Does being "read" means being recognized ?

[JeanDoe]

I was just wondering about one simple thing. Most of us are afraid of being recognized when going out CDing close to our neighborhood. Chances are that we will be read. It ain't easy to pass. However, even if we are read by someone we know, does that mean that she/he will recognize us? Isn't part of the answer in our own reaction to recognize that person? If we accept the possibility of meeting an acquaintance, isn't it going to reduce our reaction and thus reduce our chances of being recognized?

Well, just a bit of behavioral science for tonight... Anyone cares to share her thoughts here?

[Teresa]

Jean,
The two don't always go together, someone may know you but your appearance is so out of context they may think they are mistaken. Even my own daughter told me when she saw my picture that she would probably pass me in the street and not recognise me . We may not pass as a woman but we may pass as a different person. part of the problem in your own neighbourhood is people recognising the car if you are driving.

[Jenniferathome]

Context is critical. Teresa is right on that. I am not recognizable alone. But if I was sitting with my wife, one is likely to think, "Well, she's with a dude who is cross dressing. Why would she be hanging with a cross dresser? Maybe thats...."

[Rachael Leigh]

Jennifer is right on, I'm pretty sure most who know my male side would not recognize me in girl mode, but if I was with
someone they knew and I knew in male mode yes it's possible.
The neighbor hood thing is tricky though I don't think about it much and hope no one has even noticed

[Cheryl T]

As Jennifer said, if you were alone you might be viewed as a crossdresser, but even then most would not recognize you. The first image initiates perception so your feminine presentation generates the thought "that's a woman". Then detail kicks in and something says, wait, that doesn't fit my usual image of a woman, what's different? So the analysis takes a little time and once they've decided you are not a woman then they also have to see beyond the hair and makeup to compare you to images they have stored of familiar faces.
The fact is that most won't take the time to do that. They will just note, that's not a woman and move on. If you don't speak (assuming your voice is not really feminine) then they won't know. If you are with someone that they do know then they will reach the conclusion of who you are much more quickly. That's why when my wife and I are out somewhere if either spots someone familiar that one of us goes off in a different direction or my wife will very vocally announce that person so that I can hear and drift away before I'm seen.

[Kandi Robbins]

Go out away from your home. I generally feel very comfortable about 10 miles from home. Yes, you will absolutely be read. As has been stated here so many times, we are not woman and there are so many tell tale signs that give us away. That said, you can still go out and be treated as a woman. I do it frequently and no one walking this earth thinks I am a woman. The only way some one will figure out who you are is if they have the opportunity to study you (and of course, know you) and that would take quite some doing. If we live our lives in complete fear (and I, too, don't want neighbors and friends knowing), then our lives become so empty. Be smart, dress appropriately and get out there!

[NancySue]

Jennifer, is correct. This is why if we go out, it's way, away. By myself, no problems so far. I've had enough "small world" encounters that concern us. Recognition is our biggest fear. In our community, the consequences would be devastating. Even so, I continue to go out. Que sera, Que sera.

[ellbee]

However, even if we are read by someone we know, does that mean that she/he will recognize us?

Not always.

Some of us look like our own selves simply wearing women's clothing & make-up; some of us look like our sister (or would-be sister if we don't have one); and some of us, including myself sometimes, can look nothing like our guy-selves.


One Halloween years ago, a bunch of my friends & co-workers got together for a night of clubbing. GG's, a couple gay males (including a drag queen who dressed up), and myself. I was all dolled-up as a chick wearing a costume.

We all met up at someone's home first. The last to arrive was a guy who was a co-worker of mine for several years -- in the same department, no less. Nobody told him I was going to be there.

And when he did arrive, I was introduced as "my friend Laura." Nothing! No big grin & "Holy crap, man... Heck of a costume!"

Turns out that he genuinely had no idea who it was! :laughing:

Granted, he did know I was a guy -- but I knew there was a chance I wasn't going to pass that night, especially when standing 2 feet away in a brightly-lit room.

And remember, this was a guy who I worked with 40+ hours a week, for several years, in the same department in an office setting. :confused3:


So, they won't always necessarily recognize you (but still clock you as a dude). Really depends on how well you can transform yourself.

[Michelle (Oz)]

On several occasions I've been grocery shopping and passed people in the isles I know quite well from my male life. They have looked at me but not recognised me.

It really doesn't surprise me given the extent of the transformation.

[Tracii G]

I have been seen but not recognized by my own daughter and son in law.
The reason was because my daughter would not be expecting to see her Dad enfemme so she saw the wig,clothes,shoes and thought female.
Its normal for you to think everyone will be watching you but most people aren't.

