StefaniLara
12-04-2016, 02:27 AM
Sometimes it's the simplest things that are the hardest to do. I've gone out in public a few times this past year. I went to OKC en femme, visited the Dallas Arboretum and the Cheesecake Factory with a friend, no problem. I've been to a gay bar here in town several times, late at night, and enjoyed myself. But this past week, I finally worked up the courage to do a normal thing, go to the movies.
I know, it's such a small thing, but it was huge for me. The odd thing was that as I sat there, as Stefani, there was no thrill. It was just an evening at the movies, with a friend. I was at ease and it was natural, and I loved it. Next, I want to go to a bar with friends. I think that would be so much fun. I just hope no one causes any trouble.
I never thought I would get to this place in my life, where I'm comfortable enough with myself to simply be. I spent almost my first year confined in an apartment, too afraid to venture beyond the front door, and now I'm going out. It's still not easy, and I still get a little nervous, especially when I have to speak, but other than that, I'm settling in to the fact that it really isn't all that big a deal.
I know, it's such a small thing, but it was huge for me. The odd thing was that as I sat there, as Stefani, there was no thrill. It was just an evening at the movies, with a friend. I was at ease and it was natural, and I loved it. Next, I want to go to a bar with friends. I think that would be so much fun. I just hope no one causes any trouble.
I never thought I would get to this place in my life, where I'm comfortable enough with myself to simply be. I spent almost my first year confined in an apartment, too afraid to venture beyond the front door, and now I'm going out. It's still not easy, and I still get a little nervous, especially when I have to speak, but other than that, I'm settling in to the fact that it really isn't all that big a deal.