So very happy I no longer have to be in the closet!

[Scarlett398]

I am so very happy I no longer have to live in the closet with my cross dressing. On Thursday of last week, my wife, unannounced, came home two hours early from work. I knew as soon as I heard the garage door open the only option I had was to simply meet her at the door coming in from the garage and admit that I was a cross dresser. Her immediate reaction was not pleasant at all. I was given the silent treatment for one full day and then I could tell she was going to accept the fact that this was something that was simply a part of me.
A year or so ago, she had seen photos I had placed on our computer that I had thought I had erased. She seemed to be totally put off on even the thought of me dressing up in female clothing. She did say that there was no way, if she didn't know it was me in the photos, that she could tell it was a guy dressed up as a girl. She also said I had really great taste in the clothing, makeup, and accessories and that the wig I had chosen was very natural and was in great taste as well (it's a chin length bob that's just a shade darker with dark roots than my natural hair). But she was not happy about me cross dressing and would not approve of me continuing to do so. We didn't discuss the matter until this past week when I was caught for the second time.
After Thursday and then Friday went by this last week, I could finally tell that my wife, who loves me so much for who I have been over all of the years we've been together, would finally be fine with my cross dressing as long as I kept it private and didn't dress while she's at home with me. Now I'm hoping one day she may approve of me dressing at home with her occasionally present.
I'm just finally so relieved she's OK with my cross dressing in private and I no longer have to hide my wardrobe any more! I actually never thought she would ever be OK with the idea of cross dressing. This is a huge hurdle to overcome and I am so very happy she's understanding.
Now we haven't had our long winded discussion as to why I have a need to cross dress and I'm sure we'll have the discussion one day soon and I'll be the one who will initiate the discussion and make and attempt to give my most sincere and honest answers as to why I have this need to dress up like a pretty girl and take photos of myself while having my Nikon camera on a tripod using it on the self timer mode.
If you guys/girls had known me personally for the past 40 years, there's no way you would have any idea I would be the sort of guy who would enjoy dressing up like a girl. I have always played and coached sports for many many years and still enjoy sports and doing all the things that most guys do for fun. I have never done any drugs in my life and I may drink 6 to 12 beers a year with maybe the same amount of glasses of wine a year. I attend church almost every Sunday

I'll just wrap my post up with noting what a huge relief it is no longer having to keep this cross dressing a secret from my wife! I never thought she would be accepting of this desire of mine due to her conservative thinking when it relates to the subject of cross dressing. I will respect her desire of me keeping it private at home and to not cross dress in her presence for now.
That's it for now and I'm so happy I don't have to worry about being "caught" anymore. Those of you who have been in this situation with you're wife before can totally understand what a relief it is to finally realize you have a loving wife who loves you for who you are regardless of having the desire to cross dress...Good night everyone and enjoy the college football national championship tonight between Alabama and Clemson. It should be a real exciting game! Thanks for reading my post and write a response if you feel a need to respond. I would love to hear your feedback...Sincerely Scarlett...

- - - Updated - - -

I do wish I could figure out a way to share some of my photos, however, when it comes to technology, it's never been one of my strong suits. I have tried sending an email to myself with no positive results to shrink the photos to the small size needed to send the photos forward. I have read the suggestions on how to do so on this forum, but still can't make it happen. I hope one day I can figure out a way to share some photos so you can see that you can't tell I'm a guy while dressed as a girl. That's one of the most exciting things to me about this cross dressing process. It's taken quite a few years to figure out from professional videos just how to properly apply the makeup modestly and tastefully without going overboard with the application of the makeup. Finding out exactly what clothing, wigs, and accessories took much time and money as well but it was money and time well spent. I don't wear dresses or short sleeved tops. I really look best in short skirts, knit or wool long sleeved tops with a small elastine or spandex blend. I also wear three to four inch wide elastic width faux leather front belts. I wear mostly black tights shear to waist (usually Hanes brand which fit and feel the best) along with knee high boots or short booties that come up just about the ankle. Tights and boots are usually black in color. The lipstick and nail polish are always red in color and are usually almost a dead match in color as well. Chin length bobs are definitely my style in wigs which I only have three but wear the darker of the three with dark roots. The hair is brown in color with a slight auburn tint to it. Everything seems to really work well together and looks pretty and professional and sharp....That's it for tonight. It's late and time to hit the hay....Good night everyone and I'm glad there is a forum for us to share our thoughts, ideas, and suggestions. I had no idea that the percentage of guys who really love the feel and look of girl's clothing was so high. That was really nice to find that out...Thanks for reading my posts and again, good night everyone....Scarlett

[Kelly Whelan]

Hi Scarlett. The biggest thing for many of us is the acceptance of our wife/partner. Where you are with your wife is as far as many of us want to take it, just knowing that you aren't deceiving anyone is a huge relief. I'm more or less in that place right now, the mutual desire not to bring it into the room.

