieties would have us believe?

What about you?
I think the first time as around this time last year. Stayed in a hotel and my first experience was getting in a lift with six other people, fully dressed and either no one noticed or they just didn't care. I've been out about nine or ten times since and no one really cares. You get the 'odd' comment, but I've done nights out, coffee shops, walks in the park, shopping centres, meals out. I'd love to do more but for personal reasons I can't. What I have done this year is make some amazing new friends!

[SarahSerene]

How many of you have ventured out for the first time within the past year or so?

How many of you have experienced and/or realized that the world is more accepting than our imaginations/anxieties would have us believe?

What about you?

Kandi I went out one time about 8 years ago. It went fine and felt great, but I did not feel that good about my presentation. So I consider my real actual going out start to have occurred about four years ago (not coincidentally, also when I joined the forums here!) Also, since my first time I think there are a lot more online resources (makeup videos, etc) so I feel I have refined my presentation.

Since I started going out four years ago, I can only think of one, maybe two negative experiences? And they weren't so negative that they affected my desire to go out - by that time in my presentation I think I had developed the confidence to shrug them off. Fast forward to today, and all my public interactions have ranged from either non-issues to absolutely wonderful!

[sara66]

I went out for the first time in September. Not even a side glance. I went in to a couple of store and even a drive thru. The SAs didn't even flinch, they treated my like any other lady. The only person who seemed to even look twice was an older lady who came up to me and said "lookin good classy lady. I really don't think 99.99% even care or notice. After the first hour, I experienced a peacefulness & calm like I had never had before. I was so happy with that experience, i went out last Monday. Hoping there are more opportunities. Get out and have fun!!! :daydreaming:
Sara

[Stephanie Julianna]

I guess my answer will be more for comparing now and then. I first went out in public in 1980 in NYC. I got involved with the crossdressing community in NYC for the next 20 years enjoying clubbing in and around the city. During that time I perfected my look so that I could pass day or night and mix withe the general public. I can tell you that these are the best time for us. On the rare occasion that I raise a question with store or restaurant staff I have always been treated with respect and courtesy. Acting and presenting yourself in a stylish and mainstream manner that tries to honor women and their femininty goes a long way in getting the acceptance we all desire. Go for it. The time has never been better in most parts of the country.

[nonameyet1234]

The only time I've been out was this past Halloween. I really liked it and would like to go out again, but I really don't have any interest in just doing day to day things. I'd much prefer to make it a night out, specifically in a friendly bar/club. Someday soon I will hopefully get an opportunity to do so.

[Krisi]

How many of you have experienced and/or realized that the world is more accepting than our imaginations/anxieties would have us believe?

I have been out several times but not lately. I try to avoid testing the "more accepting" theory. The last time I went out I was in an outdoor mall that was closing. I was walking and a middle aged woman came walking towards me. I thought I was dressed pretty well and appropriately for the time and place. She looked at me and made a disgusting face. That hurt my feelings and I went back home.

I don't think "the world is more accepting than our imaginations/anxieties would have us believe". Perhaps there is less chance of being openly hassled or assaulted but people still believe crossdressers are mentally ill and should stay in their own homes.

[Judith96a]

I people still believe crossdressers are mentally ill and should stay in their own homes.

Some people probably, possibly even 'many people' believe this but... I recently attended a show in the Midlands of England en femme. The clientele was at least 90% male. In fact I suspect that the vast majority of the GGs in the hall were working on stands (booths for our US cousins) or serving food. The lady on the ticket desk took my money, chatted about the weather and gave me my ticket. She even smiled. She didn't give me the impression that she believed that I was mentally ill and needed to stay at home. Yes, I did get some looks but I also got into conversation admiring the work on some of the displays and the customary apologies when someone strays into your path while you're attempting to take a photo. I was probably the only person in the place who was wearing a skirt and yet I did not sense any hostility whatsoever, amusement or bemusement possibly but not hostility.
I then went shopping and had nothing but positive interactions with the various SAs whom I encountered.

Here's the point. We note, time and again, that it's very much in a SA's interest to remain at least civil - we're customer's like anyone else and our money will do as nicely as anyone else's. I think that we all understand this in theory at least. Experiencing it is a different matter. But, because our expectation is that SAs will be moderately accepting (or at least maintain the appearance of being so), citing the experience that they have been is tending to lose its impact.
However, the 50+ male visitor to a model engineering show has no such vested interest. He gains nothing by refraining from laughing at / snarling at / openly ridiculing me (I don't pass close inspection) and yet that's precisely what several hundred such men did. They were much more interested in the various things that they had come to see than in my attire. They effectively ignored how I was dressed. That is not the behavior that I would expect if they all thought that I was "mentally ill and should stay at home".

[Helen_Highwater]

I started going out to public spaces where I'd encounter muggles probably 5-6 years ago. It was only 3 years ago that I first walked into a store. Genie out of the bottle, no turning back now. My situation dictates I only get to get out and about for any length of time once or if lucky, twice a year.

