Tri-ess expeience?

[Teri Ray]

Thinking of attending a Tri-ess meeting. I would like to attend with my wife. (My wife knows I am a crossdresser). My wife says she is willing to attend a meeting to understand what the meetings are about. Have any of you have experience with this group and if so what were your impressions?

Thanks for any information.

[Rogina B]

It is a very vanilla club.

[mykell]

my experience was negative, i even had someone from here vouch for me and it was still difficult..... i have had much more success with p-flag as a comfortable place to go. https://www.pflag.org/

[Melissa in SE Tn]

I highly recommend triess as the chapter in Atlanta is super. Your wife will learn so much about cding that you will bond ever more so. Good luck & have fun together.

[Cheryl T]

I have been a member of a Tri-Ess chapter for nearly 10 years and would recommend it to someone who is looking for a safe, supportive group where your wife will feel welcome and not out of place. Our group had a number of wives that would attend regularly (mine was one) and my wife never felt out of place.
Now I can't speak for all the chapters as to participation of wives as that's clearly an individual choice and widely varies.

As to the "vouching" for someone. Well there is by design a security process to reduce the chance that someone asking to join is simply trying to "out" a group or just looking for some odd thrill. I had to have a phone interview during which I was asked a number of questions (none deeply personal) that would help identify me as CD and not as some "poser". We all need a bit of reassurance that our identities will be kept confidential and that we will have a safe place to meet others and this is the reason for the vouching or interview.

We all have varying experiences, but I would say give it a try. You have little to lose and so much to gain.

[AllieSF]

As others have said, give it a try. Tri-Ess used to be a fairly large organization with many groups scattered around the country. As I understand, it is a much smaller organization now with significantly fewer regional chapters/groups available. Some groups have stricter entry requirements than others. You will only know if it can work for you after trying it out for a test drive. Support groups can be a great way to meet others, have some fun, and learn to be yourself.

[Betty IA]

...but only if you are heterosexual...

I contacted the "local" Tri-Ess chapter here and wasn't given the time of day because I listed my sexual orientation honestly (not 100% straight). A group that wants acceptance of their lifestyle but discriminates vs. others? No, thank you. That is a national restriction, according to the by-laws I have read.

[PretzelGirl]

I would try it out. I have found that each chapter gets run differently based on the individuals involved. Some get very political, some don't. Some really press rules like the aforementioned "must be a heterosexual crossdress", some don't. I know here is Utah we have an amazing group and it has been a top chapter. In that, it has never been political and has been very accepting of all.

I am surprised as I didn't know there was a chapter in Idaho. We have a founding member from Idaho who comes down every month for the meeting.

PFLAG is a great organization also, but in my local experience, they are two different things. So you can try both out and see what fits more. You might also find Tri-Ess fits you and PFLAG your wife.

[Teri Ray]

There is not a chapter in Idaho I was invited to the group in SLC

[carhill2mn]

Like any group, the members will help to make it a good experience (or not). It was designed to be a support group for CDs and, they hoped, spouses. I think the popularity of the internet has cut into its appeal. Tri-Ess was my first experience of being with other CDs. After a while it was not what I needed/wanted. Good luck!

[PretzelGirl]

Teri, if you are coming to the January meeting, I will make sure to not miss it. I would love to meet you. It is a great group. We are light on spouses, but have them come and go. I believe there is one or two attending occasionally. They tend to come and get all their curiosities answered and then come less frequently.

[Teri Ray]

We are thinking of attending the February meeting. Our host Dawn cannot make it in January. My wife and I will attend together. Dawn said she though her wife would also attend. I would love to meet you in February if you can attend.

[Rogina B]

...but only if you are heterosexual...

I contacted the "local" Tri-Ess chapter here and wasn't given the time of day because I listed my sexual orientation honestly (not 100% straight). A group that wants acceptance of their lifestyle but discriminates vs. others? No, thank you. That is a national restriction, according to the by-laws I have read.

Exactly this from the Chicagoland group...And we were out to dinner when "they" posed "their question".. I knew then that I wasn't interested in what they were offering.

