Biggest CD Fears

[Julie MA]

What are your biggest CD fears?
1. Hurting/embarassing my wife and kids over it
2. Being hurt because of it
3. Being outed to the world, not on my terms
4. My father finding out

[DIANEF]

Quite a few..
1 My wife finding out before I tell her
2 Interaction, though that may happen one day
3 Getting old(er)!!
4 Not having any time for Cding
5 Ever losing my desire to CD (very unlikely)
Sure there are lots more.....

[Julie MA]

Interaction while dressed I assume you mean. I actually love that. Getting eye contact. Getting attention, the good kind. Feeling pretty and having others notice.

[DIANEF]

Correct Julie, I have been out a number of times now and always in a 'safe' place. Interaction does scare me but a few months ago I wouldn't have even stepped out of the door in daylight so who knows? Stranger things have happened!!

[Tracii G]

None I can think of.
If someone that doesn't know now were to find out I would deal with it at that time.

[LydiaL]

Worst of the worst.

Having outgrown being able to fit into much of my accumulated wardrobe.

The Shame!

[Majella St Gerard]

I have no fears about my CDing. Not anymore. Well maybe finding an accepting woman.

[RADER]

My fears are:
1. My friends finding out and unfriend me.
2 The embarasement of people making fun of me.
3 when I die, and my Daughter finds more female clothes than male.
4. My good name being lost.

Rader

[Judy-Somthing]

The fear I have is if/when people fine out that I'm a CDer they disconnect from me.
Think of me as a weirdo. Don't want me around!
My wife said me dressing up is creepy.
I like me, and I think Judy is a fun part of me.

[Allisa]

Coming to physical harm for being me when en-femme. But I am ever vigilant of my surroundings and avoid possible hostile encounters. But I do not let it rule my life or limit my outings. My stature is an asset for my femme presentation but a detriment for me in the eyes of those looking to do harm.

[alwayshave]

I do fear being judged. I know, I should just let such things go, but humans really aren't conditioned that way.

[Teresa]

Judy,
Please believe when I say they don't disconnect with you, since I've been out I have more good friends. The situation with your wife is a tricky one, I just accept now I have to work round mine , OK it is a double life but like you I enjoy being Teresa, it's a good side of me that's been hidden for too long .

You must believe in yourself and stop denying it's part of you.

Julie,
As far as CDing fears are concerned, they tend to change, again accepting CDing is part of you makes things much easier, once you've made the decision to come out and accept nothing is going to change how you feel, it becomes easier. I still find pictures help with breaking the ice .

[nikinylons]

All of the things you listed Julie. As a lifelong CD I think we all share those same fears. Since I stopped going out for the thrill and validation, life has become simpler. Now, my thrill comes in confessing tony closest friends about Niki. It has taken lots of practice to properly set them up for it and how I show them, but the end result is so empowering. Yes, I always have a confession hangover the next morning but always reaffirm that they understand, are good with it, and I am the same guy they always knew but with a sexy twist. I also challenge them to the fact that they have nothing to gain by ever outing me and I have nothing to gain by ever revealing their deep confessions either. The result is a lifelong friendship like no other. Pick the environment that you want to exist in and after all the thrill and scary decisions, settle on your safest and most comfortable environment. :)

[sometimes_miss]

1. Ridicule. I don't want to live the 'boy named sue' life. Growing up, I was a whipping boy for bullies. That ended when I became an adult, and big enough so that most others thought twice before pushing my buttons. Finding out that I'm a 'sissy' would simply encourage that behavior all over again.
2. Even the slightest suggestion that we're potentially not straight, brings our sexuality into question if we work in a female dominated job.
3. Once considered 'a pervert' by the rest of the world, there's going to be a backlash of sorts, whether we see it or not. I've seen bosses do it to gay people behind their backs, and hear the derogitory remarks about us from co-workers who really should know better. Life is hard enough, without having to deal with people making it harder.

[Lana Mae]

1. Ridicule
2. Physical harm
3. Not being able to blend in
4. Being outed at work
I am out to my children and my parents have both passed away.
Hugs Lana Mae Merry Christmas!

[Tracy Irving]

My biggest fear is having someone I know find out about my cross dressing on terms other than mine.

I don't want to fear not being able to lose the weight I need to so I can fit into the dresses I could just a year ago. I keep my fingers crossed as I continue down that path.

[Jillian Faith]

1 My neighbors find out
2 My daughters find out (wife knows and is supportive)
3 Am recognized in public by friends/family/acquaintances when out with my wife
4 Physical harm

[KimberlyJean]

That this takes over my life. I am trying to find balance but she is trying to take over.

[Periwinkle]

1. That I make my boyfriend uncomfortable when I'm dressed.
2. That someone from work will see me dressed.

[Meghan4now]

If you will notice, 90% of the answers revolve around the central core of "What will others think?" Beatings, ridicule,disassociation, embarrassment are all expressions of this same core fear. It is also one of my wifes chief fears.

