Should I tell my sister about me

[hunnybun]

Hi,
I'm 55 years young and have been a lover of girly things since I was a tot, I was teased a bit by my sisters when I was young and they often called me princess Ina, anyway, both of my sisters are quite a bit older than me and only one lives local, I love them both a lot but we're a strange family and don't talk as often as we should, our parents passed on long ago.
My dilemma may seem inconsequential but the older I get the more I feel that my sisters should know about my dressing and such, after all they were a part of my development into the cross-dresser I am today.
Should I confide in them? will there be any benefit in doing so? if I decide to do it then how should I go about it.
I think deep down I'd like everyone to see the real me but that's not going to happen.
I'm trusting that the fine people on here with the combined knowledge of such things can help me shake off this really depressing feeling.

Hunnybun.xx

[Aunt Kelly]

Hi, Hunnybun.

I wish I could give you the right answer, but you are the best one to decide what you should do. What I can do is suggest that you consider it carefully and thoroughly. Keep in mind how such a revelation might affect your sisters and your relationship with them.

You will find heartwarming stories here about the love and acceptance from family members after such a revelation. You will find more that went the other way, so as I said, consider long and hard.

Know that we all share, or have shared, your anguish at some point, and that we will give you all the support and insight that we can.

Hugs,

Kelly

[Acastina]

Sisters tend to be a loving lot, at least in my experience. I know nothing beyond what you've shared about how you came to be somewhat estranged, but I would encourage you to re-establish old ties before offering new ones. They may well be missing you (and everything they remember about you) too. Just a little "We're not getting any younger, and I miss keeping up with your life" can open a lot of doors.

Get talking again regularly, pointedly, and you'll know when and if the time is ever right to open up. You'll be the best judge of that.

Good luck.

[Abbey11]

Hi Kelly, no one can tell you what is the right decision for your own individual situation, but look at it from both sides, what would be the benefit to them of knowing ?

[Rachelakld]

My sister & I always look out for each other and except unconditionally.
My sister and her husband used to mention I was the girl anyway (in a nice way) for decades
So when I showed my sister a picture of me in girl mode, she was like "that's what makes you, the you we love"

[CherylFlint]

The chances are they’ve either suspected it or plain out know that you’re a CD.
I’d tell them if I were you, as long as you can trust them, which I take it you can since you’re thinking about it.
I came out to a friend (a real girl) of mine not too long ago and it was GREAT!
I can pass so I told her to meet me at the food court at the local mall.
I wore just a regular skirt and blouse with flats. I looked just as 101 sales ladies at the mall looked, although my blouse was semi-sheer.
I was at a table when she walked in. She sat not too far away from me and when she looked over I smiled and waved and she smiled and waved.
Little while later I got up and got a coke and when I was returning to ‘my’ table walked by her and asked if I could join her, I said, ‘Hello, mind if I join you?’ and sat down.
And then I told her I was ‘me’.
And that’s how I did it.
No ‘shock’: just ‘surprise’.

[Lana Mae]

When I came out to my son, I said I wanted to tell him something. I told him your dad is a crossdresser and no I am not gay and do not plan to become a girl.(no offense to gay people!) He smiled and said whatever makes you happy! He had suspicions as he had seen some women's clothing catalogs I had failed to hide earlier. You know your sister and you have to weigh your decision on that knowledge. Good luck and best wishes. Hugs Lana Mae

[Teresa]

Honeybun,
I assume from you question that you're not married as you are more concerned about your sisters knowing.

I know they are all steps most of us feel we need to take, it's a gradual process of coming out . You need to know the reaction to people before you can take the next step and your sisters appear the easy option for you. If you eventually feel you want to step out the door then you have to start somewhere, if you want to remain in the closet then they probably don't need to know. The other way to deal with this is take some reasonable pictures so you can show them those instead, only you can answer how they will receive the news, you may find they're OK with it and help you with makeup and finding clothes .

[Ressie]

The benefit is that you'll get your secret off your chest, which you've already done with strangers on this site. You will feel a cathartic release which is a good feeling.

The caveat is that there's no guarantee that the sisters won't tell someone else. That could turn into a spreading rumor which you probably don't want to happen.

I told my sister 36 years ago. I'm sure she told my mom. I imagine my brother knows even though I've never told him. My ex-wife has probably told everyone else but since no one brings it up I don't really know. Good luck.

[Krisi]

Does your sister need to know? Does she live with you or do you want to dress around her?

If she doesn't need to know, don't tell. Nothing good can come from it.

[hunnybun]

I really appreciate all of the opinions you have so kindly expressed, I think this will be my New Year resolution.
On a further note, I have been married over 32 years now to my soul mate, she understands my needs but doesn't really join me, her Mother also knows of my hobby and is generally supportive, I may ask what their thoughts are on the matter.

Late edit: I think my need to tell my siblings the truth is to let them know what a great part they played in my life, although it didn't seem it at the time they contributed to who I am today, life is short and family is everything.

Thank you all for your support, we can be a great community.

Hunnybun. xx

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Hunnybun and a belated warm welcome to the forum.

If you feel depressed because your sisters aren't part of your crossdressing life, then yes, it seems logical that you tell them. They may not be at all surprised...but you describe your family as strange...are you prepared that one or both may disapprove? Are you strong enough not to become further depressed if your big reveal goes badly?

Depression is a serious business. Perhaps you should consider a few meetings with a counsellor before pressing Launch?

Thanks for confiding in us, and please do keep sharing your feelings here- it's always helpful to put thoughts and feelings into words, even if we can't supply a magic solution.

