Danish Girl.. ???

[Joan.Meredith]

Hello,

I watched about half of the movie "The Danish Girl" last night. At one point my wife asked me why I looked so sad. I couldn't tell her at the time, I'm thinking about it this morning. And it's mainly due to the fact that I relate so much with how the story is told. I was wondering how many here have seen the movie and what their feelings are about it.

[Rachael Leigh]

Yes Joan I've watched the whole movie and at the end my emotion came to the surface and I cried,
As you I related in many ways to this very well made movie. I highly recommend it to all here in this group

[Amy Fakley]

Too damn close to home. Good movie, but I guess I just identified with it too much.
Watching it, filled me woth dread and sadness and paranoia ... in the end I just turned it off about half way through. I just couldn't take it anymore :-/

[Christina D]

I watched it for the first time a couple of months ago with my girlfriend. I hadn't yet told her that I was interested in crossdressing but had been thinking of doing so, so while I enjoyed it, it was a bit difficult to watch.

The part that got me the most was right near the beginning when his wife had him wear a dress and pose to complete her painting. When she leaves the room and looks down at his legs, rubs the fabric with his fingers, and starts to shake and sweat...urgh, it was too real.

[brenda girl]

All of us can relate to that movie

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Like Amy, I very recently watched approximately 1/2 of the movie ( believe it was showing on HBO ) and simply HAD to go to another channel. The coming of age from being a modeling cd and progressing to tg and later risking life with ts surgery was simply too emotional for me to view. Her evolution hit such an emotional responsive chord that I simply had to change the station to something much less challenging such as " family feud ". The portion of the movie that I digested was too real, challenging & scary. I would like to view it in its entirety when I can approach the movie with a better perspective.

[robbieatbest]

I enjoyed the film and connected to the cross dressing but can't relate to having an operation to have a womb put in her body. Looking up the "true" story is useful.
Robbie

[NancySue]

I have a wonderful supportive wife. We both watched the movie twice, followed by serious discussions. Our conclusions were that, for me, I could relate to the dressing part, but nothing more. I have or never have had any inkling to do any more than dress and look as feminine as possible. As complicated as our lives are, anything goes...follow your dreams wherever they take you. Best..

[Leslie Langford]

Not ever having experienced the degree of gender dysphoria that some of the responders here have to deal with - and still sitting firmly in the run-of-the-mill crossdressing camp - my reaction to the movie was not as emotional as some have described it.

If anything, I felt a profound sadness seeing the protagonist having a wife who was so understanding and supportive of "her" needs, even when she realized that for Lili to take her journey to its logical conclusion, it would change their relationship forever and eventually cause their marriage to disintegrate.

As someone firmly trapped in this purgatory known as "DADT", I can only dream of ever experiencing this level of empathy and support from my wife...

[Jenny22]

Robbieatbest referred to the book on which the movie was based. I read it many, many years ago. She wanted so much to be a complete female that the last operation(s) was to implant a uterus, felloppian(sp?) tubes and ovaries. She knew the risks. It was her body rejecting these female organs and infection, as I recall, that caused her death. To thine own self be true, I guess. With so many different organs being transplanted these days, and the great advancements of medical knowhow, the transplant of female organs will happen, one day.

[Tracii G]

Really a depressing film to me from the parts I saw of it.

[alwayshave]

I as well watched about half the movie and stopped as my fiancee came into the room. I am firmly in the CD camp and feel no need to transition. However, as that perhaps her only fear is that I want to transition or want men. So I stopped watching.

[Ressie]

I watched the whole movie. I like these kind of movies. True story and an important part of history IMO. I'm not TS, but I'm part Danish!

[Rogina B]

Tears...It seemed like the entire back and forth between husband and wife was so the same as we[ my wife and I] had shared..It would have been a great movie even without the ending.Glad you saw it !

