It started with my girlfriend dressing me

[caitlyn louisa]

I used to always ask my girlfriend to wear black stockings and a garter belt. She would often say "No, you wear them". I liked that idea so one day (after I turned her down loads of times), I said they wouldn't fit meShe said that she would buy me some to fit.The following weekend, she produced a gift forme ! l told her I was only doing it if she put here on. After putting on the Basque and stockings, she asked if she could put make up on me. We had a fantastic time and it was clear to her that I enjoyed it. The following weekend, she bought me a long blonde wig and heels.I shaved my body next. Thats how it started for me and quickly progressed to wearing dresses. We no longer date but I think she has kept our secret.

[Dana44]

Oh my goodness why did you let her go? She was the one. It will be hard to replace her. However welcome to the forum. Take my rantings with a grain of salt.

[Rachelakld]

Such fun, wish it happened like that for me.
My daughter did her boyfriends make up the other week, I thought he made a very pretty girl and the whole family complimented how nice he looked :)

[ronda]

I wish I could find one like that I would be in heven

[TrishaLake]

That is fantastic great girl! enjoy it , it is hard to find

[caitlyn louisa]

Agree - I've never found another like her and I really miss our dressing up sessions. We went out a few times to a gay bar and that was great fun. The only thing I drew the line at was she wanted to bring her sister round when I was dressed up - I didn't want anyone else knowing.

[mona lisa]

Why did you two break up?

[Tracii G]

Why was it a gay bar why not a regular bar?

[emma-louise]

wow what an introduction to crossdressing x

[Krisi]

Why was it a gay bar why not a regular bar?

Yep, why was it a gay bar? And why do so many crossdressers talk about going to gay bars if they are not gay? Why not go to mainstream places where the emphasis isn't on sexual orientation but just having a good time?

[Maria 60]

She wanted to bring her sister. You know what they say "the more the marrier" Just kidding you know what you have to feel comfortable with.

[StephanieM]

Yep, why was it a gay bar? And why do so many crossdressers talk about going to gay bars if they are not gay? Why not go to mainstream places where the emphasis isn't on sexual orientation but just having a good time?

If I were to go to a bar dressed I would think a gay bar would be a safer environment. We basically just want to be in an environment where we feel people would be accepting of us. We really don't have places where crossdressers can hang out and be ourselves. I understand that some people may not want their environments invaded by other people.

What we really need are bars for everyone outside of the social norms regardless of sexual orientation.

[Tracii G]

Gay men feel about the same as regular people when it comes to CDers StephanieM so I never quite understood why CDers seem to think that a "gay" bar is safer.
A "gay" bar is not much different than a regular bar because there are gay/straight men/women in regular bars too.

[Adron2009]

This is a really good point. My SO and I were in a gay bar one time playing pool. The table was near a bar where two gay male couples were sitting. They kept looking at me and I heard one of the say "that is so gross, I don't understand why anyone would want to cross dress." The person saying it didn't intend me to over hear nor did they try to be discrete about it either. Nothing more was said and no harm came of it, but what a surprise, I didn't expect that at all. So as with all populations of people you will find those accepting and those that aren't.

[Acastina]

Those sentiments are not at all unusual in gay circles. Gay men, after all, first and foremost are attracted to men, not men emulating women. They may be attracted to you because they are aware that you have the anatomy they want to relate to, but you don't have the presentation that, in their minds, goes with the anatomy. There's a very strong element there that is plainly attracted to masculinity and averse to much of what femininity represents.

That's why the questions here of "why not go to a non-gay bar" make a lot of sense.

Now, how about a bar full of folks like us surrounded by admirers of both/all sexes?:daydreaming:

[StephanieM]

Gay men feel about the same as regular people when it comes to CDers StephanieM so I never quite understood why CDers seem to think that a "gay" bar is safer.
A "gay" bar is not much different than a regular bar because there are gay/straight men/women in regular bars too.


I realize that, I was just explaining the thought process that you were questioning. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but we do have a perception that gay people are more open-minded when the reality is there are plenty of gay jerks just like anyone else.

As for me I wouldn't feel comfortable invading someone else's safe space. The only way I would go is if it were with friends who are gay.

- - - Updated - - -




Now, how about a bar full of folks like us surrounded by admirers of both/all sexes?:daydreaming:

Yes that is what all of us would like.

[Jenniferathome]

Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me but ...