My last extended time enfemme was just a matter of weeks ago. I went out every day for a week, accumulating many many hours CD'ing in public. In all that time one of a group of 3 teenage girls sat in a cafe I was in say loud enough for me to hear, "That's a man". Well spotted I thought. Again sitting this time in a Subway sandwich shop a very young boy asked his mom, "Is that a man" and funnily enough as I was leaving a cafe a middle aged GG blurted out with utter surprise on her face "OOOH look" to her friends sat with her. I looked at her and just smiled, stayed calm and carried on.

It goes with the turf. I know I don't pass close inspection. I feel however I blend in a crowd. As others have described I had many positive experiences with SA's. I engaged in conversation with individual muggles. Went to the cinema, traveled by train, bus and taxi. dined in a restaurant. Went to 2 group meetings and spent time drinking with others in a pub. Sat in a Boots the chemist store and had one of the beauticians give me a mini makeover spending 20 + minutes for all to see. Never felt threatened, 99% were, if they did clock me, respectful and went on about their business. In the time I spent enfemme I must have encountered literally 1000's of people. If out of that number 3 see fit to comment so be it. I'll take those odds.

I'd known some years back going out to public places in daylight was something I'd have to do. I wasn't going to get to my last days on earth and wish, if only. I've experience much in my CD'ing journey and I hope to experience more. All I can say to those looking to find the courage to go out is your fear is real, I felt the same. The reality of the situation however is that the fear is hugely over imagined.

[Cheryl James]

I am out in that I will shop, dine out, run errands, etc. I am in no way out in the way that you (Kandi) are. You (others, too) are an inspiration to me. Kandi has a real life. I don't know that I will get there. I hope!

[Sheren Kelly]

Most people know through my postings that I get out semi-regularly (usually on my own, I seldom go out in large groups). Generally I attend LGBTQ events, but more recently I have been getting out in the general public (with plenty of prodding from Kandi). I like attending lectures and cultural events and have not had a bad experience. Living near Washington DC, I have access to the Smithsonian and many other interesting venues (Universities etc) that are all welcoming.

[IleneD]

Stephanie, dear;

This is the first I'm seeing your postings on this site.
This I must share. I absolutely marvel at your maturity and perspective on loving and honoring women. That resonates.
Your mind is in a good place.
Thanks. Learning more every day I come here. [Love your look, BTW. more 'maturity' showing.]

[Cassandra*]

I've been going out the past year a few times to the mall etc. My most recent was a vacation to northern Michigan in full dress from start to finish. Stayed at a nice B&B. It was the best vaca. I've ever had. Kisses

[Teresa]

As I mentioned the majority of members here answered they do go out, I probably fall into the category as many others of it happening later in life . I will continue to do it and hopefully enjoy it more and more because I don't know how long that window will be open to me. I have surprised myself possibly as much as anyone of how good it is possible to look, I know it's not the criteria , it's how you feel inside and those feelings being satisfied .

Maybe I still can't say for certain if transition might happen but I'm beginning to think that the general public are becoming more accepting because they may think we are at some point along that road and are just being supportive. If that's true then the TG community is heading in the right direction as far as understanding and acceptance is concerned. I accept that maybe that's not what some of our wives/ partners wish to hear .

[Kandi Robbins]

Generally I attend LGBTQ events, but more recently I have been getting out in the general public (with plenty of prodding from Kandi).

Hey now! Don't blame me!! JK, you literally made me laugh out loud. How sweet.

I'm a bit overwhelmed by this response. Today is the second birthday of Kandi, two years ago today I told my wife and with her acceptance (boy am I blessed), Kandi was born. My whole mission in life has become my trying to get out there and change minds one at a time. That is the only way it works. Once we become less of an unusual occurrence in people's lives, then we can continue being accepted.

Today was my first day as a volunteer at The Cleveland Museum of Art, a world renowned museum. They hold a monthly party and I was one of the hostesses (OK, I stopped people from walking through a roped off area, but I like to think of myself as a hostess). I interacted with many people and, as usual, no one gave me any grief.

I am so proud of myself. I never stop marveling about how wonderful my experience have been.

So here I am a few hours ago......

[Phoebe Reece]

My first time out in public crossdressed was way back in the early 1970's. For many years my forays into public were pretty infrequent. But, since I retired 12 years ago I get out on a pretty regular basis. Since 2004, I am out and about an average of about 4 days out of every month. Sometimes I am by myself. Sometimes I am with one or two other crossdressers. And sometimes I am with groups of 20 or more. I am comfortable in all those situations. I go anywhere an ordinary woman would go and I enjoy engaging ordinary people in conversation. Many people simply don't care whether you are a crossdresser or not and even more simply are too involved with whatever they are doing to even notice. And those that do notice are mostly accepting. It has been my experience that the vast majority of people I encounter that recognize I am a crossdresser and not a cis-woman, still interact with me as if I was a real woman.

