Facial hair - curious

[Becky Blue]

This question is directed at those of you who have facial hair and dress. I think each of us should be free to do what they want without being judged. But I am very intrigued by people who crossdress but yet have beards and or mustaches. Having facial hair is a conscious choice that men make and is a very strong signal of manhood. So I am very interested in why you chose do have facial hair but yet like to dress like a woman.

[bridget thronton]

I decided to get rid of my stach when i decided to grow my hair out

[Fiona123]

I'm pretty closeted. I only dress in private & have a goatee. I hate that It ruins the look.

[Becky Blue]

Fiona, if it ruins your look why wouldn't you shave it off?

[Julie MA]

Great initial question. I can grow a full beard and mustache in 2 weeks, and have a shag carpet on my chest, legs, arms. I shave my face and only wear clothes that hide all the rest. When I dress I want to look like a woman. That is just my preference.

I have thought about permanent hair removal from my face, and maybe even growing out my hair. In the end, in my case, I am a man, that wants to remain a man, that wants to look like and feel like a woman sometimes.

This forum/community is really helping me sort out my CD self, and plan a way forward.

[Jamie Lynn]

First off, I HATE to shave! I don't let it grow beyond 1/4" max. and then knock it down to stubble. Rarely smooth. I'm not out except to my wife who only tolerates and I don't go out. (not because I don't WANT to! :) ) So I only dress occasionally around her with no make-up as she has asked that I don't. Therefore, why shave for no reason? Under the circumstances, I'm ok with looking decent from the neck down.

[Ressie]

When I did have facial hair it was because my SO liked it. Maybe it was also to appear masculine out of fear of being outed? Now days shaving is a daily routine as I don't want even a stuble.

[Krisi]

I don't see facial hair as a very strong signal of manhood, a man can certainly be a man and "all man" and still shave and look neat and clean. I often wonder why some older men wear a beard, it just makes them look even older.

I too wonder why someone would dress as a woman but not shave. Especially those who go out in public wearing women's clothes.

[Nora_H]

I can't grow a beard at all. But i do shave my peach-fuzz every week.
If i could grow one, however, i wouldn't if i'm going to get dressed. Not a fan of that look tbh
Why grow a beard if i want to look like a woman?

[Tracy Irving]

When I wake up in the morning I get dressed. If I put on womens clothing I get cross dressed. The tactile sensation received from wearing a dress is quite strong. The look is also pretty and feminine.

I know some women who vary the amount of makeup they apply. If they apply none, are they cross makeuping (I made up that word)? No, that was a joke. Makeup has more to do with the look or trying to pass than the feeling you get from it sticking to your skin. But, when you look into a mirror or know you are hiding your appearance from others, the feeling in your brain can be quite strong.

There may be some here who think a man without a daily shave and makeup is disgusting. And if you are trying to look like a woman to others those should probably be done. But, if you are putting on a dress at home and want to skip the makeup, you are doing a disservice to nobody. You aren't hurting their "cause". If you like your facial hair then by all means keep it.

I just want everyone to be happy.

[Heather Chasen]

Becky, yes I supose it is puzzeling to many , but have you ever thaught that some of us are in a position where being outed could bring our world crashing down around us and leave us in an impossible place . Some of us are not able to "make a new start" so we have to make the most of what we got. And then again some are just hiding behind thier facial hair because it s safer that way! Many would love to be able to go out and mix , even with other CDrs but its never going to happen. We are all different, even though joined by a common bond, some are free many would dearly love to be free but each of us does what we can, when we can.

[rockerreds]

I get lots of compliments on my beard (including one from a 60s rock star, Chad Stuart of Chad & Jeremy) so I am reluctant to part with it. I have been thankfully endowed with great hair and legs, a pretty face, beautiful hands, small feet so other than the beard I register as female.

[Krisi]

Becky, yes I supose it is puzzeling to many , but have you ever thaught that some of us are in a position where being outed could bring our world crashing down around us and leave us in an impossible place . Some of us are not able to "make a new start" so we have to make the most of what we got. And then again some are just hiding behind thier facial hair because it s safer that way! Many would love to be able to go out and mix , even with other CDrs but its never going to happen. We are all different, even though joined by a common bond, some are free many would dearly love to be free but each of us does what we can, when we can.

Are you saying that shaving your face would out you as a crossdresser? Are there no men in your part of the world who are clean shaven?

I agree with your statement about being outed causing problems but I can't see how shaving your face every day could possibly out you.

