The Catalog that outed me.

[redtea]

I started my journey in 2011 february when i boldly ordered my first 3 pairs of panties from amazon- brief, thong, and hipster all black all from LEONISA.

fast forward to today December 3 2016 almost 6 years from my first purchase and LEONISA SENT ME A CATALOG.

I get home from work, and i get a "oh redtea this was in the mail for you, there's some nice stuff in there, it had your name on it"


Mom and her guy friend caught me- Well I don't know how caught I really am so i just remained silent and took the catalog for research purposes.



It's probably going to be forgotten about tomorrow and the DADT I have always assumed existed will continue until I openly talk about it.


Moral of the story, Don't buy panties on the internet unless you are prepared to have a catalog show up randomly years later.

[lisalove]

Years ago I used to get my packages sent to my work, because i lived in a not so great neighborhood and had a fenced yard so the mailman wouldn't leave packages on the front porch.
After awhile I started getting catalogues delivered to my work. I never ordered from any of them, but somehow I got on their mailing lists. Yes I know how I got on them.
I had to try and explain away why I was getting Victoria's Secret, Coldwater Creek, and I don't know how many other women's catalogues.
I doubt any of my answers were being believed, nor did I care.
The girls in the office had fun at my expense, teasing me, every time a new catalogue came in. I know it was all in fun.

[Lana Mae]

Redtea, do not know if you order your clothes on line or not, but do not order from Woman Within! They use pink bags with Woman Within in large white letters! Just thought I would warn you! Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

Don't make a big deal out of it and it will be forgotten.
My heating and air repair guy saw my Chico's catalog and a few bottles of nail polish on the kitchen table as I was writing a check for the repairs.
He said I thought you lived alone but it looks like you have a lady friend now.
I said nope I still live alone.
He never mentioned it after that.

[MelanieAnne]

You could just say someone sent it to you as a prank.

[lingerieLiz]

It has gotten so most companies sell names to other non competitive companies. On the internet I get popups or display ads for women's clothing and lingerie all the time. The dumb part about it much of the time I've already purchased what I was looking for and could care less. In my case my wife knows so it isn't a big deal.

[Stephanie47]

For many years Victoria Secret advertisements came to our home in my name. Our daughter had use of my credit card while she was in college. My wife snatched up the free panty coupons and $$$ off bra coupons. I'll take some of those sexy catalogues coming to my house any day. I'd never call VS junk mail or would I? :)

[Leslie Langford]

I feel your pain, redtea.

I bought a mail-order wig from Paula Young years ago, and they still keep sending their periodic catalogs to my "Clark Kent" name and address despite numerous unsuccessful attempts in the past get to them to remove me from their mailing list.

All I can do now is try to intercept these mailings and toss them out before my wife gets to see them. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, and this additional bone of contention has since been added to the DADT list...

[Teresa]

Redtea,
We can tick all the security boxes in Google but our details still aren't private, I think most of us would still get a surprise about how much information is passed on and who to .

Sometimes the little tick boxes are so well hidden it's easy to miss them and that's when the catalogues and Emails start.

I had Emails over several months offering online medication to increase certain parts of my anatomy, and then the Emails started offering me a choice of Russian women as possible brides. Obviously whoever put those two together wanted to make sure I was prepared to take on an athletic young Russian bride.
I still wonder why they started in the first place, I can only relate it to my some of my searches being recorded, even then I certainly had no need of the medication on offer .

[Petra1]

I feel your pain, redtea.



I was going to say the same thing about the wig catalogue. I ordered a wig online from Paula Young and now I get their catalogues.

[gailprice]

I bought some lovely items from a good company (I am not to sure to mention them here but here's a clue David N........r) and despite many requests not to send a catalogue I still get a catalogue every month.

[Lisa Roberts]

Oh yes Woman Within! They probably don't figure "guys" are buying their goods, my purchases arrive in the bright pink package with my boy name on it!!!
I'm certain that the postman and UPS drivers know my secret! And that's way OK with me !!!
Lace and smiles,
Lisa 👠

[jjjjohanne]

You could always submit your mom's friend's name and address to the Victoria's Secret mailing list.

[Ressie]

Ordered a wig from thewigcompany.com recently and had two catalogs delivered already. My ex submitted my name and address for catalogs as a joke. But Dress Barn stopped delivering them.

[CarlaWestin]

I've certainly had many instances of, "So what's in the package?" And even with DADT, wifey doesn't pitch any of my catalogs.

