What triggered your Crossdressing need?

[Steph54]

Hello for me when I was 4 or 5 and my cousin Pamela convinced me to put on one of her dresses with the assurance no one would see me. Pamela was 3 years older than me and after she fastened me in the dress, she dragged me out of the bedroom and showed me off to her mom. My aunt immediately had Pamela take of the dress. My humiliation was intense. I'm not sure if this started it or I had the desire before, why else did I agree to put the dress on in the first place.

This has resulted in a lifetime desire to been seen when wearing any item of womenswear.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I was pretty much raised by my sisters since I was a surprise baby. My Mom thought she was done with my brother 5 years earlier. I was around them a lot. This was back in the 50's when they were wearing dresses every Sunday for church. The dresses had full skirts with bouffant petticoats and swished with every turn. Everyone visiting commented on their feminine beauty. Nothing I wore compared to what they could wear. It looked like such fun that I was not having in my clothes. So at an early age of 4-5 years old I wanted to wear what they did. There was a gold satin gown hanging in storage in the basement that I would wear whenever I had some privacy. When I was old enough to be left alone, I raided my sisters closet and draws every chance I got. They had to know since sometimes I ripped them or split the zippers but no one ever said anything. So the short answer is an inner need to be feminine triggered my crossdressing. I personally think it is part of a previous life as a woman drifting into this life. Yes, I believe in multiple lives that afford us the oppurtunity to travel through time growing as a person and a soul.

[Elizabeth G]

When I was about ten or twelve I would look through the Sears catalog at the lingerie section (my parents ran a pretty tight ship - it's not like my father had a stash of Playboy magazines around the house, so I took what I could get). After a while I realized I was just as fascinated with what the models were wearing as I was with the models themselves. It just grew from there.

[Kate Simmons]

Wow if I could answer that question I would be a Billionaire. I don't think it's any one thing or experience. For myself it started out as curiosity then gradually built up until it felt like the natural thing for me to do. The end result is who I am today. :battingeyelashes::)

[SarahleeNH]

Stephanie Julianna, my story is the same as yours!!! Exactly!

[Alice_2014_B]

I know why I wanted to fully dress up and go out in public.
I would lounge around the house in heels and a skirt; sometimes I would hang out in the front driveway (no neighbors) just lower half dressed up and upper not.

More than anything, I wanted to walk around in public in a skirt and high heels (at least 4+ inches).
And I am not the type to go out partially done-up.

Others do that, cool, just not me.
Then a wig, makeup, and dresses followed.

:)

[NicoleScott]

I can believe that in some cases, the girl wearing the pretty dresses and getting all the attention might be a factor. Not for me, though. My sister is a year and a half older and I can't recall that happening. But the catalogs and magazines, yes, I wanted to wear what those beautiful models wore, especially the makeup and high heels. As it turned out, my older sister and I were the same size (clothes AND shoes) for most of our teen years. Lucky me.

[sara66]

When I was about 4 or 5 I found one of mom's bras in the laundry. So I put it on the rest is history. I did spent a lot of time with 3 girl cousin when we were very young, they are a little older, I always wondered if they dressed me up. Some day I may have to ask them.
Sara

[RainbowDash]

For me it was the desire to be like Princess Peach, which coincidentally happened after having a dream that I was dressed up like her. Just thinking about being her gets me excited, and crossdressing had been the next best thing, as my desire was to look like a princess. But now that my collection of feminine clothes is getting bigger and bigger, imagining myself as Peach does not mean as much anymore. I would still love to dress like her and be her for a few days though, and if a genie granted me 3 wishes, this would be 1 of them.

[Periwinkle]

I don't really know. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. My mom just let me wear whatever I wanted, so that meant I spent a good chunk of my childhood in fluffy princess costumes. I grew my hair out for a while too, till I got sick of how tangly it was.

[Mark B]

In high school our football coach suggested that we wear pantyhose that weekend as it was going to be around 25 degrees. Tried them on and was like wow, this feels so good and sexy. Years later and here I am.

[ClosetED]

This is a common question, but be careful with cause and effect and biased subsets. Many other boys are dressed up by sisters or try on the mother's clothing, yet never become crossdressers. This Forum is a biased subset. Those who do, may end up here. Not every person who kisses a same sex person as a youngster goes on to be a homosexual. The cause may be genetic and then influenced by the environment. So some, like docrobsherry, may have lived for 50 years without the needed environment for their level of genetic predisposition. Others may have more predisposition and developed it based on their own internal feelings. Gender identity and sexual orientation are not the same, but may both have the same process of genetic and environmental influences. IMHO - your mileage may vary
Hugs, Ellen

[docrobbysherry]

I blame it on the hormonal prostate meds they put me on. But, I'll never know for sure-----:straightface:

[ClosetED]

I blame it on the hormonal prostate meds they put me on. But, I'll never know for sure-----:straightface:

We will probably never know for sure, but I am glad you found this outlet for your great style!
But consider how many other men were put on same drug, yet are not Sherry or some other outlet of CDing. So what about you made you react differently? Was it just a lower testosterone/higher estrogen levels that were needed to trigger the possibly genetic differences in us predisposed to crossdress?
Hugs, Ellen

[AllieSF]

I started at 60 and am way down that "T" spectrum road getting deeper as I go along. My trigger was prostate cancer and the negative side affects of incontinency and impotency. So, this new me is a substitute for what I lost and a discovery of something that may have been there forever just waiting to be ignited.

