Man in a dress or the inside woman?

[Gen D]

A subject the bothers me in the last day (after another meeting with my wif (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?245730-Wife-and-fem-me-second-meeting)e).
When you get dressed, are you "A man in a dress", the same as you are all the time only in a different cloths (and a wig, breast, make up....) or do you become "The Inside woman" that hides in our every day life?
I am sure that it different for each one and that there are even more "ways" to be then just those two.
So, let's hear you - what is it for you?

[leannejacobs]

I tend to be a man in a dress with my wife, I do walk like a girl etc. But I make no attempt at a fem voice, it would be too much I think, she is good with me being dressed around her, I don't want to push my luck.

[Jenniferathome]

I'm a dude 24/7. I happen to dress like a woman from time to time but my brain doesn't change. I don't have an "inner" woman. I do have an inner cross dresser.

[Raychel]

Same for me, I am just a guy, that prefers to dress in women's clothes.
I really prefer my looks when dressed in women's clothes.

Really dont like the way I look as a guy, :sad:

but inside I am still the same person, all guy

[ClosetED]

This has been gone over in other threads but I wonder if she is trying to ask if you are transsexual and feel you are a woman at all times and hide that fact from others.
I remain a man inside, but I do try, when dressed, to look feminine, act feminine, think more about society expects a woman to say or not say, as understood by an observant man.
Hard to say how my social interactions are doing, as I have only been with others at Tiffany Club once. Wife does not want to see or know about Ellen.
Hugs, Ellen

[Bruce64]

I am a Male attracted to Female clothing, I am not pretending to be a Woman nor do I want to be one.

[krissy]

Im a Man in a dress But when i put on the dress i want to look the part even though i dont look it in my minds eye i see me

[Tracii G]

I was born male but nothing about me is male

[AllieSF]

The only thing that changes for me is my outside presentation.

[sara66]

I am with the majority, dude in a dress.
Sara:heehee:

[Lucy23]

Definitely a man in a dress; there is no inner woman in me. I don't try to embrace feminine manners, voice, apply make-up, or attempt at specific walk in heels either. And as I have said elsewhere, even if I were given a complete makeover I would have trouble identifying as a woman. For me it's only the clothes. I would really love to wear them in my everyday life.

I love wearing bras though (38B), but that's as close to a feminine figure as I get. Other than that, the only thing that changes is that I either cross my legs or keep them close because of skirts and dresses, I never do that when I wear my ordinary clothes.

[NewBrendaLee]

For me its the woman in me getting to come out

[DIANEF]

I am also a man in a dress, although I want to look as femme as possible I never lose sight of the fact I am male. However, I would spend far more time than I do dressed if I could, even weeks at a time. As I get older the desire to dress seems to be getting stronger, which I find a little puzzling.

[Acastina]

I guess I'm an outlier on this topic. I'm an androgynous person dressed the way I prefer. If it's one or the other (because few societies accept in-betweens), I prefer the female side; always have. So "man in a dress" doesn't describe my self-view or internal sense at all. My living situation is outwardly cis-appearing because I love the female person who married me knowing about my conflicts from Day One and still has never flinched about it after 15 years, because our economic and social circumstances allow few alternatives at our advanced ages, because I'm a grownup capable of patience and discretion, and because I know all too well what a minefield transitioned life can be.

When I'm presenting as male, that's the mask for me. "Man", applied to me, makes me cringe every time.

[MissJoanne]

For me, it's very much a case of becoming a woman so far as is practicably possible, to the point that a therapist who knows both of us told me that it was like two different people. It's a complete "getting into the role". The guy is off doing something else. That's just how it is for me.

[Laurana]

Just a man in a dress.

[Tracy Irving]

Put another notch in my lipstick case for "man in a dress". I have little interest in pretending to be or look like a woman. I just want to wear the clothes. But I will try anything once.

[Abbie965]

It's a combination of both. Physically, a man in a dress, but then on the inside i feel, and want to feel, much more feminine. It's a strange, and very confusing state of mind.

[IleneD]

Read my Signature line.

Yes, I'm a man in a dress. I rationally know I am a man, not a physical genetic woman. I'm NOT a woman and can't BE a woman. I don't wish to be a woman. I've observed the life cycles of real human females through my mother, wife and daughters, and gained tremendous wisdom and insight by it. The real lives of real women are far more tough than looking pretty; which is the piece of womanhood I grab for myself.