[Jennifer W]

I have a mustache and goatee because my wife likes it. I haven't worn a dress in a long time. I wear bras, panties, women's t-shirts, tanks, leggings, fem jeans, short shorts in the summer. I dress for comfort. I have women's jackets and hoodies. My winter coat comes from the women's department. I have a unisex bag that I carry. I've never done makeup or wigs. I dress for myslf and no one else.

[DrFabulous0]

Facial hair isn't a 'concious choice' it's the default, it's shaving which takes a concious effort. I always shave all over if I am gonna dress but otherwise I leave the face, it takes around ten days for a full beard to grow in. Beards coming and going seems pretty normal in my circles and never gets questioned.

[Teresa]

Heather,
Be patient I've only just managed to shave my body in the last year or two , OK my face is always clean shaven .

I did it in stages my wife made some comments but didn't stop me. It does give you far more confidence when you finally get out the door to know you won't have male hair showing no matter what you wear.

As for Becky's question, I would never have facial hair with crossdressing, to me it's a contradiction !

[SarahleeNH]

I have worn a beard for over 40 years, since I was 19 years old. When I dress and look in the mirror, I see me. I'm not trying to see an idealized woman or a particular female of note. Of course I would love to go out dressed every day, looking to match my sense of gender. But at least for now, I don't feel the trade off would make me feel any better. Sure, it might be possible to blend perhaps, but who would that be in the mirror? I think the connection might be lost to me, and I don't know if that would be better. And for sure, my wife likes the beard. She has never seen me without it, and I can dress at home however I wish. I don't deny that my appearance in a dress would be jarring to any casual observer, so my gender dressing is very limiting, but not impossible.

[Mark B]

Becky, I have to agree with Tracy. I consider myself a man who dresses in women's clothes. However, I do not have a beard and I shave my head. I don't feel the need to give the appearance that I am a women. So, when I do venture out I will not wear a wig, maybe just a small amount of makeup, and some ear rings (non pierced) at the request of my wife. She is driving me to be more feminine when CD'ing. I don't think I could fool anyone anyway with my deep voice. I am a Crossdresser which to me means that I wear women's clothes. If I choose to do/be more, wig, clean shaven face, full blown makeup, then I would consider myself something more than a Crossdresser.

[Beverley Sims]

I always shave when going out, if I miss a day it is because I am inside and around the house.

I just don't look in the mirror.

EVER tried to apply makeup without shaving!!!!! :-)

[Alice_2014_B]

My facial hair (goatee most of the time) stays very far from my cross-dressing!
Now, if I'm just hanging around the apartment in heels and/or a skirt my facial hair does not matter.

I only get clean shaven for the following reasons:
-Going to get completely dolled up, regardless of just staying in or going out.
-Formal events, such as a job interview or a role in theatre.
-UTA (Unit Training Assembly) weekend for the Reserves (we can have a mustache only when in uniform, but I always go clean shaven).

For me it is very easy since, as already mentioned, my facial hair and cross-dressing just stay very far apart.

:)

[immindy]

It seems it really depends on why one cross-dresses . If you just want to feel feminine then maybe having facial hair doesn't matter a whole lot. As I read this forum it seems there are many different reasons why one may desire to wear woman's clothing. Myself ? I dress to be the woman I feel I am so yes from my perspective having facial hair would seem strange since with it I am not going to look like a woman. I do not present as a woman all the time, so when in guy mode , I let it grow out a bit to give my face a break . Hormones has slowed down my beard growth , fortunately , so I can go two days between shaves now with no shadow showing through my makeup.

[Becky Blue]

Some interesting responses indeed... I too hated shaving my face ever since I was 19... finally some 3 years ago I was able to get Laser hair removal, which I am ecstatic about. My only regret was waiting until I had too many grey hairs. But even with that the Laser removed all dark hairs, leaving me with much less and much slower growing grey hairs. Now I have to shave only every 2 to 3 days, have no shadow and when I shave it takes under 60 seconds and I am left with a beautiful smooth skin.

For me when i dress I not only want to look as much like a woman as possible, but I want to feel that way too, so the idea of having a prickly face just doesn't do it for me.

A few comments or questions from above

Kristi - I feel that facial hair is a signal of being a male because females can't have facial hair. I am not suggesting a smoothly shaved male lacks any signs of manhood.

Tracy - No one is saying you should shave, as I said on the OP everyone should be free to do what they want, i am trying to understand why a CD/T person makes an active choice to grow a beard or moustache.

