Risky behavior, maybe a desire to get caught

[Samantha Sometimes]

So it would be a big big blow to my life if I got caught but I keep on pushing the envelope with risky behavior doing things that could easily get me busted. Underdressing all the time and putting on full make up when I know I only have a few minutes etc. Do any of you find yourself doing these types of things?

[DIANEF]

Well, who do you want to get caught by? are you married or with a partner? Depending on who it is can have very different outcomes. I'm currently closeted but do find myself letting something slip every now and again.

[Julie MA]

With freedom comes the desire for more, especially if that freedom has been hidden or pent up. I definitely take more risks, nothing dangerous. But I want it all to feel more normal. Problem is that others may not want to see/know, may be frightened by too much change, and may never accept it as normal. I wonder if there was no risk, would the normal become boring, like so many other things in life.

[Maria 60]

That's human nature, always wanting more and always pushing limits. I'm married and in the closet, if you want to call it that, my wife accepts and is supportive. But that's not good enough, I have to go out and go for drives, but I'm not happy just taking drives, no I have to lift the skirt show lots of leg and get attention from trucks that can see in my car.
Why, why do I have to take it that far.
Sorry it seams like you were asking a question and I'm trying to get you to answer mine. We just always want more and taking these little risk and chances is not a sign of wanting to get caught, it's just the fun we have trying to see how far we can take it. Just my opinion

[Micki_Finn]

Sounds like you might be more addicted to the adrenaline of possibly getting caught than the actual dressing. Do you dress when there isn't a chance of getting "caught"?

[joanne51]

I have a 2 hour period when I wake up on weekday mornings when my partner is asleep and I am getting ready for work. I wear a bath robe
so I can cover whatever I wear. I manage to put on bra and panties along with tights and breast forms. Over the top I slip on a nice dress.
Occasionally my partner will get up to go to the bathroom, but usually is half asleep and just wanders back to bed afterwards.
I'm sure one of these days I will get caught. This coming year I will have to come out to her (it's long overdue, and I have too much in my collection
that is not getting worn enough. Joanne is being denied her place in my life.

[Tracii G]

No because I'm not stupid.
You have the I want to get caught syndrome which seems to be a popular thing here lately.
You might as well come out and just get it over with because it will be worse when you get caught.
Use your head for something other than a place to put a hat.LOL

[Tracy Irving]

If you want to avoid getting caught, you know what to do. There are plenty of ways to stay out of trouble.

[karrin]

Risky,indeed, showerd put on panties ,bra and stockings slipped into a pair of palazzo pants, (was in heaven) their rayon with sheer overlay t-strap 3" heels and salmon top, then walked out my front door, down my steps to get the mail, good grief.

[Barbara Black]

There's also the aspect of justification. The feeling that we shouldn't have to hide what we do, and risk getting caught to inform others that we are around and sometimes are not just embarrassed, but feel justified to wear what we want to, when we want to. Standing up for ourselves at the risk of embarrassment, shame, and self-ridicule, as well as standing up for all crossdressers who haven't the strength to take their own risks towards informing the mugs around them.

[Sara Jessica]

No because I'm not stupid.
You have the I want to get caught syndrome which seems to be a popular thing here lately.
You might as well come out and just get it over with because it will be worse when you get caught.
Use your head for something other than a place to put a hat.LOL

Totally!

I can see it coming...

"Long time listener (lurked for months/years), first time caller (join date 10/2016). Dives head first into a pool of pink goo only to come back to the forum and plead for pity.

Anything we do is all about risk/reward and whether we are prepared to own it should you know what hit the fan. Given that you open with "it would be a big blow to my life...", you really should re-think the risky behavior.

[docrobbysherry]

Dressing often turns me on. Getting caught is NOT one of my fetishes! Almost getting caught became so stressful for me I had to tell my live in, adult, daughter before she did.:doh:

If almost getting caught blows your hair back? Go for it, Sam!:D

[Samantha Sometimes]

Micki Finn I've been dressing as long as I could put on clothes! I've just wanted to stay dressed longer or do it more lately I guess

[Stephanie Julianna]

Getting caught takes away the choice to tell a SO in a more calm venue. It may give you a sense of danger but I can tell you from experience it's not fun.

[Krisi]

Tracii G tells it like it is. There are situations you can't avoid like your house catches fire while you're dressed and you have to run out in the street dressed to save your life but most situations can be avoided if you just use your brain.

[Lily Catherine]

Before my family found traces of me, I never wanted to get caught. I don't even understand the appeal behind wanting to get caught, although it seems another rampant trope in fetishistic crossdressing literature. I prioritised the discretion to tell over the risk of being found out. It would only be wiser to come out first out of your own volition (especially if you are going further than mere crossdressing) than to be sneaky. I learnt the hardest way.