Your description of yourself is in a way typical - typical in that it illustrates just how there is no 'typical crossdresser'. Religious or political views are not predictive of anyone's urge to do this. It might however complicate other people's reactions through ingrained attitudes and/or teachings. That being said, I'm sure you'll find people here from a similar background as yourself.

[Teri Ray]

Scarlett,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am happy for you that things for you and your wife are headed in the right direction. Your story is not too far removed from mine. Having the discussion about your crossdressing desires with your wife is never easy. There are many on this site with similar experiences. Take it slow and steady and look for lessons and advice in other sections of this forum. The only advice I can share (from personal experience) is to always ensure that your wife knows she is loved and remains your primary interest. And above all do not rush for more acceptance. Best wishes.

[ronda]

sower her with flowers gifts and most of your love let her know how fantastic she is move slowly and give her time let it be her idea to move foward

[Helen_Highwater]

Scarlett,

Welcome, good to have you with us.

Re being able to shrink photo's; this link may help you create an Avatar.

http://www.shrinkpictures.com/create-avatar/

As for resizing pics so as to be suitable for posting in essence you need to reduce the pixel count. Most camera brands, Olympus, Panasonic, Kodak etc. have their own dedicated photo management software. Which ever camera you use download the s/w and consult the user guide. Alternatively, and I've never used this, you could try; http://photoeditor.funphotobox.com/image-resizer

I can't vouch for how good it is but I found it by doing a Google search, resize picture pixels online

Hope to see pics soon.

[Scarlett398]

Thanks so much for your reply and advice, Helen...I have a very nice Nikon D3100 camera and I'm sure there is a resizing format on the camera....I'm very busy today but will take extra time to view the link you provided and will attempt again by the end of the week to post some photos...If I ever get them on here, Helen, you will be impressed with the fact that you can't tell there's a guy in those pretty clothes! Can't wait to share them with you...Scarlett:)

- - - Updated - - -

Super advice, Ronda. I do buy her flowers on a regular basis and won't change that at all. I also buy really bright colored paper and write her a short little note each day, some are longer than others - maybe 2 or 3 pages, telling her how much I love her and something I did just for her each day. She has always appreciated the notes. Ronda, I use the really fat writing black sharpie pens to write each note in bold letters. We made love last night and the CD subject was just barely addressed at the end of our session. She said to me after a few laughs, "Why don't you try to do a couple of extra chores after sashaying around the house in pretty clothes?" I just laughed it off and told her I would do something really special around the house each today. Today was scrubbing her bathroom from top to bottom. Even behind and underneath the toilet! Ronda, you're right, I need to give her plenty of time to take this not so new desire of mine in. I want be dressed up when she comes home unless she comes home really early again. But I'll simply tell her if she decides to come home really early, just give me an hour or so heads up as to when she'll be home and I'll be back to the man she fell in love with instead of the girl she fell in love with. I do have a fantasy to make love to her one night while all dressed in femme...Whether that will ever happen or not will be totally up to her and I won't even bring up the suggestion until I know she might even be remotely interested in giving it a try. I'm just so glad I don't have to worry about heading to divorce court if I get caught dressed up as a pretty girl! It is such a relief that she knows that this is just a small part of what makes me be me. Thanks for the hugs and advice and I hope I can get some photos on this forum within the next couple of weeks or so...Scarlett

- - - Updated - - -

Great advice Teri Ray...Same as Ronda's advice above and see my answer to her post. I'm glad you could relate to what I've been facing. I have been in the closet and afraid of getting caught for so long. I am glad the secret is no longer a secret anymore and is finally accepted as part of me. I feel so much more relaxed and relieved that it's OK if she sees my makeup or clothes or boots etc. I'm glad are stories had much in common and you could relate to my situation. Thanks for your post and look forward to hearing more from you. You look very pretty by the way!...Scarlett

[Alice B]

