do go out alone or with someone

[sara66]

I was reading another threat and a comment was made about her next step was to go out alone. Do you prefer to go out with or without a wing person? For me I like going solo. I do tend to like to do most stuff alone. Someday a may go out with someone, but for now I am good by myself. My random thought for the day.
Sara:daydreaming:

[Krisi]

I would prefer to go out with my wife but so far, she's not ready for this. I think two women out together looks more common than a single woman, especially after dark.

[Wendy me]

I go out a lot alone .. Been out with Outher cd's or t-girls and a lot of times add some drinks and the side show starts ...,girlfriends Wendy is not a side show ... So I go by myself

[April Showers]

Sara, I believe that was my post you are referring to where Teresa asked if I would have done it alone. As this is really the first couple of times I have been out I don't know if I would have been ready to step out on my own but even if I could have I would much prefer to go out with my wife by my side I love that she is willing to let me leave the house dressed and meet other girls in a socclal environment. I think it would be selfish on my part to exclude her from being there. So many of us have spouses that do not want to see or be a part of our feminine side l just feel blessed that I have a wife who loves me enough to let me be me.

[NancySue]

We live in a small community in which we are both very active in both our jobs, church, and as volunteers for a couple of not for profits. We've discussed going out together but we both feel that if someone saw her with me dressed, we'd have an awkward situation. Therefore, I mostly go out by myself. She's totally supportive except she has a fear of our secret being exposed. At this point, we feel the consequences are not worth the risk. I respect her thoughts. Happy wife, happy CDer.

[Elizabeth G]

I have only been out alone and have very much enjoyed myself. I'm not sure I would like going with someone else unless it were with my wife and I'm pretty sure that will never happen, so solo it is for me.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I usually go out alone. It's easier to mix with the general public. If you can go out with an accepting SO you have to go where no one knows you as a couple since she could be the one that gives you away if you run into someone that knows you as a couple. Going solo is easier. Once I ended up standing next to my female boss at a jewelry counter at a mall. She looked up for a moment and than went back to her shopping. I'm not going to say that I almost wet myself but years of doing this and controlling "the deer in the headlights" look saved me. My look is pretty mainstream and it's not like she was looking for me dressed as a woman. Just look at the Boy Mode vs. Girl Mode Pics pics at the top of the Picture and video Forum. Sometimes it is hard to see that it is the same person even in side by side photos. Just pic what makes you comfortable and have a good time.

[Krisi]

We live in a small community in which we are both very active in both our jobs, church, and as volunteers for a couple of not for profits. We've discussed going out together but we both feel that if someone saw her with me dressed, we'd have an awkward situation. Therefore, I mostly go out by myself. She's totally supportive except she has a fear of our secret being exposed. At this point, we feel the consequences are not worth the risk. I respect her thoughts. Happy wife, happy CDer.

That's pretty close to my situation as well. I don't think people would recognize me but they certainly recognize my wife and would recognize me by association. I think the solution is to travel to another town or better yet, city far enough away that neither of you is likely to be recognized and do your "going out" there.

[Helen_Highwater]

Never been out shopping etc with someone else but have met up with other CD'ers for a social event. I certainly would like to have the opportunity to say go out for a meal with other CD'ers. I have asked myself would I go out on a date with a male who was in drab on the understanding it was a totally platonic relationship, a few drinks, a nice meal and it's good night from me. Of course I'd pay my share. What sort of good time gurl do you take me for?????

[Teresa]

Sara,
Going out dressed to me means meeting others socially, I go out alone to shop but only in drab and I now prefer that. I have a lot of fun with SAs and would probably lose that if I was with my wife or another person.

April,
It must be nice to have that choice, but sadly I don't. A GG asked me if my wife would ever accompany me to my meetings , I had this conversation with my wife and she replied she would be too outspoken. I do feel guilty about the Xmas party on Saturday because a dinner dance is something you should be taking your wife/ partner to. I'm not sure how she feels about me dressing to meet others for a meal and then possibly dancing especially when the venue is being shared with other parties. I'm also stopping over and dressing for breakafast, she just made the comment of how I had the courage.

[abby054]

Alone, but I prefer to do almost everything alone whether en femme or in drab.

