Maybe think twice

[Nigella]

While in Macy's I had to use the restroom and was so scared. But I put my big girl panties on and went in to the ladies room! The ladies in there were so nice and didn't care in the slightest. I have a pic from the ladies room hehe

The highlighted part of this quote, made by a member of this forum, really struck me as ammunition for the haters. In recent months there has been a lot of discussion on restrooms and who should use which ones.

Whilst I do acknowledge that this has been taken out of context of the original post, it will still give the ammunition to those who don't want trans in the "wrong" bathroom when a trans person really makes a comment like this.

Maybe we should think twice about what we say.

[Ressie]

I've taken selfies in the ladies before, but I was completely alone and it was gay bar. Other than that, taking photos in the ladies' is a really bad idea IMO.

[Rachael Leigh]

When I read this thread I had a similar thought and was thinking oh how anyone could take this wrong and say see their one is taking a picture. I'm not a pervert because if I go into the ladies room while presenting as a women I just want to be
safe do my business and move on. I respect cis women and total understand their fears

[immindy]

Yea, I agree . If we are seen taking pictures in the restroom it might be threatening to someone. The only social contact I have ever made , in the restroom, is smiling at someone as I quickly wash my hands and go out.

[Stephanie47]

Maybe you're overreacting. Maybe it is no more than a "badge of courage." My perception based on information gleaned from my wife is ladies' rooms only have stalls. I would suppose the picture was taken with no women present. Heck, if the haters were perusing this site, and, I am willing to wager there are trolls among the members who are not cross dressers, transgender men and women, who view us as perverse.

The "hehe" was a little much.....like a little kid snitching an extra cookie off the plate. How many threads and postings of pictures are there of cross dressing men trying on dresses in the women's changing areas with GG's and probably minor females also in the area? "Egads!" "My wife and daughter went to Kohl's and there was a man trying on dresses when my wife and daughter were also there in the same area dressed in a bra and panty?" People with an axe to grind about cross dressers and transgender women do not need that additional comment to irk the crap out of them....the already have a lot of hate.

Better not see any 'selfies' posted here of anyone reapplying their lip color in the ladies' room. Or the changing areas in Kohl's, JC Penny, Macy's, Sears, ya da, ya da, ya da.

[Micki_Finn]

I would say that regardless of gender issue, it's just not polite to be taking pictures in the restroom. It's a place where people have an expectation of privacy. Seems like basic manners to me.

[BettyMorgan]

1. Two thousand years from now the people of the Earth will dig up our long dead hard drives and discover that public and private bathrooms of all kinds were very important to us since they will discover millions of photos of females in front of bathroom mirrors.
2. Narrow minded haters who don't want trans in the bathrooms will find and use ammunition of any type whether or not it makes any rational sense.
3. I have never had an issue with bathrooms but I won't spend the time taking a photo in one. Pee, wash hands and lipstick touch up is my limit.

[Tracii G]

OK I have to say why on earth would a trans person even want to take a pic in a bathroom?
Sad thing is the intention would be to rub it in the straight peoples faces and that is wrong IMO.
Its not a competition to see how many bathrooms you can take pic in.
There are vengeful idiotic trans people too.

[Sara Jessica]

Some see it (wrongly) as a rite of passage.


Pathetic.

[AllieSF]

Sad thing is the intention would be to rub it in the straight peoples faces and that is wrong IMO.

Tracii, I do not believe that is the prime reason at all. Some may do that, but when out dining or at an event or bar, many times the lighting and mirror size offer an opportunity to take a decent selfie showing face and much more of the body and outfit being worn. Thus, to me, it is more to document that they were out and here is a picture that they liked. I have used restroom mirrors for that a few times. Mine were taken in single and lockable women's restrooms. I have seen GG selfies taken in restrooms when alone or with others in the room. They like what they see and take a pic. Not everyone is sensitive to doing that.

[Meghan4now]

Ashamedly, I will admit to a couple of bathroom selfies or photos, but only because the lighting and setting was better than the dark club I was in, and I didn't want to disturb others by taking photos in a crowded area. Not really a rite of passage.

[Sara Jessica]

Not really a rite of passage.

Just so there is no misunderstanding, my comment about rite of passage had to do with the limited quote in the OP...


While in Macy's I had to use the restroom and was so scared. But I put my big girl panties on and went in to the ladies room! The ladies in there were so nice and didn't care in the slightest. I have a pic from the ladies room hehe

Scared? OK, I suppose a degree of nervousness would be common the first time we venture into the ladies room.