I crossdress and go out to have fun. If it stops being fun for me, I'll probably just quit doing it.

Here's a photo of me outside a restaurant that another CD and I had just finished having lunch in yesterday:
269609

[Majella St Gerard]

In my opinion people don't see me as a crossdresser but as a trans woman and so they are more accepting of it.

[ReineD]

My SO has been going out for years and his experience matches yours. If someone reads him (which they do when she speaks), they don't let on. They respect my SO's presentation ... for the most part. We have had a few unpleasant experiences with teenagers saying rude things, and I've caught some SAs snickering together behind my SO's back, and I've seen young kids at chain restaurants all poking their heads out from the back, presumably after one member of staff had told them there was "one of those" at a table. But, these experiences are far from the norm. And at the places we go to regularly, the staff has gotten used to us. :)

[Teresa]

Majella,
Maybe your bathroom debate has done some good in bringing the TG community more into the open, I'm beginning to think the general public do regard us as on the TS road. I also feel that many are of the opinion CDers only stay at home to dress and don't have a need to be out, so they are respecting the ones that are out as something they need to do rather something they're doing it for amusement .

[Kandi Robbins]

They respect my SO's presentation ... for the most part.

BINGO! Our presentation means everything. If we take that seriously, then we will (usually) be taken seriously also. Appropriate is the key word. Appropriate for your age, your size/body type, the situation, etc... At least that has been my personal experience.

[Jeri Ann]

Lauri K, forum girl from Houston, and I met in person for the first time the day before yesterday. We are currently spending an amazing long weekend together. We have been all over North Houston with absolutely no issues. Out for drinks, several places for lunch, dinner, shopping, you name it. We have been well received every where we go. Life if good. Be brave. Go out. Live!
Jeri

[karynspanties]

Once you quit worrying about what others may say or think, you will find that it is VERY easy to go out. Before I ventured out fully enfemme I would under dress (still do that) and would worry if my cami or bra straps were visible under my shirt. Now I just do not care what others think. No problem now either in drab with some lace showing or visible straps or out fully as Karyn.

[Karen RHT]

It was about two years ago I took those first tentative steps out into the real world as well. Went to Toronto for a makeover, then a bit farther east to buy a wig. Fabulous day that demonstrated "they" really don't notice, but if they do, don't make an issue of it. Just felt "right" to be dressed as I was, being out and about, going about my business.

Although I returned home determined to get out on a frequent basis, life took a turn (won't bore you with details) that keeps me from doing that. Time will come when I'll be able to come and go as I please, dressed as I please.


Karen

[phili]

I've been out and about shopping, museums, etc., every couple of weeks for the past couple of months, and have the same benign experiences as everyone else!

Moral of the story is that it doesn't matter if you go as 'man in a dress' more explicitly, like I do- since we are men in dresses, and everyone gets that. It is something that used to be a taboo, and only a small conservative group are outraged and fearful, a few are disgusted, quite a few are a bit disconcerted if it is their first time, but most are tolerant, and courteous, if not friendly.

To the degree we try to emulate female appearance, people will have cursory judgments about how well we do, but IMHO the background is that everyone also understands that women have a terrible time trying to look beautiful/like idealized women as well. So they are sympathetic as well as judgmental. The most common comment to me is a friendly appraisal of my success from a woman- 'That skirt looks great on you-" and the like. The special times for me are seeing broad surprised and warm smiles on young women who are relieved that at least one man understands the trials and tribulations of choosing women's wear!

Mature women appear to me to have a more weary acceptance, as they are over the excitement, and can understand both the benefits and hassles of dressing in women's wear, and trying to present a look!

The young men at the tech counter are a bit stiff, and I think that is complicated for them because I am also 'old', but after a split second of orientation there is nothing to do but chat about the features on my phone or whatever. I feel good every time I come home after being out, since people have either confirmed their own generous spirit with me, or have been exposed to the reality of gender diversity in a safe and real present moment way, or have understood something important about themselves. A few teens/college freshmen have snickered, but when I just look at them directly in a friendly way they collect themselves. They meant no harm. I haven't met anyone who was hostile, but there must be a few, who will later feel the sting of their own contempt and have to work hard to justify it.

I love the fact that young women often smile broadly and with relief that I will understand a lot more about their lives than many of the men who ogle them. Mature women have a weary acceptance, as they know the good and bad of it all, and if I want to try to enjoy the good, why not?

I encourage everyone to go out as much as possible, and don't worry about being read as a man- just own your look- if you go as I do, or with expertly crafted makeup and add-on boobs, as we are explicitly saying that being feminine is desirable and a generous society makes room for everyone to enjoy it!