My other fear is self delusion or never knowing the truth. Am I just messing around, being narcissistic, in denial, in deep fog. Maybe I'm a CD that entertains TS thoughts. Maybe I'm TS but not willing to admit it. Maybe I'm gay and in denial, maybe I'm quite the opposite. Perhaps I'm just a perv, or maybe I'm bored, or maybe this is all a cry for love and acceptance, but in some bizarre twist on what I find loveable?

Given that murky bit of self doubt, the fear is making the wrong choices. To dress or not, to transition or not, to remain in certain relationships or not.

Is that scary enough?

[Krisi]

My fear is friends, family and neighbors finding out about my "hobby". That would be #1 and #3 in the original post. My wife knows and tolerates.

[Joyce Swindell]

One of my most recent fears is the balance between Joyce and John. What I mean is that I haven't been fully dressed and out for several months now. The last outing was SO AWESOME that I didn't want to go back to John. But I was very happy with that weekend and appreciated it very much. We were planning to go the the local CD group Christmas party earlier this month but couldn't. My wife being so excepting and encouraging I am learning more and more about myself and Joyce.

Having been without this for so long I am thinking more and more about it. To the point of taking bigger chances with under dressing and my actions and working in some mannerisms that when presenting myself as John should not be seen by my clients. I fear them seeing and questioning or changing their purchasing based on a more feminine John.

I know I need more Joyce time and I think this will subside ...but right now....little things I do to be that part of myself just isn't enough. I fear once we do go out this January (fingers crossed) if it will subside or if it will be stronger in wanting/being Joyce more and more often.

Only time will tell and therefor only one way to find out!

Joyce

[Tracii G]

I wouldn't call under dressing taking a bigger chance just do it.
Just do what you are comfy in doing the first few times.

[Lucy23]

I could live with someone distant finding out about my crossdressing; however, I do fear the ridicule, judgement of those close to me, or being thought of as a weirdo for that matter, and having a chance to at least explain it. At least I am far more comfortable with my dressing now than I have ever been, and I'm considering telling a select one or two. But that decision is still far away.

[Maria Blackwood]

Don't have any at this point. I work in a field with security levels, and with that experience I have things well compartmentalized, both physically and mentally. Russian hackers wither and fail before my security mojo. :D

[Joanne108]

My biggest fear is being recognized while being out on a bad make up day!

[Karyn Marie]

My biggest fears?...
1. Losing my wife's support.
2. Being recognized. (I am a retired police officer)
3. Friends (non cops) finding out.
4. Family finding out.

[Becky Blue]

That the wrong people find out the wrong way

[Katie01]

Being laughed at, not laugh with.
Friends, associates and family finding out.

[Alice B]

I have no family fears because they all know and I just went to a family party dressed and those that had not seen me as such were extremely supportive. I do have some fear that a few friends would find out, but think they would accept. But, my real fear, and it's happening, is that age will restrict me. I currently have a medical condition in my foot that means I will never be able to wear heals again. This changes my look and clothing selection. I am an older dresser, soon to be 75, but do not look it. So I am afraid that my time being Alice is drawing to a close, at least as to goung out. Old agw sucks.

[Julie MA]

Alice, adapt, overcome, go shopping! Time for a new look, not for saying goodbye...

[gownman]

I suppose my only fear is that my family might think I'm weird, though I doubt it. My kids are all quite non-judgmental. I did tell one of my daughters-in-law that I like nightgowns and slips (I wanted someone to know), and she was quite matter-of-fact about it.

[Stephanie47]

I do not want my children and family to find out I'm a cross dresser. I have found too many people are ignorant of cross dressing and would assume the wrong things about dear old dad. I am cautious about venturing out fully en femme. I choose to be an in-home cross dresser. That is my comfort zone. My wife knows, but, is not appreciative. So my biggest fear:

1. My wife will predecease me and I would have to decide how to reduce my wardrobe.

I would not want my kids to find twenty plus Xerox boxes of femme garments in the closet. Maybe it would not be so bad since my wife and I share the same sizes. But, 147 dresses dad never donated? Or the 400 plus slips? And those size 12W and 13 high heels?? My mind is imploding.

[phylis anne]

Interesting thread ,
as I drop further into the t/g abyss I think those that know me would accept me more if I came out as total t/g rathr than just a c/d don't know why i feel like this but there appears to be more of an aceptance level on the t/g side these are just my thoughts and I realize there are a lot others here who feel differently

[Julie MA]

Phyllis, I agree. I feel like gay or TG are all accepted more these days. But as a bisexual I feel less accepted by straights and gays. Only my wife knows I CD, and she is still working on accepting it. Julie

[TrishaTX]

not being accepted that is really it for me...

[CynthiaD]

My biggest fear:

That unisex clothing will really catch on.

What's the point of being a crossdresser if you don't look any different?

:):):):):)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Julie:hugs:, My biggest fear is not being able to dress anymore...:daydreaming:...