The ladies in there were nice and didn't care. Are we certain of that? In this post-heightened-awareness-of-TG-in-ladies-room world we live in, gosh knows what the fallout might have been. I've never really lingered in a ladies room to mingle with others long enough to find out if they are nice or don't care in the slightest. I recognize that I am in a sacred space and can be seen as an unwelcome presence. This isn't "I am TG, hear me roar" in order to make a point. The more invisible we are is actually a positive, especially if another woman might read one of us after the fact and say to herself, "I saw her in the restroom just a bit ago, I had no idea..." which in turn will help to support the notion that we have been in ladies room for years and most women had no idea.

And finally...

I have a pic from the ladies room hehe

This is what leads me to believe it was seen as a rite of passage. Not "I took a picture because the lighting was better" or anything remotely similar. Instead, it was like "I have a trophy picture to prove that I was in the ladies room".

hehe. :sad:

[Shelly Preston]

Maybe it just me, but I cant understand why anyone would think the restroom is the right place for a picture.

There are thousands of place to take a picture , so why a rest room.

Normally here the advice is go in do what you have to and get out with the minimum of fuss.

You never know what can happen, I have had women start conversations with me.

Taking a selfie seems like to much of a gamble as it could lead to all sorts of trouble.

[Teresa]

If you look at Devorahk's thread , " Times are changing !"
The subject of this thread is made irrelevant , why would you want to pull up your big panties and brave it , then prove the point by taking a picture.

We must consider ourselves lucky we have the choice of facilities , some countries don't give you such luxuries .

[char GG]

Thanks to the OP for this posting.

Some women use the ladies room for changing their clothes, adjusting their underwear (while not in a stall) and crying. Personally, I don't care if a CD uses the ladies room but have some respect, take the pictures elsewhere.

[BillieAnneJean]

Well done Nigella!

Our Group, The Grand Illusions, goes OUT enfemme regularly. We advise our members on a Group OUTing to empty their bladders before they leave home, at the Meeting place where we gather, and anytime we are near a unisex or one person bathroom. We know their locations well. We also advise them to regulate their intake of liquids to make the bathroom trips predictable. Think it as a managed bladder program. This is the first line of avoiding any kind of bathroom problem.

In event that that a bathroom break is unavoidable and unisex or one person bathrooms are not available as first choice, we advise our members to be quick about it avoiding ANYTHING that could cause concern. Like eye to eye contact, dallying, peeping in the stalls through the gaps. Don't go in if it is busy. And get in, get out.

AND ALWAYS NEVER TAKE A CAMERA IN THERE!!!!!!!!!! If you have to take a camera in there, take the battery out and put the camera in your purse. If you have a smart phone, turn it all the way off. This way if you are confronted by security or an angry mob when you emerge, you can say and prove that every picture taking device is disabled.

Taking a picture in the women's toilet is just dumb!

[DIANEF]

I'd be far too nervous in a ladies room to even think of taking a picture, in and out as fast as possible.

[Lisa Roberts]

Agreed, not the place to take pictures. I understand the desire to be seen, but the Ladies room is not the place.
Lace and Smiles,
Lisa

[docrobbysherry]

I have been in some lovely, very well lit and mirrored ladies rooms. In nice restaurants and hotels. Mostly in Vegas. Once, I took some photos in a totally deserted one I used.

But, it has never occurred to me to take a photo in an occupied, or one that could be occupied, rest room of either gender!:straightface:

[Beverley Sims]

I must agree conduct yourself with decorum.
Protesting about restroom rights and men's rights to wear a dress only introduces militancy and fires up differing opinions.
If you do something and get away with it keep it quiet or don't shout too loudly.

[Krisi]

"Maybe we should think twice about what we say. "

Maybe we should think twice about what we do.

If you get such a thrill going in a public women's restroom that you feel compelled to take a picture, you may be a pervert, the very thing people worry about.

Go in, do your business and get out. No cameras, no photos. If you want a picture of yourself sitting on the toilet, do it at home.

[Stephanie Julianna]

It's amazing how, for all the acceptance this bathroom thing has somehow become an issue for the LEFT. When dressed or not I still have to go to the bathroom. I've been using the ladies room for years without issue. It is a "right of passage" for me. Passing my bowels.

[Krisi]

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook: "Trannies and transsexuals have been using the women's bathrooms for years without issue. It's only been since they demanded to be able to use the girls locker rooms in schools that it's become an issue".