[Meghan4now]

Well, context may certainly play a part, but I would also say if you have distinctive feature, or voice, and you do not draw attention away from them, then the probability is higher. If you change hair color, then the probability decreases. Also shape and cleavage may impact the perception. So how your dressed will also accent or hide features. But it will also depend on how well you know the person and how perceptive they are. So many variables to consider.

Maybe don't go to places your likely to run into someone you know is good advice. Then you need to own the risk, and be ready for the result if you do. For most people, being recognized may not be great, but it may also not be the end of the world either. Easy to say, harder to believe.

[Jodi]

The giveaway will be your voice and your mannerisms, not your femme appearance.

jodi

[Alice_2014_B]

One could be read, but not recognized as a particular person.
:)

[IleneD]

I had a great example yesterday of "being read"; and I was in guy mode shopping.
My shopping outfit was primarily male clothes: jeans, shirt/pullover sweater, boots; but I was outwardly wearing modest gold ear hoops and a splash of pink lipstick (that wasn't normally visible unless inside my personal space.)
I entered a womens clothing store, J. Jill, and poked around the front of the store for a few seconds before the SA called out from the back "Shopping for someone else or for yourself?" I don't know if she was making a joke or "made me". The only thing she could have seen from that distance was my earrings.

As she approached I told her, " Oh, you'd be surprised." Soon she was upon me, and close enough to recognize I was in lipstick. I took one look at her face and knew she "got it". I registered with her. "I've bought womens clothes for myself before, dear, but today I'm shopping for my wife."

Her name was Julia. Fantastic SA. Dressed smartly in a nice black top with pleated skirt, worn with leggings and heels. Very sexy demeanor and a husky slow voice. While I didn't ask, I got the feeling she had escorted a CD around her store before. The personal attention was flattering.

BUT.... as far as being "made"? I live in a metro area of 3 million people. I could go out shopping naked and no one would know my name or care less. I'm not afraid of people associating my name with cross dressing. I could put my face on a billboard and no one around here would even know.
And if strangers "figure me out" [which is quite easy, BTW].... in my opinion, it's half of the fun of going out.

[Rachael Leigh]

I had what for me was an unusual experience at being read just today, I was out doing my normal shopping and walking into Walmart I'm getting my buggy to shop with and I think I heard a guy who walked by me say to his wife "that's a guy"
I really was not bothered by it but what was strange is how quickly a guy especially was able to notice and determine that
quickly. Ok I understand I don't pass all that well but wow it just surprised me.
You can see in my picture how I was dressed, blending in I think
You just never know I guess
Leigh

[Nikki.]

In regards to going out away from home: my wife and I took a weekend trip away a month or two ago. I so wanted to dress and just be out and about en femme, but I'm still not there yet. We were around 100 miles from home in a remote location, in a town of maybe 500-800 people, touristy. We walked into a restaurant for lunch and I heard my name. I turned and saw someone from work. Had I been in drag it would not have been good. At all.

[Becky Blue]

I once had the opportunity to dress for an office party with the theme outrageous. Small company of about 25 people. My wife was away and my daughter suggested going dressed as a woman...had to make sure no one suspected anything particularly my daughter. I got her to help me and made sure I really looked awful and nothing like Becky at all, I looked very much like me as a guy in a dress and a bad wig. Rang the doorbell and a woman who I worked with everyday for the last 5 years looked at me blankly and said can i help you? After shocking her I joined the party where not one of my work colleagues recognised me.

Even a poor wig, half makeup and a dress is great camouflage.

[immindy]

Meghan mentioned "cleavage". I am blessed with B cups that make some nice cleavage with a good push up bra. It is very true that guys tend to focus down there and less at my face . So doubt if anyone I know would recognize me. Most of you have awesome legs so a nice above the knee skirt will draw some attention there. My wife and I have observed that , during the summer, when I show more skin I seem to pass better . So if you got something have fun and show it off . You may pass better and most likely wont be recognized by those who know you in guy mode !

[Krisi]

You can be "read" and not be recognized. A lot depends on how well you pull it off. For example, one of the advantages of wearing a wig is that you can make your hair longer and different color fro your natural hair. A style that covers more of your face (such as bangs) helps. Feminine glasses help and of course, makeup helps. Boobs and hips help.

Some members here go out in public in a dress and make no attempt to conceal their identity. They will be both read and recognized.

[Judith96a]

Interesting question. Like others, I'm not particularly bothered by being read - that's just something that goes with the territory! I am, however, very concerned not to be recognized. I reckon that the chances of being recognized depend on both context and how well the recognizer knows you. Probably both need to come together.