Here's an interesting thought, Redtea. I'm in a marital arrangement that had vows which sort of implies contractual agreements to be the life partner as presented at the time. Then the bombshell of CD shows up. A typical response is, "This isn't what I signed up for."

Now, my wife and I have worked through all of that and civilly reside with DADT and remain married.

But, in your case, you're an offspring. There were no vows or contracts. Only a wink and a twinkle. You are a 'this is what you get' entity.
So, why the DADT attitude to a parent? Is it a, "My house, my rules!" situation?

[Adriana Moretti]

Paula Young wigs and Venus send catalogs....fair warning....I dont get why either..its 2016 ....who does catalogs anymore ?

[Helen_Highwater]

I started my journey in 2011 february when i boldly ordered my first 3 pairs of panties from amazon- brief, thong, and hipster all black all from LEONISA.

fast forward to today December 3 2016 almost 6 years from my first purchase and LEONISA SENT ME A CATALOG.

I get home from work, and i get a "oh redtea this was in the mail for you, there's some nice stuff in there, it had your name on it"



Redtea,
We can tick all the security boxes in Google but our details still aren't private, I think most of us would still get a surprise about how much information is passed on and who to .

Sometimes the little tick boxes are so well hidden it's easy to miss them and that's when the catalogues and Emails start.

I had Emails over several months offering online medication to increase certain parts of my anatomy, and then the Emails started offering me a choice of Russian women as possible brides. Obviously whoever put those two together wanted to make sure I was prepared to take on an athletic young Russian bride.
I still wonder why they started in the first place, I can only relate it to my some of my searches being recorded, even then I certainly had no need of the medication on offer .

Redtea,

Teresa's experience in getting what are simply spam or phishing emails could be one way of explaining it away. You bought something online or registered on another companies site and they are part of a bigger holding company who sold/circulated your details.

Like you I used to get catalogues from companies I'd bought femme stuff from. Fortunately they also sold drab stuff so I made sure I bought at least one item from them and that's way I get the catalogues!

A lot of online retailers now offer the option of an online only account so they don't have to send out paper statements and bills. This is what I look for and make sure I tick any box that needs ticking to keep it that way.

[sometimes_miss]

The big problem is the vendors who send out POST CARDS when they have a delay or are out of stock. Just My Size sent me a nice post card, and in nice large all caps letters told me
YOUR
SIZE 46B UNDERWIRE BRA
IS CURRENTLY OUT OF STOCK. YOUR
SIZE 46B UNDERWIRE BRA
WILL BE DELIVERED AS SOON AS AVAILABLE. EXPECTED DELIVERY DATE IS SEPTEMBER 29, 20XX. IF YOU STILL WANT TO RECIEVE YOUR
SIZE 46B UNDERWIRE BRA
YOU NEED DO NOTHING. IF YOU WISH TO CANCEL YOUR ORDER FOR YOUR
SIZE 46B UNDERWIRE BRA
CALL 1 800 XXX XXXX OR SIGN INTO YOUR ACCOUNT TO CANCEL YOUR ORDER FOR YOUR
SIZE 46B UNDERWIRE BRA.

THANK YOU FROM JUST MY SIZE

Each time, the item was on a seperate line, indicating it was a computerized form letter, and the machine simply types in the item name and number, and then continues the message. It would be impossible for anyone to NOT know what was ordered, or, to who. We are lucky that in most cases, the postal workers really don't give a crap what's in the mail, they have enough to do with just sorting through it all. They also know that plenty of women order clothes with their husband's credit cards when their own are maxed out.
Fortunately, this went to my post office box, not my home.


Redtea, do not know if you order your clothes on line or not, but do not order from Woman Within! They use pink bags with Woman Within in large white letters! Just thought I would warn you! Hugs Lana Mae
I get all kinds of stuff shipped to me. I have female relatives. Anybody asks, they're gifts.
As far as the VS AND Venus catalogs, I look through them at work. So do other guys. Hot chicks in lingerie and swimsuits. What's the surprise?

[~Joanne~]

I am just happy that my SO knows that I do this. catalogs come all the time and how they got started is well beyond me. a lot of them come in her name so I like to tease her about them ;)

[ColleenCD]

Hi Redtea,

This is an inherent risk of being pretty. Maybe consider joining the mailing lists of say Cabela's Sporting goods or Harbor Freight tools. This might make it appear your pretty catalogs were more random than targeted?

