Is it a gift or a curse?

[Becky Blue]

This is a very diverse community from very part time part dressers right through to Post op trans people. My question is aimed at everyone no matter what 'level' you are so to speak.

Whether you are a CD/TS/TV/TG/GQ/other do you see is as a gift or a curse? would you rather be a 'normal guy' or are you happy you have a feminine side no matter what that side is? Has 'she' enhanced your life or ruined it?

For me Becky is a gift, I have no regrets - I believe I am lucky to have a female side and to have experienced the things I have because I have her.

[Julie MA]

In my heart, a gift. In the world we live in, less so, but not a curse.

[Tracy Irving]

I have no interest in being cursed so I will take the gift and enjoy every minute.

[Samantha Sometimes]

So so hard to say. Obviously it causes lots of struggles and secrets, but I enjoy it so much I can't think of it as anything but a gift!

[StephanieM]

It can be both. But everything for the most part can be a blessing or a curse. As long as it's balanced I think it is more of a blessing it's when it's extreme that it becomes a curse. It's like rain if you get too much or too little it causes damage, but in just the right amounts everything will thrive.

[DIANEF]

Dressing has become such an important part of my life I can't imagine how it would be without it. I'm not really sure if it's a gift or a curse, but I like the fact I can express my feminine self when I need to, circumstances permitting.

[MelanieAnne]

It's a gift. I'm straight. So I can enjoy dressing, and also enjoy normal guy stuff. The best of both worlds.

[Becky Blue]

Melanie, I too am straight as you call it. But I do not enjoy 'normal guy stuff' as you call it.

[TrishaLake]

I am bi and a CD, and I don't think I would be who I am without dressing and the things I discovered. I love me for the first time in my life...so I would say it is a blessing, the more I accept it, the better I feel!

[Allisa]

Oh a gift and a blessing, I am now who I should be, and still growing after all these years, there are too many positives to list.

[JeanTG]

Curse. Life is complicated enough as it is. My female side "feels" good, but the cost of expressing her often seems too high.

[Ellie Summer]

I joke that it's my own beautiful, beautiful curse. We all know the struggles it brings, but I've always marched to the beat of my own drum and accepted how "different" I can be at times. Like others have said, it's brought so much joy, perspective, and self confidence, I feel like I'd be missing out if it wasn't part of my life.

[Stephanie Julianna]

For me it's a gift but my wife might think it's a curse. I cannot get her to tap into my femme side and take advantage of it. All that being said. I love the way I am.

[Jenniferathome]

It just "is." Like my brown eyes. I was a complicated until I told my wife, now it just "is."

[MissTee]

Great question, Becky! When I am in a place/position to dress as the need dictates it is a blessing. Great stress relief and an amazing outlet for creativity. When I am not in a position to dress as the need dictates it can be quite uncomfortable -- and thus a curse.

[Periwinkle]

A blessing! Feeling comfortable in any clothing really opens up my options.

[SarahBJackson]

When Sarah emerged, it was a gift because it opened my mind and showed me femininity. I keep thinking about her so much.

[ronniegirl]

MissTee you expressed my sentiments exactly..we all deal with stress everyday of our lives..and so CD'ing IMO is a hella of lot better than drugs or alcohol. No contest.:thumbsup:

[Dana44]

It is defiantly a gift. With both sides of my brain working I have a lot of creativity. It is blessing also as I can live both ways.

[Georgette_USA]

Gift / Curse

It is what it is. Don't believe in a lot of navel gazing on what could have been.

I have NO idea what I would have been as a "Normal" male. Still have NO idea what "Normal Guy" stuff is.
As a male my early life would have been a more settled time. Probably a wife and maybe kids. Still would have the military/electronics/computers for my profession.

Than again have NO idea if I was a "Normal" female. As a female my life would have been very different.

[marshalynn]

I don't think I can answer this question. I was born this way, would life have been easier with out our gift, some times, now that I am older I can live my life pretty much the way I want and be happy. I still have grand kids that I am around every day so I have to be normal around their friends. as normal as mid back length natural hair and long nails can be. So gift or curse, both at times, now I am the woman I always felt like my whole life, which is most of the time. Happy New Year Marshalynn

[nikkiwindsor]

Bec, It's a gift for sure...I'm so much a better person b/c of my feminine side and in so many ways...Nik

[Eve_cd]

I say gift, at least in theory. It often feels like a curse if you haven't figured out how to make it work with an SO. Whether that means you're alone, or struggling to find the right balance. With an open, accepting relationship and/or community, the theory can become practice much more clearly.