[DIANEF]

I started by raiding my sisters undies drawer when about 13, she was two years older, and it just grew and grew. I don't know if this was a trigger but when I was five my mum was getting me dressed for school. I had no clean underpants so my mum made me wear a pair of my sisters knickers. I protested loudly, but when I got home I just kept them on. It is one of the earliest memories I have, funny it should be that one.

[Teresa]

Steph,
Everytime this question comes up I just hope one member can relate to how my Cding started, so far it just hasn't happened . I've just been reading through some replies in the TS section about GD and I'm beginning to think I should go through my story there.

It happened almost sixty years ago and yet I still live with the gut feeling or inner need 24/7, it should have been laid to rest long ago.

[Judy-Somthing]

Of course I can't say for sure but when I was about eight my older sister dressed me up in her ballerina outfit and after that I couldn't get enough.
I put it on when ever no one was around, As I got older I tried to stop quite often but the desire to dress always won.

DAY ONE!
270164

[Josie]

Birth was when I had no choice in the matter!

[Lucy23]

All I know is that when I was four or five I tried my aunt's skirt, then left it at that for a few years without ever wanting to do it again. When I came into puberty, I tried my mum's pantyhose and shoes a few times, then left it at that again for a few years, not thinking about doing it more. In my early 20s I asked my then girlfriend if I could try on some of her skirts, tights and heels, then I asked again, and again... Needless to say I have been hooked ever since. She would joke in a good way that I really have a thing for them.

I guess I have always been fascinated with skirts and tights and how they make legs look. Maybe I wanted to have some of that for myself.

[NancySue]

I happily remember my first experience as if it happened yesterday. At 8 or 9, two older sisters lived next door to us. I went over to play. They were playing "dress up". I watched and was fascinated. They asked me if I'd like to wear something. At first, I declined, but, for some reason, I changed my mind. The first thing I wore were some old nylons and high heels. It was an "alka selzer" moment. They felt so good. I couldn't wait to dress again. Next, came mom's hose. It's progressed over the years to 100%, but all types of hose (pantyhose, nylons and thigh highs) remain # 1. Today started with a black 6 gartered OBG and sheer RHT nylons plus everything else. 👠👗💄

[Jenniferathome]

Absolutely noting "triggered" me into cross dressing. Opportunity made possible my innate cross dressing nature to be experienced. That's it. I was a cross dresser when I was born. I acted on it when I was about 7

[Cheryl T]

Being an only I have no idea what directed me to try on mom's things the first time. I just remember doing it and feeling so happy. I started at 5 or 6.

[Ressie]

Looking back, a combination of scenes from my early childhood involving fem clothes contributed to me wanting more as a teen. There were also scripts from my mother that had something to do with it. But who really knows for sure?

[Acastina]

Birth. Sharing a room with a one-year-younger sister for the first ten years (she became a dress-hating tomboy; go figure). Trying on Mom's nylons one time at 5 or 6.

[Tracii G]

Nothing I can think of sent me on my way.
Triggered is just a flavor of the month catch word.
When I hear the word "triggered" I think of some green haired feminist yelling at me.

[Lana Mae]

I really think it started with the little girl down the street, my name sake(First name only). She was playing and pulled her dress over her head, like little girls do. I wanted that dress so i could play like that. Then trying on mom's panties(way too big) at a young age! Wearing panties in puberty. Wearing panties 3-4 times when I was married(wife totally disapproved!) Wife passed away and shortly after the dam broke! What caused it? Who knows? Not even scientists and doctors can tell you for sure!!! Hugs Lana Mae

[dana digs sweaters]

"Crossdressing need"?
Interesting need.
Fun-ness while young? For sure.
Playtime with my sisters was extensive with me being the only boy.
Compulsion to experiment going for the full look? Yep
Copying their look that I saw everyday along with the girls at school just enticed me even more.
A need?
Opportunities presented (and some created by me) to crossdress as much as I could.
The conscious decision to go for a complete look without Halloween being an excuse?
Enjoyable experiences to be shopping for my own female clothes was part of the journey.

[Robin777]

Me, I had no sisters just two much older brothers. I can remember playing around with my mothers clothes when I was really young. Then when puberty hit I started playing around with lingerie. Then it just went from there. It just felt normal and like I was satisfying a need (for a lack of a better term) to wear women's clothing.

[Allisa]

As others have stated, I was born this way but having 3 older sisters and being exposed to female things on a daily basis is it any wonder that I would just gravitate to wearing the trappings of womanhood.

[CarlaWestin]

It was just that mysterious lure of the forbidden contents of my mother's bra drawer.

[Fiona123]

No trigger for me. I was born this way.🌺

[Dana44]

No trigger for me either. I was born this way and in a time that was you have to be a man. Strange time to be different. However I was different.

[wanda66]

The sun raise, !

[Aunt Kelly]

Can't say there was a trigger. For almost as long as I can remember, I have had an affinity for a feminine things. Sure, at puberty another dimension to it came storming in, but the desire was there well before that point. I can remember wanting to use mom's hair dryer (the desktop model with hose and bonnet) when I was maybe 5 or 6. Nail polish about that time too. Since that time, the feeling that comes with dressing has never gone away.

