Ugh! While at my inlaws, my wife just stumbled across picks of me dolled up

[nikkiwindsor]

Since I'm at my inlaws with loads of relatives I only have a couple minutes to post...Ugh! While taking pics of my kids with my smart phone (without my knowing) my wife just stumbled across some pics of me all dolled up...I've not wished for my wife to see my pics!...more to come

[Micki_Finn]

Ooops! Hope it turns out for the best.

[alwayshave]

While my SO knows, so I don't have to hide. However, I keep my phone on lock down with a thumb print or 8 digit code to open.

[immindy]

She may not know it is you . Some years ago my wife came across a picture of me . She knew I dressed some during that time but not to what extent and had never seen me dressed. She wondered who the woman was and Why I had her picture on my computer . I just said " look more closely " and smiled.

[ronniegirl]

While I pass code protect my phone as well, l I go one step further by making sure I have a generic picture of almost anything that I place in first position in my crossdressing picture folder, so that if I accidentally pull up the picture gallery app that is what one would see. Gives me that precious time to quickly switch ..and no ones the wiser...lol

[DIANEF]

Oh Dear!! been debating if I should put some pics of myself on my phone, seems it might not be such a good idea....hope the fallout isn't too bad.

[CarlaWestin]

Well Nikki, I hope the comment was, "Oh My, are you sure that's you? You're gorgeous!" and not, "Are you effing kidding me!!?"

[sara66]

I use a photo vault called p-calc . It is a functioning calculator and when you enter the pass code you have a gallery & camera. It does not even record the camera had been used. the only down side is you can use a selfie stick.
Sara

[Rogina B]

...I've not wished for my wife to see my pics!...more to come

Nikki, Considering the thread that you have going in the TG forum,what the heck is the big deal? What part of "forthcoming" do you want to be?

[IleneD]

Nikki:

I pray things smooth out for you on this. Your experience parallels the one key unforced error I made following my "coming out" (last summer).
I had The Talk with the SO. The road to "acceptance" appeared to be paved. And that went well for a month or so.

I had some photos of myself, dressed; some of which were taken on an iPhone (w iCloud). During a transfer to permanent storage to a flash drive (for safe keeping), a couple were left on The Cloud, and were also transferred to another USB drive inadvertently.
My daughter and granddaughter were visiting from back East. The Wife connected one of our flash drives to the TV to do a photo slide show of family pictures (as background music and scenery for the day). Lo and behold, 2 photos magically appeared on the big screen of grandpa in his (beautiful) long blue dress, and another in his LBD and heels. I wasn't in the room at the time, but the SO and my daughter let me know about it. My granddaughter is only 6 and it didn't entirely register with her but she DID recognize that ".. that's Boppa in a dress." We'll see how long it lasts.

The SO was furious at the error (and embarrassment). It was entirely careless on my part (photo transferring and custody). The SO didn't mind seeing it, but was quite upset that the "family news" leaked out carelessly. This was a very important lesson in properly managing my CD Life and my marriage relationship. Keep tight control of your newfound identity. Not everyone needs to know. Not everyone will react as you wish or expect. This is a lot like dealing with classified material in the military (and I should have known better).

My daughter and I talked about it. She's an adult in her 30s, educated. She understands and even gets a little chuckle about it; making jokes with me about my affinity for women's clothing. The granddaughter has no memory of it, and has proceeded being a 6 yr old. The SO keeps it in the back of her mind hoping I don't inadvertently "embarrass" her again.

Good luck Nikki. Love ya', girl.

[Abbey11]

Oooh! I hope things go well x

[Laurana]

Well, that's what happens when you leave pics on your phone. Somebody is bound to see them.

I know that nobody but me uses my phone and I still hide all my pics. Or I send them to my computer and delete them from the phone.

[ClosetED]

And don't forget the Recently Deleted folder has to be deleted as well

[Jenniferathome]

Nikki, she knew already. Take this opportunity to open up your DADT status.

[Stephanie47]

From a recent post you indicated your wife is aware of your cross dressing. Further you indicated there was some ongoing discussion concerning shaving your body hair. So, your adventure has just accelerated. Your picture postings indicate you do doll up to an attractive woman. Maybe with the cat out of the bag she will not have some mental image of a hairy guy in a dress looking terrible. It could lead to a Happier New Year. I would suggest you do some password protection. What if your in-laws grabbed the phone instead? Looking forward to an update.

[~Joanne~]

I will never understand why some of you girls are so careless with your clothes, shoes, pictures and whatever else you just leave around or give people access to. Part of me thinks you want to get caught to get it out there but I would suggest you do it another way, things like this usually don't end well. When my SO is going to use the camera for anything she always asks if Joanne is on the memory card lol It's not because she hasn't seen them (usually she is the one that took them) but in case she has to look at the pictures while using it with other people around they don't get a peek and ask a million questions she may not be able to answer..

Be smart Girls, hide your stuff better, stop being lazy and leaving it under the bed or whatnot. I know You want to tell your wives and such but there has GOT to be a better way.

[DIANEF]

Agree with you Joanne, after a few too many close shaves I am now careful to the point of obsession. Each time I dress is now carefully planned, and the clean up done with military precision. But there's always something that could trip you up....

[Ally 2112]

Back in the day as i will say the most i had to worry about whether my mom would figure out if some one had tried her clothes on .Believe me she Knew something was up .Also my x wife always seemed to know when i went behind her back no matter how i tried to hide it .Some women seem to know

[Adriana]

Nikki, I hope it all works out and it doesnt/ didnt go too far.

[nikkiwindsor]

Had a quick minute to read everyone's comments...I'll provide an update when I have a chance - I think things will be ok - fingers crossed!

[Tracy Irving]

After you take a few pictures just text them to your e-mail address. Then delete the text and the pictures from your phone and you are done.

[Abbey11]

Just to note, deleting photos from your phone does not actually remove them completely, you would need to do a full factory reset or over write all the memory with other stuff, you can actually get recovery apps that will easily retrieve files, vids, pics ... Any thing that you think you've deleted they are recoverable.... Don't get caught out

Just thought I'd mention
Abbey

[Tracy Irving]

What Abbey says is true. But the recovery app process takes more time, effort and trouble than someone suspicious of nothing would go through. The photos do get "deleted" when they are written over with new information though.

[Angela010]

There are apps that can store private pictures behind a password protected folder on your phone. That's where mine go.

[Meghan4now]

Had a quick minute to read everyone's comments...I'll provide an update when I have a chance - I think things will be ok - fingers crossed!

Fingers are not the only thing crossed today! Wives, lines, tempers, husbands clothes.

Dear, I am betting this won't be too bad. She might be a little miffed because it took her by surprise, while not in private. But since she already knows, this isn't an earth scattering revelation.

In the words of Marvin the Martian:
"Where's the boom? The earth shattering boom???"

[Ashley090]

Whooops. I hope it ll go well for you. It maybe great opportunity of coming out! And next time delete your pics from phone ;)
Wish you best luck!
Ash

[Tracii G]

The old wanting to get caught syndrome.

[Sara Jessica]

I will never understand why some of you girls are so careless with your clothes, shoes, pictures and whatever else you just leave around or give people access to.

So true. This is why God invented password protection for your phone.

[Gabriella111]

I use the Keepsafe app for locking away pictures I don't want others to see. Hope things turn out well!

[Teri Ray]

Let them that have never make a slip with being in the closet cast the first stone. I have had many close calls and done some pretty overt mistakes thinking I was covering all my tracks. I for one know I am not as smart as I look. Errors get made. I Hope it all turn out well.

[Sara Jessica]

Not saying I have never made an error but protecting your phone (AKA computer) is a no brainer. And while I have very few femme pics on my phone (that's what a camera with designated chip is for), my wife knows that even reference to this site is something we don't need our kids to trip into by using my phone. Hence PW protection.

[Sarah Louise]