[Rhonda Darling]

A gift, to be sure. I can't imagine myself without this aspect of me.

Rhonda

[docrobbysherry]

It is just like everything else in life: What u make of it!:brolleyes:

I like doing new things that challenge me and have fun. And, that's exactly what I'm trying to do with the time I've got left!

[Joni T]

To me it's more of a curse than a gift. If someone invented a pill that would make all of the cd'ing thoughts and actions disappear forever, I'd kill to be the first in line to get it.
Jon

[Dorit]

My wife thinks it's a gift, but I at times have my doubts.

[mbmeen12]

For me it's a gift but my wife might think it's a curse. I cannot get her to tap into my femme side and take advantage of it. All that being said. I love the way I am

Steph it takes two to tango....If us gurls have to hide, it's added stress. But if your free to roam, then it's a blessing.

[lynn.crossdresser]

For me it is a curse but only when I can’t express my softer feminine side, due to visitors or for whatever other reason. I am lucky that with my understanding, supporting and encouraging wife I am free to express myself as often as I wish, my restrictions are my own and societies tolerance, especially living in a small town. I know it is my life, but my life and how I lead it affects my family’s lives.

I often wonder how open I would be if it was only myself to worry about, but I suppose we all do in a way.

That said I would choose the pink pill over the blue pill every time. It is such a big part of me, and more often than not I like me, both of me.

[marlacd]

Good question. Too bad I don't have a good answer. Guess it depends on what stage of life you wish to be in. Or, if outside influences make one think twice about how you live your life. Sometimes I think we pick which side of the fence to be on, only to climb back up on it for reasons presented to us.

[sara66]

I consider my self a normal guy. I just dress better. I think it is both a gift and curse. We get to experience both sides of life (with out some of difficult parts of being a woman). But we also experience rejection and lack of understanding from the population as a whole.
Sara

[Lana Mae]

A blessing! Lana Mae is my feminine side and is still me. Being able to see and be both sides of me is truly a blessing most men will never experience. I am not able to be Lana Mae 24/7 due to other parts of my life and I am alright with that. Hugs Lana Mae

[Krisi]

I wouldn't say it's either. Anyone can buy a pair of boobs and a dress and be a crossdresser, that's not a gift. I suppose it might be a gift if you have the body and size to pull it off and it's a gift if your wife puts up with it, but otherwise, not a gift.

A curse? Nope, you don't have to buy a pair of boobs and a dress so it's not a curse. A curse might be if your body resembles Hulk Hogan and you look like Hulk Hogan in drag when you dress. Otherwise, crossdressing is not a curse.

Crossdressing is just something you like to do.

[Lily Catherine]

I don't know. I don't really care anymore. This side of me, whatever it is, has been a hindrance to me dating, although I wouldn't date right now at the questioning stage anyway, and much less while I'm in college. I'll be carrying it around with me for a damned long time, like it or not.

Like Georgette, I will never exactly acquire a "normal" experience. Ultimately, coming of age and maturing and milestones are all about conformity and fitting in, and there were and are many places I didn't fit.

I'm not sure, however, that any Tom / Rick / Harry would buy a pair of boobs and a dress and claim themselves to be a crossdresser (or anything beyond being a crossdresser for that matter).

[CarlaWestin]

I've already arrived at the conclusion many years ago that this is definitely a gift. I get to not only live a male life with all that comes with it but, I also get to enjoy a fabulous feminine existence and enjoy everything that comes with that. It's life to the power of two. Not too many people get a life that enriched and fulfilling.

[GretchenM]

Another fine and probing question, Bec. For me it used to be a curse, but it was that way because I made it that way. After 60 years of wrestling with my "other identity" I accepted her and the curse became a blessing and a gift. I now enjoy both my rather mild masculine identity as well as my growing and sometimes slightly tomboyish feminine identity. I have always been appreciative of women who are able to do things more typical of men and yet still be fully female and feminine. I believe I will always have both and together they will form the whole me. Now they complement each other and expand my range of both role and experience.

