55 & New to Crossdressing

[Billy]

Hello,
I have been fascinated with pantyhose since a youngster. Recently my underwear is worn and needs replaced and I have never liked the way it fit. I purchased several packages and decided to change to panties full time. I purchased a large supply of panties and pantyhose for both myself and my wife since some discounts were applied on buy 2. I decided that I wanted to crossdress in public. The other day I put on some panties, pantyhose, a dress and went to Savers in a different town. I purchased several items. I then went to Target and got a bra.

Next day I told my wife I want to crossdress in public.

I have facial hair and plan to keep it. I do not want to try to pass as a woman.

I just love the feel, sensation, and comfort of wearing women's clothing.

Billy

[Tracy Irving]

The pink fog rolled in fast for you. Enjoy it.

[RADER]

Billy;
Welcome to the forum. You will find and make many new friends here.
This is a great place to learn more about your CDing.
Enjoy.
Rader

[Julie MA]

Billy, glad you have joined us, and so quickly. What did your wife say about it?
Julie

[deebra]

Having facial hair, looking like a man wearing a dress is degrading and insulting to crossdressers and hurts our cause to be accepted by the public. Help us by not doing it.

[rachelatshop]

It hurts me to have to agree with you deebra, but unfortunately that is the real world we live in. At least that is the way it is where I live and I don't expect it to change much in the near future seeing the way the world is today.

[Dana44]

Welcome to the forum Billy. Yeah some of us try to pass as women, however there is some here that don't try to pass and wear facial hair. Welcome and looking forward to your posts.

[Allisa]

Billy if you feel good about your clothes and yourself than do what you want, there's no rules to CDing. We are a very diverse group and you are showing society just that, I'm sure other members who wear their facial hair will be posting also, you are not the only one.

[Lisa85]

You didn't disclose your general location, but if in the states, I would suggest reevaluating going out with a beard. Welcome

[Tracii G]

Welcome Billy glad to have you with us.
Lisa most parts of the country don't care what clothes you wear even if you have a beard.
Not sure what party of Calif you live in but it sure must suck if you have people like that living there.

[Billy]

I have been married to my present wife for 22.5 years. We just celebrated the day we first met Dec 17 1993. We have a wonderful relationship. I met my wife 7 days after my previous wife of 12 years asked me to leave. I had raised 2 children, cleaned house, worked full time, did all the shopping and yard work. That marriage came to an end because I purchased a business and told her that she had to live up to her responsibilities of picking up the kids in the evening because I had responsibility with the business. She wanted a divorce. I said fine and was relieved. I learned a lot from that first marriage. One thing is don't do anything you don't want to do and don't do anything for someone expecting that they will appreciate you. When I met my present wife who is 8 years younger than I am I shared my wisdom with her and we have lived a loving marriage where we respect each other and do not try to control each other.

I have always been honest with her. I would not feel right crossdressing without her knowing. Let me back up. During our marriage there were a few instances where I wore pantyhose to bed. She accepted that without any issue. She even purchased some fishnets but they didn't work out too good. A couple of years ago I was wearing pantyhose on occasion and she would launder them for me.

Prior to telling her that I wanted to crossdress, I had shaved my legs. She noticed because I cuddled with her in a way that she would stroke my legs. She commented that I had shaved my legs and I told her that it felt wonderful with her touching my shaved legs. She told me she preferred the hair. A couple of days later I went out crossdressed to a different town on the previously explained shopping spree. The next day my wife was home from work because she was complaining of a stomach issue but she was not in pain. I joined her in bed we were home alone and I cuddled with her. I told her that I wanted to crossdress. Told her the only person in the world that I care what they think or how they feel is her. Told her I don't want to have sex with men and only want to have sex with her. Told her I love her. I told her that I didn't care if my siblings new or the kids new. Together we have a 19 year old son in college and an 18 year old daughter. I told her that our children accept their friends for who they are and that they would accept me. She was obviously worried about people she knew finding out. I told her that she could just tell them and make a joke about it. Tell them "yea I don't know he wants to wear women's clothes so what." At that exact moment she didn't want me fondling her breast and was quiet. I let her be gave her a kiss and told her I love her. Later that day she came from the room and told me that she didn't want me to go out in public crossdressing. She told me that she didn't care about the panties or pantyhose. Obviously at this point she is not going out with me dressed to purchase and try on clothes. Sex is still good and there is no issue with the relationship. Rock solid.