[pantyhoselvr kendra]

My girlfriend ended up being my wife. She dressed me up for halloween years ago and I have been dressing ever since. I don't go to gay bars, I am bisexual and prefer being with other crossdressers

[Becky Blue]

Wow Caitlyn how lucky was that, pity it didn't work out for you. At age 19 BB (Before Becky) I was at my then girlfriends house out of the blue she randomly said lets see what you look like in my clothes. Always one to be up for anything, she gave me a pink very girly top and pink shorts, she said I think you need boobs and we heard a car. It was her parents home 4 hours earlier than planned. i often wondered where it would have ended if they hadn't come home so early. We broke up soon after that... always wondered about that whole event, did she see something in me that I was yet to see?

[reinasblack]

Most gay men don't like crossdressers but you will be safer in a gay bar then a straight bar.

The gay bars in west Hollywood always has there share of CD's,DQ and TS

[Suzanne F]

Those sentiments are not at all unusual in gay circles. Gay men, after all, first and foremost are attracted to men, not men emulating women. They may be attracted to you because they are aware that you have the anatomy they want to relate to, but you don't have the presentation that, in their minds, goes with the anatomy. There's a very strong element there that is plainly attracted to masculinity and averse to much of what femininity represents.

That's why the questions here of "why not go to a non-gay bar" make a lot of sense.

Now, how about a bar full of folks like us surrounded by admirers of both/all sexes?:daydreaming:


That would be Divas in San Francisco. I was there two weeks ago!

[Krisi]

................... we do have a perception that gay people are more open-minded when the reality is there are plenty of gay jerks just like anyone else.

As for me I wouldn't feel comfortable invading someone else's safe space. The only way I would go is if it were with friends who are gay.



Perhaps gay people don't like the idea of non-gay people invading "their" space. Just like many straight people don't like the idea of obviously gay people invading what they consider to be "their" space. Of course, most gay men don't look any different than straight men so how would they know?

Personally, I worked in enough bars for enough years that I don't go to them unless I'm being paid. That said though, If I wanted to go to a bar as Krisi, my choice would be a "normal", upscale bar. Not a place with a gravel parking lot, one in a nice hotel.

[IamWren]

Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me but ...

:heehee: I knew Jennifer was going to say this.

[Krisi]

Most gay men don't like crossdressers but you will be safer in a gay bar then a straight bar.

Do you have proof of this or is it an assumption?

As I posted above, if you want to go to a bar, go to one in a nice hotel, not one with a gravel parking lot.

[Georgette_USA]

40 years ago WASH DC was a very segregated place for the LGBT people.
There were Gay places and few tolerated CD or TS, some did make allowance for Drag performers.
There were Lesbian places, some of those didn't like CD or TS but did tolerate them, and there were a few that loved having us there.

Now there are few strictly Gay or Lesbian places. Most are a blend of LGBT and straight.
Yes some of the Gay and/or Lesbian people are not big on CD or TS, but some love us all together. I have as many Gay/Lesbian close friends as I have the CD/TS.

Maybe you just have some older very rough places. Can't say any have gravel parking lots. Of course WASH DC is a very close/compact metropolitan place.

If you just want to go out, yes go to all the many places that the "Normals" go to. I go to mainly the LGBT places as in that's where the Lesbians/CD/TS are.

[Aunt Kelly]

Personally, I worked in enough bars for enough years that I don't go to them unless I'm being paid. That said though, If I wanted to go to a bar as Krisi, my choice would be a "normal", upscale bar. Not a place with a gravel parking lot...
Oh, Krisi. That image made me laugh out loud. I was never much of "bar" person, but I've been around enough to know exactly what you meant by that. LOL

[Mark/Rebecca]

We need to be careful about throwing out the "F" bomb (fantasy). Of course some are easy to spot and it tarnishes the blog, but this is our outlet for discussing and sharing these events. I am in the middle of something that frankly I barely believe is happening and yet I knew better than to share it because someone would throw out the F bomb and suddenly I would have to defend anything I share and worry about being discredited.
By the way Thank you Caitlyn for sharing that fun and loving relationship with us.

[deebra]

Would like to know the answer????
Why do some women like your X girl friend like guys crossdressed and others vomit????
If you know, let me know.

[Krisi]

There's no guarantee that anything posted on this forum is real. We assume that members are being as honest as possible without disclosing personal information about themselves but we can never be certain. I remember a person who got thrown off the forum for "not being who she said she was". This was a long time member with thousands of posts so she must have had a really good storyline written down somewhere.