Gretchen

[Abbey11]

Having come to the fully femme me quite late, I can say for me it's a gift

[CynthiaD]

Yes, it's a gift. I wouldn't change for the world.

[Lucy23]

It would be a gift if I could go out dressed and enjoy the diversity of clothing options without any problems. If anything, this is what crossdressing brings to my life, albeit in closet. To enjoy so many clothes and fabrics is really nice.

In the past, my first thought would be that it was a really bad curse though. Now that I've become comfortable with it, I must echo Jennifer's "it just is". I know that we don't choose the traits we are born with, but hypothetically speaking, I don't know if I would choose crossdressing given the chance. Most probably not.

It doesn't bring forth in me any supposed feminine traits such as softness, gentleness, penchant for fashion, or empathy, etc. either, as other members point out; at least I don't think of them that way, any man can have them, or express them in his unique way in my opinion. Certainly I do. Nor it has brought any insight into feminine world. That would take transferring my consciousness into a mind of a woman and spend some time there as an observer (I'm a sci-fi nut).

[Shiny]

CURSE-curse, curse! Without a doubt. I am what I am and it is what it is but I never chose nor would I ever choose to have what I have always felt was my "affliction." I wrote a long post on the "blue pill or the red pill" years ago and stand by it. If I could take the blue pill and not have this "affliction" and then forget about ever having it it would be a relief. I have my own personality like everyone else but I can't help but think that because of this "hobby" my life is more solitary and has always been with others always kept at a distance for fear of discovery that for any man, such a "strange compulsion" would cost friends, jobs and lead to one being ostracized totally. Then there's the financial cost of a lifetime of having a secret wardrobe and the constant fear of discovery that follows that along in lock-step.

I am sure my life would have been markedly different without my "hobby" but as I am older now and retired and not beholden to any friend or boss or social circle at my age, although I hope my little problem remains unknown what I do is not illegal but merely a quirk in character. So, in essence, at this stage of the game it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. My only last hope is that someday when it's time to relocate to a old-folks-home or while I still have the mental faculties and before I pass on is to anonymously donate my wardrobe to a thrift shop without anyone being the wiser. To be remembered as not being a crazy or a kook being preferable to the alternative.

[Mickitv]

I would have to go along with some of the other responses. This is who I am and I feel I was born this way. Over time I have learned to accept it and not fight it. I embrace my femininity and try to make every day a beautiful and wonderful day.

[Helen_Highwater]

Definitely a gift.

As I've progressed along my dressing journey there have been some very stressful even frightening experiences. All part of the learning curve. That said I've experienced so much more that had I not CD'd I'd have missed out on. It has given me wonderful experiences and I believe made me a better person. At the end of my days I will look back with great fondness for every minute I spend expressing my femme side. It will be a life more lived, and hey, there's a lot more yet to come....... I hope!

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

i must say a curse as the enjoyment and fulfillment i get is far outweighed by the way i told my wife after then 27 years of marriage.
she has became tolerant and at times supportive but she is not the same person she was, as one girl said if there was a pill to
take i would be the first in line for it

[rockerreds]

A gift- when I am dressed I feel at home in the world.

[Heather J]

Depends on the day.

[Lorileah]

So those that say "curse" would be under the umbrella of "dysphoria" right? Those who are unhappy with with it may benefit from counseling instead of holding it back (IMO). Using this forum may be a help, physical meetings may help, discussion with the SO may help. But suppressing it seems like it would make your life harder.

Those that find it a "gift" have worked through it and have found a positive side

[Gabby6790]

Although there are a large number of negatives, I have to say gift for two specific reason:

One, coming to terms with myself has allowed me to raise my child better. Coming from a not so accepting upbringing I could have easily continued the trend. I now raise my child to be tolerant and also to express themselves.

Second, finding something that makes you happy in life can be rare for some people. So, to me anything that makes my day brighter (and isn't harmful to myself or others is a gift). I sometimes feel bad for "norms" who could care less about the fabric, color, fashion, or cut of their clothes.