[Stephanie47]

I've been in a DADT marriage for decades. When we were first married we engaged in "bedroom play' which entailed me wearing a nylon nightgown and hose and garter belt on occasion. When my interest in women's clothing became stronger I was buying slips and panties and finally a bra. The bra led to a discussion and DADT. So, she knows I am a cross dresser. She assumes I wear women's lingerie when I have the opportunity, although she does not know the extent of my wardrobe. If she did, she think I was crazy..totally crazy.

Anyway, even with DADT there are hints. She told me on occasion when I would pick her up after church she would notice some residual of makeup on my eyes. I am fortunate that my wife does not drive due to a depth perception problem, so there is a reduced chance of unexpected early arrivals.

There were times when the compulsion to wear anything was intense and that would cause risky behavior in the sense of too little time to dress and undress quickly. Now, if I do not have the better part of a day...it's not worth the effort.

I did engage in risky behavior in my thirties. There was two Halloweens when I went out after she and the kids were in bed. I was fully en femme including makeup and nail polish. I would dress at home and sneak out, but, undress in some parking lot and remove the makeup. With hindsight did I really think my wife did not realize I was gone? She never said anything. I also would dress and take rides in my car fully en femme. Again, I'm sure she knew. I think she just did not want to create a confrontation.

Anyway, wives are not stupid and not observant. I bet she know. It's just a matter of time before you're caught in the act. Just hope your wife catches you and not a neighbor who spreads the knowledge before your wife knows. Good luck.

[TrishaTX]

I used to do that and got caught lol! It might be better to just have the conversation...

[sometimes_miss]

I don't even understand the appeal behind wanting to get caught
It's the basic desire to be loved for who we really are. I think that many of us who are closeted, often get down on ourselves, believing that no one could ever love us if they found out we are crossdressers. So when we live in the pink fog for a while, sometimes we forget that the odds are so great against us, and hope that someone will 'catch' us being out and crossdressed, and be happy with us that way. It's what we want so much, that sometimes we just push any negative consequences out of our heads.
I've been there. I was married; I had gone over it in my head a thousand times, surely all the good things about me would more than outweigh a little thing like wearing female clothing once in a while, surely my wife would see that I was the same wonderful guy she'd been with for years. It would just be 'one of those things', a little quirk about me. Something we could chuckle about when we were old and gray.
And then she found out. And it was none of those things. My dreams came crashing down, under her wrath about my horrible behavior, how I deceived her and ruined her life.

Want to get caught? Be careful what you wish for. If you can accept the worst possible outcome, then good for you. It didn't work out very well for me.

[Aunt Kelly]

Sounds like you might be more addicted to the adrenaline...

You say that like it's a bad thing. :battingeyelashes:
Yes, lifelong adrenaline junkie here. There's hardly a thrill sport that I haven't tried at least once, though as a pilot I have never felt the need to jump out of a perfectly good airplane... But I digress.
With my thrill seeker bonafides established, I can say I never relished that particular rush (getting caught). Did it once, as a young teen. Mom caught me wearing her panties. No fun at all, IMO. I suspect it would be much the same now, some forty years later. I could deal with the stares and ridicule, but I wouldn't subject myself to it deliberately.

Now here's the weird part. I do somewhat enjoy shopping en drab and that moment when the light goes on for the SA. But then I guess that's not usually much of a risk. They're almost always very cool about it and that's far more of an affirmation than an adrenaline rush.

Don't get my wrong. I'd never judge a fellow thrill seeker by her chosen way of getting that adrenaline fix, but maybe things like rock climbing and whitewater kinda spoiled me. :o

[Becky Blue]

I don't believe you are doing it to get caught. I think its probably more about being unwilling or unable to stop doing whatever it is you do... some call it the pink fog.

[Nikki A.]

In the past I was more careful in where and when I dressed. Now the kids are grown, have their own places and I really don't care that much about my job being at risk. I've started dressing more again and don't really care about the consequences.
Do I have a desire to get caught, no, but if someone finds out so be it. I am not harming or trying to get over on people, I just want to be who I am.
For the longest time I was afraid to let my children in on my secret, I just spent some time with them and was having issues with my knee and walking. I asked my daughter if she minded if I picked up some support p/h for some relief. Obviously she figured out it wasn't the first time I've used them. Maybe I will eventually tell her everything, I think she'd be more understanding than my son although he actually is pretty mellow also.

[karynspanties]

There is a certain thrill to possibly getting caught. I know I went through that faze. But now at 53 years of age, I have decided that I am going to live how I want and not how everyone else thinks I should . When my kids were younger (preteens) they went snooping for Christmas presents. They went into my closet, saw my stuff got their curiosity peaked and when through my dresser. They know dad is transgendered. I do not outwardly dress in front of them, but they know. My daughter has seen me and so has my oldest son. I will in the warmer months go out on the patio and have my morning coffee wearing a long gown, full slip or a chemise, padded bra and my femme robe. Neighbors have seen, I do not care. Nothing bad has happened so far. But some neighbors may not be as open or progressive as mine, so you need to be aware of the outcome should you get caught. May not be good.