[April Showers]

Krisi
I don't really think there is a town far enough away for my wife not to bump into someone she knows. I've always said if she landed on the moon she would bump into someone who knew her . It has happened at Disneyland in Florida on a new year's Eve. It's happened at a sold our concert in Buffalo and those two examples are in a different country so it probably will happen sooner or later and I know I'm going to collapse in laughter.

[Jeri Ann]

I have done it both ways. I probably have been out alone a hundred times, maybe two, in the last 45 years. However, last week I had the opportunity to spend three days with my BFF from the forum and it was the most enjoyable time I have ever had. We went dozens of places in those three days, shopping, dining, drinks, etc. It is so nice to share life with a friend.
Jeri

[Judith96a]

I've only ever gone out on my own. Yes I've occasionally met up with someone else at the venue but generally I fly solo. To a degree that suits my personality. I've always been something of a loner. But it's lonely too and I'd love to have a wing-girl (anatomical details are irrelevant)!

[sara66]

Sara,
Going out dressed to me means meeting others socially, I go out alone to shop but only in drab and I now prefer that. I have a lot of fun with SAs and would probably lose that if I was with my wife or another person.

Teresa,
I tend to be a loner by nature. Even in drab I almost never socialize. I love my wife and love being with her, but given a choice I generally prefer my solitude. Being part this forum is out my norm. Granted is has some anonymity but I never have been one to share. Not there is any wrong way, this is just my way.
When I saw April's post I made me wonder about people comfort level & the level of support they have or need.
BTW my wife is supportive to a point. She has allowed my to go out and we can talk about dressing but she does not want to see me dressed.
By all means get out and enjoy, life is to short.
Sara:battingeyelashes:

[Stephanie47]

When I have the burning desire to go out en femme I go out alone. People seem to congregate together when they have something in common. It may be a developed friendship or an interest in a hobby for example. I like interacting with people who build military models and go to shows. I would never attend a military modeling show en femme. It's not a case of hiding or suppressing a need. It's the need is not there.

[DarthDaddicus]

We live in a small community in which we are both very active in both our jobs, church, and as volunteers for a couple of not for profits. We've discussed going out together but we both feel that if someone saw her with me dressed, we'd have an awkward situation. Therefore, I mostly go out by myself. She's totally supportive except she has a fear of our secret being exposed. At this point, we feel the consequences are not worth the risk. I respect her thoughts. Happy wife, happy CDer.

This is our situation as well. My wife is quite impatient about wanting to go to a larger town and making a night of it, though. We both went out together the other night, but I stayed in the car.

[Kate Simmons]

I usually go alone unless my GF wants to come with me. I Have a good time either way. :battingeyelashes::)

[Taylor186]

And I thought I was the only one.

I go out only once or twice a year and I always do it solo. At this point she prefers it that way and I do too. We went out together once a few years back to a venue an hour away and there was always the fear that I would be outed by being seen with her (as many stated above). Constantly "looking over our shoulder" made the whole evening uncomfortable for both of us.

[sherri]

Krisi
I don't really think there is a town far enough away for my wife not to bump into someone she knows. I've always said if she landed on the moon she would bump into someone who knew her . It has happened at Disneyland in Florida on a new year's Eve. It's happened at a sold our concert in Buffalo and those two examples are in a different country so it probably will happen sooner or later and I know I'm going to collapse in laughter.You're absolutely right, it's a small world. As a guy I've been astonished more than once bumping into someone from home in the least likely places. When I'm traveling as Sherri I tend to lower my guard and venture into the mainstream more than I can here, but I know the risk can never be entirely eliminated, a fact that was once driven home when I spotted a hometown acquaintance on the other side of a makeup counter in a big city mall 5 hours from home. It's also why I've never flown pretty, something I dearly want to do, cuz even if I could escape detection at the local airport, most flights from here stop off at the Dallas airport and it's not at all unusual to see people I know there. I also know from experience you can't count on not being recognized -- sometimes they do, sometimes they don't and I've been surprised both ways.

[Cheryl James]

In answer to the question, I go out alone. This is not, necessarily, by choice. I do not mind going out alone, but, if I had a shopping buddy, that would be great. Also, it would make picture taking while out much easier. It would, probably, be fun, too. I have attended support group meetings and CD/Transgender Meet-Ups where I have met others, however, I've always gone to these alone.

[Adriana Moretti]

It really depends on where I am going and what I am doing. If I am going shopping, running errands, or just casually wandering around the thrift shops ( i love thrifting ), i will go by myself.