[PamelaRI]

My SO would say that it is a curse because it's not normal, it's embarrassing, it's unmanly (yuk - I hate manly)..... I don't know if I'd call my fluidity a gift, but that in and of itself is definitely not a curse - it is just who I am. The curse is on those who think that I and my life define their worth and their state of being and for them to feel good about themselves, I need to be shamed, embarrassed, belittled, ostracized and made to hide who I am. I still believe that if they found a treatment that would make my feelings line up with society's expectation of the gender on my birth certificate, that I'd pass without a second thought.

[Kandi Robbins]

Gift, for sure. I have made friends, seen and done things I would not have otherwise.

Knowing that life is so complicated, would things be easier if I were a "normal" guy? Probably so, but I don't have any wishes I can make come true. If I did, it would be to be a size 4.

[Pat]

Gift. And a perfect one for me -- I've always enjoyed complex puzzles with non-obvious solutions. ;)

[daphne g]

im not sure if id see this more as an addiction ,altho i love it I'm sitting here like this I'm afraid to go out, not so much because of me but more to protect my so
but i can't stop being me

[sometimes_miss]

A curse. Life is hard enough; why would anyone wish to make it harder? It made my life a mess. Divorce, lost family, lost friends. Continued broken relationships. The cost of two wardrobes. It must be great to be delusional and think this is somehow a good idea. I understand the whole, 'love thyself' concept, but at some point, we have to realize what this had done to millions of us; left us with a slim to no chance of finding a female mate. For those of you who have, remember that it's akin to winning the lottery. The chances are that low. And treat your accepting, loving SO like the queen she is. Because there are a few million crossdressers who are chompinig at the bit to take your place if and when you screw it up.

[GretchenM]

I tend to agree with Lorileah in many ways. I am not sure that everyone who feels it is more curse than blessing are necessarily experiencing dysphoria, but perhaps it is a lack of self acceptance. I strongly recommend seeking help if you are in that boat. When I spilled the beans in 2012 and came out of my hiding place to my wife and a few others I went to the local gender identity center here in Denver and sought some professional help. It was low cost and very helpful and although therapy was rough at times, it helped immensely. But my wife went to a different therapist there who helped her deal with this new revelation about her husband of 44 years. It saved our marriage. Was she a bit different after going? Yes, but so was I. We found a compromise solution. Of course, we had a pretty solid marital foundation going into this crisis, but without the therapy I doubt we would be together and still happily married today. You can muddle through it and maybe patch things over yourself, but as some have pointed out the prospects of success are not good. And the older you are the worse the chances are that you will succeed with a do it yourself solution. Let a pro help you. You may have to make some adjustments, but the therapist, if they are any good, will help you with those as well. One of my daughters is a therapist - that is what they do.

Gretchen

[phili]

Lori,
We don't need to go all the way to 'dysphoria' whenever our feelings are out of sync with our opportunities, and life is getting so difficult to the point of feeling this is a curse of sorts.

My new theory goes like this- life progresses for most boys [and girls experience the same thing] from infancy this way:
1. Presentation [- blue sleeper],
2. Performance [boys don't cry],
3. Power and privilege [boys get their way, but can't wear those silky things],
4. Pairing [Find a girl who is [now] your complementary opposite; join the army and double down ],
5. Presumption/Pretending [You don't want to be soft, of course; I wish I didn't have to wear drab],
6. Poison or Peace [Corrosive effect of Presumption and Pretending- leading to often catastrophic escape attempts; or deep acceptance and understanding of oneself, feeling more whole and expanding wherever we can, with measured integration with those around us]

So far I can place all the common things we feel as the result of where we are on this progression, and it is clear why clothing/wigs etc[Presentation] are first on most of our lists- as they are the thing we were trained so deeply to regard as the gateway to a whole set of powers and privileges.

[Debra Russell]

A gift --- that not everyone appreciates :sad: ..............................Debra

[Amanda Park]

I think I may be like many others who have felt both sides of the question you are asking. In my earlier years I felt ashamed of my attraction to women's clothes and wished I didn't have to struggle so hard to keep the truth from coming out.

Now that I am older and have access to a wealth of new information on cross dressing and the growing body of information that tells us that gender identity is already set at birth by factors including DNA, chromosomes, male and female hormone levels and others.

I now understand that living life this way can be both a hardship and a gift. I am very happy to have the time to be Amanda and I am slowly working my way to a place where I accept the entire me.