Heather - I can't see how being smooth shaved is risking being outed, in my place of work there are 5 males all clean shaven, as far as I know I am the only one who has ever dressed as a woman.

Rockerreds - lovely to hear that you have a great beard, but I don't understand the logic of having it but yet registering as female.

DrFab - any guy with facial hair will tell you that grooming takes longer than shaving, even to cultivate a good unshaven look. My Op was talking about dressing with facial hair, which you too do not do.

Sarahlee, I fond your response particularly interesting, so your saying that your beard is a much part of who you are than my upper lip may be to me - fascinating and makes a lot of sense.

[Melanie W]

I dress to please myself. I have a nice full and long goatee that is about 6 inches long. I am not concerned about how that looks with my skimpy tops or mini skirts, hose and heels. I am not going out, nor do I care about going out. I do what I do in the privacy of my own home, so I don't give a good rats ass about what others think. I love to do what I do, and the rest of the world can kiss my rebel dick. That being said, I am not going out parading down main street wearing my chosen attire shouting out my defiance.

[pinkcapri]

I wear a moustache and my wife does not want me to shave it off, neither do I, as I consider that as a sign of masculinity in my male attire. I go out dressed (and I want to look as much feminine on women's active wear) only when I run in the morning and it becomes particularly challenging with the moustache and hence I run when it is dark in the morning, less people around and less chance of getting a strange look. But for that I compromise on few other things, to get some decent amount of sleep I go to bed early and wake up at 4.30 in the morning, no I do not like to wake up at 4.30 in the morning, like to sleep more, but that is the compromise with the added excitement of going out dressed and the motivation to run.

[Micki_Finn]

Are you saying that shaving your face would out you as a crossdresser? Are there no men in your part of the world who are clean shaven?

I agree with your statement about being outed causing problems but I can't see how shaving your face every day could possibly out you.

You obviously have never sported facial hair for any length of time. People ALWAYS notice no matter if it's just a stubbly goatee or a full on ZZ Top, and the first words out of their mouth is ALWAYS "Why did you shave?" And if you have a significant other it's even harder to deflect.

[Becky Blue]

But Micki hundreds of millions of men shave every day, I don't think that the vast majority have ever cross dressed. If you are saying it is about shaving suddenly then the people around you would only suspect if they have a reason to surely?

[Lucy23]

I maintain stubble for three reasons. One, my skin reacts badly to regular shaving, two, there are several birthmarks on my neck and where my beard grows which makes shaving cumbersome, and three, my face would otherwise look like a baby's. For me it is a sign of masculinity I intend to keep.

Since I have no desire to present as a woman or as feminine as possible, and only wear women's clothes when I'm home, nothing stops me from maintaining it. I guess it might look strange, but then again, I might as well learn to apply make-up and buy a wig.

[Pantyhoselover1979]

I'm in a dadt and my wife loves my gotee and I have no interest in trying to pass nor could I pass since I'm 6"1 and over 270pounds plus I love my facial hair because I think I look weird without it lol

[Acastina]

I get lots of compliments on my beard (including one from a 60s rock star, Chad Stuart of Chad & Jeremy) so I am reluctant to part with it. I have been thankfully endowed with great hair and legs, a pretty face, beautiful hands, small feet so other than the beard I register as female.

OMG! Chad & Jeremy were one of my favorites. My mid-60s oldies band plays A Summer Song, and I wore the grooves out of their LPs. Pardon me if I go all Chadmania on you here, but are they still alive and well? Reunion tours?

Sigh. Nostalgia ain't what it used to be...:daydreaming:

Now that I got my groupie gush out of the way, on the the OP.

Never. Blessed (from a TG perspective) or cursed (from my meathead nephew's perspective) with being part of a family with relatively sparse facial hair, a few hours of electrolysis (like, maybe 15) and daily plucking in the makeup mirror leave me with nothing there. No stubble, no shadow, whatever's long enough for the tweezers to grab is gone, and I can't imagine walking around with fuzz on my face. If I had really, really tried before the first hot needle hit the follicles, I might have mustered a Bad Teenage Mustache or wimpy chin fuzz at most. For as long as I can remember, what sprouted on my cheeks (including where sideburns usually occur) is no more than one or two strays here and there. I've had spit curls instead of sideburns forever.

My brothers both wore facial hair at times. My elder brother has had a mustache since his early 20s and seems now at 70 to have grown a full beard, while my late eldest brother sported a mustache from time to time. I'm convinced that there's something genetically different about me. Wimpy sissy kid, least athletic male in school, very late puberty, very little body hair, trouble with cis-het relationships, and finding myself on this web site more often than not.