Best wishes

[Lainie]

The first--and last--time I ever ordered parties on line, my SO picked up the mail from the mailbox, clearly marked as lingerie. She didn't know at the time. At least the long years of agonizing about wanting to tell her and being afraid ended. We went through some tense time, and quickly settled on DADT as the only practice she was willing to accept. Did subsequently buy some bras online without her knowledge and (so far) without catalog follow up. In those days I had a feminine email address, since scuttled. Just bought sleepwear online from Soma, during a dense Pink Fog. Maybe that wasn't the wisest choice?

[HollyGreene]

I bought my house 17 years ago, and I still occasionally get junk mail in the name of the daughter of the previous owner, so I've been very tempted to use that as a pseudonym when ordering online.

[Judy-Somthing]

Years ago myself and a friend would look in girly magazines and fill out forms for all kinds of stuff and send to people we knew.

We would fill in their address for "feminine hygiene products" such as pads, lingerie, clothing,siding, bank loans, etc.

As many as we could find. It was hilarious.

[CourtneyJamieson]

I have to second and third the Paula Young wigs catalog. I ordered one wig and now get the catalog every 3 or 4 months. Luckily I pick-up the mail most days. Just hope one never arrives on a Saturday. And I agree, who sends print catalogs anymore in the internet era. I order alot from Spicey Lingerie. Very discreet and non-descript packaging. And they have super-sexy lingerie.

[Tracy Irving]

Getting removed from a mailing list, either snail or e-mail, is more difficult than finding your lost sock in the dryer.

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you had/have a girlfriend they knew/know about, you could have used the excuse you bought her some things and that is why you got the catalog. If not... yeah, awkward.

I had the same problem with Paula Young. Long ago when I was living with my parents I had a Paula Young catalog arrive in my name (I had to provide a physical address instead of a PO box for an order), and that is how they got my home address. Yeah... didn't go over well.

[Aunt Kelly]

And I agree, who sends print catalogs anymore in the internet era.

You'd be surprised. There is a certain demographic that prefers to select from a print catalog and order with a phone call, or even a mailed-in order form. Somewhere is a marketing person who's run the numbers and determined that it's still profitable to shotgun mail that catalog.

[Devorah]

even if you buy something online and then have it shipped to the store for direct in store pick-up (not even providing your home address), they can link back to your credit card and send you catalogues. In order to avoid the hassle, I used to use pre-paid visa cards that I "registered" to old addresses to where I once lived. That way I'd have an old driver's license to go pick it up in the store. My old neighbors must be shocked at the number of different women's apparel companies that sent me catalogues! :heehee:

Life has gotten so much easier since my wife found out (through the dreaded out of stock postcard as Lexi mentioned above when i used my regular address!). Now i just tell her to expect the orders....:)

[Judith96a]

To stop catalogs?
Write NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS on the front in the largest marker that will work and put it back in the mail!

[PamelaRI]

Last week I received a Venus catalog with "his" name on it My wife who "doesn't want to see it, etc." but seems to look for any sign of it, didn't say a word, it just went into the recycling as it would if it came to her. I believe that the same is true when catalogs from Forever 21 , VS, and some Prom dress company come in the mail with "his" name on it. I presume that she just chalks it up to aggressive advertising and the fact that its my credit card that does most of the online purchases.

[MissJoanne]

Just to digress slightly: ex-Mrs took out a magazine subscription and put it in the dog's name! Now, the thinking behind this makes sense, as you can track who they're selling information to. Some weeks later, two letters from credit card companies arrived proudly proclaiming that he was "Pre-Approved"! I was sorely tempted to fill one in.....

[MissTee]

I buy a lot of clothes for my wife and daughters from Talbots, Woman Within, Jessica London, Lane Bryant, Catherine's, etc. Also but them cosmetics from Sephora and Ulta. I receive tons of mailings as a result. I don't worry about my name being on them anymore. I can also tell you who ships in discreet packages and who doesn't.

[Krisi]

Buy your stuff from a retail store and you won't have that problem.

Retailers sometimes share mailing lists so you sometimes get catalogs from companies that you haven't dealt with in the past. I would just brush it off and go on about your business.

[donnatracey]

To stop catalogs?
Write NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS on the front in the largest marker that will work and put it back in the mail!

That might work in the UK but not here. Also not sure your postal service(British Mail or USPS) is going to pay to send back, esp when they know it's the correct name and address....:eek:

[Judith96a]

Donna, dunno about USPS but Royal Mail will charge the original sender for the return! Better still, use the reply-paid envelope (either empty or containing something useless to the supplier). Only costs the catalog sender money when you use it!

[Krisi]

To stop catalogs?
Write NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS on the front in the largest marker that will work and put it back in the mail!

That only shifts the burden of disposing of the catalog from you to the post office. They will keep coming as long as someone is sending them.