[Nikki.]

I completely accept myself. I have gender identity issues and crossdress as a expression of those issues. I went through all 5 states of the Kubler Ross model along the way. And I see it as a curse. It's a PITA. I would be happier being cis gendered. My relationship with my wife would be unencumbered by it. I wouldn't have been partially in hiding since I got caught many years ago, and had to/have to deal with the anxiety and depression that accompanies it. I'm a pretty positive person, fairly happy go lucky, but a really don't see an upside to it. It just is, and I would take the cis pill if I could, either team :)

[Becky Blue]

Well its been fascinating reading all the responses thanks girls..

So far we have 27 votes for gift which is over 50% of those who voted, 11 who said its both, 9 who said it is neither and only 6 who said it is a curse.

I am not certain i agree with Lorileah and Gretchen entirely, I have always seen Becky as a gift that has enabled me to experience things & meet people that I could never have done. It could be as much to do with being a positive personality as acceptance..

[Tracii G]

Its a gift as far as I'm concerned.
It has been a blessing by getting rid of the nasty male person I used to be.

[Becky Blue]

I wouldn't say it's either. Anyone can buy a pair of boobs and a dress and be a crossdresser, that's not a gift. I suppose it might be a gift if you have the body and size to pull it off and it's a gift if your wife puts up with it, but otherwise, not a gift.

A curse? Nope, you don't have to buy a pair of boobs and a dress so it's not a curse. A curse might be if your body resembles Hulk Hogan and you look like Hulk Hogan in drag when you dress. Otherwise, crossdressing is not a curse.

Crossdressing is just something you like to do.

Kristi, I am very intrigued by your post, I would have to disagree with your views too, you seem to be ignoring the fact that a % of the population have desires/needs/urges to crossdress or more. Anyone can in theory buy boobs and a dress, but most guys would never want to do that. The gift or curse is the feelings we get that compel us to buy that dress and put it on.

[Tania75]

For me, a part time indoor crossdresser and straight guy, it is a gift.
With the help of websites such as this one, is has given me so much more of an understanding and respect for people who crossdress, whether it be for fun, relaxation, just being themselves, or part of a journey to a life of being the person who they really are.

[ShelbyDawn]

Very interesting question. I believe it is up to each and every one of us to choose the answer to this question for ourselves. If we choose it to be a gift, it will be a gift. If we choose curse, it will become that. As several others have indicated, the key is realizing it is part of whom you are and the real task is to get comfortable with that and find out how it fits into your life comfortably.

I have chosen it to be a gift.

[Georgette_USA]

Having read all these answers and thoughts. I think the idea of a gift or curse may be different on where one is on the TG spectrum, CD / NB / TS.

As a TS of 66 years, it may have been a curse, but the experiences I have had all these years has been interesting. Hopefully I will still have many good experiences to come.

As I said I have NO idea what my life would have been without it. As I look to my 3 brothers and 1 sisters lives and they have had various experiences also.

Looking at other TS I have known and see now, I am very grateful and lucky, if there is such a thing. I have not had the heart wrenching times that I see from others, my partner included.

[Becky Blue]

3 more votes for gift... I agree in part with you Georgette, I think a person who at a very young age feels they have been born on the wrong body may feel it is a curse until they have sorted their gender issues out.

[Julie Mehn]

For me i think its a little bit of both because getting all dress up is one of the most fun and exciting thing in my life but then on the other worrying about keeping my secret and how people around me would view me if they found out does put a toll on me and sometime i do wish i was normal but other days i happy as who i am but that just me everyone is going to have there own opinions

[suzanne]

Absolutely a gift. The end.

[Judith96a]

If I lived in a society (and/or had a family) that did not view crossdressing as 'unusual' at best or 'dangerously perverted' at worst, then it would be an unmitigated blessing. I love "getting my girl on" (to borrow Jennifer's phrase) - whether casual or glammed up the whole nine yards. However, the fact that that's not the society that I live in, or the family I've got, creates hassle. And that makes it a double edged sword!
C'est la vie!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Becky Blue:hugs:, I feel blessed to have the best of both worlds...:daydreaming:...

[ElleStreet]

I'm not entirely sure. Being a cd is hard and mentally draining sometimes. But it's really made me happy over the past couple months.