BUT......
There is a force inside me; an inner voice. It's distinctly female but it's MY voice. I don't believe myself disturbed, schizophrenic or otherwise mentally ill either. It's not a separate being living within me. It's not a woman trapped in my man's body. I never had a separate female name for my inner femme being until I needed one on the Forum. It's Me.
And it's amazing how and when she - this spirit within me - moves me and even serves me. [I've been in a handful of life threatening, near death situations and almost every time the hand and voice that guided me was Her. It would take a lot of beers and time to relate the many sea stories and comical anecdotes of when my inner "Woman" took charge.

Something animates my desire to assume a female form and I know its internal. If I knew the source of it, I'd crack the code to my attraction to women's clothing. Like many of you, I find it quite difficult to adequately relate that sense of inner woman and how it feels; yet I know "she" exists

[bridget thronton]

I do not believe I have two people inside me - love the cloths but they do not change the persin

[Louise DK]

There is no woman inside me, Im a man, no More no less, allso when i've stuffed myself in to a dress, heels, makeup, wig and what have you. I dont have a shift in interest when I dress, I still order parts for my car or motorcycle, or read a book about WWII.

I have, since i was a kid, allways been facinated by women and their beauty and Grace and their fashion. In fact Im so facinated by it all that i want to try it for my self, or play along if you will. And I Find the transformation facinating and liberating.

But I just dont know why it has such a huge impact on my mood and general wellbeing, when Im deprived from dressing up for a longer period of time. But I like it, I think it's Great fun.

They say that imitation is the biggest compliment. So I guess in a sense Im trying show my great appresiation of woman. However I know that unfortunatly, to some, it can come across as a mocking of women, wich is sad because thats the last thing I would ever want to do.

Louise.

[suzanne]

When I am dressed, I am ME i n my fullest, most complete form. I am not fully at peace unless both sides of me are allowed to participate in my life. In my day, I was given a full helping get of male privilege and, quite frankly, a part of me enjoys it. Now, though, when I have a chance to express my femininity, I get a feeling that the life force of the universe is permitted to flow through me and nourish me. When I'm in male mode, that life force flows around me rather than through me and I feel more isolated.

[KimberlyJean]

I am a practical woman who understands that I was born male. I am good at what I do and good at being a man but I have always felt like that is a role I have had to play my whole life. My particular brand of transgender dsyphoria is not severe enough to drive a transition or worse.

[ringedjohn]

I do not have an "inner woman" - I am just a man with breasts who likes to wear bras and panties.

[vicky_cd99_2]

I too fall into the dude in a dress category. While when dressed I do try to emulate a woman, mannerisms and the like. My brain still retains all my male factors such as situational awareness. And at 6'1" 240 pounds it is tough to disguise the fact that I am a dude in a dress.

[AllieBellema]

Even with as much as I put on to look as feminine as possible, I'm still a man in a dress. I'm not good with trying to sound more feminine voice wise and I'm pretty big for the dresses I wear. Doesn't stop me from enjoying them though!

[phili]

I 'm a man in a dress- and proud of it! I am feeling a lot of things that I would describe as feminine, just as many women feel many things that would be described in our culture as masculine. I want to wear feminine things when I am feeling feminine, and it is generally when relaxing or in reflective/observing pursuits, which approximates when women choose them as well- [ie. why wear a skirt when digging up the garden]

[Amy Fakley]

When I'm presenting as male, that's the mask for me. "Man", applied to me, makes me cringe every time.

Me too! At the end of the day, I just am who I am on the inside. I suppose it's a mix of stereotypically male and female attributes. I feel much happier, more at ease, and more natural expressing the female ones. When I dress the way I feel (feminine -- and appearing as convincingly female as possible), I'm not becoming someone different.

I'm just expressing a part of myself, that I typically keep hidden. It makes me feel happy! It makes me feel alive ... perhaps even euphoric on occasion. I don't understand why, but then again who among us does?!

Granted, it doesn't happen too often, but there are times I'm pleased to express the male aspects of my identity too. I think it's maybe going too far to describe myself as a "dude in a dress". Yes, I am aware that biologically that's what I am, but the whole reason I'm wearing a dress in the first place, is that there's not exactly what you'd call "a dude" inside the body wearing the dress.

[Aunt Kelly]

Beautifully put, Ilene.

I don't consider myself a woman. I don't feel I was born with the wrong physical gender. In an odd way, it kinda seems like that would be easier to accept, a better defined "box", perhaps. Instead, I have this inexplicable desire to adopt a feminine appearance, to make myself "pretty". Not that I would evoke that particular description in most observers, but then that's not why we do it.