As far as I know, he is neither, he just wrote what he thought. It's pretty much the truth though.

[Tracii G]

I never worried about using the ladies room while in girl mode until all the news of the NC bathroom bill came up.
It seems when one group of people start to demand things it screws things up for everyone else.
When the Target store thing was big news I was shopping emfemme there and I had to pee so I went to the ladies room
Nothing happened and it was just like it always was.

[Judith96a]

It's the gloating about having taken a photo that bothers me. A crossdresser in the 'ladies' is, to a greater or lesser degree, on foreign territory. Bragging about it online and posting the photographic evidence just gives ammo to those who claim that were all dangerous perverts. And, when the troublemakers do get their hands on the evidence, no-one, least of all the gentlemen of the press, will give a hoot as to where they got said evidence. That will be ignored in the communal glee at having finally gotten 'proof'.
So, while we all like to tell how we got in, did our thing and got out again without issue and maybe even with a smile from the other users if the 'facilities', leave the camera switched off. There is only one exception. There are a very few, very high end establishments where taking photos in the 'ladies' is positively encouraged (part of the experience of being in the establishment). They are very few and far between!

[ellbee]

The ladies in there were nice and didn't care. Are we certain of that?

I'm not "picking on" the OP -- but I see that "they don't care!" thing a lot here from many in all kinds of scenarios.


Maybe all of them truly didn't care. Entirely possible. There are quite a few understanding GG's out there.

Or, maybe one or more did care, but not enough to raise a public stink about it at the time (pun not intended :D ). I mean, put yourself in their shoes... You're a GG using the restroom, and some guy(?) comes in. You have no idea who he is, what exactly his motivations are, what kind of mood he's in, what makes him tick, etc. Would *you* start something? Or would you keep your mouth shut, finish up your biz, and get the heck out of there?


Anyway, you have no idea what was going through their heads, either during or afterwards. You have no idea if they talked about it to their friends/husband/whatever later that day, either in person, on the phone, on Facebook, whatever -- and what exactly that conversation entailed. Maybe it was a first for *them*, too, & caught them off-guard, and perhaps they even now have a "game-plan" for the next time that happens.

Or not.


But to automatically assume they don't care (implying that they're cool with it all), just because nothing was said at the time? Silly, IMO.


Anyway, probably best to keep one's selfies to the men's room. ;) :laughing:

[Lorileah]

The ladies room (or dressing room or locker) is often the only semi-private area with a mirror where someone can take a photo. It takes seconds to do and so far I haven't seen any indication of anyone else around. I have seen photos of GGs in restrooms taking group selfies.

Personally, I won't but there are a lot of things I won't do that seem to be common for the community. Yes, I hate that it does reflect on me and have stood up against it on occasion. But what else to do? My photos are arm length selfies, usually alone and in public places just to show I am out and about. I may have done a mirror selfie in a restroom a long time ago...I don't really remember. Usually, it is at a table in a bar/restaurant. Boring I know but it helps me know I can be out and enjoying myself AND reinforces how I present (I also use my cell phone as a mirror for checking and correcting my makeup).

If the intent is prurient, I can see the outrage. But usually all I see is someone trying to get a record that they were out and dressed and they used the full length mirror to do it.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
I feel you friend should keep his comments to himself if that's what he thinks I'm ashamed to say that you think it's true !

It might have better if you chose to support our TG community rather than denigrate it .

[Sara Jessica]

Teresa, there is actually some merit to Krisi's point. Many of us, and I'm sure countless others have been using the ladies room respectfully for years. Now that it has become a front-burner issue, the Muggles have made it out to be a nefarious act which has put us all in the spotlight. We had to be mindful before, now we must be beyond careful.

[Becky Blue]

I am in Australia where clearly the Bathroom issue is not a big deal, and therefore perhaps I have a slightly different perspective, but I have also been out 20 times in San Francisco where using the ladies was never a problem.

I think the is no hard and fast rule about taking a picture in the ladies if it is empty, or if the other people that may be in the room are OK with it. i don't think that it is any different if you were a guy presenting as a guy in the mens. It is all about respecting other people's space no matter how we are presenting.

The OP said the ladies in the room were nice and didn't care so presumably they were cool with the photo.

[Nigella]

I have no opinion on the rights and wrongs of "selfies" in a bathroom/washroom setting. Each individual should use their own judgement. The purpose of the thread is the fact that a comment was made that made it seem so "cheap".