So if I could live life without the urge to crossdress, would I take it? No chance.
Would I get rid of the urge to crossdress if I still get the fulfilled feeling? Maybe. I'll still feel like I'm losing a part of who I am but it would be so much easier

[krissy]

i dont know what normal is i have been this way since i was 6 cant say i want it any other way .i do feel like i didnt reach my potential i got into working on cars all male dominate field still under dressed .but i dint like talking like one of the guys i liked hanging with the girls

[Jessie James]

Curse, although without 'this' whatever this may end up being, is what makes me who I am and without it the self as I know it would cease to be. I don't know if I will ever feel that it is a gift, but maybe in time I will see it as less of a curse.

Jessie~☆

[Becky Blue]

We are up to 32 Gifts, 13 Both, 10 Neither and 7 Curse. So we are still running at just over 50% gift.

[Rosemary+]

Up to my 40 it was a definite curse
But I've come to love and embrace this part of my being and I truely love it now

[Stacey-J]

For me it's a gift. If I had of acknowledged my feelings when I was younger I probably would have considered it a curse, but these days it gives peace and a sense of inner balance. I feel like a completed person for the first time in my life

[FrankieB]

To call it a curse is just plain wrong IMO. Is there anything about that is really that bad to define it so?
It is just how society perceives it and constraints placed upon society, some of which are unnecessary and self imposed.
Maybe it will eventually become more accepted once more people admit they are inclined this way to varying degrees.

[Jaymees22]

I believe it's a gift, just changing my clothes makes me feel so much better.

[jennifer0918]

A gift "only real men wear skirts."
I'll be CD forever. ..

[Becky Blue]

4 more gifts and one curse turning into a gift so i guess thats a vote for both

[Fiona123]

Being closeted is a curse. Being transgender has to be a gift though. I think the female in me allows me to be more empathetic to women and lgbtq folks. I am not perfect however.

[Stephanie47]

Being a cross dresser is not a curse, but, my life would have been a lot less complicated if I was not a cross dresser. My relationship with my wife would not have been messed up at times with the societal baggage that goes along with this form of expression. I totally do not ascribe to this notion that there are attributes solely female or male. There are some pretty lousy women out there who rate a solid zero when it comes to whatever those attributes may be. The same can be said of the male population.

The only beneficial aspect of being a cross dresser is the stress relief wearing women's clothing has brought me. Maybe it is escapism. I know a lot of men and some women who have drowned themselves in escaping the world with drugs and alcohol. I suspect addiction to drugs and alcohol is not in my genetic profile. If my PDST counselor is correct that every man and woman has some DNA of the other sex in their genetic profile, then maybe in times of stress I escape to emulating the woman I know I am not.

There have been many threads about wearing whatever whenever. But, if there was not such an ascribe mode of dressing would it make an difference if on Monday you wore a dress, heels, makeup and hosiery, and, on Tuesday, dress shirt, tie, slacks and a sport jacket. What would you really say then as whether one set of clothing is a curse or a gift. How would you act then?

I don't think wearing women's clothing changes anything in your underlying behavior.

[TrulyMe]

A curse. It used to be fun but no longer.

[penny lace]

I think the desire or need to CD is a gift as we are free the experience our femininity in a way others cannot, the only curse is how society view men who do this.

[gownman]

I would say it is neither, it is just who we are. The only curse is the way it is viewed by others.
A little thought experiment though:
If it were totally accepted, would it still be fun? Those of you who have been following my posts (I'm new here) know that I do not fully dress: I wear only nightgowns and slips (and sometime panties, silky PJs and petti-pants). For me a strong component of the experience is what I call the naughtiness factor. Men don't wear silky, lacy nighties, so doing it in spite of that gives me a bit of a charge. I go out in the morning to get my newspaper while wearing a nightgown, a silky robe and pink slippers. It's mildly exciting. What if somebody sees me? Well, maybe the cute neighbor across the street would think it was sort of sexy.

[CostaRicaRachel]

I've seen questions similar to this before.

For example, if you could just take a pill and become a normal heterosexual man, would you take it.

At first, the immediate response migjht be, yes, I would take it.

But after I think it over for awhile, maybe I would not take it. I know how I feel,
I know how I feel when I see a woman,
I feel empathetic when I see someone struggliung
I don't want to hurt anyone.