[Becky Blue]

Not really a trigger but at around 5 I invented a game called pretend I am a girl. No sisters so asked my mother to put a ribbon in my hair, played the game often for the next few years. I even had a name. Always wonder what would have happened if I had an older sister, presuming I would have asked to put on one of her dresses. We moved countries and I stopped playing the game I guess.

[Rachelakld]

I was born
Age of 4, my sisters clothes just felt right for me

[Steph54]

Hello ladies thanks for the replies. I'm sorry if some of these questions are a little predictable and old for those longtime members.

However it appears that most feel it started at birth and at around 4 or 5 it manifests itself. So is it just the way the DNA goes together. Being a CD is like have blue eyes or red hair.

I occasionally agree with the past life theory. I have a huge fascination with 50's fashions. I was thinking multiple lives as a girl, getting more girly each time, then next life as a boy and some of the girly feelings holdover. Also multiple lives as a boy gets you the manly man.

Don't take me too seriously just my way of looking for answers.

[Della]

I remember being a little, little, boy wondering what it would like to wear panties and have long hair, although my hair was long enough for the day. I remember "tucking" at age six or seven in bed with tightly squeezed legs. By 11 or 12, I was borrowing my sister's panties for short periods, and by sixteen, wearing her panties under my jeans at times. I, like what appears to be the majority, had some female identification and pull when young.

[NewBrendaLee]

I don't think that I had a real trigger, I remember looking at the catalogs like Sears and Penneys and wishing that I could wear some of those clothes. Also I remember looking at Playboys at my friends house and wishing that I could look like that.

[IleneD]

When you're a kid you don't know who or what you are. You figure you're just a kid.

Looking back on childhood I must have been effeminate, even pretty as a boy. I recall many men in my dad's circle (mostly miners, mill workers, etc.) mocking me about being pretty and being a sissy. So, a sissy I must have been. A sissy-boy is what I was, and I figure I was genetically programmed or predisposed to this in some manner. I don't think of that life condition as being a trigger; just a background condition.

One thing I vividly recall from small childhood was an attraction to Mom's MAKE UP. Reading the forum I get the idea that panties were the gateway item for most men, but for me I think it was makeup and face paint. Panties and girls clothing came later, almost in my teens. Loved the look that make up added to my already soft, boyish, apparently effeminate look as a lad. I recall being 'caught' at least once by Mom [surprisingly with no strong or scolding repercussions!]; and often she "knew" because of how her stuff was disturbed. And of course, make up didn't require that I fit into Mom's or my sister's sizes, and was readily available

The other thing I believe was steering me was HAIR. I was a child in the 50s and 60s, and long before The Beatles made long hair popular I begged for long hair. I hated the way dad (and the culture) made me wear my hair. I SO MUCH wanted to wear my hair LONG like my sister, and never understood WHY she was allowed to let her hair grow and I could not. Nearly every Haircut was cause for crying, for a fit, for a fight (sometimes physical force used to subdue the hair cut victim); I would hide, etc. It was awful. A lot of anguish every time for years. It was MY hair and I wanted to wear it the way I wanted. In my mind's eye, from my earliest days, I saw myself in long hair, and had no way of explaining that to my parents.

NOW...... my recent re-awakening came as the result of LEGGINGS. I bought some legging tights for bike riding on cold days. Loved them. Knew I would. The Spirit of Ilene, somewhat dormant for years, awoke. Next thing I knew I was wearing panties too (again). And then the Fatal Day when I crossed the threshold and bought my first very own personal dress (about 6 months ago).
Hasn't been the same since..... thank God.

[Charlotte1971]

It was the same for me. Growing up I struggled with being a man, but I never truly identified myself as wanting to be female until later in life.

[MissTee]

No trigger for me. I took to dressing like I did to walking, bike riding, and football in the park. The calling has always been there, and I would dress as often as I could and not get caught. While I understood that it would not be accepted, I wasn't born with the ability to shut down the desire to dress. Over the decades I have learned to adapt and accept myself and dressing.

[Lacey New]

This is the age old question of nature versus nurture and it is what drew me to this site. Answer is, I don't know. I can imagine that there are or were truly millions of young boys who were exposed to lingerie in their early years and perhaps there were close to the same number who may have tried on an item of lingerie. However, it seems as if only a small fraction of us kept on wearing the lingerie - or any other female garments. Personally, I have always been interested in trying to figure out why I am different and why do I crossdress. Am I alone or perverted in some way? That's why I came to this site to read about the stories of others to hopefully affirm my "normalcy". Well, I guess I am a "normal" crossdresser but I am still no closer to the answer as to why I continue to be drawn to crossdressing after many years and no closer to knowing why I started except for the fact that when I was young, putting on a pair of panties was a tremendous sexual rush.

[Tracii G]

I have 3 older brothers and my Mom said she was hoping for a girl when I was born.
That is irrelevant of course but I always felt different as far back as I can remember.
I always played with the girls in the neighborhood and very few boys because I thought they were gross.
I do have an older brother who is gay too but we never talk about being gay just regular life stuff.
Some relate it to a piece of clothing their Mother or Sister had which sounds odd to me but hey if that is how it was for you then OK.

[Charlotte1971]

Looking back, I never had the stories of others while growing up. I did not play with dolls, or hang out with the girls instead of the guys. However I always had troubled fitting in the male world. It was later in life that I felt I would be happier as a female and dressing as a female.