Some time, we must compare sea stories. I'll buy the beers.

[Teri Ray]

I also fit into the "man in a dress" category. I still have no understanding of what drives the feelings I have or the desire to present as female. I do not feel I am the wrong gender, but like others I do experience periods of a strong desire to dress and present myself as female. I figure my personality drives me to do anything I do to the best of my ability. It strikes me that the same drive to "do my best" also fits when I am dressing. So when a dressing opportunity comes along I put forth the effort to display a feminine appearance. Its not easy based on what I have to work with. I guess I enjoy the challenge.

[IleneD]

Beautifully put, Ilene.

Some time, we must compare sea stories. I'll buy the beers.

Thanks, Kelly. You know... there's a certain romance living with The Mystery of "why". I just follow the call.
And... what part of Texas? I was an honorary Texan (so to speak) having living in Corpus (teaching aviators), and SAT (business) for many years. Loved my place on Padre. BZ, shipmate.

[Christina D]

For me, it's very much a case of becoming a woman so far as is practicably possible, to the point that a therapist who knows both of us told me that it was like two different people. It's a complete "getting into the role". The guy is off doing something else. That's just how it is for me.

This is me 100%! Well, I don't go to therapy, but if I did, I would hope that this is how I (we?) would be perceived. Beautifully put, Joanne, thank you! :-)

[Mark B]

I am 100% a man. I'd prefer to not wear makeup and a wig. I feel totally comfortable who I am. My wife is the one who is encouraging me to be more feminine so now I have breast forms, hip pads. I have to admit I do feel more sexier the more I look like a women.

[Helen_Highwater]

Tricky one this as I still have the same me there when I'm dressed but it's somewhat set to one side and a different me takes the lead.

Also while not wishing to get too deep on this, is there not a difference between being a man or a woman, male or female, and feeling male or female. Don't we learn those things during our upbringing? So the more we dress, the more we learn to behave female. In effect in "feelings" terms we become somewhat Bi. For those who go out with the intention of blending in then just being a man in a dress won't work. Walk and mannerisms are, even by females, learned so we learn them to. We're just selective as to when to use them. If I'm shopping enfemme and I interact with a SA, I do it differently. There's a thread running at the moment http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?245729-Do-you-talk-differently-in-girl-mode and those replying seen in general to have different dressed behaviors.

While when dressed my female feelings rise to the top, I know that if however some neanderthal picks on me my male self will quickly kick in. I may have on stilettos but I won't have forgotten how to throw a punch if needed.

[Periwinkle]

Definitely a man in a dress. I have no desire to be a woman. I just really like dressing up and looking pretty.

[GeorgeA]

As I said in several previous posts I have no desire to impersonate a woman. I am a man and when I dress in a skirt I don't even want for a moment to even vaguely resemble a woman. I dress in what I find most comfortable: skirts. I dislike trousers and if it wasn't expected of me to wear them, I wouldn't. That one aspect makes me even more different than women, as they, these days, prefer trousers to skirts. I do not wear wigs, jewellry, make-up, or paddings. I do not shave parts of my face.
I feel complete empathy with those who are different than I. As I get older I become bolder and venture on my porch to pick up newspapers or sit on my balcony. I live on a relatively busy street with lots of cars and transit buses going by, so, I expect that I was seen by some people. Whether they recognised me for what I am or not I have no way of knowing. I still am not brave enough to venture on the street dressed as I am.
I have gone to a couple of crossdressers meetings, and was warmly accepted as a man-in-skirts, even though they all looked like women. Of course, I travelled in drab and changed.

[Becky Blue]

When I am dressed I am most definitely NOT a man. When I dress in woman's clothes it is because I am feeling very feminine and feel the need to match my exterior with my feelings. Also there are times when I feel very feminine inside even thought I may not have the opportunity to dress as a woman.

[Beverley Sims]

Wearing a dress there is nothing masculine about me, I can shop for all the lingerie I like without any feeling other than will the bra be comfortable and the less than stiletto heels will be something I can walk a mile in.
When I go through the mens department it is because it is the shortest route to the ladies fashions.

As a man? I do the same thing but I still feel conscious of the fact I am not wearing a dress and I probably don't fit in as well when I am feeling the padded bras and looking for other fashion items.

[Krisi]

"A man in a dress" has a different meaning for me than it apparently does for you. When I think of a man in a dress, I think of a man who wears women's clothing but doesn't try to look like a woman. He may have a beard or bald head and that's his "thing".