But I don't know how a normal heterosexual man feels.

The curse or gift, I don't know which has shaped my entire life. I would probably be a completely
different person without it.

So I guess, regardless of whether it is a curse of gift, I probably would not change it.

Even though, when I was in college in 1975, I thought I was a transvestite, so I went to a therapist,
and, I guess he kind of tried to cure it. We explored my childhood to see what caused this problem.
After a few sessions, I think he either read or figured out. this does not work, and he could not
cure me.

He then sent me to another therapist, and she tried to convince it's not that bad, I have a lot of things
going for me, I just have to accept it. This did not work either.

So, I've been struggling with it ever since.

[Bobbi46]

Its not a curse for me at all, a curse is something put on oneself that one does not want or like but can do nothing about it. A gift? for sure because this inner need to be feminine and to dress and feel feminine, this ability was given to us before we came into this world, I believe that we are born with varying degrees of femininity and womanliness within ourselves. I would not swap this life for anything. definitely not a curse but a golden gift.

[RachelX]

I've always, from my earliest memories (four years old), held it to be a wonderful gift. Couldn't wait to grow up and live as a female.
The curse (or punishment for unspeakable crimes in a past life) was transmogrifying into a six-foot-four-inch "man" creature thing. Just like in Pinocchio when the boys turned into donkeys.

[Kiersten]

There was a time I viewed it as a curse, but now I definitely view it as a gift. I can't imagine my life without it.

[DMichele]

Becky,

My female side - Michele is definitely a gift. In hindsight I did not recognize it as a gift until recently. Now that I do appreciate the gift, I will explore ways to integrate my feminine side 24/7, albeit if only in subtle ways (e.g. in work place).

[Karine]

I don't know if it's a curse or a gift.
As said earlier in this thread, life is already complicated and crossdressing add some difficulties to it (find a way and the gut to come out to girlfriend, feeling the urge when you can't dress)
At the same time, life is complicated, so anything you could do to enjoy life, you should embrace it.
For me, it's just that we shouldn't blame ourselves for being who we are but accept it.

[Scarlett398]

Excellent Thread Topic and some really interesting responses.

To me it's always been a gift. I think I came close in the womb to being a girl. I was the middle child with two sisters on either side of me. I was blessed with kind of a girly figure and a pretty face (at least that's what I was told for many years). Unlike some other notes listed, some were not so lucky. As a result, when I dress and as I mentioned before, the only way you can tell I am not a pretty girl is if I were to start a conversation and you heard my voice. I have no plans on trying to fake a female voice. I rarely get the chance to be out in public and I have never spoke to anyone out in public while dressed as Scarlett. That might change the next time out which is coming up in February. I am planning a trip to the mall and I'll be going through some makeup stores or somewhere where I feel I might be able to open up without being judged negatively. Where those opportunities may be I am open for suggestions from you girl pros out there who may have years of experience of going out in public all prettied up.
Getting back to being born with the right body to really enjoy this cross dressing desire, I have also been blessed with very little body hair which seems to help a bunch as well. My legs are very easy to shave and they happen to have a very girly shape..Another gift!
I find, as noted in a few of my posts, that it is a real gift to have fun with cross dressing. I love everything about the process - shopping, picking out the outfits, buying the clothes, sexy panties, jewelry, makeup, and the photo sessions I put together myself. That's another gift I have been blessed with that compliments the cross dressing fun and that is the photography fun that goes along with it. Finally being able to use the "Paint" program to resize and post the photos. That took me 3 or 4 months with a lot of help from Leigh, Jeri, Stephanie, and the rest of the girls. Thanks a bunch! I hope I can continue to be totally girl when all dolled up for years to come. It's a blast. Fun, sexy, sexual, challenging, relaxing, and I'm constantly learning and looking for ways to improve. It's a gift - a real present I have been blessed with and I hope for years to come......Scarlett

[Becky Blue]

So we are up to 42 gifts, 15 both, 13 neither and 9 curse. So that makes it 53% gift and 11% curse. The interesting thing is that it has been running at just over 50% gift since the thread started.

There have been some fascinating and very thought provoking responses. As I said in the Op Becky is has and always will be very much a gift.