Good luck Nikki. I hope it turns out well. Honesty is probably the best option. I think I recall that your wife kind of has an idea that this is something you do or at least used to do?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nikki:hugs:, Now maybe you both can have a meaningful conversation about the Elephant in the room...:daydreaming:...


~~~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS~~~~~

[Lana Mae]

Best of luck with this, Nikki! As the others say it is not as bad as her not already knowing! Special hugs Lana Mae

[GirlyKayla]

The old wanting to get caught syndrome.

This is my dream! XD

[Rachael Leigh]

Nikki I too keep some of my pictures on my phone, my wife has seen some of them, I do hope this will help with further discussion with her and not make it bad

[kkaye]

I was outed with my girl friend in a similar way when, I did not log out. She was sitting in front of my lap top dazed. She said what in the **** is this. I came clean. It is a part of me she lives with but, I do not dress up around her. I am taking her one step at a time. The good thing is we wear the same size shoes
s

[rachel_rachel]

My wife knows, my kids know.. I choose for the kids not to see because I didn't teach them to be biggots.
In saying that too.. they know that daddy's things are daddy's things and you don't touch.
My wife would use her phone for pictures before using mine anyway.

[Phillipa1uk]

Hope everything is ok today with you being 'outed'

I see your online as I type so maybe it is ok?

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Nikki,
Thank goodness she already knows about your dressing!
Now that she's seen those pics, ask her what she thinks, and
if she'd like to see some more.
It could lead to her having a better understanding of YOU.
Not to mention a razor under the tree.
Good luck
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Dana44]

eeek Nicki, Perhaps you should have a password on your phone. And one should never give the phone to wife. Gee, mine got on my phone once and was trying to bring up a web site. I took the phone off of her and told her that my phone has no web access and I don't want any. My phone is my phone and it only handles phoning and text. Hers is hard to call from. with all the crap on it.

[Becky Blue]

Hey Nikki, I hope everything is ok - thinking of you, at least she knows about you....best of luck!!!

[Krisi]

The old wanting to get caught syndrome.

That's what it looks like.

Why would anyone who doesn't want to be seen as a crossdresser walk around with pictures of themselves crossdressed on their phone? You know someone will be looking at your other pictures, you know someone might borrow your phone for some other reason and you know there's a chance you will lose the phone and people will see the pictures. This is about as careless as a person can get.

The suggestion of emailing your crossdressing photos to yourself is a poor idea as well. Nothing is truly secure on the Internet and you might accidentally email them to a friend or business contact.

So you want to keep photos of yourself dressed? OK, many of us do. Think about security. Don't let them out of your direct control. Put them on a password protected folder on your computer. Put them on a password protected removable drive (USB drive, etc.) and hide it using it. The FBI will be able to crack the security but normal people won't.

BTW: A camera is safer (and better) than a telephone for taking pictures. There's little chance of accidentally sending them out on the Internet. I say "little chance" because mine actually has that option. It's turned off though and doesn't know about my Facebook account or anything else personal.

[nikkiwindsor]

I don't have time to explain...but I think everything is ok!

[mdavis]

All will be fine Nikki. Happy holidays.

[Brandy Mathews]

Oh my,
I hope that everything works out for you.
Bree :)

[Rebecca W.]

Hi Nikki,

I hope that everything works out well with your wife on the discovery of your pictures. You are a wonderful, caring person, and I am sure that she knows that as well.

[~Joanne~]

Let them that have never make a slip with being in the closet cast the first stone.


Not saying I have never made an error but protecting your phone (AKA computer) is a no brainer. And while I have very few femme pics on my phone (that's what a camera with designated chip is for), my wife knows that even reference to this site is something we don't need our kids to trip into by using my phone. Hence PW protection.

I agree. I never said I have been perfect when it comes to making sure everything is hidden or whatnot but i don't leave my heels lying around in an open spot like under the bed and such. I have a pen drive i keep all of my pictures on , password protected and easy to get rid of if need be. On my PC I also have a folder, directly miss named and locked down also. My phone is never used for pictures, I have a camera for that and i most certainly clear the card and reformat it every time i do pictures of myself dressed. reformatting it is the best way to make sure the pictures can't be retrieved.

I am completely out to my SO so I am not worried about it as much as I use to be but i still don't want others that comes over, like family and friends, to stumble across anything. To hand someone your phone though and for them to see them, that's careless, same with letting someone use your PC and such. I just think a lot of us want to be caught but there has to be a better way than being caught to get a conversation going with those you want to tell.

[sometimes_miss]

It's the old, if you don't want anyone to see your pictures, don't take any. Always consider the worst possible outcome for whatever you do. If you're OK with it, then proceed. If not, reconsider.

[suchacutie]

I, too, hope all is going well. You certainly have all of us on the edge of our chairs waiting to the backstory and the outcome!

But, we do understand this could be a very busy time.....

-tina

[S. Lisa Smith]

Best wishes for a successful outcome!!!

[nikkiwindsor]

Finally, some time to myself! Crazy busy with the holidays which is expected and of course a good thing! With all the family around, my wife and I only had a few minutes to talk. First, and not surprisingly and understandably, she scolded me for having the pics on my phone. Now, the phone is password protected but I had shared my PW w/ the Mrs a long while ago. She just never uses my phone and she's good about not snooping around. Heck, as most of you know, my wife knows about my feminine psyche and is supportive to a point. I've just never felt comfortable sharing pics of myself w/ her and she's never pressed me to share. But, for whatever reason she used my phone to take some pics during the holidays and stumbled across the pics of me all dolled up. Even knowing that I dress up to the nines (she's aware of my huge stash of makeup, few wigs, several dresses, assorted pantyhose, jewelry, pads, briefer, heels, corset - all of which is in our master bath and walk-in closet) she was taken aback by the pics. First, she was most concerned that after taking a couple pics w/ my phone she could have passed the phone around for relatives to admire the pics she just took only to swipe across the pic album and see the pics I had taken earlier of myself all dolled up. After the scolding, she asked for my permission to delete the pics saying to me that I could simply get dressed up again and take some new pics and not save them on the phone this time around. Next, as she was deleting all the pics one by one she muttered under her breadth, but clearly loud enough for me to hear, "you're unrecognizable...you're even prettier than me." In my mind, it was like uh-oh...I know what's coming and there it came. She questioned me, as she does every once in a while, as to whether I'm going to fully transition and leave her. It really makes me feel terrible knowing that she feels this way. But, you can appreciate why she feels this way. As always, I reaffirmed that I'm not going to transition and I'm not going to leave her. She can tell I'm genuinely expressing how I feel and she felt better. We've had a great time together over the course of the holidays since this little escapade but we haven't had a chance to talk more fully about it. That'll occur once we're back alone at home. If you'd like to see the pics she stumbled across they're the same ones I posted in the forum's pic/video area in a thread called something like, "Happy Holidays....Loveyah Nikki!" It looks like me and a lot of gals out there on the forum have learned a lesson about storing pics on a phone. I could've obviously been more careful...I do have to admit that there could've been a part of me that wanted my wife to find the pics. I've been wanting to show some pics to her but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do so. But, then again I should've been far more careful!

[Becky Blue]

Nikki, good to hear it seems to be all ok so far, thanks for updating us all xxx

[Lux]

Considering it all, pretty good ending. Good luck moving forward

[Meghan4now]

Hey Nikki,

Thanks for the update, we were all wishing for the best for you, and hoping for a good report. Couldn't ask for much better!

[Ressie]

My ex was using my phone during the holidays to call her son. I wasn't sure if I deleted my girl photos or not! It turns out that I did, but the 'recently deleted' folder has over 50 photos of Ressie.

[ClosetED]

I am careful and usually take pics with real camera and move then delete them off chip and empty trash. Glad it turned out ok and maybe a good thing to finally show her. I have been tempted to 'accidentally ' show wife best pics since she also doesn't want to see them, but seeing how good I look and how happy might help.
Happy new year Nikki,
Hugs, Ellen

[Janine cd]

I make a point of never using my phone to take pictures of Janine. All of her pictures are taken with a digital camera on a separate memory card.

[ElleStreet]

I was telling a my family a story about something that'd happened to me this Christmas which required me to show them a photo. There were 5ish people around my phone and one reached out to swipe to the next photo(rude imo). I was mortified and jerked the phone away. I was a second away from my step-family seeing me in either lingerie or a bodycon dress (both with full makeup and wig) depending on the swipe direction :P

[Stephanie Julianna]

Years ago, my wife found a Polaroid (Remember those?) of me dressed in a jacket pocket. She was waiting for me to come home, steaming, thinking I was having an affair. She knew I dressed but could not see me in the picture. It took a while to calm her down and point out things in the pic that convinced her that it was me. I reminded her that I always told her I looked very different when in full makeup and that I was good at it. I thought that would calm her about my crossdressing since this was proof positive that I would not be recognized if I ran into anyone we knew. Instead she started to worry that I wanted to be a woman full time. Now I download my pics to a stick that is hidden and delete any photos from my camera and phone.

[Julie MA]

Elle, you are so pretty they probably would have asked why you have been hiding your girlfriend.

Stephanie Juliana, you are good at it. Can't believe you are 67. There's hope for me. Hugs, Julie

[MakeupRox]

Nikki, just a quick hello & also to let you know that so many of here understand the anxiety involved with the misshap. That things will be ok in the future with your SO. It is good that she was already aware of your fem side. Wishing you all of the very best, & should you need to chat just let me know..... I'm here anytime.

All the very best to you & your SO,

Miranda

[ElleStreet]

Wow thanks, but knowing my family they're more likely to think I'm a crossdressing weirdo than think a girl is sending me underwear shots xD

[nikkiwindsor]

My wife and I are still visiting relatives so we haven't had an opportunity to talk further about my pics. When everything settles down and we get back home I look forward to talking to her in great detail about the pics. Hopefully, she'll be open to meeting my feminine side in person. I don't have a different personality when I'm transformed but I am more compassionate and content.

[mona lisa]

Wow thanks, but knowing my family they're more likely to think I'm a crossdressing weirdo than think a girl is sending me underwear shots xD

You look lovely, Elle! :)

[CourtneyJamieson]

Good luck with everything Nikki. I know it will all turn out OK. I love following all of your posts. I think maybe your SO may be just a bit jealous because you might look a bit better than she. A perfectly natural reaction. You always look so good. I am sure everything will be OK once the dust settles. Take care.

[Becky Blue]

Good luck Nik, I am sure it will go well, it is not like she did not know anyway... let us know how it goes xx

[Debra Russell]

Nikki you really look nice, very pretty - there is an app, QuickPic ... it will solve all your pblms please look into it - a really good app for all of us ladies to have................................Debra

[nikkiwindsor]

Hi everyone...well, I've returned home from vacation but my wife is still w/ her parents. So, she and I haven't had an opportunity to talk more about the pics she came across of me dressed up. But, I can tell we're on good terms. It'll be a very enlightening conversation between the two of us when she gets back home. I'm hoping that we'll be even closer. Fortunately, she understands that I have a very strong feminine psyche and I while I dress in very feminine attire I don't have a desire to present myself in provocative ways. Consequently, I don't have any pics that I would be ashamed or concerned about her seeing beyond just the surprise of her seeing me completely transformed. As I commented in my first post to this thread, she did quickly mention that she thought I looked prettier than her. Hopefully, in talking to her further I'll learn that she made that comment because I wear a lot of makeup, and pretty dresses. You see, she really doesn't like makeup or wearing dresses for that matter. She's a tough as nails girl who doesn't get all caught up in fashion and the like. Now, my daughter is a completely different animal. A total fashionista to the nth degree is she. Clearly, that part of her DNA she got from me! Who knows...if the conversation with my wife goes well maybe I'll feel comfortable in presenting myself to her completely dressed. I just need to help her understand that I'm just content and happy expressing my feminine self and I'm here for her always! :) Nikki

