Maria 60
12-26-2016, 12:39 PM
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!
If you read my last few post I'm trying to take a step back, what started as a Halloween drive went to a once a week drive, and then three or four times a week. I would just drive around, never get out of the car, I would hike up my skirt alittle and enjoy some attention of some trucks high enough that could see in the car. My fear was it was just a matter of time before I got caught, I decided to stop. It was easier for me to quit smoking then stop the urge to go out.
Opportunities at home are few, last Sunday my kids went to a concert and what I thought was a night to myself, I was reading the paper enjoying some Maria time when something came over me to go lock the screen door even though the kids weren't expected back for a few more hours. Well ten minutes later door bells ringing and threw the window I see my son trying to look in the window, WOW! trapped in the living room I run by the door and go into my bedroom. My wife opened the door for him and I heard him say they were at the concert and his girlfriend was feeling sick. Wow that was close, almost totally busted, if I didn't lock that screen I would have been trapped in the living room with no where to run. I was sitting on my bed dressed and not rushing to get undressed and thinking to myself "why me"? do I really need this in my life. The hiding and full time fear of being caught and starving for just alittle alone time and how much I would love to get a big box and just put an end to it all. We here all know it's not that easy.
During the week it was crazy at work and the feeling of the after shock of almost getting caught, Friday rolled around and having dinner out with my wife she told me the kids are all out and maybe I could have some dress time. I told her it didn't really matter and I was tierd of trying and not getting my hopes high. Well we got home and my sons girlfriends car was in the driveway and after entering they told us that they were going to a friends house, but his mother got sick and they had to rush her to the hospital. I then laid on the coach and my wife told me to sit up she had something to tell me, she told me to please get dressed and go for a drive, and to take her car because it has tinted windows and less chance of getting spotted. She told me to be careful of the Christmas spot checks and holiday drunk drivers. I refused and she then told me that she doesn't see me happy anymore and that I work so hard and to do something that makes me happy and to go for a drive.
I promised myself I wouldn't go out again till next Halloween, but my wifes persistency pushed me over the edge and I decided to go. It was amazing it felt so good just to be out, I got a coffee at a drive thru coffee shop, sat in the parking lot and enjoyed a coffee taking some time to organize my phone and felt so relaxing just being dressed. I wore a wrap around dress and let's say it unwrapped alittle drawing some attention from trucks, and felt good to be viewed as a women. I went out at seven and got in at three in the morning, like Cinderella I didn't want the night to end.
The next morning I felt great and my kids telling me I should go out with my friends more often that I looked more calm and relaxed.
It's just amazing that for the life of me I can't figure out what it is that runs threw our viens that makes us get this feelings. How is it as soon as I dress and get out, I just relax and it's almost like therapy, before the drive I was out of focus, tierd and almost a mild depression. How is it afterwards you feel so good and that anything I would have did in male life would have never calm me down like that.
It has so much power our need to express our feminine side that we ourselves can't explain and don't know it's true power over us. In its own way it's scary but I'm thinking of taking it one day at a time and still try to keep it in as much as I can? Thanks for listening, this is the only place that I could express myself and vent to what I consider all of you my friends. Happy Holidays
If you read my last few post I'm trying to take a step back, what started as a Halloween drive went to a once a week drive, and then three or four times a week. I would just drive around, never get out of the car, I would hike up my skirt alittle and enjoy some attention of some trucks high enough that could see in the car. My fear was it was just a matter of time before I got caught, I decided to stop. It was easier for me to quit smoking then stop the urge to go out.
Opportunities at home are few, last Sunday my kids went to a concert and what I thought was a night to myself, I was reading the paper enjoying some Maria time when something came over me to go lock the screen door even though the kids weren't expected back for a few more hours. Well ten minutes later door bells ringing and threw the window I see my son trying to look in the window, WOW! trapped in the living room I run by the door and go into my bedroom. My wife opened the door for him and I heard him say they were at the concert and his girlfriend was feeling sick. Wow that was close, almost totally busted, if I didn't lock that screen I would have been trapped in the living room with no where to run. I was sitting on my bed dressed and not rushing to get undressed and thinking to myself "why me"? do I really need this in my life. The hiding and full time fear of being caught and starving for just alittle alone time and how much I would love to get a big box and just put an end to it all. We here all know it's not that easy.
During the week it was crazy at work and the feeling of the after shock of almost getting caught, Friday rolled around and having dinner out with my wife she told me the kids are all out and maybe I could have some dress time. I told her it didn't really matter and I was tierd of trying and not getting my hopes high. Well we got home and my sons girlfriends car was in the driveway and after entering they told us that they were going to a friends house, but his mother got sick and they had to rush her to the hospital. I then laid on the coach and my wife told me to sit up she had something to tell me, she told me to please get dressed and go for a drive, and to take her car because it has tinted windows and less chance of getting spotted. She told me to be careful of the Christmas spot checks and holiday drunk drivers. I refused and she then told me that she doesn't see me happy anymore and that I work so hard and to do something that makes me happy and to go for a drive.
I promised myself I wouldn't go out again till next Halloween, but my wifes persistency pushed me over the edge and I decided to go. It was amazing it felt so good just to be out, I got a coffee at a drive thru coffee shop, sat in the parking lot and enjoyed a coffee taking some time to organize my phone and felt so relaxing just being dressed. I wore a wrap around dress and let's say it unwrapped alittle drawing some attention from trucks, and felt good to be viewed as a women. I went out at seven and got in at three in the morning, like Cinderella I didn't want the night to end.
The next morning I felt great and my kids telling me I should go out with my friends more often that I looked more calm and relaxed.
It's just amazing that for the life of me I can't figure out what it is that runs threw our viens that makes us get this feelings. How is it as soon as I dress and get out, I just relax and it's almost like therapy, before the drive I was out of focus, tierd and almost a mild depression. How is it afterwards you feel so good and that anything I would have did in male life would have never calm me down like that.
It has so much power our need to express our feminine side that we ourselves can't explain and don't know it's true power over us. In its own way it's scary but I'm thinking of taking it one day at a time and still try to keep it in as much as I can? Thanks for listening, this is the only place that I could express myself and vent to what I consider all of you my friends. Happy Holidays