We still get mail for the previous residents and we've been here over ten years.

[MissJoanne]

We still get mail for the previous residents and we've been here over ten years.

I still get the odd thing for the people before the people before! They left in 2000.....

[atxpantyboy]

Few things have been as liberating in my life as coming out and telling my close friends about my gender bending and sexual proclivities. Every woman I date also gets full disclosure either up front before we go out, or as soon as it starts to get the least bit serious. I often discuss ongoing sales and styles with some of my girl friends, and occasionally get to go shopping or get pedicures together, too. I actually love getting the emails and catalogs and I proudly show off my VS Angel credit card anytime I can. :-) Feels great to live openly and to have so many friends who accept me just as I am.

[Kathie Pantyhose]

I don't know if someone said this but "Suddenly Fem" will also send catalogs or used to for over a year before they finally stopped. I do love their selections though. My wife didn't throw them away but wasn't happy with them always either. Sometimes the tolerance depends on her sleep/work otherwise we also do DADT

[redtea]

But, in your case, you're an offspring. There were no vows or contracts. Only a wink and a twinkle. You are a 'this is what you get' entity.
So, why the DADT attitude to a parent? Is it a, "My house, my rules!" situation?


No, I don't feel it's a "my house my rules" situation. My mom is pretty liberal so I don't have to worry about a conservative mindset judging me.

If I was afraid that id be kicked out, I wouldn't have even started.

I'm more afraid of losing my sense of being "male". It's hard to explain something that is purely emotion. I guess to paraphrase the chaos of my mind "I'm still a male, I don't want to be seen in that light-it would be too weird and it will never go away, maybe i do want it- no there is surely something i missed when thinking what could go wrong. It's just a fetish, Is it really? family shouldn't be involved in such matters! It's just clothes- No it's something else. I don't want them to know how sick I am, I don't desire help but will be shamed into getting help. I don't want to be a spectacle, I won't, I can't let go of being "normal" I have worked hard living in a manner that is normal.

*cries*

I have placed strong moral values in being a certain way for everyone who cares about me.

[bronwyneve]

To stop catalogs?
Write NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS on the front in the largest marker that will work and put it back in the mail!

Doesn't work all the time. I now write "DECEASED" on the mail and return to sender in a street post box. That seems to work.

[Barbara Jo]

Yeah companies get their mailing lists from who knows where.....

Just recently, I started to get issues of "Sports Illustrated " magazine. I was never into sports of any kind that they could have been even remotely aware of .
Advertising rates for magazines are based on circulation rates . Even a free one counts for this.
When I finally called, them, I told them to stop sending me the magazine. They told me they must have got my name and address address from a mailing list supplier that they contract with.

So, these mailing list suppliers will just give their customers any address, whether it is a match for for their product or not.

It's a shotgun approach that the catalog companies use for their catalogs.
If only half hit their target, they are happy .

Bottom line, no one is completely in charge of what is sent to them. :)

[Maria Blackwood]

I get 3 or 4 women's clothing catalogs a week.

I love it. I browse them all. :D The fun ones are when it's a new company I haven't heard of. I found Torrid that way, and I'm now a Torrid Insider. The Pyramid Collection was another. I have a couple long, flowy, new agey dresses from them.

I live alone so no one asks. If someone did I'd shrug. I don't owe anyone an answer.

[HelenR2]

My neighbour accepted a parcel for me and brought it round when I came home. It is fortunate that he knows about me because on the front of the parcel, in BIG letters, was 'WOMANS DRESS'.

[MissJoanne]

Had something similar here recently. Lady next door brought round a package which had been put in the wrong mailbox, and she had inadvertently opened - several pairs of panties from HerRoom. She was most embarrassed, but I explained that it was for the lady who rents a room here ('my' mail comes addressed to Joanne ��).

[valerie anne]

I was out when a parcel for me was delivered next door.

When I collected it, the label said in large letters "dual electric breast pumps".

[CarleyR]

When this happened to me, I mailed the catalog company the address label from the catalog and asked to be removed from their mailing list. It worked, at least after two such mailed requests. It was a concern but my requests seem to have been honored since my second request.

[Leslie Langford]

Donna, dunno about USPS but Royal Mail will charge the original sender for the return! Better still, use the reply-paid envelope (either empty or containing something useless to the supplier). Only costs the catalog sender money when you use it!

I've heard of people wrapping up bricks in packing paper and then affixing one of those "return postage paid" envelopes or cards to them. Amazingly effective in stopping those unwanted, repeat mailings dead in their tracks... ;).