[Sara Marshall]

That's great to hear Nikki! Glad everything is working out in a very positive direction

[ClosetED]

Great to hear that, Nikki! Maybe celebrate her more accepting attitude with some masculine activity and then see if she might be willing to do something more feminine wth you - paint nails, etc.
Hugs, Ellen

[Karenj]

I carelessly left a short tight lace dress in the spare bedroom, where I dress when she is not around. She asked me who owned it. I told her honestly that I bought it for myself. That was 6months ago and we have never spoken about it since. I think she prefers it that way. I am way more careful now.am wondering though , if I completely shave my legs cabin get away with it if I start wearing pjs to bed and leaving them on during sex somehow?

[Stephanie47]

I previously commented (#15). I had made the comment on your posting of the Happy Holiday's picture post that you looked very attractive. I really thought the full body picture was terrific. From your post I believe your wife agrees. I'm sure she is mulling all this over in her head.

Even though our wives may know of our cross dressing I think many just do not want the fantasy image of a husband attired in feminine clothing/makeup/wig to become a reality. You definitely broke the ice. Maybe it is time for your wife to reach out to the women on this site. When my wife realized I was a cross dresser one of her comments was she did not have anyone with whom she could discuss her feelings. I tried to be as open as possible to her questions, but, there will always be an hurdle none of us can over come. I had to tell her my true feelings. I have no clue why I like to dress in women's clothing and appear womanly. I would recommend not trying to tell a woman that you are connecting with your inner woman. You'll probably get blasted with both barrels of a verbal shot gun that you have absolutely no idea what it like to be a woman until you give birth to a child. That is what my wife blasted me with. I (we) may be able to tell a woman how it makes a man feel. With me it brings some peace and tranquility.

One comment my wife made which has nothing to do with me, but, a general statement regarding someone else who discovered her husband was involved with a man. If the husband was involved with another woman, the wife would be able to compete with the other woman for her man. However, how does she compete with a man for her husband? I think it can also come down to this with many women married to men who must emulate a woman. This is more than wearing panties under a pair of men's jeans. This is the entire feminine wardrobe, wig and makeup. Donning false breasts and adding garments to create a womanly illusion.

I believe solid marriages can survive these revelations if there is mutual respect for each other which also involves creating mutually acceptable and realistic boundaries and limitations.

[Territx]

I hope things go well and will be thinking about you.

[Scarlett398]

Same here, Nikki....I'm content and happy expressing both my feminine self and my masculine self... I, like you Nikki, am very fortunate that I have been blessed with the genes and the body to allow me to feel and look, I believe, fabulous while dressed as a pretty girl and a great lookin' guy.
I'm sure everything went well when your wife came back from her parents. By the way how did the talks go when she got home?
My wife and I have very similar tastes in our girly clothes. If I were to stand next to her while she's ready to go out the door to her job and me dressed as Scarlett, we would have almost identically styled outfits on. She loves boots, booties, black tights, short skirts, long sleeved scoop necked or turtle neck tops that fit close to our upper torsos. We wear the same type accessories and my wig is almost a carbon copy of how she wears her hair. Our makeup would be the same as well. She's a red lipstick girl like me. Our comparable photo shoots would be almost identical.
I look forward towards the upcoming talks from time to time between and wife and regarding my cross dressing desire. She'll always be number one in my love numbers, followed by our baby dog. We are both well educated and great communicators. It's sounds like you and your wife are this way as well. Your posts are always well written with first rate grammar and positive and encouraging words.
Debra below mentioned the app QuickPic...I don't know anything about it. Have you tried it and what does it provide us with? Is it some way to hide photos safely?
Now I, like you, might look just as pretty, if not a little bit prettier than my gorgeous wife when dressed as Scarlett. It would really be about a toss up. Maybe one day in the near or distant future, I'll be able to go out to the movies or mall with my wife while dressed as Scarlett. After quite a few talks, I'll bring that suggestion up and see where it goes. I'm not in any hurry to press the limits. I have seen from a few of your posts that you and your wife have gone out together while you're dressed as Nikki and she is very comfortable with it. How often do you two get together and go out while both are all dolled up? Another question is about PDA (the public display of affection). Does that go on while both of you are dressed as pretty girls? I haven't seen that subject addressed on this forum. There is a lot of it between my wife and I while I'm dressed as a guy and she's as gorgeous as always. I have always been a strong believer in PDA. Now I'm not talking about "R" rated groping but tasteful kissing, holding of hands, arms around waists, and an occasional quick squeeze of her cute little butt by me... Gotta run, it's date night and time for a movie and shopping tonight...I love your posts and always respect your advice and input...Sincerely, Scarlett

[BrendaPDX]

Like some here, good opportunity for a DADT, Or maybe she didn't recognize you. Good luck Brenda

[nikkiwindsor]

Although she said that I was unrecognizable, she knew it was me b/c she knows I dress up. And many, many years ago she saw pics of me dressed up. When she gets home next week I look forward to asking her what she thought about the pics. We haven't had a chance to talk in any detail.

[Becky Blue]

I am sure it is going to be a very interesting discussion Nikki and many of us on here will be waiting your report.

[Jenny22]

Hi, Nikki. Give us an update, please. Your photos are stunning.

[nikkiwindsor]

Well Jenny here's the latest. My wife was to return home this Sunday, but now it'll be Monday. So, we'll see how things go when she gets back. Upon returning home, I'm tempted not start the conversation or take the initiative in showing her my recently shaven legs which she hasn't seen. I'd like her to strike up the conversation. I don't want to make a big deal about what's unfolded since the Christmas holidays. So between the pics she saw that we haven't had much, if any, time to talk about and my bare legs I have no idea what's going to happen. I'm getting a bit NERVOUS! But, I do have to be true to myself and who am on the inside. I pray she'll continue to accept me unconditionally as I've come to realize that my inner feminine spirit is becoming stronger and more pronounced. And thank you and everyone else for the wonderful compliments! They really mean the world to me :)

xxx Nikki

p.s. I think of her often while she's away...and I try to put her first and make her feel special. With this in mind, I had some beautiful flowers delivered to her a couple days ago.

[nikkiwindsor]

Because of events beyond our control, my wife hasn't returned home yet. So, we still haven't had a conversation about my pics or shaven legs. I'll periodically keep you guys up to date as events unfold whatever they may be!

- - - Updated - - -

My wife said she's traveling home today...it's been a little over 3 weeks since she came across my pics. When she gets home it'll be the first opportunity to find out where we stand on everything...I'm not starting the conversation. I'll stay low key and let her take the lead. Nikki

[Becky Blue]

Nikki, good idea to wait for her to bring it up, please update us when you have some news and good luck XX

[ShirleyN]

Since I'm at my inlaws with loads of relatives I only have a couple minutes to post...Ugh! While taking pics of my kids with my smart phone (without my knowing) my wife just stumbled across some pics of me all dolled up...I've not wished for my wife to see my pics!...more to come

Ouch! That's AWKWARD to say the least! Hope it all turns out okay!

[Becky Blue]

Nikki, any updates for us? Is your wife home and has anything transpired?

[nikkiwindsor]

Ugh...not doing too good...wife back home but she's on meds that make her a bit mean. So, she lobbed a couple hateful comments about my femininity my way although I know it's not totally her fault. She really isn't feeling well and steriods really do put you on edge. Nikki is feeling a bit blue :(

[Becky Blue]

Sorry to hear Nikki, hopefully she recovers soon and life can settle down to the happy state it was last year!! Keep a low femm profile until she is better and the meds are out of her system... hang in there girl xx

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nikki:hugs:, I am guessing that she:love:is going to be in no mood to see your fresh shaven legs right now...:daydreaming:...

[Dana44]

Nikki, Yeah she may be bit upset about your femininity. Mine get that way sometimes and I go male for a while. Like a week. lol however, that helps and she is good after that.

[Judith96a]

Hi Nikki,
Yes, steroids are "interesting". I've heard people swear by them and others swear about them (and unwanted side effects). I've never heard anyone being neutral though! If she's on a finite course of them then it sounds like laying low until she's finished the course would be prudent!
All the best to you both

[S. Lisa Smith]

Sorry to hear that, I hope when she is off the meds she is more understanding!!!!!!

[Lori Kurtz]

It sounds like she needs a lot of love right now. You know she is struggling with your feminine identity, and her feelings are probably aggravated by the meds. I think that if you can see past that to the woman you've always loved, and you can find it in yourself to shower her with all the love she needs and more, it will pay off for you both in the long run.

[Tina81]

We're on the apple eco-system with the Cloud so if a photo is taken by the iphone then it's all of devices (iPad, desktops, other iPhones) Ack!

[Lana Mae]

Sorry to hear about your wife! Steroids do the job but have bad side effects! Best wishes to you both! Hugs Lana Mae

[Angie G]

My wife knows but no one other then her knows.I never keep pics of my on my phone camera or eneywere. My pic on this site is te only one to exist.:hugs:
Angie

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Nikki,
It sucks getting your feelings hurt by someone you love.
People get moody sometimes, couple that with being on meds, YIKES!

Looks like maybe you need to put your "Joe the plumber" outfit on for a while.
What's that??? You don't have one??? You can borrow mine, but I'll be needing it back.

Cheer up girlfriend!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Abbey11]

Hi Nikki, hope she's off the Meds soon and you can have proper discussion. Hope it goes well, thinking of you.

[giuseppina]

Those steroids have nasty side effects, and not just on the temperament. For example, a side effect of cortisone, a steroidal anti-inflammatory, is depression. With depression can come aggressive behaviour.

[Becky Blue]

Nikki you have not been on here for quite a few days, I hope all is ok with you and your wife.

[Jenny22]

Hi, Nikki. Its been over a month, and we all are sure that somethings have transpired. Can you give us an update? Hugs!

[Becky Blue]

Update from Nikki
I have been corresponding with Nikki and have a bit of an update, her smooth legs did not go down well with her Mrs and she is letting the hairs grow back, as a result things have not been great in her house with regards to her dressing that is why we have not heard from her. Hopefully we will get to hear from Nikki herself soon.

[nikkiwindsor]

Sorry I've been gone but until recently the past few weeks haven't been the best. As Becky shared, my wife didn't like my shaved legs. She's so concerned about what others would think. For myself, I absolutely don't care what others think. I just want to do what helps me feel content. And smooth legs are absolutely wonderful. I feel so feminine and connected with my true female spirit.

[rachelatshop]

Hi Nikki, I think that your wife has other fears than what others will think. How are the others to know. I have been keeping my legs hair free for the past 3 years and nobody but me and my wife know and as long there is no stubble to make them scratchy my wife doesn't care.

[nikkiwindsor]

Hi Rachel, what other fears do you think my wife may have? Nikki

[sweetdreams]

So you want to keep photos of yourself dressed? OK, many of us do. Think about security. Don't let them out of your direct control. Put them on a password protected folder on your computer. Put them on a password protected removable drive (USB drive, etc.) and hide it using it. The FBI will be able to crack the security but normal people won't.


I have a piece of software I use to encrypt a portion of my hard drive called VeraCrypt (https://veracrypt.codeplex.com/). It is supposed to be very secure (some say the FBI might not be able to crack it depending on your password). This is free software. You basically tell it to set aside some portion of your hard drive. It will then encrypt it and you will "mount it" as another drive. When not in use everything on it is securely tucked away by unmounting the drive. If you want to open it up, you tell the software to mount it again and after that you can use it like any other drive. All of my sensitive stuff I don't want anyone to see goes in there. I highly recommend this software.

[nikkiwindsor]

While my wife is still uncomfortable with my closest relatives seeing me with shaved legs, she has given me the go ahead to shave them again in October. So, she's ok w/ me shaving my legs over fall and winter when I can wear long pants while visiting relatives. Outside of that, she's not too concerned about my shaving any longer. In fact, my legs still appear smooth since the hair is growing back slowly and yet she has no problem with me going on walks with her while wearing shorts. She really is only concerned with what my relatives would think. For me, I don't care what they think at all. Nikki