[Krisi]

phili, I see you are in San Francisco. I could tell a bunch of San Francisco jokes but I'll pass. My point is, San Francisco is known as a place where pretty much anything goes. Most of the USA is not as liberal and not as accepting of different lifestyles as your city.

In many parts of the country, walking around one's hometown in a dress with no attempt to pass as a woman or conceal one's identity would be career suicide. The person would also be invited to leave his church and not come back. His family would be shunned, children would not be allowed to play with his children, etc.

I'm not saying that's how it should be but I am saying that's how it is. We have to think carefully before we do things that we can't take back. We have to think of our futures and our loved ones.

It's great that your situation allows you the freedom to do anything you want to. Most of us don't have that freedom.

[DMichele]

Encouraged by this forum, my usual weekend attire (albeit slacks, jeans and tops) is from the ladies department to which I add jewelry, light makeup, nail polish and carry a handbag. My travels include malls, markets, etc. I have had some knowing smiles from females at the checkout, but strive to interact with all in hopes of showing the world that transgendered people are OK.

As I identify as bi-gendered, I venture out sans wig. I have been encouraged by weekend experiences and look to continue to build on my presentations.

Ladies, thanks for being here and sharing a part of you. You give me hope.

[Heidi Stevens]

If you are actually recording reply results, Kandi, you know my history personally. In the past five years I've ramped up from going to get gas or to the post office dressed to going anywhere I want. In the past two years since I figured out I am transgender, I don't let any place stop me. I've been in large, dense crowds like the State Fair or historical building tours. I take road trips en femme and do all from meals to lodging as Heidi. I go to any store or restaurant that I want. In other words, I just do my thing like I do when I'm in male mode.

[CarlaWestin]

I'm thinking it's a transcendence from trying to look so passable that no one suspects that you're a male, the ultimate pass, to an appreciation of a male that wants to emulate an appearance of beauty that has been societally reserved only for genetic females. I so long for someone that I interact with on a daily basis as Charley to see me and say, "Oh my! You're beautiful!" So I can just smile and say, "Thank you. Could you please call me Carla?" Yes, we can dream.

[Meghan4now]

Hey Kandi, my sister from another mister!

Yeah you and I started to hit the road about the same time. I don't go out even a fraction of what you do, but my home situation is a little more restrictive than yours. Other than avoiding places "too" close to home, I think I've done ok. So far shopping has been great, and women treat me really well, even if I'm in drab looking for women's items. Not saying that they totally accept me, or don't smirk later, but so far nothing but positive treatment. I try to get out once a month or two.

Pretty good considering the area in cincy where I live is fairly conservative.

[ellbee]

My first time out in public crossdressed was way back in the early 1970's.

Have you noticed any shifts of acceptance/rejection from the general public during these past several decades?

Easier at one time than another? Any kind of trends?


All kinds of variables, to be sure. But just looking for overall general sense. Thanks! :)

[Michelle Crossfire]

Well, since meeting you, hard to believe it has been 2 years already, i have seen myself getting out more. Still reserved on the personal interaction with others. Still trying to meet others to be able to do stuff with. Slowly but surely, venturing into other arenas other than the GNO, such as shopping during daylight hours. Have already been to places like Burlington, Sears, JCPenney and the like. Just recently made my first purchase that required interaction with someone else (detailed in another post). The time i spent at Keystone was certainly helpful. I am realizing that for the most part, people don't care, and that actually applies to others aspects of life (most people tend not to care outside of their own lives and activities from what i have observed), Still somewhat apprehensive however when out in public, just because of the ugliness you mention. I wish I had not taken so long either, but sometimes, you simply don't have a choice, you have to bide your time. At least i have a supportive wife who is great who helps and encourages.

[Phoebe Reece]

Yes, I have noticed that as the decades have passed, the general public has become a lot less surprised at seeing a crossdresser out and about. It has been a very gradual thing. In the 70's going out was mostly at Halloween, Mardi Gras, or to meetings at various hotels and other "safe" venues. Now you can go out to pretty much any mainstream place without fear of harassment. With more of us in public view it has become not quite "normal", but certainly is no longer a big deal to encounter a crossdresser just about anywhere. I would have to say that I believe general acceptance (or at least tolerance) of us is at an all time high right now.

[Sallee]

Its way easier than you first think, Its loads of fun,its free too. the worst part is no one really cares or notices Oh yes don't forget addicting

[Maria Darkspace]

I originally thought I'd never leave the house dressed. But lately, I've felt the urge to go out as Maria. Tonight, I took the plunge. I only drove into town to drop off my utility bill, but it was a real rush. At first, I was scared. Kept thinking what if I get pulled over, or worse, get in an accident. Or even worse, seen by one of my daughters. I drive a one of a kind customized F-150. Once I was in town, I felt great! I can honestly say, I will be venturing out more. My next step beyond driving around will probably be finding an outing of other crossdressers in one of the larger cities nearby, (I live in a small town). Maria Darlov (Facebook wouldn't accept Darkspace) is finding her place in this world. I would love to meet other CDs or join a group that goes out for dinner and drinks. I'm 52 years old. 100% straight. I live in the Atlanta area.