She is the best woman in the world. She knows my love for her is sincere and that I will do any and everything for her and our marriage. However she knows that we need to be who we want to be. With all the panty orders, somehow a pair of slacks my size got shipped by mistake. I have been wearing them the last couple of days. She is fine with that.


One item I purchased was a woman's wool sweater. The funny thing is that a couple of days after the conversation I was wearing the woman's sweater around the house. My son, home from college, complimented me and said that it was a nice sweater and if I wore clothes like that people would look at me differently. A few hours later my daughter came home and also complimented me on the sweater. Today I wore the slacks and sweater to my sisters house for dinner and she complimented the sweater. My wife heard all the compliments.

As expressed I want to crossdress but do not want to be a woman. I would love to be wearing dresses and skirts tomorrow in public but I need to take this a little slow. The problem I see with dresses is that the top needs to be filled with breasts or it doesn't look good. I did buy a bra but I don't care too much about it. So she already knows that I can wear and look good in women's slacks. She is off next week and I am hoping to get her to go with me to acquire more slacks and some nice tops that can be worn with them. I think she will be fine with me wearing slacks and shirt with her.

[Lisa Roberts]

I could NEVER pass as a woman. Even cleanly shaven with the best of makeup.
Billy: follow your heart, damn those who tell you otherwise.
Very glad you took the time to post.
Lace and Smiles
Lisa

[Ressie]

Keeping a clean face isn't necessarily about passing. Facial hair is just incongruous with women's clothes. Just my opinion and I'm not trying to force it on others. Meanwhile, enjoy the many garments you'll be getting in the future (and what you have now)!

[Billy]

Having facial hair, looking like a man wearing a dress is degrading and insulting to crossdressers and hurts our cause to be accepted by the public. Help us by not doing it.