[Nikki.]

well, this seems positive, given the prior update, so congrats and i'm happy for you :)

[kimdl93]

As they say, baby steps. I honestly doubt if anyone notices any guys legs....perhaps if you were really wooly and suddenly turn up smooth...

[ClosetED]

Glad to hear things worked out in the end, but tough getting there! Hope you can now dress with more sheer stockings and post lovely pictures
Hugs, (still hairy) Ellen

[nikkiwindsor]

Yuck! The hair is growing back and starting to show. Back to two pair of hose which I absolutely hate. Cannot wait for the fall to arrive...it's going to be a long spring and summer for sure! Nikki

[Leslie Mary S]

In this subject, I outed my self.
It was after Christmas 2016 and we had some people came over to review the Christmas photos.
I had set up my older laptop on a TV tray and attached a 17" flat screen monitor facing away from me. This way, I could run the laptop during the slide show and they could watch without everyone trying to look over my shoulder. The laptop has a very narrow viewing angle.
After the "slide show", I put the" slide show" on auto play.
The slide show of the Christmas photos was running nicely for about 15 min. I wasn't touching the screen. Then the screen saver came on and used the "photo" directory and any sub directories under it.
BUT I forgot something. I had recently used a sub-directory under the "Photos" directory (A breach in protocol) to edit some 150 photos 'Leslie Mary S" after a shoot. Normally, I use a sub directory two tiers bellow the "Models" directory, which is not a sub-directory under the "Photos" directory.
About the 5th thru 7th photo shown by the 'screen saver' was Leslie Mary S. Anyone who was ignorant to who 'Leslie Mary S' made the connection, but I know that there were some pre-make-up photos in that set.
I quickly and artfully bumped the table to juggle the mouse thus stop the screen saver. I hadn't been using a mouse. hence no mouse was attached. I reached very quickly and and awardly over the monitor screen and hit the space bar.
I am now using 3 one Tera external hard drives. One for my models photo work (some semi-nudes etc), one for "publicly safe' misc photos, and the third for those closest type photos (no nudes on it).
each external drive is now over 50% full. Just bought a 5 Terabyte external drive.
Archiving sensitive long term storage to high quality DVD-r disks. One for each model session of each model, about 65 disks now, which are in a locked contain.

[JeanTG]

Back to two pair of hose which I absolutely hate. Cannot wait for the fall to arrive...it's going to be a long spring and summer for sure! Nikki

Until I started to shave my legs, I wore opaque tights. Some are quite fashionable and match my dresses. I do prefer natural pantyhose, but a girl must compromise some times. As for shaved legs in the summer, take up cycling, and your wife has her cover story.

[Leslie Mary S]

I NEVER wear hose to hid my leg hair. I don't have any, leg hair that is, but I do wear hose to help hide scratches, bruises, and scars. I have been mean to my understanding pins.

[Connie.Marie]

Nikki,
I hope all is well with you & yours as you are suggesting.

As far as photos on the phone. I JUST SAY NO. No photos of Connie or friends on my cell phone.
I have an early digital camera that I use, download the photos then delete them from the camera.
Yes it's big. bulky & runs out of AA battery power now & then but, there's No chance someone can see what's not there.

Hugs, Connie Marie

[Beverley Sims]

Mine instantly get transferred to a DVD of in the interim a dedicated USB stick.

Takes time but involves deliberate actions to hide the shots.

Eight dollar insurance policy there with just a "V" indicating something different.

Das ist verboten, a German word. :-)

[nikkiwindsor]

Sometimes, deep in my heart, I wonder if I left those pics purposely on my phone with the hope, or perhaps, not at least not a care, that my wife would find them.

[Lauri K]

Nikki,

I have followed this thread for a while and can understand you trying to keep / maintain peace with your wife's requests to not shave certain months and permission to shave on others.

However to me it appears not shaving is causing you great pain and it is not something you want to contend with.

If I were you I would go off an without permission get laser done on my legs and later on maybe tell the wife something strange happened after that last shave and the hair just never came back..............

Sorry if I am out of line but you have a life to live to.......just saying

Best wishes in working this out !

[Aunt Kelly]

If I were you I would go off an without permission get laser done on my legs and later on maybe tell the wife something strange happened after that last shave and the hair just never came back..............

You are a bad influence, Lauri. We are so lucky to have you around. :)

Seriously though, Nikki, that is one approach. While not likely to be well received at the time at least, it has the distinct benefit of obviating any further discussion about shaving.

[Jeri Ann]

Hey Nikki,

I have to agree with Kelly and Lauri. Gulp, I never thought I would ever say that. With all due respect, hasn't this gone on a little too long? Also, there seems to be a little too much control going on here, maybe even manipulation. Just get rid of the hair already, get sent to your room or whatever and get on with your life. It's just hair!

Jeri Ann

[nikkiwindsor]

Hi Jeri Ann, Kellie Marie and Laurie,

I have a very happy marriage, with a lot of mutual respect and understanding. My wife's feelings matter a lot to me and while I would love to have smooth legs all year I fully respect her point of view and as the good husband i am I will comply with her request. She too has respect for my feelings and that is why she has agreed for me to be smooth over the cold months. Although I'm unhappy with her request, it isn't unreasonable. However, I am happy that she is comfortable with me dressing and transforming at all. I very much view marriage as being sensitive and attentive to one another's needs and desires. And, in a sense, I already feel like I've been placed in time out until October :) Nikki

[Becky Blue]

Well said Nikki, could not have said it better myself. Clearly your marriage is one of mutual love and respect and one should never forget that your wife has accepted a lot of things that many wives would not. Forcing the leg shaving issue may turn your wife off your dressing and make things a lot worse.

[Lauri K]

Nikki,

Any updates now that it is starting to get warmer or are you going to have to stick it out until October to shave.

For me hair is mental state killer, I hate to even leave the house to go to electro appointments even though no one can really see the hair that is left unless they are with in a few feet of me

You look so pretty in your photos as always, hope your wife can come to compromise so you can wear those pretty sun dresses between now and October

[Lisa85]

Other than live with it, the only option is to join a road cycling group that has shaved legs, and then emphasize how stand out with unshaved legs

[nikkiwindsor]

Finally had the nerve to ask my wife what she thought about the pics of me she found on my phone. She's very uncomfortable with them and, as she had muttered under her breadth the first time she saw them, she again said that I looked prettier than her. I explained that's the power of makeup. I wear quite a bit of makeup and she wears very, very little. I ended the conversation there since it was obvious she didn't want to discuss the matter any more.

[CherylFlint]

What would get any GG unglued would be the lie rather than the "dressing".

[Judy-Somthing]

My wife hasn't seen my photos but she said to me "why would you enjoy dressing? you must look very ugly as a woman!"
As Nikki said "that's the power of makeup"
One thing that I'm kind of lucky with is that I have very little body hair and the little I have I pull out a little at a time.

[Paigeturner71]

I show my gf my pics--the ones I'm the most proud of where I look fabulous haha!--and she just gives me that 'oh brother' look. I just smile because I know if she thought they were hideous she'd have NO problem letting me know that. So I know she thinks I look pretty and/or sexy. Either way--be proud and love yourself. That is what it's all about.

- - - Updated - - -

And Judy...I think you are beautiful. Very nice smile. Very feminine. I have very little body hair too. Thank you heavens above! Getting dolled and looking halfway decent is hard enough without dealing with that nightmare. Lol

[Becky Blue]

Nikki, a disappointing but not surprising result i'm guessing. Just keep plugging away....

[nikkiwindsor]

If everything goes accordingly (and so often it doesn't), I have a makeover tomorrow with my beautiful friend at a wig boutique I frequent occasionally. I'm excited to see if she can do my makeover better than me...I do have lots and lots of practice. But, who knows...maybe she can help me to look my best! I wish I had a gorgeous gown to wear but alas I don't have one. Hope everything goes as planned and I have another story to share with everyone. xxx Nikki

One of my girlfriends didn't see my update on another thread about my further talk with the Mrs about my pics. So, here's a complementary update. I talked to my wife about the photos a second time and she again mentioned that she thought I was prettier than her. I explained that it was the power of makeup. I do wear a lot of makeup...I'm totally intrigued by the stuff! My wife wear's very little makeup. She's so much the tom boy and I'm the complete opposite. I think that's a bit funny if you ask me. I could tell she didn't want to discuss the pics anymore than that. So, I ended the conversation at that point. I do wish she'd look at more of my pics in my "girl mode." Maybe sometime in the future. But, I think she's a bit on the defensive especially with her thinking I look pretty. xxx Nikki p.s. if you have any other questions just fire away! And I just got back from my makeover. Shortly, I'll share how it went and what I learned.

- - - Updated - - -

Well, I learned some fantastic makeup tips during the makeover. But, I didn't like the overall look. We experimented with colors that simply didn't suite me. So, I'm transforming myself as we speak applying the tips that my friend/makeup artist shared with me.

[Stephanie47]

I NEVER wear hose to hid my leg hair. I don't have any, leg hair that is, but I do wear hose to help hide scratches, bruises, and scars.

I'm also fortunate. I do not have any hair follicles on the back of my legs or my thighs. The front of my legs are almost bare also. I wear shorts all year along due to the discomfort of peripheral neuropathy. Several years ago my daughter who was in her early 30's was sitting across from me, and, asked if I shaved my legs. I asked her if this was the first time she noticed I had no hair on my legs. Yep, over thirty years and finally she noticed. I explained the lack of hair follicles. When en femme I always wear hosiery, and, that includes when I'm en femme in the summer. Typically a warm day around here in the summer it's in the 70's with low humidity.

Nikki, I would suggest you ask your wife to start looking at the legs of men when you're out. I see many men who have a minimal amount of leg hair or no leg hair. It is especially true among older men. And, if you are diabetic or pre-diabetic the chances are you're going to naturally have less hair.

My wife knows I do not shave my legs. She hates me that I have no leg hair. Worse than that is the fact I also never have had underarm hair. Hear her and other women rant about shaving legs and underarms....wow! Many women like their men to have smooth bare skin. Others like their men hairy.

My personal opinion is your wife needs to re-evaluate her position. She is afraid of societal norms and expectations. She is more afraid of what other think than what makes you comfortable. Maybe all your wife needs to do is to tell nosy relatives that SHE likes her man to have a totally shaved smooth body. If she really wants to shock them, then as she is saying that she can run her hands sensuously over your cheeks and chin! :)

[Jenny22]

Nikki, in your 1-4-17 post, you commented,
"As I commented in my first post to this thread, she did quickly mention that she thought I looked prettier than her. Hopefully, in talking to her further I'll learn that she made that comment because I wear a lot of makeup, and pretty dresses. You see, she really doesn't like makeup or wearing dresses for that matter. She's a tough as nails girl who doesn't get all caught up in fashion and the like."

Here's a thought .. AFTER you've taken her to a nice dress shop and purchased a pretty one for her, take her for a makeover. Let her become really pretty. She will probably love the results. Tell her she's your arm candy as you walk with her.

[nikkiwindsor]

Jenny,

Thank you for the suggestion. I'm afraid it wouldn't work for my situation. My wife is really not into makeup. She's beautiful but simply will rarely apply it. And she's most comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans. In our walk-in closet, I own more dresses than she does. And she rarely wears the dresses she has. It's really too funny how I'm the "girly girl" of our home! Now, if I buy her a puppy she'll likely let me do just about anything I want...mmm, I'll need to give that some serious consideration! lol

xxx Nikki

- - - Updated - - -

Hi Judy,

You're so beautiful...I'm quite confident that your wife would very surprised and probably not very happy to see how stunning you are when transformed into your feminine self.

xxx Nikki

[Lisa85]

Don't know if you have thought about it, but could be the combination of dress and high contrast makeup is too much. Have you tried dress with subtle makeup.

Could it be the long hair, have you tried bob styles?

Sometimes SO want to see party styles only and hate the look of natural female, while others want only natural and no party.

Have you any clue as to which types of presentations are definite no-no's and which might have less charge for her?

[Marcelo]

I have an idea that might help. Why not show her all your pics and ask her to pick out her favorite? Then post that one here so we can all see it!

[nikkiwindsor]

Girlfriends, you guys are providing some many different ways to proceed...I'm getting confused as to which way would work best. I just know I have to engage my wife more fully with my feminine side. I would like her to embrace me totally...but, i think that's asking too much! ugghh