Facial hair wasn't in the cards for me, and I'm eternally grateful for that. Tip o' the wig to those who have found their comfort zones straddling the stereotypes. Takes all kinds to make an interesting world, and a great beard topping a great dress is fine with me, as long as it's not me.

[Abbey11]

I can't grow much of a beard, and the family don't even like me having a bit of stubble particularly
Would be nice to get rid completely

[Billy]

Crossdressing is wearing clothing of the opposite sex. A male that decides to wear a skirt, dress, jeans, slacks, or whatever they choose, while foregoing the need to womanize themselves eliminates the time consuming, expensive preparation that is required to transform into a female persona. A man that can wear a dress or skirt while sporting facial hair is freedom and comfort. Unless the goal is to keep gender specific clothing for only women or people that look like women, crossdressing by all people should be encouraged.

[Sandy silk]

I have a moustache and since I only dress at home with my accepting wife..I have and see no need to shave it off. Sure, when we do my make up and I put on my wigs it may look a bit odd..but who cares. It's just us-I have no desire to venture out. My cross dressing is part of our private lives. I have many breast forms of varying sizes and my wife critiques the look if I ask. Like many men, I like the big boob look and feel..but she prefers my B cups. I model..she gives input. To each their own. I did grow a goatee..and then a beard..it lasted a short time..as it did interfere. The moustache ...well it's part of me.
My body is smooth but for the stache. My wife says in hose I have killer legs.
.

[phili]

I think I can explain why for some of us facial hair is not a barrier to crossdressing- and that is that we can see ourselves as feminine and 'deserving' of the blessings of our feminine clothes, and we can be perky or effusive, or strangely light on our feet, without needing to see breast shapes when we look down. We don't see femaleness as equivalent to femininity, just that females get access to it. So we are claiming access and feeling it all, and wonder if more guys might not want to relieve themselves of the struggle of hiding their beards.

That said, being relieved of facial or body hair means one less thing to manage, and it is doable, unlike reducing the breadth of our shoulders or other aspects of maleness. I'd probably be glad not to have a beard, though it definitely helps break the cold winds. I do have it, so I go with it.

Some earlier mentioned this young wom! an with a beard who went with it and became a model- just to show that cultural stereotypes can be overcome whenever people have reason to agree.
https://mpasho.co.ke/meet-the-female-model-with-full-beard-who-has-just-become-a-guinness-world-record-holder-photos/
I think she looks great! but I have a soft spot for beards.

I also find that when I am out people are relieved in a way that I am not trying to confuse their signal processing units cueing for 'female'- I'm just a man who is claiming some feminine space.

[dressyjessy]

I only get the urge to dress once in a while and usually in phrases. I currently have a 1/2 beard and have a feeling to dress. I'm married and my wife likes the beard. She is going out of town in a couple weeks and will have more opportunities to dress. I also want to go out, maybe a quick little adventure. Will I shave and loose what I have grown, and disapoint my wife. No. I'll go out wearing cute boots, leggings, and top.

[StephanieM]

For me my face has to be smooth to get the full feminine feeling. I don't feel the need for breast forms though. We all are different and we all have our own desires and our own ways to achieve those desires.

[GeorgeA]

Becky Blue wrote:
So I am very interested in why you chose do have facial hair but yet like to dress like a woman.
Becky,
The simple answer is: I do not dress like a woman, nor do I want to look like one. I just wear clothes that some perceive to be ``women`s``. I am a man.
I`m working on a post that will give some insight on this subject. Coming soon.

[Becky Blue]

Selerba, i look forward to your post, I would hope it explains why you wear clothes that some perceive to be women's.

[Gwyneth]

Read this entire thread. Because I've had some form of a beard at least in winter since I was 20. My SO always wanted me to (got a mean "you didn't ask me if you could shave" once) but now since it is mostly gray, she would like for me to keep it close cropped or shaved down to a mustache. I haven't even gone to the later in about 12 years. The last time I did completely shaved the 1st thing I saw was my big nose. Family trait! So I'm nervous about that. But I do want to at least try Tara's lipstick advice and the facial hair will ruin it.