Bars, and clubs though, I wont go alone for obvious reasons.

I did once, but it was a hotel bar in the hotel I was staying at, seems a place like this was safe to go alone, I knew most of the staff, and the only other people at the bar were other guests on business and they too were alone, so conversation was pretty easy and it was harmless.

[Joyce Swindell]

Different days different times. My wife loves helping me as I also enjoy helping her when we go out together. I love going out with my wife as Joyce and I don't worry too much about running into anyone that might know me. She is pretty observant and has my back too. I have little desire to escape into the world by myself at this time. In years past though it was the only way I could express that part of me......out alone.

Although I may be nearing an outing by myself if I don't get out soon! SO much is going on in our lives and now we have permanent house guests ...i.e. kids moved back home...so we usually attend a monthly meeting and use business outing as a reason for staying away for two nights but we haven't been able to do that for three months now!! I'm starting to get unexpected fem moments daily! Hoping no one notices!! lol

[Kathie Pantyhose]

I would LOVE to have the courage to go out but I don't have any confidence above the neck. I'd love to have a local gathering at a safe place where we could all meet and just talk and be ourselves with like minded girls. Just the ability to talk and share stories with another outside of email and forum posts would be great.

[AllieSF]

For newbies, I strongly recommend having an experienced partner when going out those first few times. Beyond that depends on the planned activity, one's own personal confidence and the availability of a desired partner, logistics. I have tried shopping with others, but I have my pace, desires and needs when shopping and it seems whoever I am with has theirs, which are different from mine. So, for me it is shopping alone. Up until a couple of years ago, I would generally only go out when I could meet up with friends. Today, I actually enjoy those solo flights for the start of the evening and then meet up with friends later.

[Princess Chantal]

The majority of my crossdressing outings are for the purpose to socialize with friends, whether they are members of the tg community or not. I do go out alone for a cup of coffee every so often, however most of the other loner type of activities and outings are not satisfying and not worthy of dressing up for.
I could be the lone one crossdressed in the group of friends, which tends to be just as enjoyable as if I were to be with others that are crossdressed or are transitioning.

[Rachael Leigh]

For me going out an about alone is the norm for me I feel as long as I blend well I'm just another women out doing her errands and shopping and it's such fun.

[Jenny22]

I've only been truly out among the normals one time. I wouldn't have done it alone, but felt comfortable and at ease as I was with a forums sister who has been guiding and encouraging me. It was wonderful! We are having a dinner out, soon, and have invited a third person, another forum sister that has been so very understanding of my needs and has helped me tremendously. I feel the security when with another. But, I promised myself and my sister that I would make a solo journey, and I will.

[sara.rafaela]

I go out alone, mostly because I have no one to share this activity with. Mostly I am out on travel. I go to SF a lot. I am not going out dressed with colleagues from work. Alone it is! I have been out with others, like at Viva Wild Side, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I had thought this forum might be a place to get acquainted with friends for going out in different cities, but it hasn't worked that way. I think people just don't visit that part of the forum, and people are rightfully cautious about venturing out with strangers, even for a drink in a public bar.

[Alice_2014_B]

Most of time I go out solo; I have gone out a few times with the wife.
Hanging out with another CDer is the bomb!
But I bet going out in public with at least another CDer enfemme would be really awesome!
:)

[Steph54]

Hello I'm new here but I'm 62. I go out alone and for dinner with my stepdaughter both dressed completely with wig and makeup and also as a man dressed enfemme with my bald head showing. I'm out getting my car fixed now wearing shapeware, heels, pants, pink sweater, jewelry, soft green infinity scarf and a women's quilted jacket. No wig no makeup and everyone is extremely pleasant. Work was taking a while so walked up to Starbucks. Got a compliment on my jacket and scarf.

[Connie D50]

I have gone out both solo and with my wife. For me going out with my wife is 100% better then on my own. With her I feel more like one of the girls talking shopping trying on cloths. Solo I have no distraction so all I think about is being outed.

[Lexi_83]

Bury yourself in a pack of GG's whenever possible!

[Kandi Robbins]

Far and away, I prefer flying solo. First off, I am accepted (or not) for myself. In a group, like it or not, we are viewed as an oddity. The larger the group, the more difficult it is to blend in. Secondly, for me, the high I get off of dressing is personal interaction with others. That is far easier by myself.