[adrienner99]

I grew up in a time when women wore black high heels and red lipstick. I was mesmerized any time I saw a woman in public, or a teacher in school, take out a compact and touch up her lips. And the tap-tap-tap of high heels turned my head to look every single time I heard it.

Then one day I entered my mother's closet. A bit later, I was wearing her yellow silk evening dress, her black patent pumps with three-inch heels, and her Revlon lipstick. My world would never be the same.

[Teri Ray]

Whew I love when this question comes up. I see that there are so many similarities as to when the crossdressing curiosity first occurs and some similar stories as to were it evolves to. But the answer as to why??? it occurs to me still the great unknown (at least for me).

I have pondered this question for may years without finding any good reasons. The best I can do is just accept that I have this desire without finding a "reason or cause"

Thanks for all that share there thoughts and experiences here.

I wonder if a question that asks: How many times have you thought to yourself 'why do I have this desire to crossdress?' could be answered?

For me the answer is .......... as many times as there is stars in the sky... or maybe I would answer I can't count that high

[Robyn2006]

I grew up in a world of women, with my mother and two gorgeous older sisters forever dressing up and glamorizing themselves. My mother, and sisters too, once they became teens, never left the house without the perfect outfit and full makeup. I always knew I was a bit different, not who a young boy was supposed to be... awkward from day one, hated sports, etc.. But when 14 and quite alone, in a moment of rare clarity I realized I too could do what they did. When I did, when I first put on my mother's clothes and pressed her lipstick to my lips for the first time, I came to be. No longer an awkward teen boy, but a newfound ingenue. It was a glorious and frightening day.

But to specifically answer the "What triggered your crossdressing need" question, I'd have to say watching my insanely gorgeous older sister putting on her lipstick. Like that song from A Chorus Line, I realized I could do that!

[DIANEF]

I've seen a lot of answers that say 'I was born that way'. I suppose in reality we all were. But somewhere, around 5-6 seems to be common, there is that first incident, not so much a 'trigger' of 'Oh, I like girls clothes', maybe it's more a case of finding somethings that says, yes this feels right, and you know you want more. It then takes whatever amount of time to fully manifest iself after that incident, 2 years or 20 years . Just my two pennies worth.

[Jacqueline1965]

I was between 4 and 5 years old when I was at my grandmother's house. My mother and my aunt are about the same age and they were trying on clothes in front of me and walking around in their bras and panties. Something triggered inside me and I wanted to wear what they were wearing. At some point in the near future I was caught wearing my mother's panties. Like I said I was 4-5 years old. There were no consequences that I can remember other than "take those off and those are not for you to wear". Something to that effect. I didn't wear them for several years after that but at some point around 8 years old I started in again wearing mom's panties and now other clothes in her closet. It was a compulsion to do it and I loved every minute of it. I would even do it when she was home in the back yard or doing housework. I was good at the deception. I never really stopped after that. In my early teens I got busted for "borrowing" my step mother's panties. She had the most incredible collection of panties...I would grab a pair and keep them under my bed at my Dad's house. Stupid me didn't think she would miss them...well she did and one day she caught me WEARING THEM. OMG I was so embarrassed. My Dad had a "little" talk with me and we all agreed that it was "puberty" phase thing and I promised never to do it again and I gave the stash back. A little later in High School I started buying my own through the Macy's catalog and had my own stash. I would even buy my own panties in-person. That was pretty bold for a 17 year old kid. I couldn't wait for the day when I would go away to college so I could wear whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Once I got to college I pretty much wore panties every day. When I met my future wife one of the first things I did was come out to her and she promptly went out the next day and bought me panties and a nighty. That was 1987 and I have been 24/7 in panties since then. I am now 51 and have started exploring other aspects of crossdressing and gender. I am in a gender support group and have been wearing mostly women's androgynous clothing everyday and out and about. It is a liberating and amazing feeling to finally start living an authentic life to be continued

[Petra1]

What started me on this road was my obsession with breasts. When I was probably 11 or 12, I wanted to know what it was like to have them; to walk with them; to do chores with them, etc. Then, piece by piece, I started trying different clothing. Eventually, it got to the point when I was about 13 or 14, when my family went camping for the weekend, I stayed home by myself just so I could dress all weekend long.

[wanda66]

Early in my youth i asked my mom why her things were soft and silky and mine were not. "Thats how female cloths are " . That didn't seem right ,that's when it began. No one said i shouldn't ,but then again no one knew i did. So it was ok. I was a mommy's boy with out a doub and i enjoyed silly things ,i was maybe 10yr old T the time
we all seem to have started more or less the same way ,there has to be something to that ,but the whys and the what fors are inconsequential.

[mdavis]

When I was about ten or twelve I would look through the Sears catalog at the lingerie section (my parents ran a pretty tight ship - it's not like my father had a stash of Playboy magazines around the house, so I took what I could get). After a while I realized I was just as fascinated with what the models were wearing as I was with the models themselves. It just grew from there.

That sounds pretty familiar. Also, I had a grade 7 teacher that use to dress really nice. Classic style for the time (it was the late 70's-she wore a lot of skirts, blazers, gorgeous tops). I also loved to hear the sound of her high heels as she walked down the hallway. Still LOVE that sound and have a thing for heels (not too high or thin-don't want to break an ankle haha

[Ally 2112]

I just started having these weird urges i needed to wear a dress or womens clothes .No matter how hard i tried to stop it just got worse .Now i just do it because i enjoy it !