[StefaniLara]

I've been slowly going out, first to drive around town, then to a gay bar. Finally, back in August, I took the plunge and took a roadtrip to OKC, a four hour drive, and spent the whole trip en femme. It was at once nerve wracking and exhilarating! I've gone to Dallas a couple of months ago, though I couldn't spend the whole time dressed, I went with a friend to the Arboretum and then went shopping. This past week I went to the movies here in town, not stressing that someone I know might see me. It gets easier every time I go out.

[Jeri Ann]

I would have to say that I believe general acceptance (or at least tolerance) of us is at an all time high right now.[/QUOTE]

I agree with Phoebe, for the most part people just don't care. In the last three days Lauri K and I have been dozens of places with nothing but friendly acceptance. Yesterday I was a little nervous about one place I needed to go. We were Christmas shopping and I needed some gifts for my son in law. He is a hunter so we went to Academy Sports and Outdoors in the testosterone section. I had expressed my concern about it to Lauri so she made it a point to hold back and watch for any reactions from people. Zilch, nada, it was just as enjoyable as every other place else we went. Life is as good as you make it.
Jeri
By the way, there will be a post with pictures about our amazing experiences.

[Kandi Robbins]

Again, thank you all for your input. This is my attempt at reading the temperature out there and to see if my experiences are typical. I think they are.

I'm currently in a 36 hour Kandi-thon, four different outfits in three days, first volunteering for the Cleveland Museum of Art and then selling raffle tickets in the Cleveland Playhouse Square district for the chorus I volunteer for. Yes, both are artsy places (generally more accepting) and yes, the chorus is a gay men's chorus, but you would think I was a mascot at a ballgame. But instead of kids hugging the mascot, the women coming to the show are just eating me alive and my alter ego's ego is growing by the minute! I'm getting hugged out and leaving my red lipstick prints on many a cheek. Pictures and stories will be posted soon. But I am experiencing my biggest issue, with three close shaves in three days my face looks like I went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson.

Get out there ladies!!

[April Showers]

I said in an earlier post to this thread that last night would be the second time that my wife and I would be going out.We were going to a GNO Christmas party and I told kandi I would tell her how things went.

So yesterday started out with me being completely excited and terrified about the evening. Managed to get dressed and made up with lots of time to spare also got to swap out my stud earnings for some large Gold hoops for the first time (God I love pierced ears ) 20 minute drive to the hotel half way there realize I left my wallet at home in my jeans turn back and race home with the wife telling me to slow down, the last thing we need is you getting pulled over dressed like that with no ID. I said it's ok April can pay for her own speeding tickets. Made it back to hotel only 10 minutes late.

We had arranged to meet Giselle and her wife for a drink and a chat before going down to the GNO Christmas party. (ever had that dream about being trapped in an elevator with a bunch of strangers that's what was going on in my head and the hope they were on the first floor.... no such luck they told us they were on the 9th floor ) This meant we would have to enter the hotel lobby and take the elevator up to their room. When we arrived at the hotel we had to park out in the open right in front of a Timmy's ( Canada.s favorite coffee shop) So we park the car and we stroll over to the hotel entrance past people coming in and out of the coffee shop, past parked taxi cab"s and a police cruiser( I think it's a law in Canada that there has to be at least one police car parked at a donut shop, don't know the reason for said law but the police seem to take that law pretty seriously ) and make our way into the lobby of the hotel, smile at the girl at reception and over to the elevators. Wow that was easy no one around so into the elevator press 9.....no 9th floor just PH, are they in a penthouse ? back out to reception just to make sure. Yes that's where they are.Back to the elevator, younger couple there waiting to go up. Smile, they smile back, into the elevator we go. On the way up the male said I like your shoes. I squeak out a thank you, they get off before us and we continued on up to the Penthouses.

Spent an hour or so with Giselle and her wife having a couple of drinks and chatting. Everyone was getting hungry so we went down to the Restaurant and had dinner a couple of other girls came in and sat with us for a chat while we were eating.Needed to go to the little girls room so off i trot. There's a GG walking towards the Ladies so I decide discretion is the better part of valor and I'd use the men's washroom, peek into the men's there's a man at a urinal. I look back to the Ladies and the girl is looking at me and holding the door open so I ended up using the Ladies bathroom for the rest of the night, only ran into one other GG who just smiled at me fixing my hair at the mirror. The rest of the night went too fast we chatted with some of the girls in the bar at the party then went back up to Giselle's for a night cap before driving home.

