Where is everyone?

[Maria 60]

My wife sometimes comes on this site and reads some threads, she asked me there are so many people on this community and we read from a few other sites. She reads a lot of threads about" being out "or "driving dressed "and the members are from our area. She then asked me where are they, are they that passible that we don't notice them. In the last few years we have seen maybe 2, and never seen any driving. WHERE ARE THEY? I asked her why she cared, she said that since I haven't had much time at home that maybe tomorrow I could drive her to work and I can spend a day to myself and drive around and pick her up after work. I'm not very passible but her problem is, she would feel more comfortable if she would see more of us and if I was out more, I would be the only crossdresser wherever we would go. It is very risky during the day but with her encouraging me I might go for it.
So where is everyone?

[Becky Blue]

Your obviously in the wrong place at the wrong time... I have seen 3 this week in different parts of Melbourne.

One was a guy with a beard in a red dress (see my other post) one was a very well built muscly well made up big person in a very tight sundress and the third was an quite passable older person.

[Elizabeth G]

I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of CD's I have seen when out and about in my area, but then again I am not very observant and have likely missed many others.

[Julie MA]

Since joining this forum I have made a point of looking, and reading people. Haven't seen one that I read as CD. Maybe my reading isn't on point yet. Near Boston area. And it's winter so maybe they are just to bundled up to tell.

[sara66]

I think some of us blend way better than we think. Most people one see what they expect to see. Think of the experiment with the elephant walking through a room and most people do not notice.
I know a lot of us are hyper aware of CDs. Still I can only recall see two gurls in the wild.
Sara

[mona lisa]

I saw a few when out in the Seattle area but have not seen any that I am aware of in the New York area yet. Of course its also possible they were around me and I did not recognize them...either a testament to their ability to pass or me simply not being aware of my surroundings.

I will assume its the former.

[ronniegirl]

Good question..where is everyone? I think if you can believe the statistics that maybe 5% of the male population crossdress to some degree or another , and then a much smaller percentage of this population goes out in public, that would explain why we don't see us IMHO...Like looking for a rare bird out in the wild...Of course I believe a lot more than 5% might underdress but that obviously would be a bit harder to spot..:D..

[Ressie]

I don't know where you're are Maria, but I know a lot of people in my area of around 200,000 people. Just as a comparison, I hardly ever run into people I know when out and about. I know a few CDs in my area and I've never seen any of them out. I have seen more CDs out shopping in the last couple of years than I have in the previous 20 years. Still only a handful though.

[CynthiaD]

The only CD I've ever seen is a guy in Las Vegas wearing a brides maid dress with a full beard.

But I always take people at face value. So as far as I'm concerned, if you're dressed like a woman, you are a woman.

[DIANEF]

Probably seen two in the past year, and even one of them I was unsure about. Think I actually caught a CD on camera, unintentionally I might add, when taking pictures in my local city center, just too distant to be sure.

[Krisi]

The only crossdresser I've ever seen in public was my own reflection in a store window. I did see what I assumed to be a transsexual who was a student at a beauty school my wife and I went to once.

I was once told on this forum (in a pretty nasty way) that they are everywhere, all around us. Well, you can say anything on the Internet but that person obviously wasn't walking in my shoes, in my town.

So to answer Maria's question, there are parts of the country where this sort of behavior is more common and parts where it is less common. Maybe the folks living in these areas will answer.

- - - Updated - - -


......... I think if you can believe the statistics that maybe 5% of the male population crossdress to some degree or another...........

I don't know where you came up with that statistic, but I have serious doubts. Maybe 1%.

[Tina_gm]

CDers are much more rare than gay people even. And the percentages there vary quite a bit, but maybe 5% of the population is same sex attracted at some level. That seems to be the most common figure, although you will read here and there it is higher. For the trans something or another crowd, I agree, probably only a fraction of that. And of that, only a small percentage are seen out and about in day light hours in the general community. And then the tendency is to be in safe accepting areas. In my area, big foot, UFO's and the lockness monster are all much more of a common sighting. I have seen a few young mixed gender presentations. People like me... are either in the closet or take our excursions to a place better suited. That is not only for a better time out, but unfortunately in my area, for safety concerns as well.

Go to provincetown in cape cod, or Greenwich Village in manhattan. There, CD sighting are at the very least a common occurrence, and I have always seen some every time I have been to those areas.

[Cheryl T]

It's not that we aren't out there it's just that most people have tunnel vision when they are out.
How many times have you been to a mall and a friend came up and said hi and surprised you? You didn't see them, but they were right there.

People have their own business to attend to and don't go out "looking for T people". Their focus is on, I have to get this or that, I hope they have the skirt I saw last week, is this really a good sale. Just sit at the mall sometime and watch people. They ignore most everyone that is not somehow involved in what they are doing. That's why most miss us even though we are there.

[Fiona123]

I live in a Midwest city of about 60,000 people. I have seen two crossdressers, a young gal at the library and an older gal at the grocery. The are is notoriously conservative and church dominated so it does not suprise me that many of us remain closeted.

[Pat]

Outside of Provincetown where it's more remarkable if you go a day without seeing a crossdresser, I've seen a number out-and-about that I'm sure of and a few I'm unsure of. In my town of 9,000 people I know of four of us who are out walking around daily which means I don't know all of us in my town. ;) But if we were to estimate 1% were out and about, that would be 90 people which would be a noticeable number of folks, so I don't think it's that high.

[Tracii G]

I don't look for them and wonder why anyone specifically looks for CDers.
There are quite a few in my city and I do run into some of them frequently because we shop at the same stores and grocery.
Other than that I may see many more and I just do realize it because they pass so well.