[Antron III]

I've had a beard and ponytail my whole adult life. Everything from very short to ZZ Top. My "dressing" is mainly for comfort and sometimes a little style. No attempt to pass or communicate with my inner "woman". I guess I could easily go "underground" if I ever shaved as I suspect no one would recognize me. :) The beard doesn't detract from the comfort of not-pants and actually enhances the appearance when wearing a kilt.

[Confucius]

I am currently clean shaven, but I did keep a mustache for most of my adult life.

The way I see it, my sexual orientation is straight - heterosexual.
My gender identity is male. Even when crossdressed, I still don't see myself as female.
However, I do have some gender dysphoria. As a child I thought the girls had all the advantages in life, and I grew up thinking that my mother would love me more if I was born a girl. I continued thinking that females were better people than males through puberty. I loved everything about females, and considered being male as a sort of handicap in life. Crossdressing just made me happy.

I think my crossdressing is more related to that gender dysphoria than my sexual orientation or gender identity. So having facial hair is no deterrent to my crossdressing.

[Sashauk]

Hi all,
I am new to this site and have been reading some of the threads when I spotted this one.

Yes! Yes I am a crossdresser and yes I have facial hair and I have no desire to be clean shaven.

Personally I don't feel the need to pretend to be a woman - I would not be very convincing even if I tried - my crossdressing is just something I enjoy in private hair and all!

[Fiona123]

I'm 61. Had a mustache since 1978 and goatee beard since 1995. I realized new years day how much I hated facial hair & shaved it smooth! Btw I have been shaving legs and arms for about a year.🌺

- - - Updated - - -

Also I would like someday to present as female. I consider myself transgender.

[Sashauk]

I'm 61. Had a mustache since 1978 and goatee beard since 1995. I realized new years day how much I hated facial hair & shaved it smooth! Btw I have been shaving legs and arms for about a year.��

- - - Updated - - -

Also I would like someday to present as female. I consider myself transgender.

Whilst I don't think I want to get rid of my facial hair I do shave the rest of my body.
I have been using an IPL device for the past two years to reduce the growth which seems to be working. I can go a couple of weeks between shaves and the regrowth is not much at all - in fact in places there is no hair at all.

[phili]

Chiming in again- I have had a beard since the second day after my first shave, which I had eagerly awaited doing, only to be dismayed that it grew back. Decided that my beard was part of me and needed to be preserved- needs only light trimming occasionally.

Hair is huge in every society, as it is a sex-linked plumage characteristic, to be styled and shaved and pomaded and etc for various effects. I don't like makeup on women and am the all-natural type. I think my facial pores are large and shaving my beard wouldn't make much difference in my appearance, without extensive covering with makeup, and then my facial shape, etc would undermine all that, and ... so the obvious choice is to go with the facial hair and stake the claim that we are all beautiful!


I actually believe and practice that- so I'm happy for those that use lotions and potions to be beautiful, and I but I'll always think you are more beautiful without it. And beyond beautiful, feminine if you are feeling that way. Same thing for manly shape- as a designer I'll find a way to drape you that is feminine- no shape changing needed!

[TwoBrains]

I have a trim beard but I love to dress female when the mood strikes. I cannot pass at all, but I really want to go out dressed. What do you think?

[Angie G]

I have a mustache and have had it for years. Me wife and the drandkids do not like it when it's not there. Only my wife knows I dress and I don't go out dressed.:hugs:
Angie

[Judith96a]

You obviously have never sported facial hair for any length of time. People ALWAYS notice no matter if it's just a stubbly goatee or a full on ZZ Top, and the first words out of their mouth is ALWAYS "Why did you shave?" And if you have a significant other it's even harder to deflect.

I have a friend who has sported a moustache for almost as long as I've known him (at least 25 years). One day, several years ago, he decided that he fancied a change so he shaved it off. His wife was horrified, to the extent that she refused to speak to him or cook for him till he grew it back! I have another friend who has sported a beard since he left school at 18. He told his wife that he intended to shave it off for charity. Her response was, "fine, and I'll match whatever you collect but only when you grow it back!" He did and she did!

People notice and SOs care! However, the vast majority of those who notice/care will not imagine crossdressing to be the reason unless there is some other, unsubtle, clue!

[Billy]

Recently my wife was complaining that my mustache tickles he nose. The next day I shaved it off and left the chin hair. The future of my facial hair is in question.