When we got home had a long talk about where we were headed with this, discussed where i thought i was on the gender scale and what that meant for the future. Still don't know the answer to that one but right now I'm just happy that I get to share and explore April's world with a wonderful lady by my side and to have friends like Giselle and her wife to make the journey fun and interesting. Now, got to go search for a new dress for the Valentines dance in February.

[Jenny22]

"How many of you have ventured out for the first time within the past year or so?"

Me in full pretty: 3 drive thru food windows (girl's laugh, my first time, as I drove away, one (a guy) a thank you, ma'am and one girl, "have fun, beautiful"), several walks in parking lots, one walk by store fronts at a strip center, a to-from drive to southern Nevada (met AMY at Glamour Boutique ..we did photos), morning outdoor coffee with a forum sister and to a supermarket afterwards. See my post, baby steps to a giant leap. All in full femme!!

None of this would have ever happened had it not been for encouragements of doing so in our great forum, AND for the mentoring and "you can do it, girl" of a wonderful forum sister (we are going to have a girls night out dinner, soon!!).

Nervous? Only at the first drive thru window. The other times it just felt so natural, though I did not have any real interaction with the normals. When that eventually happens, I'll just try to be my girl self, with chin up, boobs sorta out in front, and a big smile for those that need one.

[HollyGreene]

I used to go out a lot about 30 years ago. I was very slim and had a very androgynous face at the time, so with makeup, I looked very convincing.
Then my situation changed and I didn't go out for many years. I started going out occasionally again about 4 years ago, but not very often. There was another break of about a year, and then I started again about 2 years ago. However, I think I was as nervous as the first time I went out. It seems having an extended break just kills my confidence. Now I am much older and have gained weight, I look a lot less feminine, so it takes a lot more effort to get my makeup right before I go out.

[abby054]

My first time dressed, I went out. It was a Halloween event as a kid. I have been going out often since. These days it is usually a performance (theater, movie, etc.), tourist stuff, shopping, or dining. I avoid doing anything that I am not familiar with in drab.

[Staci Roberts]

Went out today. First to the mall, then to Lowes and a few other stops. Dressed in a black and white houndstooth skirt, black tights and a black cardigan with moderate heels. Honestly, had a few double takes (I am on the taller side...) but nothing unusual or odd!
As long as you are confident, shoulders back, and smile...no worries!

[Samantha2015]

As you know Kandi my first public outings were this year at SCC and I had a great time. I'm still very hesitant to
go anywhere on my own however. That is the next hurdle for me.
I like the whole safety in numbers idea, not sure I could have done what I have so far by myself.
You continue to be an inspiration for me !!

[Adriana Moretti]

I will admit, normally I am a happy go lucky, go anywhere kind of gal, I still am, however with the state of things in this country I am just a little bit more aware of my surroundings right now. In NYC alone this week, 3 Muslim women were attacked, all seperate occasions. Granted it is oil and water, but is it really ?

[Phoebe Reece]

To give you another idea about the level of acceptance in my area.... There's a shooting range that I have been going to for a number of years. The staff there know me fairly well. Thursdays are "ladies day" and they do not charge a range fee for any ladies there the entire day. If I show up there dressed as Phoebe on a Thursday I don't have to pay a range fee, even though they all know I am a crossdresser. I even offered to pay one Thursday when I was dressed as Phoebe and they wouldn't take the money. The manager told me that if I come there dressed as a woman, I will be treated as one. The same goes for my other crossdressing friends. If I show up there in "bubba mode", I am just another guy and pay the regular fees. It could be that this policy came about because the owners are a couple of genetic females. In any case it's a policy I like.

[Steph54]

Hello. I'm 62 and have been dressing since about 5. It is definitely more acceptable now thanks to the open mindedness of millenials. I've lived in England, Germany and currently San Antonio Tx. I walk around dressed in slacks, heels and blouse with my bald head and male features on display almost everyday. Never heard a bad word but have received plenty of compliments.

[Kandi Robbins]

as long as you are confident, shoulders back, and smile...no worries!

Bingo!!!



I will admit, normally I am a happy go lucky, go anywhere kind of gal, I still am, however with the state of things in this country I am just a little bit more aware of my surroundings right now. In NYC alone this week, 3 Muslim women were attacked, all seperate occasions. Granted it is oil and water, but is it really ?

Never let "them" win! Obviously, we always need to be smart, but that goes for all of us. We have to live our lives.

[Dana44]

Yeah I go out with my sidekick many times. It is so nice to be out there female. But sometimes wonder if the stuff going on in this country does make me more aware of my surroundings.

[Valery L]

Sorry for my late response to the thread, I think it is an interesting topic.

I started to go out in April of this year, so I am one of those who can say yes to your first question.