[charlene#2]

i have to question someone later in life all of a sudden getting an urge to start wearing female clothes,i believe that i have always had the strong feelings to wear feminine clothes,i really started just before i joined the navy the last date i went on i snuck a pair of my stepmothers panties and i felt that i would be caught before the night was over,didnt happen tho

[SHINY-J]

When I was about ten or twelve I would look through the Sears catalog at the lingerie section (my parents ran a pretty tight ship - it's not like my father had a stash of Playboy magazines around the house, so I took what I could get). After a while I realized I was just as fascinated with what the models were wearing as I was with the models themselves. It just grew from there.

THIS^^^^

This is pretty much how my depressing desires came about... I can't count how many times I poured over the lingerie section in catalogs my mom would get in the mail... I obviously wanted to see naked women, but there was something about the way the shiny satin teddies, bras, garter belts, panties, bustiers, corsets, etc... all lifted and held everythimg up so well! I loved the high cut panties and the way the various cuts and styles of lingerie emphasized and accentuated various parts of the body making the female form look so much more impressive and attractive!

I would also say that, oddly enough, comic books actually played a huge role in my dressing desires! Being a young kid, I obviously couldn't get my hands on playboy or penthouse magazines, but I could buy all of the comics I desired! The superheroine characters and female super villains were all gorgeous women with huge teased hair that always looked perfect!,, and they all had impossible bodies and figures with breasts and asses that defied gravity! Then, toss in that they wore outrageous and sexy costumes and outfits that were skin tight, revealing, and SHINY!!!!

Looking back at my time reading comics as a kid and then seeing my wild, outrageous dressing style now, it's obvious that those comic book characters were a massive influence on me...

[audreyinalbany]

it's pretty much ancient history, but I remember going in mom's drawer when I was four or five (before kindergarten, so it must have been four) and trying on her stockings and girdles---late 1950's for you young 'uns who don't remember girdles--and clip on earrings. But...and this is pretty big but...I have a sister who is five years younger than I , and I remember my Mom being pregnant with her and my Dad saying he hoped she'd have a girl since there were already three boys in the family. So I'm sure on some level my crossdressing is looking for acceptance that I never really got from my Dad.

[RaquelAtwell]

I was dressing up as an adult around 5 or 6 years old. Wore my dads pants, too big of course. Saw my moms' skirt, wondered how it would look on me. Tried it and loved it. But I think it was seeing my sisters' undergarmets that really got me hooked.

[Emily Ann Brown]

As early as I have memory of...I looked in the Sears catalog and wondered how I would look in all this female clothes. As long as I have memory of ...I got mom's throw away stockings. When Mom died 16 years back. I had to go 5 hours from home on the weekend to start planning what to do with her estate. Wake the next morning dressed in an outfit I had got while out for supper. That rest is history. Em

[Lux]

Huge Marvel comic book fan here too. My mom would let me dress up in her tights, leotard and heeled boots. I just had to add the cape ..and viola, I was The Vision (old school). It just went from there...

[Joni Beauman]

By age 4 or 5 I was wearing my mother's slips, girdle and stockings somehow holding them up I imagine. By age 7 or 8 there was an incident where at swimming practice I evidently swam "like a girl", according to my mom, who then later that day dressed me in a girls Native American costume to attend a neighbors birthday party. There was the humiliation event that sometimes I wonder if it wasn't foudational - or perhaps simply coincidental. I have wondered over the years whether I have simply learned self humiliation as a form of self abuse that is as addictive as cutting. Perhaps if I found a social outlet for Joni my self acceptance would find another level of understanding. Its been a long, insular journey.

[Stephanie47]

I haven't read the other responses. I did notice the term "need" was used in the question. I'm a plain vanilla cross dresser. I've never had any desire to have been born a woman. I did not have any sisters or female cousins who dressed me up. My mother never dressed me in girl clothing as a form of punishment. I was a rough and tumble little boy. I did on occasion try on my mother's slips because the nylon fabric was so unlike any fabric I wore. There was no sexual motive involved. I had crushes on several girls in junior high school and church.

So, where did the 'need' arise. I've tried to figure out the why and how I evolved from trying on a nylon slip to wearing a bra, panty, slip, hosiery and the one dress I could squeeze into. Not a clue. However, it did arise during puberty. A counselor I see for reasons other than cross dressing/sexuality (combat related PTSD) expresses the opinion that each man and woman possesses some degree of the DNA associated with the opposite sex. I tend to agree with her analysis.

That leads to the bigger question for me. What do I get out of it? I may have a 'need' now, but, it took a lot of years to get to the 'need.' I did not start out needing anything. I suspect if my mother did not hang her nylon slips to dry in the hallway leading to the bedrooms in our apartment I would never have become a cross dresser.

[Beverley Sims]

Curiosity and excitement usually lets you play along with a joke...

I might suggest female cousins and aunties seem to like dressing up other relatives.