[Leslie Langford]

Robbieatbest referred to the book on which the movie was based. I read it many, many years ago. She wanted so much to be a complete female that the last operation(s) was to implant a uterus, felloppian(sp?) tubes and ovaries. She knew the risks. It was her body rejecting these female organs and infection, as I recall, that caused her death. To thine own self be true, I guess. With so many different organs being transplanted these days, and the great advancements of medical knowhow, the transplant of female organs will happen, one day.

Uterus, Fallopian tube, and ovary transplants have already been done - but only female-to-female so far. It's only a matter of time before that is added to the menu of modern-day GRS surgery options as well...

[Devi SM]

I wanted to watch when was in the teathres but I didn't find it, so two months later we watched with my wife.
In those days I haven't told her that I'm bisexual and crossdresser so the movie was a romantic tragedy for her, my wife loves romantic movies.
Later, when I told her the truth I could use the movie in my favor and help me to she could in part understand me.
I experience similar feeling as Lili in the movie.

[Georgette_USA]

Saw this when it first came out with friends. A Non-Op TG a CD and wife and myself. This wasn't bad as Bio picks go. Some changes from actual to shorten content.

I could see where the CD and wife found some points disturbing, as in when Lili's wife wished for her husband back at times.

I understood her drive to become the woman she felt to be. She was one of the real pioneers for all future TS.

[IleneD]

Joan,

Curious. What's your current situation with your wife? Are you open about your crossdressing, or is it still your inner secret?
That lens adds an entirely different perspective on your reaction and how you were unable to tell your wife about your sadness. It would make perfect sense to me, if you've already come-out, to use the movie theme as an opportunity to talk about how you identified with the character(s).

[barbara gordon]

I saw this movie when it came out in theaters . I went fully dressed as my girl self ,i got there in a cab and talked the whole way with the driver about how life is great and full of good surprises. it was cold as hell that night but i was warm with the idea of doing this adventure . As part of our plan , I met my supportive girlfriend at the theater she got there from work . . It was her idea that we see this together in a theater , and it was her idea that i be fully dressed enfemme .

We sat through the movie and watched as it reminded us of some details that are so very specific to the cd trans experience -- from both perspectives of the husband to that of his wife. .

I think it was a beautiful movie that gives only a small glimpse into all of this . two hours is barely enough time to get this kind of story out , but they did very well in doing so. I was happy to see the topic brought to mainstream movie goers.

[Emily Ann Brown]

The movie way to close to home, just like Normal was. Just for information.. the girls are am close to find after along time on hormones they sexual partner interest changes. Em

[Milli Montanari]

I saw it at the movies with my DADT wife hoping it might provoke fruitful conversations. But I was dismayed by Lilli's callous treatment of his wife. The wife so obviously still loved him but he treated her appallingly in my opinion. (Sorry about the pronouns). What we both really loved about the movie was its painterly backgrounds. They were just glorious. In the end the fruitful conversations I'd daydreamed about didn't happen.

[Joan.Meredith]

IleneD,

To answer your question. Yes, I'm out to my wife. She is even supportive, yet she has asked me to "please" don't take it all the way to GRS. She seems to be OK with FFS, and Top Surgery, just not bottom surgery. That is why I'm sad, because for the longest that is what I've wanted. For it to be gone, I've lost count of the journal entries that have that statement in them. My wife is the one that encouraged me to watch it. She has found been looking for movies that deal with cross-dressing, or transitioning for us/me to watch either together or by myself.

[Becky Blue]

Read the book and watched the movie, so sad :( for both Lili and Gerda... I could relate to quite a bit of it.

[AnnaMarie]

I watched the movie and to be honest found it quite a poor representation of what we go through and feel emotionally and what our partners probably go through too, although I guess it's hard to fit things in quite a short movie. It didn't really touch on why she was like she was as much as I hoped it would do.

[Julie MA]

I am now scared to death to watch it.

[Nora_H]

Just watched the trailer... Looks really interesting!