For the second question. I think I have realized that, even when I already had high expectations about it when I decided to go out, otherwise maybe I could not start to do it. However, I realized that during my first outings. I don't know what I was thinking in my first outing in which I went to a store walking a long way and from there I went to my apartment, I did it one day in which I was underdressed, I had a little of eyeliner and a little of foundation. My makeup skills were terrible and my appearance was completely masculine. After buying some clothes, basically a denim minidress and female sneakers I just changed clothes and did it (no wig and I had short hair). Nobody seemed to care, I was androgynous at most, clearly a guy in a dress and nothing happened, my second and third time were a little better but I did not have a wig, I went to the mall in the third one and I had a makeover, and again, nothing happened, so yeah, maybe the world is more accepting than I expected, or maybe it is just people here in Ames, I do not know.

After buying my first wig, more clothes, more makeup, and learning more about how to apply it, everything become a lot easier. I really love going out, it is terribly addicting for me, I feel bad when I don't do it. In less than a year I think I have significantly improved in my presentation, I do not know if I can pass or not, I wish I can, but as long as people treat me well I am just fine. I have been in bars, the church, in the campus (computer labs, the library, food court, etc...), in the mall, in supermarkets, restaurants, almost every activity that I normally did as a guy. I have interacted with SA's, waitresses, random people, a couple of girl friends, and even a guy who wanted to take me to a motel, and at least in my experience, I have never received a bad comment or something like that. Today, going out is a very important part of my life.

[Tracii G]

Well said Valery.

[SharonDenise]

I'm in a crossdresser support group and a transgender support group. I drive to their meetings dressed enfemme without worry. We have dinners and activities at major hotels where I no longer have any nervousness about attending. I buy clothes at the local Dressbarn dressed endrab but use their dressing rooms with only minor anxiety. However, I would still like to dress enfemme and spend a day shopping and dining out as such. I have not had the courage yet to do so.

[joanna4]

I've had really good experiences when I go out, whether to the mall or the club. I've been treated kindly by sales associates and other customers and sometimes I feel like flying under the radar. Yes, there will always be stares and looks but that's part of it and that only happens occasionally.

[Eva Bella]

I've been going out since May, and I can't believe how easy and pleasant it has become. I don't even give it a second thought.

I've been to incredibly public places: Times Square, The Grove Mall in LA, the Apple Store, Nordstroms, etc. I have yet to get a negative reaction. A lot of people are really and honestly delighted. Some don't care. There's a smirk or a look of confusion here or there.

Now.. I have to quality.. I don't go out alone. I'm always with at least one and often several other t-girls or crossedressers. And I wouldn't say that I'm passable. I don't have a femme voice and I've got a pretty muscular build. I also tend to overdress with heels and nylons when all of the GG's are wearing leggings and sneakers. But it's not about trying to be a girl.. it's about trying to be myself. And if I'm comfortable and confident, then people around me are relaxed. What I'm doing is unusual, but not alarming. It's been really great.

[Charlotte1971]

The first time I went out when I went to philadelphia for training. I did'nt intend to, I was dressing in my hotel room with a dress and a wig I just bought and had a strong urge to walk out of my room. Next day i'm walking around walmart and several beauty stores as a woman. Looking back, that was a snapping point for me.

[Abbie965]

Kandi, dear:
You have struck the perfect nerve. In sum, I've been taking my interest in women's clothing seriously for only about the last 6 months or so. The long journey to the point of buying my first dress is another story. But in this time I've "come out" to The Wife (of 39 yrs), expanded the wardrobe and become quite brazen in "living the dream"; with good and almost disastrous consequences.

I love going out dressed. Maybe it's the old audacious pilot in me, but I've experienced a joyful exhilaration each time I dressed up and went out into The World. And mind you. This 6'3"/215 lb frame (taller in heels) will always attract attention if it's wearing a dress. Even if I was a natural GG, that tall would stand out. So I accept that. Make myself as pretty as I feel and GO.

The first real time was my long fall bike adventure trip. I dressed at the various B&B's on the trail. I went out one evening to dinner (alone) fully dressed except for my wig (which I didn't wish to abuse backpacking). I wore a very nice silk headscarf. My waitress was fantastic. She was not completely at ease until I broke the silence over the obvious (yes dear, I'm a man in a dress). After that she took care of my like royalty. Bought my wine. Poured out heart heart over her LGBT friends, etc.

I was also well received by the breakfast cook at another B&B I stayed. I was the only soul present. I believe I surprised the poor woman knocking along the hardwood floors in heels to the dining room, only to see a tall man in a dress and makeup. She, a retired teacher making extra $$ on the side as a cook, taking care of grandchildren. She whipped up a great soufflee and fruit cup, and we enjoyed the morning showing photos of grandkids.

The rest of that trip went great (except the night I locked myself out of my lodging while I was in a dress and heels).

I ventured into The World last Oct to have a makeover at ULTA. A fantastic and encouraging experience. I'm dying to go back.