[Lorileah]

Agree with Cheryl T. People have agendas. If you don't interfere with their agenda they don't see you (works both ways). One would assume (and it seems reinforced here) that those who aren't drag queens or fetish dressers try and not be seen in public...your blending so to speak. Honestly, I rarely "see" transpeople in public. I assume they are fitting in and don't attract attention. I am out daily, I pass hundreds of people in public. Maybe 1 or two notice. Of those maybe 1% actually give me an indication they know. But to be fair, I am transitioned and I am just living my life. So in the broad scheme of things, I am not doing anything...especially on a normal routine basis to be seen. My night life is different. I dress to impress when out. Most of the time even there, people only give me a cursory glance.

Statistics mean nothing. Especially when it comes to being a transgender person. At least half here would NEVER admit to being any sort of TG for whatever reason. So getting a number of how many is impossible. It is complicated by how you define yourself. The OP is hunting the elusive out of the closet, in your face, look at me cross dresser. While walking down the street you have no idea how many are secret.

My advice, quit looking. What does it matter to you anyway? You're on this site. You know you aren't the lone ranger. Go with that.

Oh, and I assume that you know you can't let your SO read this site from your account. She is welcome to read the public areas or join. In fact, we would LOVE her to join. :)

[carhill2mn]

I am out and about several times every week. However, you may not know it if you met me.

[susan54]

Here in Scotland you see people who could be men dressed as women occasionally but they could also be TS. Even those of us who go out dressed may not do it very often so the chance of seeing a CD is way lower than the percentage who go out suggests. If you dress well and walk well you go unnoticed except by those you interact with or stand next to in a queue, when people actively look at others. So - low percentage CD low percentage of these go out dressed, most go out only some of the time, and only do things that give time for you to realise they are CD some of that time. Also even when passers by suspect, adults generally try hard not to stare.

[Tina_gm]

I think most of us by nature are going to be on the lookout for CDers dressed. Not saying that WE are never fooled, but probably the least likely fooled. Even some of the guys dressed as guys, how many of us sometimes spot potential "tells" eye brows, nails a bit long, just a femininity most guys don't exhibit....

I don't know the numbers, but there are a couple hundred or more very active posters that we who are active recognize on here. So lets say every one of us was to simultaneously go out all in the same town of about 50,000, but spread out pretty even. Now add in some of the not so reg posters, and add in the other popular internet watering areas for us. That still will only be a small single digit percentage of people, so with us spread out, the likely hood of us seeing a lot of the others will be not very good. We would probably see a few others, but it would be just that.

These sites are from us who are all over the world. hundreds of reg posters and hundreds more who pop in here and there. On here it seems like we should be seeing each other out more often. The math simply is the transgender is a very small minority. Add in small rural or suburban areas that are not keen on acceptance and you see someone out dressed as often as well, just not often.

[Dana44]

I know of several here in Central Texas, but never have run into them out and about. I image t is like finding a rare bird. And some pass pretty well.

[Ally 2112]

I live in a smaller community and even i do visit the big city once in a while i really have not seen one of us .Or at least i don't think i have ?

[Ceera]

I'm in Eugene, Oregon, and very actively out and about here. It's a college town, and very open to the LGBTQ community. I'm usually doing things en-femme publicly at least one to three times per week - pretty much any activities you can imagine, from grocery shopping or mall shopping to walking my dog or attending dances. I've bumped into other TG/CD people at shopping malls, grocery stores, and of course at LGBTQ-friendly bars and nightclubs. But honestly, if you saw me driving past you in town or walking past you in a store or at a bar, you probably would not realize I wasn't born female. I don't stand out like a 'man in a dress' with no makeup would. Even if I talked to you, I have a fairly passable voice and mannerisms.

I was also very 'out and about' when I lived in Austin, Texas. One nightclub I went to every week while I lived there had at least 6 other CD/TG ladies as regulars, and I saw others like myself all over town. It wasn't frequent, mind you, but it was a rare month when I didn't see at least one CD/TG person away from any 'expected' LGBTQ venues. I even knew one TG girl who was a sales associate at a jewelry counter at Macy's.

[immindy]

I'm here in the Cincy area and often doing business while presenting as a woman . O , and I am personally " notoriously conservative and church dominated " Fiona , just saying :)

[sometimes_miss]

CDers are much more rare than gay people even.
While there are lots of crossdressers, the number who ALWAYS crossdress are a very tiny fraction of that.

Also, it's like real estate: Location, location, location. Go where the crossdressers go and you'll find more of them. Go to, oh, biker bars, and you'll probably go a lifetime without seeing any.

[Jolene Robertson]

In my area I've seen maybe 2 or 3 over the last 4 or 5 years while out and about during the day. I get out dressed 3 or 4 times a month and usually don't get a second look (I think most people see what they expect to see at first glance) and my wife watches for reactions. I do get clocked sometimes but it's usually because I did something stupid, like last week I had on a nice slacks outfit but wore a denim coat that did not really go with the outfit and one guy at Staples did a second shot, (my wife started laughing). So yes we are out and about but as others have suggested, maybe most pass (at first glance) better than you think.

[Allisa]

I am out just about every weekend doing my chores and other everyday things, mingling with the public, going about my business, if they look they can surly see me. I have seen others(CDers) that are doing the same as I am, normally we just smile a smile of acknowledgement and off we go. I think there are many out there just "blending" and unless you get a closer look and stare no one is the wiser. There are quite a few people who know me in both modes and our interactions are that of two human beings just being who we are. Funny but I think that is one of the first questions we ask ourselves "am I the only one in the world that does this?"