[Brandy Mathews]

OMG!
Nikki, I hope that everything turns out o.k..
Hugs,
Bree ;)

[macada10]

I reviewed your pictures with the blue dress with and without corset. Most of GG would envy your figure.
If your wife like t-shirt, trousers and it is undergoing some steroids treatment, she can be frightened to be the male of the relationship...or to be too attracted to your female persona...who knows?

[TrishaLake]

Nikki , I always contend seeing a therapist and finding a path to the truth with you mate is the best. Good luck!

[nikkiwindsor]

My wife continually shares that her self-esteem suffers because she's struggling to lose weight. She knows that many consider women to be attractive when they are thin. I encourage her not to feel that way. Recently, I explained to my wife that my self-esteem doesn't suffer at all from my feminine ways and spirit. In fact, I brought to her attention that I actually feel special and better about myself because of my inner feminine soul. It makes me such a better person...more compassionate and understanding than I would ever be without that part of me. Now, my wife's response to when I said I feel special was a bit surprising...she just said, "that's neat." I don't know if it's helping with her poor self-esteem...I'll need to ask.

[suit]

weight lose>> When Mom's not happy , no one is happy >>so help mom be happy!
So
lots of reading to do there....but I think there may be something to the idea of gut bacteria having way more of an impact on the rest of us than we might have been able to believe. if you have not tried apple cider vinegar with the "mother" used in salads.. I 'v lost a bit o weight ....and its really the only thing different that i can think of ??
I t may be anecdotal but, a qt has lasted me over 2 months so its a a cheap try !

[nikkiwindsor]

The Mrs wasn't too happy the other day and started to get after me a little bit about my dressing. I wasn't in the best mood either. She began saying, "I let you do your thing blah, blah, blah..." I don't even remember what got each of us in a bit of a tiz...but, I know it was something petty. We quickly made up (as in forgave each other...not gave each other a makeover...though I wish!!) to each other...and then she gave me a special value twin pack of Neutrogena makeup remover towelettes she had bought for me! This life isn't easy and I wish my wife would fully embrace and even enjoy my feminine side. But, I have no business complaining.

[nikkiwindsor]

Last year my wife relented and was ok with me shaving my legs in the Fall. So, October is right around the corner. Hopefully, she'll be fine with me shaving my legs again. I've been hating these hairy legs for the past many, many months!

[nikkiwindsor]

Until recently, I've been a bit down since my wife has again turned down my ask to shave my legs. She wants me to wait until after the holidays...so, another long month of misery...:(

[nikkiwindsor]

I have a sweet and funny story...which has greatly improved my mood. Two days ago while my wife and I lay upon our bed together, she was her usual perceptive self realizing I was too quiet and was slipping into my occasional sulky, pouty mood. She quickly brought to my attention that I needed some time to be my feminine self and told me to go get dressed. I commented that it was too much work getting ready which sent my wife into immediate and utter hysterics with the loudest chuckling and laughter I've heard from her in our more than 30 years together. Now, we have a good laugh on a regular basis but this time it was beyond the realm of what we've ever experienced before. Her laughter was contagious and I joined her laughing to the point of crying. I asked her what she was laughing about (I had a pretty good idea what it was - and I was right). She replied she has long knew from experience that painting on a full face takes a tremendous amount of time, energy and effort. Good reasons she says to me regularly as to why she rarely wears makeup herself. And having seen pics of me in full glam mode (to include those difficult to affix false eyelashes along with tight-lining, face-taping and contouring) and how long I spend getting ready in our bathroom she more than readily appreciates the amount of work entailed. So, there I was commenting on the obvious that it took too much work to dress up and yet there she was knowing that I always like seeing her dressed up despite the fact she's always told me it's too much effort to pretty herself up. Compounding everything is her knowledge that beyond the cosmetics, I have a penchant for pantyhose, girdle, 3-4 inch heels, hip pads, corset, body briefer, tight dress, full head of hair, etc, etc, etc. What a wonderful experience is was for us to have a ridiculously long bout of laughing and chuckling together about my feminine side...it was a priceless moment that we'll remember and cherish for the rest of our lives! Nikki

[S. Lisa Smith]

That is so wonderful!!!!!!!!!

[Becky Blue]

Lovely story Nikki, thanks for sharing. You are very lucky to have such an encouraging wife.

[nikkiwindsor]

My wife is back home and I just summoned up the nerve to again ask her to allow me to shave my legs...she replied not to ask her right now...but I just did! Ugh! I cannot help myself...I'm asking her again later today...I'm just sick, sick, sick of all this hair!

[Shelly Preston]

Nikki

I think you should ask a different question.

Ask your wife when the right time will be to have a proper discussion about your situation.

[nikkiwindsor]

I politely asked my wife again if I may shave my legs...SHE SAID YES as long as I allow the hair to immediately grow back...I've decided to wait another day and ask her again just to be sure before I go ahead and remove all this unwanted hair! I cannot believe she actually said YES! Wow...I'm just so happy! :)

[Gwyneth]

Again I wanted to reply with a PM, but you are too popular. Everybody loves their Nikki!

[ChubbyLeahCD]

All my pix are taken and uploaded to my Dropbox that is under Leah’s e-mail address. Dropbox is password protected too.
But that is a fear of mine, not deleting a pic or not clearing the browser history and getting caught and out myself.

As for the legs, I just tore my ACL and have to wear a brace that makes my leg so hot! I’ve told my wife I may shave my leg hair and then I’ll tell her I have to do the whole leg so I won’t look ridiculous and then gotta do both for the same reason. LOL
I wonder if that will work

[nikkiwindsor]

A couple nights ago, I again asked my wife if I may shave my legs...just to be sure I heard her right the first time. She again said yes...and rather nonchalantly...I was so happy and quickly had a tub bath, shaved my legs (it took me more than 30 minutes to remove the hair) and moisturized with lotion. My bare legs feel and look great!!

[Stephanie47]

Question. Just how hairy are your legs? As I have stated in some threads I have no hair follicles on the back of my legs and very fine almost non-existent hair on the shins. No need to shave. Zero underarm hair too. My son looks like a hairy ape. I don't know where those genes came from although his natural grandfather's gene pool is not fully known.

Is it just an issue of the act of shaving your legs? Or would this really set the stage for in-law speculation or confrontation? At the beach I see a lot of totally shaved men. Some women love hairy guys. Some love clean shaven guys. None love their men in between because the stubble is irritating when intimate. Without going through seven pages on this thread to find the answer "Why does your wife not want you to have hair free legs?" Do you shave other parts of your body such as chest and back and underarms or forearms. I know when in public I would prefer wearing a long sleeve dress to hide my forearms. It would look rather strange if you were at a gathering with baby smooth legs and hairy arms and chest/back. That would raise eyebrows. Better to shave the entire body and project a new male image.

[nikkiwindsor]

Question. Just how hairy are your legs? As I have stated in some threads I have no hair follicles on the back of my legs and very fine almost non-existent hair on the shins. No need to shave. Zero underarm hair too. My son looks like a hairy ape. I don't know where those genes came from although his natural grandfather's gene pool is not fully known.

Is it just an issue of the act of shaving your legs? Or would this really set the stage for in-law speculation or confrontation? At the beach I see a lot of totally shaved men. Some women love hairy guys. Some love clean shaven guys. None love their men in between because the stubble is irritating when intimate. Without going through seven pages on this thread to find the answer "Why does your wife not want you to have hair free legs?" Do you shave other parts of your body such as chest and back and underarms or forearms. I know when in public I would prefer wearing a long sleeve dress to hide my forearms. It would look rather strange if you were at a gathering with baby smooth legs and hairy arms and chest/back. That would raise eyebrows. Better to shave the entire body and project a new male image.

Stephanie, my legs are (were) very hairy. It took about four passes of the razor over every square inch of my legs to produce smoothly shaven legs. You are quite fortunate to have mostly hairless legs like yours. My wife doesn't so much personally care whether my legs are bare or hairy. Rather, she's concerned about what others would think. As much as I'd love to shave my chest and arms, they are hairy. I do have to wear long sleeved and relatively high necked attire since only my legs are shaved. I agree with you...I need to work toward a completely shaven body :)

[Samantha_Marie]

Hey Nikki! Don't know if it would make it easier for you, but I ended up buying an electric hair trimmer off of amazon for about $10. I went over my legs with that first and then used the razor. It ended up cutting a whole lot of time and ended up helping with razor burn. The first time for me felt great for an hour before the burn set in. It was brutal. The hair trimmer worked wonders for me!

[Lea]

I also use an electric hair trimmer for the first pass. Then I shave my legs changing the razor blade several times. I shave using hair conditioner. Then I use an epilator on my legs and parts of my stomach.

This has worked well for me. Don't forget to moisturize.

[nikkiwindsor]

Samantha and Lea,

I do have to admit the truth...I have an electric hair trimmer but consciously decided not to use it for several reasons:

1) I did want the hair removal to go slow...I enjoyed every minute of time it took to rid me of the unwanted hair. I knew I was done when the razor start to "squeak" against my hairless skin.
2) Our house isn't all that big and I was concerned that if my wife heard the trimmer going in the bathroom she'd change her mind about allowing me to shave and rush in and tell me to stop
3) Lathering up my legs with shaving gel and taking a razor to the legs one sweep at a time is enthralling
4) I wanted to save on electricity (just kidding)
5) I needed the practice with a manual razor...I hadn't shaved my legs in over a year...practice makes perfect and I've already had to reshave my legs a couple times since the initial "defuring"
6) My hair trimmer is electric and not battery powered...didn't want to electrocute myself in the tub...and shaving in a tub of warm bubbly bathwater is a must!
7) I didn't want to lie to my wife...I asked her for permission to shave my legs, not trim my legs...lol

Nikki

[nikkiwindsor]

For a few days after I shaved my legs, my wife said for me to let the hair grow back. Despite her request, I thought I'd continue to shave and see if she would persist in asking me to stop shaving. Interesting and happily, it's been two weeks since first shaving my legs and she hasn't pestered me to stop keeping them silky smooth. We've even gone out in public together with me wearing shorts. No one has said a word or paid any attention to my bare legs. Hopefully, my wife will get use to my legs and let me keep them hairless for as long as I like...keeping my fingers (or should I say my bare legs) crossed!! :)

[nikkiwindsor]

Oh well...it was nice as it lasted...my wife is insisting that I grow out my hair again until the fall

[Samm]

Welcome back to the "hair club"

[nikkiwindsor]

not funny Samm...not funny at all!

[Becky Blue]

Always being the optimist, you managed to keep them smooth quite a long time, so in the fall perhaps you can keep them hairless for 6 moths, baby steps Nikki...

[Lindabrown]

Lauri K suggestions could lead to Divorce Court.
Try scheduling your wife for an all out makeover and clothing/heels for at least one night to calm her feelings of you looking better then her.
Try a MAC pro makeover

[Pumped]

Nikki, I feel your pain! A few months ago I shaved my legs and my wife flipped out. I do run a hair trimmer over them and keep the hair short and she is ok with that. She also worries about what people will say.
I though it was funny because we spent a few days with friends from out of town. One of the guy wore shorts and I quickly noticed his legs were shaved but never mentioned it. After we left I asked my wife if she noticed and she had not. We spent three full days with them, he was in shorts the whole time and no one mentioned his shaved legs!

[biancabellelover]

I would agree that most people don’t notice. We notice when other men have shaved legs (or at least I do) because it’s something we’re more conscious of. I wear long pants and sleeves more than I used to, but more for sun protection than any other reason. In just over one year I’ve had one person comment.

[Chloe St Clair]

I would agree that most people don’t notice. We notice when other men have shaved legs (or at least I do) because it’s something we’re more conscious of. I wear long pants and sleeves more than I used to, but more for sun protection than any other reason. In just over one year I’ve had one person comment.

I agree 100%.

A little over a year and a half ago I began the process of having all my body hair removed by laser. Like Nikki's wife, my wife was mostly fine with the idea, her only concern being what other people would think. My reply was that I don't care what someone I don't know thinks. Then I pointed out that a male member of our extended family doesn't have any hair on his legs. (son-in-laws uncle). The funny thing is, she has spent way more time around him than I have and she never noticed.