It is my first day on this forum and not my desire to create any enemies. However I feel that I must express that I am first and foremost an individual. I am venturing into unknown territory. I do not intend to harm any cause but my loyalty must go first to my convictions.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Billy:hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home !



~~~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS~~~~~

[GeorgeA]

You wrote:
have facial hair and plan to keep it. I do not expect or want to try to pass as a woman.

I just love the thought, feel, sensation of wearing women's clothing.


As you have already noticed, there are some that will criticise you for that. Just don't let it bother you. There are others that are sympathetic to the way we want to present ourselves. I have gone through that process here a couple of times and I hold no grudge to those that criticised me.
I also have facial hair and have not the slightest desire to resemble a woman. I have lingerie & nylons on for 24 hrs, and underdress when going out. Unlike you, I don't want to present a picture that is not commonly acceptable.
Welcome to the forum.

[Billy]

In this day and age, we are supposed to have tolerance and accept people of different race, religion, sexual orientation, provide a safe space for this person or group or that one. My own reasoning tells me that if I go out to the corner grocery mart once crossdressing there will be a certain apprehension for me and people I meet. If I go there tomorrow it will be less. If I go there everyday it will be normal. Whether it is one tiny market or the entire world, if I go out in confidence knowing that I am presenting myself the way I want to be presented..

Let's face it. A male crossdresser that is all dolled up that people perceive as a male crossdresser all dolled up, will gain no more respect than a man wearing pantyhose and a dress. How could I or why would I want to put on a wig, and makeup, and a bra that I don't need, and try to convince myself or my wife that I am heterosexual and don't want to be a woman and just enjoy wearing women's clothing? I want to wear the clothing I choose and develop the ability to go out in confidence however I present myself.

Me wanting to dress the way I want to dress does not mean that I would not respect or accept a man presenting himself as a woman.

From a logical perspective. I would think that acceptance would be easier for Billy wanting to go out as Billy in pantyhose, pumps, skirt, to my wife and everyone than it would be for me to try to introduce a third person Wilma, or Billie... that only exists when Billy is in the female mode. I don't have a female mode. I wake up and go to bed as Billy and Billy wants to wear the clothing he chooses.

I have done construction, manufacturing, office work, and was a nurse. My hobbies vary depending on what I am doing at the time. If I was restoring an antique vehicle from the frame up and it was all dirty and greasy I would not choose to wear nice beautiful clothing during that job. Deciding to be a crossdresser will not make me stop doing things that I want to do.

I think a lot of the stress involved in crossdressing is from hiding the fact that I crossdresser. I think every person is born with some type of thrill gene. I think people get excited knowing that they are doing something they are not supposed to do. I was thinking the other day that if I crossdress all the time it will be normal. The feeling / thrill will/could be gone. I don't know but I will find out. If I wear panties and pantyhose without the sneaking, what will happen? I am openly wearing panties now. I do not get an erection when I put them on. I like wearing them. I no longer have a desire to take them off and hide them after sex. I put them back on because they are my underwear.

I always hear women complain about pantyhose. They itch, fall down, roll down, snag, run....... They say worst thing ever made...... They are old fashioned, out of style... on and on. I now shave my legs almost every day and wear pantyhose everyday after I shower and lotion. Will I discover after time that I don't like wearing pantyhose? I wore them yesterday under my slacks. Sheer Energy Control Top. They stay up fantastic all the way to the crotch but, they will not stay put all the way on my tummy. The waist band rolls down to a place where my body creases. After wearing them for hours I noticed a little red mark on my side. Obviously where the mark was is not comfortable. The point is if I wear pantyhose as much as I want every day wherever I go and my wife knows, will I still want to wear pantyhose everyday, everywhere, in 5 years? I don't know but I will find out. I am a man and I want to wear comfortable clothing! If one day I do not like them anymore, then that will be a conscious choice. It should be normal for me to go to the store in trousers, jeans, slacks, skirt, or dress wearing men's or ladies shoes. When I do that daily then I will truly have choice and be able to critique what it is that I truly want to wear. I want to incorporate my crossdressing into my daily life so I can make prudent decisions in regards to my clothing.

[Julie MA]

Billy, Follow your heart. Julie

[Billy]

Thank you Julie.
Did I adequately answer your question concerning my wife's reaction?
Billy

[suchacutie]

Welcome Billy. My wife and I discovered my feminine self just after I turned 55, so your situation is very familiar to me. My wife has been just fantastic, teaching Tina how to go about being feminine, both physically and mentally. I do hope you and your wife continue moving forward together, wherever this journey leads you.

[Billie Jean]

Welcome Billy. I too have facial hair and have gone out to TG friendly clubs (see my avatar). I was greeted with open arms by the majority, mostly women. Just be you and enjoy yourself. I think your answer about being a man in a dress or trying to blend is right on the money. Billie Jean

