New Term: JDSM Just Don't Show Me.

[Lisa Roberts]

As I've been reading, I noticed that many of us are in a DADT relationship. Many times our SO or spouses just don't want to know. However, my wife knows and tolerates my dressing, but is in a JDSM mode. Anyone in the same situation? I bet there are!
Lace and Smiles
Lisa

[Lana Mae]

Funny! That is sort of like my relationship with my daughter so far. She does not want to see daddy in a dress, but will look at pictures of my transformation! (JDSM?) I would so love to lounge around the house in a lounger or a nightgown with a robe! Not happening for now! Hugs Lana Mae

[ClosetED]

I called it IDWTSI - I don't want to see it. Same thing. I would say 'tolerate' as I gave her no choice, but I do what I can to not make it too noticeable. She doesn't want to see packages arrive and doesn't like it when I let my nails grow longer or shave.
Hugs, Ellen

[Tania]

That pretty much sums up our situation, although lingerie in the bedroom is acceptable.

[Tracii G]

I know a lot here are in that situation and I feel for ya !
Me personally I wouldn't put up with it.
I would never let a spouse treat me like that.

[PamelaRI]

Interesting. Up until this thread, I would say that I was in a DADT, but after I read Lisa's post, I thought yes, its JDSM. However, that's not it either. I've worn panties and women's tank tops every day since recovering from surgery in late summer 2015. My wife confronted me in January 2016 for the 600th time and said that she knew I was wearing panties and wanted me to stop, I told her that I couldn't/wouldn't. She was disappointed but relented saying that she didn't want to see any sign of it and wash your own underwear. However, the odd thing is that she does "see it":

1. I don't have any male underwear
2. When I hand wash my lingerie she's not home, but I place them on the clothes drying racks in our first floor bedroom and close the door so that she doesn't see it (but she knows why the door is closed)
3. All of my exercise and "hang around the house" clothing consists of yoga pants, shorts, women's tops and hoodies.
4. My toe nails are polished with clear gloss
5. My finger nails are just beyond my fingertips and currently polished with clear matte, but I've had clear gloss on them in the past
6. My legs are shaved

So now that I think about it, I'd say that I'm currently in a resigned tolerance with minimal communication relationship. I need to fix the minimal communication issue.

[sara66]

That is where I am. Is it because they think they will see us less of a man or that we look better then they do :laughing:?
Sara

[Lisa Roberts]

PamelaRI, Wow.... I could have written your exact reply to my post. But just a quick backstory. I've been under dressing, and cross-dressing my entire life. I finally came out to my wife of 30 years, almost 5 years ago. It's been rocky, but after seeking counseling my wife says she's OK with me dressing around the house-only. But strangely enough, yesterday it was like a switch had been flipped and Lisa had disappeared. I felt like I wanted to purge everything, grow a full beard and dress like a lumberjack.
Looking back over the last 48 hours, my wife had mentioned that she did not like my legs shaved. I think it triggered something deep inside of me that tells me that she is really not OK with my feminine side. Ouch, I am in a really blue mood and pretty well depressed. Fortunately for me I get to see my counselor on Friday. She has done wonders for me and Lisa(my femme side).
Just when I thought things were getting really great, I'm wondering if I went to far too fast. Any thoughts girls? I do value everyone's opinion.
In Lace and Smiles,
Lisa

[PamelaRI]

Lisa,

Sorry to hear about the bumps in the road. My advice is try to not get too low and stay positive. I know how those comments from left field can be. I had one of those a couple of weeks ago. What really bugged me is that what she was upset about is something that I didn't do. Now, I was thinking about it, but I hadn't done it. It definitely turned my day sour, but I quickly put it behind me. It helped that we were going to see our daughter at college that weekend. I decided several years ago to never purge again.

You're fortunate that you have a counselor to talk things out with and to try to divine a path through this bumpy section. Take advantage of it. Don't do anything drastic without due consideration. I'm thinking that it might be time for me to meet with one.

[~Joanne~]

Just what we needed, another term :(

[Melanie Therese]

Kind of mine, underwear is OK, but she has never seen me in a Bra but knows I have them and has seen lines. Before kids I used to wear tights a bit around the house, but never fully dressed.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lisa:hugs:, Exacyly, My wonderful:love:Wife of 53yrs. knows about everything

and tolerates it but just don't want to see me while I am dressed...:daydreaming:...

[Teresa]

Lisa,
Most of the time I am in JDSM mode when I come to think of it but mustn't assume I'm out of DADT, if I push it too far I know it will mean a step back.

Although I'm like Tania, I do get to wear a nightie in bed, as long as I don't flaunt it !

Looking down Pamela's list, I do my washing and ironing when alone, she knows I'm trying to keep nice nails, but no varnish and she accepts my body being shaved.

So I guess JDSM doesn't apply, she just doesn't want to see me dressed, I'm JDSMD, just don't see me dressed !

[ChristinaK]

I like it! That's where I am. But, my body is laser ed or shaved, I only wear panties and wear ladies PJs to bed. Oh yeah, light pink fingernails too.

[Alice_2014_B]

My wife does tolerate seeing me fully dressed up.
We've been out in public twice together whilst en femme (last time was for Halloween).
She greatly admires my taste in dresses and heels, overall look, and ability to walk gracefully in 6+ inch heels.
I know she would have absolutely no problem if she never saw me dressed up ever again.
She had absolutely no problem with me going to do stand-up comedy completely dolled up.

:)

[PamelaRI]

Alice,


That's very nice to hear and I hope that you continue to be supportive of each other. Of course, I'm jealous - you can find shoes in a store!