Our daughter and the aforementioned son-in-law, who live in Austin, have stayed with us a few times over the past year while they were in town. I wore my normal at home clothes, knee length shorts and a tee-shirt, and made no effort to hide my smooth legs. Neither of them noticed, or at least if they had they didn't say anything.

Nikki, I get that you and your wife have a relationship built on respect and honesty, hopefully she will soon realize it's no ones business but yours whether you have any hair on your body.

If I might make a suggestion, spend some time doing a google search for photos of men on the beach. I think both you and your wife will be surprised by how many of them don't have any body hair.

My laser technician tells me nearly half of their clients are men. I go to a Medi-Spa for my treatments and they just opened their fifth location, so they have a lot of clients...

[chrissyone]

I agree that these days a ton of men have smooth bodies and I think women are just about split 50/50 on smooth or hairy

[Meghan4now]

Dear,

Quite frankly, it's probably not about shaving per se, but rather why you are shaving. My wife has been complaining about the shaving as of late, but then almost every "hunk" shown in the movies is now bare chested. When I point that out, she says that they are OK because they have a great 6 pack. Then she complains that skin feels like a plucked chicken. Well that would depend on the last shave date, and waxing vs shaving, but it is a rationalization. Her REAL complaint is she doesn't like cross dressing because she doesn't like crossdressing. Period, no discussion.

[nikkiwindsor]

Fortunately, for whatever reason, my hair isn't growing back very well and since my hair is light in color you can barely see it. But, certainly, my legs feel rough which isn't nearly as pleasant as when my legs were completely hairless and silky smooth.

[Patricia_Campi]

Nikki, please don´t be offended by my question, but, aren´t your wife being a little selfish??

I read all the thread and it is always "she doesn´t like this, she doesn´t me to do that" an so on.

When will be your time to do something you like, to do something you want to do just because it pleases you??

A wedding is a two way relation, where you give up something and she give up something. I understand that she doesn´t like your dressing, but that can not be an excuse to control your life and you body.

If you like to shave, do it, don´t ask. It is easier to apologize than to ask permission!! :)

Today, no one cares if you shave. I am almost like a monkey (and my family and close friends know it), but when I shave, nobody even noticed it!! Even a female friend said she doesn´t like it when man shaves, blah, blah, blah but she didn´t notice I did it!!

Please, don´t take me wrong. ;)

Cheers,

Patricia

[Nef]

I am now careful to the point of obsession. Each time I dress is now carefully planned, and the clean up done with military precision. But there's always something that could trip you up....

That reminds of me soooo much. Carfully well planned in advance dress up time, military precision with the clean up. Cant wear wig anymore since my gf discovered a long hair that was not her color on my pillow once. Have to hide and encrypt data on my phone since she's good with computer.. the apps p-calc is not good by the way, if your wife can looks at the installed apps list (or itunes on your pc) its easy to go to the apps description and see what is the special hiding feature of the calc... shes asked me.. why do you have a calc that can hide stuff... and off course.. show me the stuff.

On the other hand, i feel like a sexy spy in heels when i can live my double life. The wife is way too good at finding clues.

[Victoria_Winters]

I have zero photos of me en femme. I once took a picture but deleted it 5 min later... super detailed not to be outed...

[nikkiwindsor]

Hi Patricia, I don't any offense to your question...yes, my wife is a bit selfish but I can understand where she's coming from. Presently, she is mostly convinced (but she is softening up) that others would care if they saw me w/ shave legs. But, given that I've been wearing shorts and its difficult to see my hair as it is growing back and I've not had anyone bothering to notice or saying anything I think my wife is beginning to appreciate that no one cares about my legs. Just this weekend, I was visiting several of her relatives and wearing shorts the whole time. My legs look hairless (certainly don't feel hairless) and not one person said a word. I think over time my wife will see that keeping my legs shaved year round will present not a care in the world to anyone. Staying sensitive to her feelings, and knowing her apprehension while she has grown in her acceptance of me as I express more and more of who I am (one complicated person), I'll take things slowly one step at a time. This approach is working for us. Nikki

[Patricia_Campi]

No problem Nikki, each one of us have our time to make things work.

Body hair is a funny thing. I have A LOT of body hair (and almost nothing on my head), and the first time I shaved, I was impressed that nobody noticed. So, I saw that the fear was just in my head. Even my closest friends didn´t noticed.

Today, I shaved my legs, with a razor (I really want to try the wax) and it is a wonderful sensation.

Hope you can keep yours shaved. :)

Cheers,

Patricia

[Pumped]

Nikki, i would be tempted to ask your wife if she really has a problem with your shaved legs, or if it is why you shave them that is the problem. I suspect the later. She doesn't sound like she accepts your dressing, but barely tolerates it. I believe you are in that strange place where you wife feels like she is in competition with another woman, that happens to be her husband!

[nikkiwindsor]

Pumped...I think you're right or very close to it. Ever since my wife stumbled across some pics of me, she's refused to see any more pics or see me dressed. She complains occasionally about my weight loss and slim figure. And she lets me know that she knows that I keep my weight down to wear bodycon dresses which she abhors for herself. And she knows all about my big drawer of makeup and she wears so little makeup herself. And rarely, if ever wears a dress. She uses the excuse that she's overweight...she's a little overweight but not at all that much...and she'd look wonderful in a dress. What am I to do? I don't know?

[Pumped]

It is a tough place to be. My first wife was over weight and she was crazy about it. I don't remember being anything more than supportive and really didn't have a problem with it. She was over weight when I married her. She also would never dress up as she felt she never looked good in anything. I remember buying her a nice outfit that fit her body type well and she looked awesome in it. It showed some cleavage, she had large breasts. She tried it on in the store, looked herself over in the mirror at the store several times. I couldn't get her to take it off so I could buy it for her she liked it do well. I ended up buying the outfit for her and that was the last time she wore it. We went out to eat or out bar hopping where it would have been appropriate to wear but she wouldn't do it. Made me crazy!

[nikkiwindsor]

Yeah, my wife still continues to fret and complain about her weight and it brings her self-esteem down. And she just won't wear any dresses b/c of it. I explain to her that my self-esteem is ok even though I hate my body too. I need to tell her how would she feel if she was like me...female minded with a male body...that really sucks much more than being a little overweight

[kimdl93]

That’s a great analogy, Nikki, but it may not offer your wife much comfort. Here is a thought... would it be possible for the two of you to adopt a few lifestyle changes that over time could help her attain a more positive image. Doing it together is the key.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I don't think my ex-wife would approve-even when we were married. She did do my make-up once, for me, and put me in a pretty sheath dress for a while, but I think the newness of me being Roxanne wore off pretty quickly for her. Too bad, but then, she is gone, now. All I have to please now is myself!:cute:

[Stephanie47]

I don't know if you and your wife are suffering from the same thing, i.e., lack of self esteem. If you're mental angst is having a female mind in a male body that is different than your wife having low self esteem because of her weight. I think you can overcome some of your inner negative feelings with shaving your body and maintaining a womanly body. Your plight is you don't live in a vacuum. Your married to a non accepting woman. Part of her issues is "What will other people think?" I've said many times part of a woman's baggage with her husband's cross dressing is being painted with the same brush society paints her husband with. Many times the fear of discovery is "What's wrong with HER? Why is she still married to a guy who wears women's clothing?" There is the fear of being cast aside by family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. Being 'outed' ends up being a reflection upon her.

This weight issue with women is a beast unto itself. I have encountered sometimes a person whose weight gain is from necessary medication. Unfortunate, but it happens. My wife has a BMI over 30. She qualifies as obese, although the manner in which the weight is carried does not make her look all that overweight. She knows she is overweight. If I say something medical, she lashes out. She is recovering from the effects of breast cancer treatments and surgery. One of the contributing causes to cancer, and not just breast cancer, is being overweight. Yet, she still drinks her soda/pop and eats ice cream too often. Once she was five foot two and 115 pounds. Now she is five foot two and 185. I truly do not care that she is overweight from the spirituality between us, but, I really would like to have her around for the next 15-20 years.

If your wife is marginally overweight which seems to be the case by your choice of words, she should be coaxed into losing weight for her own health. It is not a competition between her, a woman, and, her husband who wants to look terrific emulating a woman. A woman does not have to wear a dress to look desirable. Don't let her equate in her mind that losing weight is a competition to see who looks better in a dress. She should get annual checkups if she is not already doing that. And, she should, and you too, see a dietician to learn how to prepare meals, and, thus eat healthy. Maybe some psychological counseling is in order for your wife to deal with her lack of self esteem.

[JessikaRobin7]

I have dropbox on my phone with "Camera Uploads" turned on. if I have a big batch that could be seen I just open dropbox, let the pics upload and then delete them from my phone.

of course that was a while ago... I haven't deleted them in a while because I'm getting to the point of being ok with someone seeing... taken a longgg time

- - - Updated - - -

so when the group is together after dinner and you hand your phone to the stranger to take the pic? lol... i can feel my stomach twitch giving them an open window...

[Mary Lawrence]

With respect to the hair removal issue, one "advantage" of getting old is the loss of hair and changes in the character of the remaining hair. Most of my head hair is gray and about 50% or more of body hair is also. The texture is also much finer, but seems to grow faster. On the other hand, if leg or arm hairs are pulled out by waxing or rotary hair removal device, it seems to take more time to regrow. Under my arms, the process seems much much slower. If I shave my legs, the renewed hair is so fine there seems to be little real stubble, just finer shorter hairs. Overall, the body hair is easier to manage. However, I don't recommend anybody try to speed up aging to help solve the hair problem as it is much nicer to be young. Try to stay young.

[Stephanie47]

One :) of the unintended effects of having type 2 diabetes is loss of body hair on the legs. I don't recommend getting diabetes along with aging. Shave instead.

[CDYoga]

This was a very interesting read! With all of this happening do you regret having the pictures on your phone at all?

[nikkiwindsor]

This was a very interesting read! With all of this happening do you regret having the pictures on your phone at all?

Honestly, I don't regret having the pics on the phone. While it wasn't my intention for my wife to see the pics I obviously wasn't being very careful in storing the pics on the phone and my wife had the password to the phone as well. I would like her to completely accept me and her viewing of the pics has opened up long conversations between the two of us about my feminine spirit and soul. So, all in all I don't have any regrets.

[Alice B]

Not to sound offensive, but reading all of this is like reading a dime store novel. In my very humble opinion it seems as if you are letting your wife control too much or everything. She knows and claims to accept your dressing. She knows of and where your clothing is, she has seen images of you dressed and in make up. Since she does not like or wear make up, which is not that unusal for many on our site. Shave and keep your legs shaved if that us what you want, or get them waxed. Wear your make up when you dress. Just don't push it in her face. In time she will come around.

[CDYoga]

How is it that your wife has a problem with you shaving your legs... but you have such feminine eyebrows? I don't understand...

[nikkiwindsor]

How is it that your wife has a problem with you shaving your legs... but you have such feminine eyebrows? I don't understand...