[immindy]

My situation is that I pretty much am full time at home as I am transgender and on hormones but I do present as male to many in our circle and community. When out and about I usually am with my wife as we do enjoy being girls together. We do have a standing agreement that if we see someone that knows us that we will separate and join up later so that people wont figure out who I am that only know me as a male . This only occurred once and worked out well. I do have an antique business where everyone I deal with only knows me as Mindy so I often go out with out my wife when working . We do prefer that most who know me as a male, and the husband of my wife, do not know that I am transgender but if they guess or find out its not a big deal to us, just a preference.

[Dana44]

I always go out with my SO and we go as two gals., However the part of town I run around in knows me as a male. But the town tat is right next to us nows me as a female. LOL or we go farter out to another town.

[Sallee]

I mostly go alone because there is no one to go with I would be more than happy to go with another CD or friend but no one is available when I am. I sure is fun with or with out others

[Becky Blue]

Alone, but I prefer to do almost everything alone whether en femme or in drab.

Haha my answer is with people because Becky is a very sociable girl and loves to share her special occasions (outings) with people...Funnily as a guy i am much less sociable.

[Aunt Kelly]

This is our situation as well. My wife is quite impatient about wanting to go to a larger town and making a night of it, though.
Keep that lady happy and do what she says. :)

[TrishaTX]

I go alone to local parties, she has zero interest unfortunately...

[Tracii G]

I have done it both ways but shopping or going to events or browsing historical sites is better with another on board.

[Diane Smith]

I live alone and don't have any friends nearby who are "in the know," so it's exclusively solo outings for me. I wish I did have a partner to share it with, at least some of the time.

- Diane

[Lux]

Back in the day it was always solo. Now my wife always accompanies me usually to clubs to dance or occasionally dinner. Lately we've been going out with great friends and accepting couples. I always have the opportunity to go by myself if my wife is a little tired at the end of the week but she also loves to get her dance on. We find dancing a great way to blow off every day life stress.

[Krisi]

Krisi
I don't really think there is a town far enough away for my wife not to bump into someone she knows. I've always said if she landed on the moon she would bump into someone who knew her . It has happened at Disneyland in Florida on a new year's Eve. It's happened at a sold our concert in Buffalo and those two examples are in a different country so it probably will happen sooner or later and I know I'm going to collapse in laughter.

Yes, my wife knows a lot of people as well. The best we can do is reduce the risk by going to a different town or city. The place I have in mind is about a 2 1/2 hour drive from home. We've been there a few times for festivals and so far never run into anyone we know. Like so many things, it's a matter of risk vs. reward.

[Ceera]

Usually I go out alone, although often my destination is some planned event where I expect to meet up with several of my GG lesbian lady friends. I am in a couple of meetup groups, and a lot of my 'out for an evening' activities center around socializing with others in those meetup groups, as Ceera. But I'm perfectly happy to head out for a dance or a music event or whatever all by myself, just to enjoy the event.

When I first started going out en-femme, it was always alone, to bars or nightclubs that were LGBTQ-friendly places. After a while that included going to music venues where friends of mine were performing, and/or where friends were likely to be attending the event and sharing a table that I could join them at. But it was never a case of me asking someone to get together with me and go someplace together.

I'm widowed, and I don't have a wife or SO or girlfriend/boyfriend any more, nor do I have any particular friends who I would just pair up with for an outing. Virtually all of my GG lesbian lady friends right now are either married or in a relationship, and the few that are single like interacting with me in a group setting, but aren't close enough friends to pair up with for outings. And while a few of the couples have indicated they are open to the idea or meeting with me for drinks or dinner, it feels a bit awkward for me, as a single person, to tag along with just one couple who are in a relationship.

One exception to my solo outings, I suppose, is that I do often go shopping or to a movie or out to dinner en-femme, while accompanied by my daughter, who is nearly 21 now. She doesn't care which mode I am in, so if I happen to be enjoying a 'girly day', and we choose to go to a movie or out to dinner, or to do other activities together, then off we go! About half of the times we've gone to see a movie and about a third of the times we have gone out for a meal together over the last 6 months or so, I have been en-femme. But that is more of a matter of me enjoying qulity time with my daughter and she with me, as opposed to pairing up with a 'wing person' for support.