[Antron III]

The obvious answer for those with face hair who want to go out and not look TOO out of the ordinary... a kilt. All the perks of having that cool breeze blowing up your legs plus you can "underdress" with a half (or full, I guess) slip under and call it a kilt liner. Panties are optional. If you really need to cross dress, find a kilt that has buckles. I want to remember that men's kilts buckle on the left, women's on the right. Kilts and beards were made to go together like panties and thigh highs. :)

[Jennifer Michelle]

I have a full beard currently lol But when I do intend to dress fully I usually shave my face completely. I still consider myself a man though a man with a crossdressing fetish lol. In addition beards are in style on males and I am still trying to get a girlfriend lol Hopefully one who can handle my crossdressing :D

[Becky Blue]

This has been a fascinating thread and thanks for so many responses, the general theme seems to be that those of you with facial hair love it and in many cases your SO and family like it too and as such its not a problem to dress and feel great. It seems that very few people go out dressed with facial hair.

[phili]

Just to recognize that women strugggle with facial hair, usually not enough to make work- but seriously, if the world can make room for these women, it can make room for us.
http://aplus.com/a/bearded-ladies-rocked?

[redtea]

It's too much work to clean shave daily for the sake of adding 1% more femininity to yourself. I say 1% because it's 50/50 between men with and without facial hair so it's not like you are shaving your manhood off your face.

it's also the reason I don't shave my legs anymore, takes like a good hour.

Now if I were to go full femme in public I would do everything in my power to hide the male so that I blend,

But when solo, I sometimes even put on a wig with lipstick with a beard, It looks weird at first but you get used to it eventually,

[Billy]

Stumbled upon this. "Hot Men With Beards in Women's Clothing."

https://www.facebook.com/Hot-Men-With-Beards-in-Womens-Clothing-446032128845899/

[Judith96a]

It's too much work to clean shave daily for the sake of adding 1% more femininity to yourself. I say 1% because it's 50/50 between men with and without facial hair so it's not like you are shaving your manhood off your face.

it's also the reason I don't shave my legs anymore, takes like a good hour.

Now if I were to go full femme in public I would do everything in my power to hide the male so that I blend,

But when solo, I sometimes even put on a wig with lipstick with a beard, It looks weird at first but you get used to it eventually,

Really? I know that shaving is a bit of a chore but shaving every day is no great hardship. As for it contributing only 1% to feminity, your logic is rather faulty.
Firstly, the percentage of men who do or do not sport facial hair is irrelevant to whether loosing the facial hair enhances a crossdresser's feminine presentation. It's not men whom we emulate but women. The vast, vast majority of women do not possess any noticeable facial hair and those who do tend to be very conscious of it and do their utmost to eliminate it!
Secondly, the proportion of men who sport facial hair varies between cultures. In countries where beards are part of the cultural norm, the proportion will be much closer to 90%. In places like the UK & Ireland, the proportion will vary between 90% and 10% depending in the locality!

[Sashauk]

Personally I think sporting facial hair or not comes down to why one dresses in the first place.

I crossdress because I enjoy the wearing the clothes whereas others here crossdress to become feminine and present as a woman. For the latter I can see that having facial hair is a complete anathema but for me it is not an issue. Perhaps if I were to go down the route of a wig and make-up then the situation might be different but until then (if ever) I will keep my beard.

[Billy]

Is it possible that men with facial hair are just crossdressing and not emulating women?

[Sashauk]

I think so Billy.

Perhaps I'm the odd one out here but I'm not sure I am trying to emulate a woman when I'm dressed - I don't think even without my facial hair I would be at all convincing.

[Billy]

If you had features that would allow you to pass, would you want to?

[Sashauk]

To be completely honest Billy I have no idea.

Perhaps if I was able to transform myself into a presentable woman then I might think differently. But having to work with what I have now makes that extremely difficult so I'm content with the ways things are.

[MonikaTirola]

The length of my full beard is a sign when I was last out en femme in public (as I shave when I get ready for my outing)

I do dress in-between just for myself and then I don't shave.


For the discussion on masculinity:
For FtM adding a beard is one of their main ways to express their transformation.

[Judith96a]

Monika, I think that you nailed it in one with your last sentence!

[Mirya]

What about people like Jacob Tobia (http://www.jacobtobia.com/), who "crossdresses" but also has very visible facial hair? I don't know Jacob personally, but from what I've read about them, I gather that they don't shave because it's part of who they are.

[biannne]

I could never go out in public with 5 o clock shadow or without shaving.

[Becky Blue]

Monika, I think your post is 'nail on head' when you are dressing for yourself its only relevant how you see yourself.

Mirya, Jacob Tobia is a genderqueer advocate he is deliberately blurring gender lines.