[Lorna]

This is an endlessly interesting topic (to me, anyway!) I notice that responses can be grouped into those who developed the "need" very young (under 10), those who developed it in teen years and those who did so later in life. I also notice the division between those who had lots of female company as children/teenagers and those who didn't. In my own case, I suppose I was around 12 or 13 when I began to take an interest in girls. I had no sisters or brothers or close female relatives so it was my young teenage fascination with girl neighbours and girls I saw on the way to school (my school was all-boys) that sparked my curiosity about their clothes. In particular, it was when girls started wearing nylon stockings that was the trigger. Suddenly they looked like young women and not children. I was aware - but only from washing lines and pictures in magazines and catalogues - that those girls must also be wearing other interesting things besides stockings: bras, suspender belts, slips, etc. That led dirctly to curiosity about what it must feel like to wear those things. My opportunities to find out were limited but I experimented with my mother's things and soon knew that I wanted even more to learn about girls/young women and their clothing. That curiosity - and enjoyment - has never left me.

[robbieatbest]

difficult to say - my sister's clothes, the roll on with suspenders had to be very careful with the stockings. I have had long periods of time when i was not able to dress and I came to no harm. Now I can dress at home all the time - and I do and I come to no harm however it does increasingly feel like a need.
Robbie

[pauldrexel]

For me I remember as a little boy my sister and her friend dressed me up in a dress and from then on I was interested in women's clothing- All thru my younger pre-adolescent day I would dress up in my sisters clothes especially her first communion dress which was very lacy and exciting- As I got older I never stopped and have had hundreds of wardrobes since- I am older now and married but the fascination has never left only stronger now because I can afford it and have my own office to be dressed all day if I choose

[sometimes_miss]

I was molested as a kid. At a young age I was told that god had made a mistake, and that I was really supposed to be a girl; he provided girls clothing for me to wear, and coerced me into behaving in sexual female behaviors. At that level of development, I did not have the knowledge or mental capacity to debate that concept; the reasons he presented seemed to make sense. Once that idea was in my mind, I looked for other signs that would either support or refute it. And, saw a few things that seemed to support what he had told me. It became a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts, that I would continue to believe it as the desire increased to be more girl-like to make god happy so he would 'fix' me. Believing that I was really a girl, I would privately dress as one as often as possible, trying to be look and feel as pretty as I could. All in the expectation that at some point, one day I would wake up as a girl, and just resume my life in that role. This went on through my childhood into adolescence, and apparently some degree of self identification becomes permanent during that stage of development. By the time I reached late teens, the damage was done; even when I finally figured out that it was all a delusion, because I didn't fit into what a female was at all, that didn't stop me from feeling like I was supposed to dress and behave like one. And that appears to have been permanent. No understanding of all the psychological mechanisms going on, changed how I feel.

There's simply an ever present underlying feeling that I'm supposed to be dressed, and behave, as a girl, waiting for some change to happen that would bring on the physical changes that girls go through when they physically mature sexually. Of course, that never happens, so I'm in a transgendered state of mind, 'stuck' at about age 14. That feeling has never gone away. If you want more info, feel free to read my bio, link is in the sig at the bottom of my post. It will explain everything.

[Beauty Parlor Bev]

I guess I am somewhat unique in the fact that my introduction to this wonderful world was not through clothes, but rather through hair and hairstyling. I was raised in a very rural area and was always taken to one of two local barbers for little boy haircuts. My hair was in a longish style for the times (1970's) and was a gorgeous, sun-bleached blonde color. My barber (the liberal one) retired and my Mother took me to the other one (the conservative clipper wielder) for a haircut. My, oh my, what a haircut it was! Suffice it to say that all of my gorgeous sun-bleached hair ended up on the cape and his shop's floor! He basically shaved me bald and the tears were flowing that day! Now it is somewhat amusing but at the time it was traumatic and I did not realize how much that day would affect the rest of my life! My mother swore that I would never be in a Barber's chair again after that day and it was almost 15 years before I was, but that is a story for another post! Her Beautician had been taking some unisex (what a word!) hair styling classes and offered to start cutting my hair for my mom. I didn't actually need a haircut for almost a year after that but when I did, off to the Beauty Shop I went! I was sooo nervous that first time, walking into such a feminine place as a Beauty Shop and I can still smell the perm solution, hairspray, and cigarette smoke (it was the 70's!) that was common to all Beauty Parlors at the time and that would come to be a real "trigger" for me over the years. None of the things that were done to me in that shop were ever done with the intent of "feminizing" me, but the perm rods and rollers that I eventually ended up in definitely brought out something in me that has grown to what it is today. I think it was always "there" with me because I have memories of "feelings" even before my Beauty Shop visit and I think being immersed in the culture of the Beauty Shop just brought it out.

[Adriana Moretti]

I had a really fun childhood. I was the only boy in a family of 7 girls and look at me now LOL. My grandmother had this wonderful walk in closet filled with the clothes of her 3 daughters ( my mother & aunts ) ...along the top shelf of this closet was all of my mothers wigs from beauty school. This was my playroom as a child.

My grandmother also had her own private bathroom that had a makeup vanity over 8 feet long ( to me it was like 100 feet LOL ) ...the vanity had a mirror that ran the whole length all the way to the ceiling with lights along the sides. It had pull out drawers filled with makeup, one of the drawers my grandmother kept all her free samples from avon , I would lock myself in this bathroom and play.

[valerie anne]

I just wanted to be a woman and to breast feed.

- - - Updated - - -

Since I was a small boy, I have had the irresistible desire to wear woman's clothing and to breast feed.

I wore my mum's bra until she caught me in her bra and garter belt (which didn't fit).

Currently, I am wearing a black plunge bra, a garter belt, barely black stockings, 4" pumps, full makeup, a black baby doll negligee and dual electric breast pumps.