So do we believe this story? It does sound a bit like something we might read in Penthouse, but then again, it could be true.

Bottom line of course is, it doesn't really make a difference in our lives so it's not worth worrying about.

[Patient_Flower]

My first time crossdressing was with a girlfriend when I was in high school. My junior year of high school I was dating a long time friend who was a freshman (early '90s). We had been dating for a while, and one day after some naked fooling around (no "all the way") I picked up her underwear/panties to hand them to her. Before handing her panties over I held them up to my waist, and did a little side-to-side hip wiggle/dance thing while saying "Wooo". She giggled, and told me to put them on. I was taken aback for a second, asked her if she thought they would fit, and she said to try. I put them on, then she asked me to put her bra on, so I did. Her pants, socks, & sweater fit me perfect (I was skinny. 5'7", 115 pounds, or so). The only thing that didn't fit me were her shoes. I got rather turned on wearing her clothing, and it felt natural to be wearing it; more natural than the guy clothes I wore on a daily basis. Some time later she put makeup on me, and we both got a great laugh out of it, but I secretly enjoyed it. I had always been jealous of girl's/women's fashion, but those moments are when I realized I wanted to wear women's clothing all the time.

[sometimes_miss]

As I posted above, if you want to go to a bar, go to one in a nice hotel, not one with a gravel parking lot.
^this is so true. In a nice hotel bar, there might be people who hate you because you're a crossdresser, but they won't physically attack you; they'll just go to work the next day and write legislation to ban you from 'their' space.

[Devi SM]

Wow! I read your last update and like someone else said, Why did you let her go?
Bring her sister to the game? wow!
Question, when did that happen? I mean, you start cding with your gf? How old were you?
I ask because one of the common elements in many crossdressers is they began in their childhood.

[michaelmichelle]

Its very close to how I started dressing. My girlfriend brought it up....we tried it. Both enjoyed it.
We are getting married next month!
:)

[Leslie Langford]

Those sentiments are not at all unusual in gay circles. Gay men, after all, first and foremost are attracted to men, not men emulating women. They may be attracted to you because they are aware that you have the anatomy they want to relate to, but you don't have the presentation that, in their minds, goes with the anatomy. There's a very strong element there that is plainly attracted to masculinity and averse to much of what femininity represents.

That's why the questions here of "why not go to a non-gay bar" make a lot of sense.

Now, how about a bar full of folks like us surrounded by admirers of both/all sexes?:daydreaming:

Fair enough, but how does that explain the fact that most drag queens are gay? Or fashion designers, hairdressers, and make up artists, etc.?

Why the obsession with all things feminine...clothes, heels, wigs, make up etc. - even to the point of being over-the-top in their presentation - and often being the featured acts in gay clubs, when there is allegedly no underlying attraction to the feminine amongst gay men?

[JenniferMBlack]

I don't normally go to bars dressed or not. If I do it is for a drag show which is at a gay bar and yes I will useally dress. I don't have anything against bars except they are there mostly to serve adult beverages, and as a former alcoholic not the best place for me.

[BarbraAnne]

Those sentiments are not at all unusual in gay circles. Gay men, after all, first and foremost are attracted to men, not men emulating women. They may be attracted to you because they are aware that you have the anatomy they want to relate to, but you don't have the presentation that, in their minds, goes with the anatomy. There's a very strong element there that is plainly attracted to masculinity and averse to much of what femininity represents.

That's why the questions here of "why not go to a non-gay bar" make a lot of sense.

Now, how about a bar full of folks like us surrounded by admirers of both/all sexes?:daydreaming:

And yet, the gay bars all have drag shows!

[Tina Post]

Well, it was lingerie and cloths that were my girl friends.

[reinasblack]

In Hollywood there is on robertson/santa Monica club blow and chi chi larues drag shows and there is Micky's on santa Monica with chi chi la rues mcing the drag shows and DJing at the gay strip clubs.

TS clubs have beauty walks and lip sync.

[Sandin Meknickers]

My ex was bi and it was her that suggested dressing in our relationship. I'd been "dressing" of sorts with opportunity long before then at 18. I didn't tell her this. She wasn't particularly generous and it was definitely about what she got out of it. We eventually drifted apart but she was great besidws this and it wasn't really anything to do with us splitting up.