A couple of anecdotes...
Some years ago I was standing on the platform at Earl's Court tube when I heard two women talking behind me. I recognised the voices instantly as being an old flame and her elder sister (who had been in my class at school only a few years earlier). I managed to casually shuffle through the crowd down the platform so that I was more behind them. All they saw was my back so I'm pretty sure that I was neither read nor recognized but I'm 100% certain that if they had seen my face, even in profile, both of them would have recognized me (and probably taken great glee in making a fuss and telling tales back home).

A few months ago my wife, who doesn't know about Judith, accidentally tripped over an old photo of Judith. I nearly had a coronary on the spot! "Who's that?, Looks like a man dressed as a woman" says she. "Uh?", says i, rapidly clicking on the next photo (and surreptitiously deleting the offending photo in the process). And the conversation returned to what we'd originally been talking about! Phew!

[CarlaWestin]

-I've had neighbors in different neighborhoods ask me if my sister was staying with me or using my car.
-I've walked right past work acquaintances at the mall, undetected.
-And, my daughter's friend asked her who the smokin' hot chic on her computer was. She replied, "It's my Dad."

[janeycdbbw]

Being read and being recognized would depend on the situation and who sees you. Certainly if someone you don't know reads you,then there should be no recognition except as just being read as CD, TG, or whichever you deem yourself. Wow, I'm wading in deep on this one.

[Charlotte1971]

I think it depends on your own reaction if you run into someone you know. If you show facial expressions that will communicate to someone you recognize them, they are going to go to work mentally to place you.

[BettyMorgan]

I was in my car waiting to turn at the intersection at the end of our block. I knew my long time GF was on her way home and by coincidence saw her turning onto our street driving the opposite direction to me. She drove around the corner of the intersection very slowly and stared at me. I thought that was odd (her driving so slow), but carried on thinking about the strange look on her face when I waved to her. When I got home, she said, "I saw your car but didn't recognize you. I wondered, who's driving his car??! Then I realized it was you." Hence the odd look she gave me. lol
Long story short, sometimes even the person you are most familiar with may not recognize you. And yes, I fooled her another time. That time I was in her car.

[ReineD]

Being read:

1. Among people who don't know you: they know you are a man who is presenting as a woman.

2. Among people who do know you: they recognize you, and so obviously they know you are a man who is presenting as a woman.

But, not everyone has the ability to read you right off the bat. Most people don't pay close attention to the strangers around them while they're out. Also, it depends on how long their eyes gaze upon you. If they pass you by on the street, there is less chance of being read than if they are sitting across from you in a restaurant. Last, some people are more adept at reading gender cues and facial recognition than others.

The minute you interact with someone though, you'll be read unless you've absolutely mastered the voice.

[AllieSF]

Meghan4 makes a good point when mentioning "distinctive features". So you can be read as a male of women's clothing, but sometimes the person underneath is not recognized. Many people have distinct features, like a nose, lip smirk, chin shape, eyes, etc. I tend to look more at the mouth than the eyes when talking with someone, and then remember that area of the face and remember that before remembering the name the next time we meet.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I would say that to be recognized means that you are not making any effort in the hair, makeup,w ardrobe departments or all of the above. Just look at the boy vs. girl pictures in the picture forum. Even when you know it's the same person it's hard to tell side by side. I agree with the other factors that could give you away. It's for that reason that I have always owned a car that I can use when dressed that blends as well as I want to. I have my wife's old '05 Lexus RX330 in light blue with ordinary plates that even she does not remember. I'd never go out in my '09 Mustang GT with vanity plates. I can't tell you how many people say they saw me on the road in that car. I also told my daughters years ago that we could not go out together for the same reason when I was dressed. I look nothing like my drab self and I like it that way but they always look the same.

[AllieSF]

Stephanie, Do you really mean that someone who may be recognized is not putting in enough effort? That sounds like you expect everyone to be able to put in that special extra work and then blend right in. I can, but a large percentage of us ladies cannot, no matter how much work, help and expertise they have. Some people are just recognizable no matter what they do. I am not talking about a quick glance, nor super close inspection face to face. But a long enough glance or review from across the room, like at a store or restaurant.

[Helen 2]

Several weeks ago I posted the story of visiting 'en femme' the same Starbucks where I get coffee eeeeevery day on my way to work and one of the baristas did not recognize me at all, until I spoke in my regular voice. Five feet from me for a minute or more and she flat-out did not recognize me at all.
I suspect that once people know you well, they associate you with a certain look and, even if we might not pass, the look we present when en femme is so different from their 'imbedded view' of you, that you are very, very likely not to be 'made'

[Beverley Sims]

I have been to many places wher I have been known.
I have been read on some occasions but I have always had to introduce myself to those that already knew me.

I think the association of clothing makes it difficult.
Only close family members would know.