[pantyhoselvr kendra]

I have a beard and mustache in the winter only because i work outdoors and helps keep my face warm

[Sallee]

My attitude is what ever makes you feel good/comfortable. For me I'll not shave for a few days and enjoy the manliness in the scratchy beard for a few days and the I'll shave for a dressing session. I think I get a closer shave after skipping a few days. When I dress it is usually about blending and passing as much as possible.

[Annah]

I have a mustache and goatee, I love my man look, but I do love my woman look too, it's a tough fence to ride. I do occasionally shave it all off, and take advantage of those times to really doll up with make up. I do know I love who I am, but also love who can be in private. I may end up shaving and just keeping it off,

[Adelaide]

My hair is fairly long (see "beauty" thread) and I always make sure that my face is clean shaven. I've also started laser treatments to get rid of my beard once and for all. I really like the overall result. For me, to be feminine means no facial hair.

[Mayo]

I've had a beard for 30 years or more at this point. I wear it for several reasons, including that it's easier to keep it than to shave it and I think the shape of my face is better with it than without.

I wear female clothing because I identify as non-binary and it helps me express that aspect of myself. If I had the kind of face that could pass as female, I'd probably chop the beard off and try doing makeup and whatnot. But, since I don't, I don't. That said, I'd also be perfectly happy if wearing a beard and a dress was socially acceptable.

[Becky Blue]

I know people are going to find this hard to believe, but I swear honest truth that I posted this thread on Dec 14 out of curiosity based on some posts here. Until then baring a fancy dress party I had never seen a bearded person in a dress. Since then 14 days later i saw a man with mostly shaved hair a well kept beard and moustache in a red dress outside a Cinema Complex (see my other post). Would you now believe that this morning whilst parking my car a young guy in a blue dress and a longish beard walked right past me. That is two different people in the space of 2 weeks, what is going on!!:eek:

[Judith96a]

Do you recall what the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy had to say about "careless talk"? Look what you've started!

[Becky Blue]

I know Judith, its my fault i have triggered some kind of special force

[phili]

I know Judith, its my fault i have triggered some kind of special force

Thanks! Keep doing what you are doing!!!

I for one have been propelled along my path quite nicely, and I hope we all are seeing more light in the forest now!

[rockerreds]

IF I were to shave my beard off I could easily pass but my beard is beautiful, I get many compliments on it so- for now- I will keep it.

[stlmichelle]

I have almost a year long goatee, it drives my wife nuts. I told her the quickest way to get rid of it is to invited my gurl self out on a date

[Stacey-J]

I had varying beard styles for a few years, but when I accepted that getting all dolled up was a part of me I shaved it all off (actually everything except the hair on top of my head + eyebrows lol) and didn't look back. Having facial hair would kill the whole experience for me

[Lainie]

Check out Conchita Wurst, the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest winner.
As for me, I haven't shaved my mustache since 1972. It would be an international incident. Cross-dressing was sporadic and closeted for decades. Just not worth losing the mustache for a "1-night stand".
Now I CD a lot, and go out in public fairly often. I guess that makes me "genderqueer", although I don't like the term, and don't do this as a political statement about freedom to transcend social standards. I just straddle the fence because I have a foot in both camps.

[Ashley090]

Everyone have different "level" how much they express their feminine side. Some put on skirt or pantyhose and they are happy. Some of us go by "All or nothing" rule. So whatever floats your boat. Another thing,check this out - crossdress. See that? CDing is focused on clothing (or i guess it is). I am not sure if complete change and stepping on other side of mythical border is still considered as crossdressing :)

[Becky Blue]

Ashley, I think the word crossdressing is used more generically and arguably if one puts on makeup and a wig you are crossdressing.

[Tracy Irving]

Many men you watch on your television set are wearing make up and, if confronted, would probably argue that they are not cross dressing.

[Confetti]

Sadly in Fransisco its as if the women have a big chip on their shoulder they dont want to be objectified by make up( oh how they need it) but honestly the men are emasculated most of the time cant tell the differences of men or women. I am also a licensed cosmetologist and my best client who is 70- he is not a cross dresser. He gets a spray tan and uses a little foundation and dyes his hair at the notice of a gray and a mani pedis (clear matte). He has to project youth for his job, he said his ideas are important yet people would think he was old or stale if he projected that image. I see several trends with both sexes, there is a National Geographic about young peoples gender identity. But, older people want to stay relevant by looking young. If there are too many men (SF) women and men morph into a gender blob. no fun no glitter no hair.Make up is a tool for everyone.