CDYoga...I appreciate where you're coming from and I'll provide an explanation which is a bit lengthy. But, reality is reality. And first, I just must express how happy I was to read that you found my eyebrows to have a feminine appearance. Like many of us, I have a large dose of gender dysphoria and anytime I hear that I have feminine attributes...well, suffice to say it makes me feel really joyful! Now, onto to and explanation. Fortunately, I have very, very light colored hair and brows. In male mode, it's a bit of a challenge to see my brows to begin with. In addition, over many, many years I have also moderately plucked the thicker hairs of my brows to the point that they no longer grow in. I think getting older has also made a difference in my thicker hairs not returning. So, through several years of plucking, most of the brow hairs I have left are softer and shorter. That wasn't how it began though...if I didn't thin out my brows they did become a bit "bushy.' When I plucked I didn't narrow very much the thickness of my brow line. I like a thick well-defined brow as you can tell. When I first began to pluck my wife did complain but over time she seems to have accepted it. I think it helps that more men are grooming themselves to include shaping and taking care of their brows. My wife has noticed this. My barber (I wish I had a hair stylist!) also offers to trim my brows which I readily accept. My wife use to complain about me permitting the barber to trim my brows but I just said everyone else seems to be doing it. She simply doesn't complain any longer about what I've done to my brows. Moving on to my makeup routine...when I transform I create a feminine arch to my brow by gently lifting up the brow with the use of strategically placed surgical tape on my forehead. You can YouTube face taping to see how this is achieved. You cannot see the tape because it is high up on my forehead and my bangs hide the clear tape. Since we're on the subject of face taping I'll also share that I use tape to create higher cheekbones and smooth the skin around my jaw line and neck. It's really amazing what face tapping can do to create a more feminine appearance. Some people call face taping a non-surgical facelift. With respect to cosmetics, I use dark brown brow gel to define the shape and create the color of my brows. The before and after is truly remarkable. As I shared earlier, my brows are very light (honey blonde) in color but after all the work I spend getting my brows done they are very noticeable and I think help frame my eyes. I just LOVE a dark, well defined and thick brow! I hope this lengthy explanation answers your question. And if you have anymore, don't hesitate to ask! :) Nikki

[Gwyneth]

I would say more on a pm. But your inbox is full again! I do want to tell you that you are wonderful arm candy!

[nikkiwindsor]

Since I've ordered my first two sleeveless dresses (really, I've only had long sleeve dresses in my wardrobe) I decided to just go ahead and significantly thin out the hair on my arms. Fortunately, my hair is very light in color. I knew the Mrs wouldn't like it and she didn't. She said don't do that again or I she may no longer allow me to dress up (she wasn't too angry fortunately). So, I'm ready to model my new dresses once they arrive! :) Nikki

[jamienoir]

When you dress now is your wife around.

[nikkiwindsor]

When you dress now is your wife around.


Jamie, sometimes she's around other times not. But, when she's around she doesn't want to see me dressed. Keeps telling me that sometime in the future she will. I can tell she's concerned that I may transition.

[nikkiwindsor]

A humorous story to share with a happy ending. About a week ago, my wife and I went shopping for a new car. When it came to settling on options I wanted fewer while my wife wanted more. We argued (or should say expressed our opinion) back and forth for quite some time with the sales associate sitting there patiently waiting for us to figure things out. Eventually, he gave up and left the room allowing us to keep discussing alone. Once he departed, my wife said to me I'll let you shave your legs and keep them shaved if you'll give me the options I want after all it's going to be my car. I immediately beamed back at her and said YES!!! as long as she'd let me keep my arm hair very short as well. She readily accepted the terms and commented on how quickly my attitude changed from argumentative to joy. If only she knew what gender dysphoria feels like and how expressing femininity in any way helps us feel better about ourselves. She's happy and I'm happy...yay!

[Gwyneth]

I'll bet she gets a lot of what she wants going forward. But I hope she knows how lucky she is to be with you.

And I've got to let you know how lucky you are. Unbelievably hot! Your latest pictures are fabulous. There's a lot more I could say, but your inbox is full! You are too popular!

[jamienoir]

I love reading your posts.

[Gwyneth]

I love reading her. Awful easy to look at too!

[Crissy 107]

Nikki, Great story! Crissy

[jamienoir]

Your story is interesting. Do some wives have less of an issue when it's just a man in a dress. Do they start objecting more if the makeup skills and dress improves.
In your case Nikki you have that slim leggy presentation, so I can see her not wanting you to go hairless. Has she seen you in that little red number?

I'm not gonna lie - you inspired me to lose weight for dressing.

[nikkiwindsor]

You may imagine or not be surprised to learn that my gender dysphoria complicates our relationship on so many different levels. Over time, I'll share them (in previous posts, I've touched upon them, but our relationship changes and grows so updates now and again are warranted). If we talk about weight and wardrobe those are topics of discussion if not issues between my wife and I. I lost and maintained my weight at about 168 pounds while my wife struggles to lose weight. She knows I'm greatly motivated to lose weight because I'm so focused (to the point of vanity) on how I look particularly in my bodycon dresses. Since she knows about my femininity and gender dysphoria she is well aware of my growing wardrobe. She's seen each purchase of mine (heck, I use her name when ordering all my things) ranging from the mundane little black dress and foundation garments (thank goodness for spanx and the like) to the OMGosh tight bandage dresses in above the knee and midi lengths. Now, my wife owns a couple skirts and a couple dresses and never wears them. Her excuse is that b/c of her weight (she's not that much overweight in my opinion) she wouldn't look good in either. Not true says I but she won't listen to me. Not to mention other reasons related to my feminine spirit and nature, my wife doesn't want to see me transformed and expressing my feminine side b/c she's a bit envious about my weight and knows I probably look pretty good in my body clinging dresses. She saw a few pics back a couple years ago that started this thread but I honestly don't know what pics she saw. Definitely, head shots were included in the mix for sure since I've always taken close up pics. But, as to what I was wearing I haven't a clue other than I know she wouldn't have seen me in my bandage dresses b/c I bought those since she stumbled across my pics. I hope in the future she'll be comfortable seeing me dressed up. Yet, I know a number of things will need to be addressed. And one of them will be just the subject we're talking about now. She needs to lose whatever weight will make her happy and feel good about wearing her dresses and skirts at least every once in a while. After that's resolved, we can move on to other aspects of my GD that have room for discussion and understanding between the two of us. All in all, we're in a good place and our relationship becomes stronger and stronger over time. When you can be open with your significant other about who you really are and how your really feel one's relationship is more intimate. Our marriage works b/c we are willing to grow and change, always be there for each other and try our hardest (it's difficult and we slip up regularly) not to judge one another. Again, I'll comment more about our unique relationship over time. And getting back to the latest twist in our lives, she's enjoying her optioned out new car while I'm thrilled with my smooth, bare legs and virtually hairless arms!

Nikki,

Jamie...I'm so pleased to know I inspired you to lose weight! Feeling good about how much the earth's gravity pulls down on us (whatever that is for each of us) is so important to our self-esteem, health and certainly, if not most importantly, for someone like me with a vain and insatiable itch for the most feminine of fashion, fitting into bodycon dresses!

[Becky Blue]

Great story Nikki, the funniest part of the story is when the sales guy returns to find you have caved in, he is thinking well we know who wears the pants in THAT relationship. little does he know who wears the dresses :heehee:

I am so happy for you that you can now keep your legs and arms shaved and your wife gets to drive her car with lots of extras. have you thought about what else you can trade?

[nikkiwindsor]

I've purchased an epilator and it works great! Painful, yes...beautifully smooth legs, you betcha!

Recently, I've started a new job a little ways from where my wife is living so she can take care of relatives. I have all my stuff w/ me but she's not comfortable with me dressing without her around. She's concerned that someone will peek in to where I'm renting and see me dressed up. She's also thinking the worse...what happens if I'm dressed up and then some malady befalls me. It's been 3 weeks since I've expressed my feminine side and my GD is building up something awful! I'm beginning to get frustrated and angry!

[danam]

Do not use a phone for pictures. Do not use a phone for pictures. Do not use a phone for pictures.

I use a NON-internet connected digital camera for ALL my pictures and videos. If you know me, you know that I have a LONG HISTORY as a crossdresser with voluminous pictures and videos.

BUT NONE ON MY PHONE!!!!

This is golden age for the intelligence and forensics industry because it is SO EASY to spy on people!!! Your phone is an enemy!!!!

I made a video, in character as Dana, to explain my point:

https://youtu.be/IvvBfRYT7Vc

[Stephanie47]

I have the safest way to view myself. It's called a mirror. Images are stored in my brain.

[nikkiwindsor]

Spoke by phone with my wife a little time ago...she's relented and has given me to go ahead to dress up without her in the house. She knows I'm starting to get upset and frustrated not expressing my inner Nikki. I feel like a warm breeze has swept over me and I can breathe. My cortisol levels are definitely going down. It's been over a month since I last transformed, expressing my femininity. I've probably forgotten my makeup routine, it's been so long. And my eyebrows are going to need so much work too...have to find a weedwacker or my pair of industrial strength tweezers! Off I go to get ready!

[nikkiwindsor]

When I see my wife next weekend, after having been away for about a month, she's not going to be happy with me at all. I don't eat as well when we're not together, hence my weight has dropped from 165# to 158#. While she tolerates my dressing she really gets upset when I lose weight. She says I look anorexic...do I look emaciated to you in my recent pic?

https://www.reddit.com/r/crossdressing/comments/9c7q5m/shaved_legs_arms_skipped_the_hose_slipped_on/

As I've mentioned in previous posts, she struggles to lose weight while it's easy for me. Couple of benefits that I'm enjoying...one, my measurements are now 39.5 in x 27.5 in (with corset and 31 without) x 39 in. Two, my size 14 dresses are hanging loosely...if I was to maintain this weight I'd have to drop a dress size to a 12 :o Nikki

[DaisyLawrence]

No you are not underweight in your photos Nikki. Nothing to worry about. You can establish your healthy weight range from a BMI calculater and then just make sure you stay in the healthy bit. The calculator on our NHS website is a good one and works for Americans too!

[nikkiwindsor]

Daisy, I'm happy to learn I don't look emaciated! I enjoy being thin but don't want to come across looking like I'm starving.

And I visited my wife after having been away on business for 3 weeks. Not surprisingly, she complained about my weight loss. But, fortunately, she hasn't asked me to gain any weight back as she's needled me to do before. She just needs a little soothing as she struggles to lose weight. And she had a little present for me...a couple packages of Neutrogena makeup remover towelettes :)

[MsEva]

Glad things are coming together. On a side note my SO found out in a similar way some 20 years ago. We are still together and she still loves all of me.

[nikkiwindsor]

I just saw my wife this weekend and she's repeatedly complaining about my weight loss. She doesn't mind my dressing. But, my weight loss, that's another story.

[Jane G]

It could be your wife fears loosing you to your feminine self. I would think she natrualy wants to keep the husband she knows, however excepting you may think she is. Things have already come a long way. There are times when you just have to decide how much to two women in your life mean to you.

[nikkiwindsor]

Jane...I think you could be right. I'll see my wife over thanksgiving break and I'm quite concerned. On the phone, she's been insistent that I gain back weight or she's not going to allow me to dress anymore. She wants me to weigh at least 170 pounds. I'm going to be very upset if I have to gain weight back. I'm so happy at 153 pounds and a 29.5 inch waist. The thought of again wearing size 14 dresses and having a 32 plus inch waist is disconcerting. I'm not sure what to do. Nikki p.s. And I just bought a size 10 dress and it fits beautifully and loosely. I want my slender body!

[AllieSF]

Your body, your control?? Is she at the correct weight? Sounds like blackmail, jealousy??

[nikkiwindsor]

Your body, your control?? Is she at the correct weight? Sounds like blackmail, jealousy??

Allie...it could be a combo of all the above. She's unhappy with her weight and despite years of effort she hasn't lost any pounds. It's likely due to her medical problems and approaching menopause. I know it's my body, but although she knew I had feminine spirit before we married she probably never thought I'd go as far as I have in dressing up. And yeah, she probably jealous too...all of this is so complicated. Where I go from here when I see her tomorrow I just don't know. :{ Nikki

[Anne K]

She might not recognize you, but may wonder who the other woman is. I think that’s more trouble than seeing you dolled up!

[Stephanie47]

Once upon a time I was six foot two, 170-175 pounds and wore a 38 Tall suit jacket; had a 32 inch waist; and assuming hips somewhere around 36 inches. I never had to measure my hips. I call it my military weight. I got zero grief from my future wife. I have pictures of myself almost in the buff at a beach in Chu Lai. I looked terrible. It looked as if the wind would knock me over. My old platoon leader told me recently that he could not figure out how I was able to carry 80-100 pounds in sweltering heat and humidity.