[Cheryl T]

...but only if you are heterosexual...

I contacted the "local" Tri-Ess chapter here and wasn't given the time of day because I listed my sexual orientation honestly (not 100% straight). A group that wants acceptance of their lifestyle but discriminates vs. others? No, thank you. That is a national restriction, according to the by-laws I have read.


If you read what they are about it's for "heterosexual crossdressers and their SO".
They weren't discriminating anymore than a motorcycle club would if you said you only had a bicycle.

[Anne K]

I looked into it on line and the website looked ancient and out of date. I wondered if it was defunct. I clicked on the SW FLorida link and received an error message. Is there an alternative website?

[Phoebe Reece]

The current website for Tri-Ess is: http://www.tri-ess.org/ Regardless of what the national organization may say about membership requirements, it is the individual chapters that really decide for themselves what membership requirements will be followed for their own chapter. Each chapter is very different in many respects. The only way to know what the one you might be interested in offers is to attend a meeting. A lot of chapters have come and gone over the years. The chapters that have been around the longest have learned how to adapt to changing times. The Atlanta chapter has been operating continuously since the 1980's. I've been a member of the Atlanta chapter since 2002. We have a great organization that currently has 50+ members. Anyone looking for more info can send me a PM.

[nikinylons]

I've heard of this over the years. Always wanted to attend.

[Rogina B]

If you read what they are about it's for "heterosexual crossdressers and their SO".
They weren't discriminating anymore than a motorcycle club would if you said you only had a bicycle.

I never read up on them..It was just a few people that I knew from CGS gatherings that had invited me to have dinner. And after I answered their question,there was no invite to their next meeting. So I learned enough to walk on by the TriEss table at First Event in the past years. I will be as I want.

[PretzelGirl]

Teri, that sounds great! I haven't seen Dawn's wife in a few years, so I would love if that happens too.

For all. Just to echo Phoebe again. The national by laws are not that stringent and the individual groups do have some latitude. Those that want to be very exclusionary, don't last. The days of heterosexual crossdressers completely in the closet aren't gone, but the need for social groups supporting a finite group is diminished compared to the past. So if you make more rules, you have less membership. The thriving groups get that.

[Eryn]

Triess has become very fragmented over both admission of LGB members and retention of transitioned members. Some chapters are fine with both, others are not. Their flagship LA chapter has collapsed into a Yahoo group.

To understand this, we have to understand that this organization was formed when being LGB was considered illegal. As such, they wanted nothing to do with the LGB community. Times have changed, but the Triess organization has remained in the hands of the "old guard" individuals who aren't interested in change. Some chapters, like Chicago, decided unilaterally to admit gay members and have been had their charters revoked. Despite this, they have thrived!

[AKADonna]

I can only speak to the great experience that I had with the Atlanta chapter. Attending their weekend meeting was my very first time in public dressed en femme. Their hospitality put me at ease very quickly and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience! The leadership of the group is very active and has contacted me on several occasions to check my interest (I live > 3hrs away and can rarely get away on a weekend due to other commitments.). They are a wonderful group and it was really fun!

[IdahoPanty]

Please let me know what you find out about the local chapter. I've been interested for a while.

[Lorileah]

If you read what they are about it's for "heterosexual crossdressers and their SO".
They weren't discriminating anymore than a motorcycle club would if you said you only had a bicycle.

Pretty much the definition
Definition of discrimination (Merriam-webster) a : the act, practice, or an instance of discriminating categorically rather than individually b : prejudiced or prejudicial outlook, action, or treatment It is a "private" club and under such allowed to choose who it allows to be members, but it is discrimination

[Cheryl T]

If that is discrimination then so are programs for "special needs" children, Knights of Columbus, VFW and others that provide services to specific portions of the population.

[reinasblack]

Discrimination (preference) for special needs people
Is a acceptable practice to allow them to get services that are usually denied to them and are unavailable.

There is no more southern comfort conference.

There is Meetup.com with many clubs within