I am in agony from the suction, but I can't release my boobs until I take my heels off!

[Contessa]

It wasn't at birth or even as I was about 5 or 7 years old. I think it was just a inquisitive mind and a willing to act on it. I had two sisters a mom and a close cousin, a girl. I was around them most of the time and found it enjoyable. With the exception of all of them I was attracted to girls, women and ladies. Also every once in a while I was alone. So I did things, hoping I wouldn't get caught. In the beginning it was all sexual and I'm almost sure that played a part with all here. But I played with my sisters dolls the same as I played with my trucks like any other boy. But the trucks weren't always interesting and there were things that were available. Just trying on stuff felt good. This went on whenever the child(not necessarily a boy) was alone all the way up into middle school. And beyond into high school. Still I hadn't been caught with the clothes wearing, I did get caught with the dolls and was beaten for doing that.

I have always had a foot fetish and seeing girls and women in open toed shoes and heels was also a turn on for me. I loved and to this day still love shoes. I would not have out my future ex and I wore the same size shoe unless I had tried on hers. In the early seventies male handbags were available. My mother ask if I wanted she would buy me one If I wasn't to shy I should have said yes. But I didn't, though I did wait till I was a bit older and after I had a Heart Attack. And I bought myself what I really wanted was a purse. Then I wanted to carry that purse with everything I would ever need in it. When I did start carrying a simular bag it bought back all the feelings that I had always had of being seen in complete women's attire. The heart attack told me I may not get another chance to live my life like I wanted to so I slowly flipped the switch. I couldn't stop and still can't, I became me the real me. I'll stop there.

[valerie anne]

I had a crush on a male school friend. We got into my house with my mum out.

I got into my mum's bra, stockings and heels (which fitted).

He snogged me rotten, then I breast fed him. He came back every week, and really sucked me hard.

After that, I was hooked.

[~Joanne~]

I know what started my CDing, the uncontrollable desire to know what a pair of pantyhose felt like to wear, it just snow balled from there. I don't know if that was the sole thing that triggered CDing within me but it's a good place to start. As for "the need" I will never know the answer to that question or the "why do I CD" one either.

[ShelbyDawn]

I see this as a two part answer. I differentiate between having an affinity to dress, being drawn to it, and a need to dress, having to do it. I know it is a fine line but let me explain...

First, as many have said, I have always been a crossdresser. I was born this way and have actually , with the help of a professional, done some past life regression therapy that indicates I was female and a very happy female in a previous life.(we can start a whole new thread about past lives if you want but for now, just go with me.)
I started with my moms lingerie and graduated to borrowing panties and other stuff from my sisters just as a lot of you did. When I went off to college, I pretty much stopped.
For most of my adult life, any dressing was purely incidental and opportunistic, for example, once in a apartment complex where we had communal laundry, I found some really cute panties in my stuff, so I kept them. That kind of thing.

Second, I didn't develop a "need" to crossdress until my marriage became abusive. Dressing became my safe haven, so to speak. My ex is a big woman so I could borrow some of her stuff when I needed to. I eventually told her and she went off the deep end about it which actually escalated my dressing. I personally think it was a subconscious effort to push her farther away. My therapist agreed.

Fortunately, with therapy and time, I have come to realize that this is just part of me and now I dress because I want to not because I "need" to.

Again, I agree this is a fine line, but thanks for letting me play... :)

[MissEllie]

I cant really pinpoint the exact time It happened for me, but I remember when I was around 10 or 11 I was so intrigued as to how Id look in a bra, a dress and a pair of high heels as my mother was always dressed like this. I have always had an urge to dress up in women's clothing since that day but I didn't really think about it too often after that until a few years later when I finally had an opportunity to try some of my mothers lingerie, clothes and high heels. After waiting all day for her to go out, I try on a nice pair of her lace knickers with stockings and suspenders and ever since then, I knew it was how I felt. Everything about that day and the rush I got felt incredible and Ill never get that buzz from dressing in mens underwear or clothes. Although I later stopped doing it (due to a lack of opportunity and denial from myself personally), Its only recent where Ive accepted myself and Im happy I have done so as I feel alive and I have never felt this good about myself ever.

[AllieBellema]

I don't remember what started my love for cross dressing and especially Southern Belle dresses. I would probably guess it was a movie like either The King And I or Gone With The Wind (which my grandmother watched alot of both). Of course, the early days involved me exploring my grandmothers closet load of clothes whenever I had the place to myself for a while. I was able to find a couple things I liked to itch that scratch to wear dresses in my early days until I bought my first southern belle dress as I was graduating from high school. When I tried to get away from it a bit when I moved another state over, I taped up the box with my southern belle dress, wrote "Halloween costume" on it, then threw it in another closet. I never knew what happened to it after I moved away and my family cleared out the house as I was the last to leave the house.

[Nonya Biznis]

I had just learned to masturbate at camp. I came home and was masturbating constantly, always looking for stuff to masturbate to. At first it was the Sears and JC Penny catalogue, then I was looking for dirty magazines or anything when I found my moms underwear and lingerie...

[ClaudineD]

Just evolved early in life knowing it was a woman lurking in the wrong presentation. Surrounded by 2 sisters and a Bohemian mother sure helped the process. Strong support led to first outing in public at 15 with no turning back......not sure if a "trigger" was involved, other than preset genetics.......