I dressed up (in my favorite and "hottest" green dress) and strolled a mall and a dept store. The SA's in Macy's made me out relatively soon. As soon as one came over to check out the Very Tall Lady, I bet I was approached 4 more times. I made it around the jewelry counter and the make up counter with ease, and even engaged one of the artists (in my male voice, as I was obviously a cross dressed male IN GOOD MAKEUP, BTW) for a short discussion. She did indeed crack a smile, but a kind one.

The best place "dressed" I went was to the local Colorado "dispensary" [if you know what I mean]. The women at the front counter know me in my "rugged" male athlete (but kind of weird guy) form, and they love me. What a hoot it was when I walked in dressed in my green skirt, lace top, heels ... the works. We had such a laugh and fun about it. Now she knows I'm crazy. They both thought I looked great AND mastered walking in my heels like a Jedi.

The S.O. isn't too keen about the "going out" business. I've told her about a couple times. She wasn't with me and she's stated she has no interest in going out WITH me while I'm dressed in my Lady Clothes. Yet I am quite attracted to the notion of going out. Don't know why. Maybe it's the (safe) danger of it. The audacity alone is alluring. Maybe it's the "secret identity" part of trying to mingle in the Normal World. Or maybe it's just the damn pleasure of letting go of your psyche, feeling good and having to confidence to just go out into The World as YOU, and truly not give a ratzazz about what they think.

I love reading positive experiences. This particular post is so inspiring.

I've been out many times, malls, strip malls, Sephoria, Clubs, even checked in to hotels, all as Abbie. I've had a few stares, and looks, but nothing that made me uncomfortable. One time, I was at a Outlet Mall, walking from the car to a Dress Barn, when a lady with her young child (10ish) just asked if she could take my picture. This was one of the first times out as Abbie in a shopping environment, so I was a bit shocked, and politely responded that I would prefer that she did not, I then walked over to her, sat down beside he on the bench outside the store, and began talking to her. She told me she wanted to show her son that everyone should be their own person, and have the courage to be and act as they wanted. She was very complimentary of me. When I asked her what caught her eye, she said it was the Wig. Once back in the car, I called a Wig shop in a town close to where I lived, and made an appt to buy a more "custom" wig that evening.

I still get extremely nervous, and for the last year or so I've been unable to go out much, but I am back to making an effort for Abbie. This post, and the overall thread, which is amazing, has just really inspired me.

[Helen Waite]

I'll have to be the pebble in the shoe and say that I have not (other than one short late night drive), and cannot go out dressed because my wife would blow a gasket. My situation is DADT, keep it hidden, and don't talk about it. And that's progress from how it was previously. I desperately want to step out and be free, but not without her acceptance.

[PattiL]

I've driven dressed but have never 'gone out' per se. Driving dressed is pretty straightforward - you put on a wig, sunglasses, forms, and the clothes. I've been amazed at how few people really look over.

I've found a fantastic, encouraging makeup artist who has offered to go out for coffee with me or a bite to eat after she's done working her magic. She's made me up twice now and I've been very happy with the results. I think the next time she works on me I'm going to take her up on her offer.

[sara.rafaela]

I have been going out for about 5 years now. However, I began with gay and alternative places. It has only been about 2 years that I have been venturing out in the general public. I found this almost as scary as my first trips out. Certain things scared me: taking a taxi or Uber, public transportation, walking through a busy lobby, parking and then walking a block to the site... No morel. I have to say that my outings have been positive. Once, on the the street, I heard college guys say, "Hey, that's a guy!". Another time, in a bridge and tunnel bar I got strange looks from the bartender and was ignored by the people inside. Other than that, it has been wonderful. In general, the shop staff have been nice to me. The people inside the bars and clubs have treated me like any normal person.

[Jeri Ann]

I am looking forward to another four day outing experience the week after Christmas. This stint, like the one I did two weeks ago, is total emersion, full blown girl mode. I will be meeting Lauri K again and staying with her. Hopefully I can also meet another forum girl from north Texas toward the end of the week. When we go out, every place we go will be mainstream. It is so much more fun with a girl friend.

Jeri

[Julie MA]

My first time in public was Halloween, dressed as a combo of the Church Lady, Mrs Doubtfire, and Norman Bates' mother. It was fun, but not the CD experience I longed for.

20 years later, again at Halloween, I dressed trashy at an all mens, clothing optional campground in NH, called Mountainside. What a great bunch of men, and a great place to experiment with my CD. They were fine with it on several occasions after that. I even drove an hour, dressed, to their, and stopped to fill up my truck with gas. Got a long stare from a woman in the car next to me. Jealous, probably.

Ok, finally getting to the recent CD point. I went out in Provincetown MA a few weeks ago. Has to be the best place I can imagine for CDing. Had a wonderful evening, and even got some compliments, one from a reportedly straight man. I behaved well for the most part, but do remember "toasting my buns" in front of a roaring fire. I love short dresses and skirts.

Want to get out more, but probably only in PTown. Still afraid of being recognized.