When I dress, I try to present and act like a woman. The daughter my mother never had. Of course, that doesn't change my personality, my likes and dislikes, my taste in music or my social and political views. There's no split personality. It's Homer on the inside but Krisi on the outside.

[Judith96a]

Regardless of how I'm dressed I'm still me, with all the same interests, attitudes etc. However, I do behave slightly differently when I'm dressed as a woman. Some of the changes are enforced - eg you can't stride out the same way as you would in trainers & jeans when you're wearing a straight skirt and 4" heels. Others are more subtle (can't think of a good example offhand!) And other bits of behavior don't change, eg I find myself still giving way to and holding doors open for 'real' women.

[NylonMan]

I always try and pass. So As much as I can, I am the want to be women. Of course this doesn't always happen as I am not good at makeup and hiding my "Man" features, as in big hands, feet and bone structure.

[Liz57]

Just a man in a dress for me as well though there's a part of me that wishes I could mentally and emotionally cross that bridge. I really wish I could get into that frame of mind when the occasion arises

Liz:battingeyelashes:

[IleneD]

However, I do behave slightly differently when I'm dressed as a woman. Some of the changes are enforced - eg you can't stride out the same way as you would in trainers & jeans when you're wearing a straight skirt and 4" heels. .
Concur in full, Judith. It's almost incumbent to honor the dress. I mean, how could one possibly wear a dress land move about like a clod? No. The Dress demands a certain flow about it, the way it hangs. A walk, a grace about you; a manner and personal affect evolution is as important a part of the dress as undergarments, bra, stockings, etc.
Put on the dress. It just happens.

[Gen D]

I think I am still looking for what I want..
I do want to pass and look like a woman as much as I can. I do find myself act differently in same issues - poses for the camera for example, giving a big smiles to me throw the mirror and try to move more feminine.
And with all that said, it is strange for me to be just "man in a dress", but i don't feel like not a man in the same time....
I must say I am very confused...
I guess I need more time to keep processing (prefer dress... with my wife....)

[Julie MA]

Ilene, well said. I to am still a man, but love to feel, and free my inner, feminine. I feel more gentle and caring and loving when I can shed the learned male behaviors and hard shell I have built to hide her. Julie

[Sharon B.]

For me it is the inner woman when dressed as a woman although I am still in the closet. There are some things I do like about being a male but for the most part if I could turn back time after my divorce I would spend all of my free time as a woman.
It is hard at least for me to switch back and forth from having nail polish on my toenails to keep my body hair free. I want to grow my hair our but give in to peer pressure about getting it cut. I have more women's attire the men's clothes.

[Maria Blackwood]

Inner woman. I hate being male, I hate what our dippy culture expects me to be, and I would have been much happier had I been born female. I've never considered any sort of transition, though, because what currently exists along those lines doesn't remotely appeal to me. Anything less than a hypothetical chromosomal reboot is insufficient to me.

So I quietly, privately crossdress, not because I can't hope to pass (I can't), but because it serves my inner... not sure what to call it. "Need" doesn't parse correctly. I don't care about presenting myself in a certain way to the world. I don't think I'm explaining it well so I'll just stop here.

[sabrinaedwards]

I am so much more than a "man in a dress." The feelings that accompany me when dressed are so euphoric. I sometimes think that I would like to become a full time CDer. I've had an opportunity to be Sabrina for several days, and I hate to have to dress drab tomorrow.
Love, Sabrina

[Rachel Anne]

Whew...my man clothes are the "costume".

[Happygirl!]

For me it's definitely the woman inside, and I am fortunate that my wife accepts this side of me, both in and outside of the bedroom. It took me a while to accept this side of myself. Now how to deal with the manly man side which keeps roaring it's ugly face :)

[Ally 2112]

I always try to be a guy on the outside .The inside which i am still trying to figure out is all over the place and will probally always be

[Alisonforme]

There's a girl in me that loves coming out! But I look like a man in a dress :straightface:

[RainbowDash]

If I think of myself as a man in a dress, then it feels awkward, stupid, and not manly. But if I think of myself as a woman dressing up as a woman, then I not only get some enjoyment out of it, I get a whole lot, like I can't believe I look so good. I don't have to force myself either to pretend, it just comes natural, and I feel like a woman. What I mean is, I obviously cannot feel like a woman on the inside because I was born male, but on the outside at least I can feel like a sexy attractive woman, and that means a whole lot to me. So when I dress feminine, I guess u could say the woman inside of me is looking to break free and show herself off and feel proud and good of herself.