[Joan.Meredith]

Well just to let you know I did finish the movie the other night. I liked it, even though it did make me sad. Because I know that a good bit of what happened in the movie could happen in my life. My wife got up and left the room after a while this time, at over half way through things really started to change in their relationship. I believe that it might have hurt her to see it happening, kind of like a possible foreshadowing effect. So, I'll be watching my wife for clues to when it is safe to talk about the movie and us.

[Lucy23]

I agree with AnnaMarie; I found the movie lacking in certain aspects. It's definitely a good thing that the movie was created. It could have sparked a further discussion on the topics that eluded the script and what AnnaMarie pointed at.

However, there's a huge BUT. I found the movie somewhat reductive; there are far too many necessary thing left out (deeper characterization of Lili for example), and far too many unnecessary kept (the excessive focus on outer appearance as the pinnacle of feminity - or the ubiquitous question of what it means to be a woman). And I too want to echo Milli's comment on how to the movie depicted Lili's heartless treatment of her wife.

There is a similar movie of French origin that came out in 2014, The New Girl (Une nouvelle amie). Haven't seen it yet as I fear it will be a somewhat stereotyped depiction.

As a side note, The Sun did a piece (LINK (https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/73840/after-eddie-redmaynes-portrayal-of-a-woman-we-ask-how-easy-is-it-for-men-to-pass-as-women/)) on how easy it is for men to pass as women after the movie went out.

[Jackie7]

I loved the Danish Girl, and afterward found the books about Lily to be quite fascinating. I'd see it again.

[Acastina]

My DNTA, KFB, ETR wife (Don't Need To Ask, Knew From Beginning, Enjoying The Ride) and I watched it as part of a binge with HBO's Mariela Castro Cuban LGBTQ documentary and HBO's new documentary The Trans List. We both thought was well done and Oscar-nom worthy. We both understood that it depicted the dawn of time for modern TG evolution. We would disagree that Lili was callous toward Gerda, rather that it accurately portrayed one spouse in the grip of a compulsion for which neither of them had a cultural context at the time, and with which both of them struggled to cope.

Her only concern halfway through was "I hope this doesn't end badly." It did, obviously, but we both felt it reflected more the audacity of a surgeon of that era attempting something that still is not perfected nearly a century later. With pain and infection control what it was pre-penicillin, it was a bridge too far.

[Ozark]

My wife and I watched it together. she in her sweats, I in my vanity fair gown and robe.

For me the sensual part was when he modeled the shoe with the stocking and the dress. And I liked his dressing up.

When he posed nude and tucked, I thought that scene was intense.

What I found somewhat unsettling, probably because I am a Quentin Crisp affecianado,,, what how he dressed, so flamboyantly in that scene where he was accosted in the dance pavilon. I found his dress attractive, what I wish I could have worn when I was younger.

My wife pointed out several things to me.... she wore a scarf around her neck while lili.....and she kept her hands in the up position so that her veins wouldn't pop out,

As we were watching the show, I was reading her bio on wikipedia....it filled in a lot of the gaps. One other thing, she was a woman but she never grew out her hair, she still kept her boy cut.

[Contessa]

I now know why so many are just into CDing. They get the release as soon as they put on the stuff. I watched the movie twice with two friends. I enjoyed it as I understood that lily wasn't playing. I think there is a difference in the acting side of CDing. Once my true side was let out it couldn't be put back. Lily became who she truly was. I don't think you make a man do that a few times and he would become to like it. To like it so much he would become the actor he was trying to portray. Only some one who was really that way, that truly felt that way inside would be able to complete the portrayal. I am not speaking of the actor who played Lily I mean playing a part to the fullest. I am like Lily in the since that I want to be seen as I am inside, but not the wanting to be with or liking men part. I would only have the operation if I could afford it and it would prove I am who I say I am. I loved the movie though. The actor that played Lily is now in the Fantastic Beasts And Where to Find Them movie. Will you watch that one?