[HollyGreene]

I had a beard and moustache for about 25 years. It didn't bother me that much when my CDing was confined to staying indoors. I don't spend my whole time looking in the mirror, so as I can't see my own face, it didn't bother me.

I first stared venturing outside in the winter, and I got away with it by wrapping a scarf around my face to cover the hair. It wasn't enough for me (and there was always the risk that the scarf slipped down), so a couple of years ago I shaved them off.
Fortunately, I have fairly light coloured hair and my beard doesn't grow extremely quickly, so I don't get the blue shadow that many men get. I wouldn't grow it back now.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I had some sort of facial hair (full beard, goatee, or mustache) for over 30 years. I was kind of talked into shaving it off by my brother and my wife, as it had gone salt and pepper gray. When I shaved, my wife had never seen my face totally shaved since we first met. One of the reasons that I didn't shave it off is the fear of a tornado of pink fog, and that's what happened. But, in retrospect, that was a good thing. With facial hair, I always looked like a man in lingerie, a man in a dress, etc. After shaving, I could look like a girl. The first time I did a makeover transformation, I was shocked at how feminine I could look. It was the beginning of my upward climb to womanhood, including the whole shebang, makeup, forms, wigs, hip pads, etc. It led to my first adventure out, and now I'm out and about with other DC girls about once a month, sometimes in safe environments, and other times fully exposed to the real world.

Now, looking back, having facial hair was locking me in the closet (maybe just a slightly larger one) and keeping me from exploring the whole world.

Just my experience.

[Becky Blue]

I had some sort of facial hair (full beard, goatee, or mustache) for over 30 years. I was kind of talked into shaving it off by my brother and my wife, as it had gone salt and pepper gray. When I shaved, my wife had never seen my face totally shaved sine we first met. One of the reasons that I didn't shave it off is the fear of a tornado of pink fog, and that's what happened. But, in retrospect, that was a good thing. With facial hair, I always looked like a man in lingerie, a man in a dress, etc. After shaving, I could look like a girl. The first time I did a makeover transformation, I was shocked at how feminine I could look. It was the beginning of my upward climb to womanhood, including the whole shebang, makeup, forms, wigs, hip pads, etc. It led to my first adventure out, and now I'm out and about with other DC girls about once a month, sometimes in safe environments, and other times fully exposed to the real world.

Now, looking back, having facial hair was locking me in the closet (maybe just a slightly larger one) and keeping me from exploring the whole world.

Just my experience.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Steffi at last!!!!! An explanation that I can get my head around. That makes perfect sense, keeping a strong male sign certainly limits ones ability to look really feminine. Perhaps facial hair is in part denial by some.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Thank you, thank you, thank you Steffi at last!!!!! An explanation that I can get my head around. That makes perfect sense, keeping a strong male sign certainly limits ones ability to look really feminine. Perhaps facial hair is in part denial by some.


I read the book, "The Second Serve" by Dr. Renee Richards. It is an autobiography about her MtF transition. As a male, (s)he kept his beard as a way of staying male. Shaving "his" beard off was on the path to her transition. Not that you have to transition. I don't plan to. BTW, did you look at my profile pic. I thought I made a pretty hot chic back then when I was all dolled up.

[CDJoyce]

I have a beard. After not dressing for some years when I dress it's lingerie and in private for my own relaxation. As I don't dress fully it's never been a concern to me but if i was intending to let others see me or go public I would shave. But after wearing a beard for over 20 years I think it would raise a lot of questions amongst family and friends if I did shave.

[Erin77]

I have a goatee. If fits with what I do for work in an image kind of way if that make sense. The more I dress however I am contemplating shaving it off. I've had it so long I wonder if I'll think I look silky with out it. It definitely ruins the dressed image for me and I am tiring on it being ruined. Hope that ma some kind of sense

[Georgette_USA]

I thought I made a pretty hot chic back then when I was all dolled up.


Love your profile pic Steffi. How long ago was that. We never get much time to chat.
Are you going to make it to the FEB meetup.

[mona lisa]

I am not a fan of facial hair with crossdressing but to each their own.

[Periwinkle]

I don't really like the idea of crossdressing with facial hair for me personally, but I admire those who are comfortable enough with the idea to do it. I think it's just because I prefer not to have facial hair in general.

[Becky Blue]

Those of you with facial hair, do you agree with Steffi, that facial hair could be a way of holding you back and not letting the girl out too much?