[StephanieM]

Billy, Follow your heart. Julie

I agree, do what makes you happy. It doesn't hurt anyone if you wear the "wrong clothes".

- - - Updated - - -


Having facial hair, looking like a man wearing a dress is degrading and insulting to crossdressers and hurts our cause to be accepted by the public. Help us by not doing it.

I totally understand where you're coming from but the way I see it we all should do what we need to do to make us happy. Personally I feel weird if I have facial hair when fully dressed so I shave but to each their own.

[docrobbysherry]

Billy, I can relate to u on a number of points. Not so on others.

I began dressing in my 50's. But, never even thot of trying on women's things before then.

I wear a beard and stach in all my pics posted here. Including my avatar. But, I don't go out dressed without shaving.

I don't have a fem side. But, dress all the way or nothing.

I can't pass, ever. And, don't enjoy going out dressed alone for that reason. But, at home I want to look like a woman to ME!

I am what they call a fetish dresser here because I admit that sex is involved with my dressing. But, unlike u and MANY others here, there's no particular piece of clothing that pushes my buttons. Looking in the mirror and seeing a woman that looks NOTHING like me is exciting!

I'm wondering what your motivation is, (and others like u), that u wish to present in a completely obvious man in dress look? If u settle on slacks and no forms, that androgenous look will attract much less attention.

One final note: About 10 years before dressing ever entered my mind, I saw a muscely, heavily bearded man in a dress, no forms, and big men's work boots at Disneyland. At first, I thot he was one of the Disney characters. Except for the dress, he looked just like Paul Bunyan or a Norseman in a kilt. With his extra dark black six inch beard, stach, and hair cut a bit long like a manly man. Then, I realized his wife and 2 kids were with him. There was nothing fem about this guy. I guaranty NO ONE in their rite mind would have said a word to him!

Not so for 150 lb. me.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I'd be very, very careful in regards to the wife. You are going very far very fast. She may want to be supportive but may not be happy about all of this, especially the open and public crossdressing. We call this being in the "pink fog". I'd dial it down for a while and let her digest it all. Some of done too much too fast and it was a disaster with their wives, even when they said they were supportive.

[EffyJaspers]

Congrats on being yourself, everyone has their own opinion on whether cd's could have a beard (its my body, i can do what I want to), and your wife seems awesome. Still, as vicki said, slow down. Even if your SO was completely accepting of this, give her a little breathing room between going 0 to 100.

[Billy]

I'm wondering what your motivation is, (and others like u), that u wish to present in a completely obvious man in dress look? If u settle on slacks and no forms, that androgenous look will attract much less attention.

.

My motivation is to wear the clothes that I like. Honestly I think I could look just as good in a skirt suit as a man's suit and I would feel better. I would bet that if out in a skirt suit no one would know or think from behind that I was a man. Years ago people probably wondered what motivated a woman to wear pants. Attracting less attention seems like a way to take it slow. Last night my wife asked me if I was excited because I was wearing girls clothes (panties). I told her that I did not get excited until we started kissing and that she excites me and that I want to wear girls clothes.

I would be happy wearing woman's slacks that have nice fabric and are comfortable with a nice comfortable top. If I could wear this out in public and not get noticed that is a good thing. If I get compliments on my looks while dressed in women's clothing and my wife hears them that could support my cause. I don't expect to go out with her looking all femme. However, if I can get her to help me pick out some nice classy women's clothing that won't stick out, and I look nice in them and can wear them when out with her that is great. If I am wearing nice clothing that looks good on me my wife wouldn't mind being out with me and would give her a chance that would be great. We could probably come to an understanding that I wear women's shoes with slacks or maybe even a skirt when I go to pick up groceries but I go the extra 15 minutes to a border town where we never go together.

Lets face it. Realistically it could be legitimately argued that women's panties fit me better than men's briefs. There is no doubt in my mind that they fit better and are more comfortable. The same case can easily be made for a pair of dress slacks. Men's slacks are too tight, need to strangle my waist with a belt to hold them up. The shirt keeps wanting to come untucked. I know there are women's slacks that will fit me better, be more comfortable, and stay up better than men's pants. An easy case can be made by me wearing the one pair of new women's slacks that came by mistake with my panty order, versus wearing the second most comfortable pair of bottom clothing I own which is a pair of nursing scrubs. The thing with the scrubs is they don't stay up, when they slide down the inseam is halfway between my crotch and my knees. There is little chance wearing woman's slacks with the right top of having my pink panties or pantyhose noticed when out with her bending over. Obviously when underdressing the concern of keeping that shirt over the panties is legitimate, not that I would care at this point if people knew i was wearing pink panties and pantyhose.

I do not have slacks/pants that are comfortable to wear. Getting some women's bottoms that are comfortable and look nice will be a huge plus.