Hugs and best wishes, Nikki

[Maria 60]

That's a tough one, i don't know you enough to know where you want to go with the dressing in the long term. A few years back I don't know why but I wanted to come clean with my mother, she did catch me a few times when I was younger, and I would find my pantyhose washed and folded in my drawer and nothing was ever said. So I'm sure it won't be a big surprises.
When I asked my wife if I should, my wife told me that my mother is older and why put this on her at her age and what's the benefit of it, but if I felt better confessing to her then to do it. I took her advice and left it alone and let her enjoy her old age.
I can't tell you what to do, but I hope telling you my experience helped, let us know what you decide and how it went

[Billy]

If you accept yourself for who you are and want to be the person you are then I wouldn't care who knew. From the sounds of it you don't speak that much now and you are not a young child. If they don't accept you for who you are then they are not deserving of your companionship. If I were in your situation I would get dressed and go over and visit.

[Sharon B.]

hunnybun;
I can understand where you are coming from; When I was getting a divorce some twenty plus year ago my soon to be ex-wife called my family up and told them only one of the reasons for our divorce and that was I e would wear woman's clothes. I didn't go around them enough after that as it was true and I only stayed inside the house.
Now I have venture out a few times but still mainly still do it the house, I will go out under-dressed as a woman with some light makeup on, always wear perfume and woman's deodorant.
There has been times when I would like to confide in my older sister that I still do it. When I did confide in her before getting married she thought it was sick and I needed to seek professional help.

[Brandy Mathews]

Hunnybun,
My sister found out a couple years ago that I really love to dress, she called me a freak. Now I think that she has come to the conclusion that I am not going to change. She even recommended the color of sheets that I wanted her to get for me, pink of course. I used to be so afraid of what my family thought about me if they ever found out about me. But the older I get, the more I don't care what they think about me. I guess I just think that I don't judge them for anything they do and they should not judge me either. I hope that you get things resolved, life is way too short to worry about things.
Hugs,
Bree ;)

[Taylor186]

I would say it is never too late to offer up a compliment to a sibling. But, telling them they had a great part in creating a crossdresser would not generally be received as a compliment in my opinion. And, I seriously doubt that calling you princess Ina made you the crossdresser you are today. If there is some other positive reason for them to know that you are a crossdresser please share it here.

[Dana44]

Actually, My sister doesn't talk to me anymore. MY ex wife told her and one day when I was over there she kicked me out and told me to go. Life is crazy sometimes and some people are pretty bigots about stuff, WE are both DES kids and she had some issues that happened to her. I can't even talk to her about that and the researched information about the DES daughters which are documented better than DES Sons.

[Aunt Kelly]

Hi Kelly, no one can tell you what is the right decision for your own individual situation, but look at it from both sides, what would be the benefit to them of knowing ?

Gosh, thanks, but I think I've got it figured out. :)

It's Hunnybun who was asking the question.

[Tracy Irving]

My sister and I are close. But telling her I cross dress? No. It is none of her business. If I did, her reaction would be either neutral or negative. That kind of outcome is not a win for anyone.

[AnnaBMarie]

Without knowing your family, I would certainly advise against starting a dialogue with crossdressing as the primary subject. It seems you would be better served establishing solid lines of communication first. I haven't heard from my brother in a year, and if this was the first thing he brought up I'm not sure I would handle it as well if we had been talking frequently and built up a degree of trust. Whatever you decide I do wish you the best.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi HunnyBun:daydreaming:, Quick, look down at the bottom and see line #4 in my Signature...:daydreaming:...

[Sister Rachel]

I'm no expert but I'd say yes. If your relationship with your sisters is good, that is? The benefit will be that you don't have to worry about whether your sisters know or not :) Big questions ..Do they love you? Do you love them? Do you trust them to keep a secret?

[mona lisa]

Hi,
I'm 55 years young and have been a lover of girly things since I was a tot, I was teased a bit by my sisters when I was young and they often called me princess Ina, anyway, both of my sisters are quite a bit older than me and only one lives local, I love them both a lot but we're a strange family and don't talk as often as we should, our parents passed on long ago.
My dilemma may seem inconsequential but the older I get the more I feel that my sisters should know about my dressing and such, after all they were a part of my development into the cross-dresser I am today.
Should I confide in them? will there be any benefit in doing so? if I decide to do it then how should I go about it.
I think deep down I'd like everyone to see the real me but that's not going to happen.
I'm trusting that the fine people on here with the combined knowledge of such things can help me shake off this really depressing feeling.

Hunnybun.xx

I say no.

[hunnybun]

Thank you all for your words of wisdom, I won't put this on a NY resolution list but I will take into account all the pros and cons you have mentioned and give it a lot more thought, who knows, the opportunity may present itself naturally.

I appreciate you all taking the time to read my initial post, hope everyone has a really good New Year.

Hunnybun. xx

[Diane Smith]

Are you out and about in public much, or is dressing strictly behind closed doors for you? If there is a chance you might bump into your sister in the real world while dressed, it is probably better to let her know ahead of time, rather than having to deal with the revelation at an unplanned time and place.

If you're mostly or completely closeted, then it's really your judgment to make, but I don't see any great advantage in telling.

- Diane

[mona lisa]

If you're mostly or completely closeted, then it's really your judgment to make, but I don't see any great advantage in telling.

Well said Diane!

[Stephanie47]

Risk vs reward. What will you gain if you tell them? Do you have any idea what either one of your sisters thinks about alternative life styles? The only time I would confide in a sister is if I thought my demise was imminent and I would need someone to dispose of my possessions. And, that would be if I was sure there would not be some premature disclosures while I wanted to maintain my privacy.

[Bruce64]

Personally I wont tell my Sisters about my Feminine side but that's just me. My opinion is that you must decide if you can or can't. If you are a Crossdresser I think they know that already.