When you post pictures on this site are you padded top and bottom along with a corset. If your wife is seeing you totally in the buff, i.e., no chest and hip padding she may be seeing a total different image than we are seeing. BMI is NOT an indicator of good or bad overall health. Most of the medical personnel I see do not adhere to BMI calculations at all. Bone structure and body mass/muscle has a lot to do with it. In fact, our local military newspapers (Ranger and Air Lifter) have advertisement geared to military "overweight" by BMI standards to lose weight which is primarily muscle mass. There are a lot of stocky men and women with muscles but not enough height. One thing that totally gave me an emaciated look in my teen years (six foot two, 138 pounds) was a gaunt look in the face. My wife saw a picture of me when I was that height and weight. She thought I was deathly ill and wondered what illness I was recovering from.

Perhaps your wife is gauging your looks under different circumstances than we are seeing it.

[nikkiwindsor]

Once upon a time I was six foot two, 170-175 pounds and wore a 38 Tall suit jacket; had a 32 inch waist; and assuming hips somewhere around 36 inches. I never had to measure my hips. I call it my military weight. I got zero grief from my future wife. I have pictures of myself almost in the buff at a beach in Chu Lai. I looked terrible. It looked as if the wind would knock me over. My old platoon leader told me recently that he could not figure out how I was able to carry 80-100 pounds in sweltering heat and humidity.

When you post pictures on this site are you padded top and bottom along with a corset. If your wife is seeing you totally in the buff, i.e., no chest and hip padding she may be seeing a total different image than we are seeing. BMI is NOT an indicator of good or bad overall health. Most of the medical personnel I see do not adhere to BMI calculations at all. Bone structure and body mass/muscle has a lot to do with it. In fact, our local military newspapers (Ranger and Air Lifter) have advertisement geared to military "overweight" by BMI standards to lose weight which is primarily muscle mass. There are a lot of stocky men and women with muscles but not enough height. One thing that totally gave me an emaciated look in my teen years (six foot two, 138 pounds) was a gaunt look in the face. My wife saw a picture of me when I was that height and weight. She thought I was deathly ill and wondered what illness I was recovering from.

Perhaps your wife is gauging your looks under different circumstances than we are seeing it.

My wife hasn't seen pics of me en femme in almost two years. She says I look gaunt, in person, but I think I look good. In the current pic of me (in my blue maxi dress) I'm just wearing forms and no corset or hip padding. I like being thin...why can't she just leave me be?

- - - Updated - - -

Do I look gaunt in this pic? I took it this past weekend. I know I'm not anorexic...I just like being thin and I'm willing to plateau at my present weight of 153 pounds. I'm wearing my new size 10 dress.

[AllieSF]

Stay at the weight you like. You do not look too thin. You look thin. If it has been a long time since you have been at this weight, you gain some of it back anyway. Just wait and see. I have lost weight and liked my look, only to slowly gain it back. ask her top let you enjoy a thin body when you can.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Nikki,
I agree with Allie, you may look thin, but I wouldn’t say gaunt. As you know we are fairly similar in size
(and I will be raiding your closet one day!)
I’ve had sorta the same reaction from people that know me, but hadn’t seen me in quite some time.
I had shed somewhere in the neighborhood of 30lbs., and met these people after they had not seen me for a few months.
Several of them greeted me with concerned looks on their faces, and I did notice a few walk away with an OMG! look on their face as well. A few days later my SO happened to mention to me that several of them had asked her if I was ill.
Truth be told, I hadn’t felt so good, or been in a healthier condition for more than 30 years.

I think if you feel the same, you need to express this to your wife. Then give her some time to get used to the thinner you.

If that don’t work, and for the health of your marriage...order a pizza girlfriend! It’s OK to have a “cheat” day once in a while!
Much Love,
Kristyn
BTW, I’m envisioning you receiving multiple boxes of chocolates, and gift certificates to the “Never Ending Pasta Bar”
this Christmas???

[Becky Blue]

Nikki, my wife complains a lot when my weight drops, I have always been slim at 5 11. The heaviest i have ever been is 170... i am currently 163, at times i go down to 155. My wife says my arms and shoulders are so thin i look whimpy (her word) and dreadful... i know there is an element of jealousy there too but i can see her point, i of course love my skinny arms and small shoulders but she wants her husband to look more masculine i guess.

Your picture doesn't really show us enough of your body to really see how thin you are.. perhaps if your wife wants you at 170 and you want 153, maybe a compromise of 160 could work?

[DaisyLawrence]

Nikki, your wife is jealous, simple as that. There I said it. She's only human afterall. You may have the BMI of a model that she never has and probably never will and that manifests itself as jealousy. Have you ever heard a group of women talk about a 'friend' who has lost a lot of weight and looks gorgeous? Brutal it can be. The other day I was listening to some female friends and ended up saying "why don't you all go and bitch about her at the gym instead and then maybe eventually you'll have nothing to be so jealous of?". There was an abrupt stopping of the conversation followed by jaws dropping and glances being exchanged while thoughts were processed. Eventually the ice was broken when one said "ummmm, OK, fair enough, we deserved that" and then all was smiles and the chitchat started again. My wife does the same, she repeatedly tells me I 'look fine' and 'don't need to loose anymore weight'. I can assure you that if she was her ideal weight these things would not be said. Jealousy is the one human emotion I see the most and I don't like it.
Hey ho, no lunch for me :)

[KymberlyOct]

Nikki my comment doesn't apply to you but some of the other replies I have read in this thread. My ex knew for most of my marriage that I crossdressed but didn't realize for a long time the extent of my gender issues. It came out over time.

In retrospect I wish I had just come out with it all at once instead of the slow dipping the toe in the water. I remember the time she said to me "have you looked in the mirror? you look just like a girl"

That stuck in my head for years. I loved it actually. As our marriage worsened for other reasons she eventually weaponized it against me to hurt and embarrass me.

My advice to anyone that is crossdressing but hiding from their SO is to have a tough but honest talk with them. These feelings rarely go away permanently. Maybe they get put on the shelf for awhile but those same feelings eventually resurface.

Anything you need to hide in your life especially from your SO is a problem. Hiding it from the rest of the world is a different conversation - I did so for most of my life but from your SO? That is not going to end well.

[Stephanie47]

Reply to #216. I don't know if you look gaunt because I have not compared your look 'before and after,' and without the wig. I assume your wife would have noticed the difference. It may be more than she can visually accept. Losing the amount of weight must have come from somewhere. An ounce here. An ounce there. I will say in my case I lost 15 pounds after gall bladder surgery. Before my body went back to its 195-200 pounds my face did look gaunt. I developed creases in the face. As a visual my brother has lost 25 pounds due to diet change due to medical issues. He thinks he looks better. I think his viewpoint is tainted because his mind tells him he looks better. But, he has that gaunt look. Bones are showing where there use to be a layer of fat under the skin. It shows in his face. He may be healthier to some extent, but, on the other hand his lack of stored fat to be used in an emergency medical condition is gone.

I think your eye is going to see what your mind wants to see. I came to that conclusion when I look at pictures of myself in total guy mode as compared to the image I see in a mirror. Of course, your wife is processing the before and after 'you' in the same manner.

As a man my preference has always been Marilyn Monroe over Twiggy.

[DanielleLee]

Is there a particular reason this thread/post continues to re-appear that isn't in the same vein of the original?


Old Threads
All threads are closed within a time frame in each section. Please do NOT post in old threads that should have been locked, especially if they are more than 6 months old. This pushes down recent threads which is unfair to members. Please do NOT post in threads you've missed because you haven't been here, especially on the 3rd or 4th page, this is also unfair to members who have posted new threads. Any old thread found open to post in should be reported to a member of staff.

Happy Thanksgiving all!!! :-)

[Hell on Heels]

Sorry Danielle but (gotta hate it when the BUT word shows up) I find it a bit ironic that you would be posting here. Raising this thread from an impending doom as all the others. Some of us here are following along with this thread. Sure there may be lots of content, and it has somewhat changed from the OP line of questioning, but really not to far off track. It started with Nikki’s wife having issues with seeing Nikki all glammed up, now she has issues with Nikki’s appearance because of recent weight loss. In other words...Nikki’s wife has issues with Nikki. Now we could let this thread dye, and have Nikki start a new thread each time a question, or concern pops up, which would do the same thing as reviving this thread before the dirt gets tossed on its grave, or we could keep it open which makes it easier to see the previous posts and figure out how we got to where we’re at.
I say...if you see a thread you like swirriling the drain, go throw it a life jacket and post something to it.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[nikkiwindsor]

My visit with my wife and her family over Thanksgiving generally went ok. Yes, my wife was giving me a hard time about my weight but things settled down once she saw that I was eating heartily and not picking at my food. So, not surprisingly I gained a couple pounds over the holidays. She asked me to gain weight to at least 170 pounds. I simply told I couldn't be happy with myself at that weight. Now that I'm back home I've quickly lost those gained pounds and I'm back to 153 pounds. This is a good weight for me but it does require a conscious effort to keep this weight. Must eat carefully and exercise (running) every other day. I know she's going to bring up my weight again and I'm trying to figure out what my next strategy will be. I'm in agreement with several of you who think she's jealous of my weight. How I navigate the discussion knowing this is going to be tricky. I just want to stay at my present weight and not have anyone more discussion about it with my wife. I'm ready to move to other discussions about my femininity with her.

[kimdl93]

I haven’t really been following this thread consistently. I’m only now realizing hat it’s in effect a journal of nikki’s emergence. The discussion of weight loss caught my attention because once upon a time I lost a log of weight, down trom 235 to 168 on a 6’3” frame. According to the insurance industry charts it was deemed a healthy weight, but not on my frame. Someone with a slight build, perhaps like Nikki, may be just fine in that range.

as for jealousy? Nah, I’d say your wife is struggling with the changes she associates with Nikki’s emergence. That’s understandable.

[Stephanie47]

I do agree with kim that your wife is struggling with Nikki's emergence. I don't think she is envious of your weight loss. Her mental picture of you was developed over the course of your marriage. Your mental image of your self is different than her image of you. Maybe if she told you would look better as a woman with some extra pounds on you would actually look better. If I had to choose better Marilyn Monroe and Twiggie, I'd take Marilyn Monroe. Many women look a lot better with "some meat on their bones." I can only see the obsession of achieving the look you think you should have as having negative consequences in the future.

[nikkiwindsor]

Speaking about emergence, I want to go out dressed up and try to blend in. I need to approach my wife and see if this is something that we can slowly plan together for the future.

[Stephanie47]

Halloween just passed. That's usually the day when guys get a pass and go out en femme. Based on your postings you're wife does not seem to be on board with you wearing women's clothing. I suspect you will get a lot of push back on the idea. In a prior thread you said you're five foot eleven. Throw on a pair of heels and you're going to be very visible. That sort of kills the blending idea. Even GG's of five foot eleven stature with heels are going to draw attention. You used the word "together." Are you expecting her to accompany you or just help with your appearance. If she really will accompany you out of the house perhaps a trip to a convention would put her more at ease.

[nikkiwindsor]

Great point Stephanie...if I get permission from my wife to go out, I'll definitely wear flats to help me blend in since I'm 5'11". Didn't have the nerve, or really a good opportunity, to ask her over the holidays for permission to go out sometime in the future. Although she's ok with me dressing she certainly isn't very supportive. I'm hoping that could change. I think it would be best to go together to a transgender conference like Keystone perhaps. I think it would be nice for her to connect with other spouses whose husband/wife dresses en femme.

[Swottie]

On Samsung phones, there is a separate secured area that works like a second profile. Anything done in that section is invisible to the main profile and vice versa. Very handy. :)

[CONSUELO]

Nikki you look great in that picture. As long as your exercise does not become obsessive and you eat a healthy mix of foods, then your weight does not really matter.

[nikkiwindsor]

Yesterday, I saw my wife after having been away from her for a few weeks. Thankfully, she was happy to see that I gained a few pounds and she didn't give me any lip about looking emaciated. Also, she continued to be ok with my shaved/epilated legs, short arm hairs and tweezed/thinned eyebrows. All in all, I'm fairly content with where I'm at in negotiating with her my physical expression of my inner femininity.