[Julie MA]

Billy, yes, thoroughly. You really are proceeding at high speed. I am going very slow with my wife. I, after all, have had 45 years to think about and experience CD. She has had 10 days. Julie

[Billy]

I have not yet suggested or know if I will suggest that we go shopping together. Today might be a good day to do that. We are going to the casino. In years past I liked to play poker and have recently been playing with play money chips online. In the past she would say that she didn't like to gamble and she would rather use the money to go shopping. We are going to a gambling establishment today and she knows I like to gamble. I think I will spend my entire day with her and when she asks me why I don't go play poker I might just respond, "I would rather go shopping with you than gamble."

[AKADonna]

Billy, I too can relate on several levels. While I've always had an interest in female clothes, especially bras and panties, I didn't act on those interests until I was over 60. I began to wear panties all of the time and when my wife discovered that, she had some anger that I had not discussed this with her before starting to wear. She thought i might be interested in a sex change or that I was gay, or any number of feelings. After she finally came around, one day, she tested my commitment by saying, "If you really want to dress like a woman, then you need to go and get a proper bra fitting!" I took up her dare, got the fitting and then began wearing bras every day in addition to the panties.

Slowly but surely, she began to buy me feminine things to fit and helped me with makeup, etc. Soon, I realized that she was really into it to the extent that she liked to feminize me. We began practicing chastity on the honor system, with Her in control. From there, we moved into a Female Led Relationship with me dressing and acting as her girlfriend, at least in private. I'm now 72 years old and enjoy being submissive to Her and enjoying my feminine side more than I ever imagined.

It's really funny how She went from denial to acceptance to driving the boat for both of us. I couldn't be happier!

If you are like me and several other older gurls, you will find that those feminine feelings and urges will become more frequent and pronounced as you age. I don't know if its related to hormones or what, but I now enjo my feminine side tremendously! Get ready, Billy!

[Becky Blue]

Billy you seem to have gone from zero to 100 in no time at all, my advice to you as someone of a similar age is to take a deep breath and slow down... it is not uncommon for these feelings to only start at your age, it is called late onset...

There is a fair chance that the way you feel today will change and probably change more than once. You are probably scaring your wife and whilst I am not suggesting you stop talking this over with her, I am just suggesting a level of caution as you may be making promises based on how you feel today, promises you may not find easy to keep one day.

I suggest you read as much as you can on the T topic both here and articles and books and just slow down.

[docrobbysherry]

Billy, I appreciate your detailed explanation of why and what u like about wearing women's things. The part about them being more comfortable sounds like a stretch to me.

One of the things I like most about women's clothes is that they AREN'T comfortable at all! Most women's undies tend to cause fall out and r synthetic. Except homely granny's. And, I prefer to wear girdles, cinchers, heavy forms or silicone prosthesis, wigs, synthetic fabrics, and 4"+ heels. Oddly, masks r generally the most comfortable items I put on!:heehee:

When I want comfort nothing beats cotton tidy whity's, a pair of cotton jeans or khakis, a loose cotton shirt, and leather boat shoes.

The bottom line is when u said u want to wear what u want. THAT I can relate to 100%! Which is all and good when done in private. However, I go out a lot dressed the way I WANT! And, I don't enjoy it much because I don't enjoy all the unwanted attention I get. Good and bad. But, mostly negative because I don't pass.:sad:

I support your rite to dress as u like, where u like. But, your SO aside? Be prepared for lots of drama if u go out often to new, vanilla venues as an obvious man in a dress.:straightface:

[SarahleeNH]

Communicating your feelings and convictions to those you care about, and respecting theirs equally is all that matters. Seeing a bearded man in a dress is a bit jarring at first, but the second time it is less so. I applaud you for your self assuredness. I too have a beard, fully under dress full time. Most of my daily clothing is understatedly feminine, but off the women's racks. Your courage will begin conversations about gender identity that need to be had, and I am proud of you for doing so. Listen closely to those you hold dear and go where your heart leads.

[Alice B]

I also started dressing at age 55. Lots of thought went into it and lots of discussion with my wife. Desire has never left and got strong enough to dress, go out in public, to partys and a 3 trips to DLV, dresssed for an entire week. Have completely enjoyed my dressing time.

[Billy]

Went out on date lunch yesterday and brought up the topic that I would like more clothing. My wife said it would be better if I just order online. I came home and did. Yesterday evening she went out to church with her parents. I washed all my pantyhose in the sink and hung them on the shower curtain rod. When she came home she asked me if those were all mine. I said yes. She wanted to know how I washed them. I told her in the sink with this special soap that is supposed to keep them in good condition. She was looking very beautiful and was removing her makeup. She asked me if I was going to wear makeup. I said no. She said that if I wanted to wear it I should find other crossdressers because she said they would be very willing to help me learn how to apply it.