[londonman111]

I think mine was seeing heels and wanting to wear them then the clothes etc just seemed to follow. Now I just want to be able to try and go the full hog and look the part without people noticing.

I just have a lot to learn

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Steph:hugs:, Not really sure what caused it but I have been in this Crossdressing program for over 69yrs.

It's just who I am & It's just what I do ! ...:daydreaming:...

[pinkcapri]

Not sure what triggered, but ever since childhood, like when I was 6-7 yrs old I remember I always liked to touch girls underwear. Once my parent went out of town for some urgent work for couple of days and I had to stay in one of our very close family friends house whose girl and I were very close friends too. One night I pied on bed and did not have any dry underwear to put on and I was given one of the underwear of my girlfriend. I remember months after that I would not give that back and hide it somewhere that my parents would not see and put on them whenever I had a chance.

[cdmelissalaquinta]

Mine was something like your early experience. My sister and I (she was 5 I was 6) were staying with my aunt. We both had an accident in the beds during nap time. Auntie only had girl's panties to change us into. We both exchanged our wet undies in the bathroom while auntie watched. I was given citest white cotton panties with tiny flower pattern. My sister pointed at my crotch and said "look at his pee pee. It's sticking up. I didn't understand why that happened but it stockman my mind, as over the years I tried on as many panties as I could sneak in.

[nikinylons]

For me it was trying on mom's pantyhose for the first time at age 11. That lead to other things like her dresses, leotard, panties, bra and it all felt euphoric. WOW! and even today years later it's still WOW! As for what triggered my dressing to evolve like it has, I have to say that I was raised around and have always admired classy women. It's probably the reason why I have always had more female friends than male. After my young horn dog years, I realized that when I saw a classy lady in pantyhose, heels, nice make up, dress, etc that I wanted to be her rather than do her. Enter my wife who also has an equal love for pantyhose and everything has evolved from there. Without the love, mentoring, and support from her all of these years my dressing never would have evolved. Today it's everything from breast forms to nails and everything in between. I love the transformation process and cherish my time in front of the mirror getting ready making sure it's just right. Through it all, my natural fem tendencies have evolved too and classy ladies, CD's, etc are still my heroes. Who would have thought a silky, sexy garment like pantyhose would unlock so much inside some of us. I'm not sure why it did but am thankful for it all.

[DarLynn]

For me it started when I was 10 and all the girls in school would wear leotards and tights in gym class the way they looked in them and the body I longed to look like that. I would sneak to my cousins dresser and go into her bathroom and wear her clothes. Eventually I would buy my own leotard and tights and was hooked into being a crossdresser ever since and I'm still to this day still wearing dance clothes heels makeup wigs thinking I am a dancer

[GretchenM]

For me, I was about 6 or 7 when I began to sense a feeling that I wasn't really a boy. The feelings would come and go. I preferred playing with the girls, but also played with the boys. As those feelings materialized and became stronger I starting playing with my mother's things. They felt good and I felt more comfortable as if I was now being the real person I was. But the feelings would turn on and turn off over time. When the feminine feelings came I had this uncontrollable urge to look like I felt - get out of the boy clothes, and put on something feminine. Then I got caught. In spite of the shame I felt in crossdressing I still had to do it when the feelings got strong. And the rest is, as they say, history - a long, long history. For the most part, it is a history you have heard many, many times. Interesting how we all seem to more or less follow the same general pattern but with our own individual variations here and there. Seems to me, that is evidence that this behavior might not involve a lot of choice and is present in the fundamental behavior patterns of some people that, when exposed to certain circumstances, produces a similar response. Like a predisposition that starts out turned off but once turned on can't be turned off. Depressive predispositions work that way. Hmmm, maybe some forms of gender variance are also predispositions we are born with as a result of some tiny genetic or developmental error. Some believe it is all imaginary or delusional. For me and I suspect for most of us girls it is in no way imagination. I think, for those who have only one steady gender and have never strayed from that, it is hard to understand what it is like to have your gender sense switch or smoothly glide from one gender sense to another. It is one of those things that you just have to experience to understand.

Gretchen

[Lisa Roberts]

Gretchen, that was spot on. How many of have the exact same story. I especially appreciate the line, "to look like I feel". Spot on !
Lace and Smiles!
Lisa

[Lily Catherine]

I really don't know. I think there are greater issues than just the clothes - the wrapper of the sweet.

I reckon I can trace back certain things like a curiosity about full skirts, admittedly wanting to be made up and dress like the girls in the Chinese dance troupe in primary school, seizing every single opportunity to crossdress at the expense of my humiliation (even up to recently), to which I had since become completely impervious. I think all these are but incidental side effects.

Is it a lust for beauty, narrowly defined towards femininity? I should think not. I'm probably now more well dressed as a man than I generally am as a woman. I don't think I'm 'hot', let alone 'pretty'. I was simply raised to dress presentably; of course I ended up running wild initially when I was free to crossdress. I think the girls' clothing section as a child also had a gigantic draw for me, at least before I had any idea what 'dressing for comfort' was. I did have to rediscover men's clothing anyway, as I had my own income of sorts thanks to national service, and learnt to dress up properly while out.

Everything up to that brave new world opening up to me was a confused mess of wondering what actually sexually aroused me, while simultaneously resenting the very manifestation of arousal and what it stood for.

[brittdoll]

I blame it on my avatar and how much he seemed to be having fun with it.