Having your wife accept your dressing is a great blessing, but not always with such a good response.As I read posts in this site I see some that are not good at all. I have always said and posted that honesty is the only way to go and it always tests the strength of the relatiionship. A strong and honest relationship can weather the storm in most cases and over time the way it works changes. In my case telling my wife at the start resulted in acceptance, with stipulations that over time came with greater acceptance and greater freedom. Being retired allowed me to dress freely at home while my wife was at work. I could occasionally dress and go out and could attend DLV freely. When my wife also retired it chnaged the game. She was at home much more often and though I could dress, it was stressful because she did not enjoy interacting that much. Thus reduced chances to express myself. I would have to look for occasiions to dress at home when I knew she would be out on a hike or at a meeting. Can still go out, but a medical issue elimated that for the past few months. I find that my stress goes up and desire also rises, thus have to find ways to deal with it. The point of this rambling is that dressing is a constant battle of sorts, but if you are open and honest about it you will survive. If your are in a marriage as some posted here you have to find a way to get help with the marriage and your self or it will fail.Society acceptance is getter better all the time, but many wifes are not yet there. Good for you and your wife. You are ahead of the curve.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Scarlett, I'm happy for you that things are working out, but I urge you to take a very long term view on expanding your wife's degree of acceptance. Think years, not months. She needs a lot of time to grow truly comfortable with the new developments in her life. Even if she encourages you, still take it very easy.

Thanks for sharing your story.

[Scarlett398]

Thanks Kelly, for your post in response to mine. I do believe, after reading many posts on this forum, there in no "typical cross dresser". Some of us have many things in common and many things different from our individual situations and relationships with our wives or SOs. The mutual desire not to bring it into the room to respect my wife's wishes in regards to cross dressing is OK with me and OK with her. Now she hasn't asked me a litany of questions as to why I have a desire to dress up like a pretty girl. I have no rehearsed answers for the questions that may come from her soon. I'll do my very best to be totally honest and forthright with my answers to any questions she may have. Sometimes I don't know why I have such a strong desire to cross dress. I have always been envious of all the types of clothes girls have to choose from as opposed to the rather boring stuff we get to choose from - i.e. shirts, pants, shoes, coats, and no makeup....Kinda boring isn't it. I love the selection, the feel. the look of the girly clothes so much more than the boring stuff we get to choose from. No wonder women like to shop so much. I like to shop too! You have probably seen the posts regarding what the pretty outfits I usually put together consist of - short wool or spandex skirts (skater, flounce, etc) worn with black shear to waist tights and black knee high boots or above ankle booties with close fitting knit or wool tops in a scoop neck or turtle neck styles. The costume jewelry is usually black and silver in color and I love those black and silver stretch rights you can find at the outlet stores in various styles. I like the wide elastic belts with faux leather fronts with various types of buckles in front. Makeup is tasteful and never over done - like your photo! I don't want to look like a hooker or a guy in drag in some sort of parade. I want to look like a girl and I don't want others to even have a clue that I am a guy when totally dressed in femme. I think I pull it off really well. You seem to do a super job with that as well. I have a favorite chin length bob wig or two that no one could tell that it's a wig when I have one on. It's a trimmed up wig known as a "Shannon" in the Paula Young selection - tasteful and sexy at the same time. As mentioned on some of my previous posts, I have learned from those professional videos on makeup application and apply it modestly and tastefully...Again, I don't want to come off looking like a hooker! Thanks again for your reply and I am so glad you could relate to my individual situation...Sincerely...Scarlett

- - - Updated - - -

Will do..Thanks so much for your input, Nikki...Scarlett

[pantyhoselvr kendra]

I am so happy for you Scarlett. 31 years ago my wife dressed me as a woman for a halloween party, i have been dressing up ever since. Sometimes she brings me something home to wear but i get most of my clothes online. It will be easier with time. Good luck!

[Scarlett398]

Thanks Kendra....I don't think my wife will ever bring me home any girl clothes to wear. I actually like to buy all of my own girly clothes. I buy a lot of them in the juniors department of Khol's. Great selection of the tops and skirts I like. They always have fabulous sales going on as well. I buy most all of my boots or booties on line with JC Penneys and have them delivered to the store close to my home. If I need a wig, it's always the "Shannon" wig on line at Paula Young wigs. Makeup I buy at Walmart or Walgreens. The best makeup remover is by Neutrogena. Their makeup remover moisture towels are absolutely the best. I like the equate finger nail remover at Walmart. I use a nail brush along with the nail remover to get the final bit on the sides of the nails off. I, like you, have been dressing up for a long time. it's fun, sexy, sensual, relaxing, and actually rewarding and I'm always learning something with the process. Now, if my wife comes home early from work and I hear the garage door opening two hours early, I don't have to push the "freak out" button in my mind. I came close to getting caught several times in the past and it was really nerve racking! Now I don't have to worry about getting caught anymore. I will have to try my best not to be dressed up when she comes home but at least now it's just fine if I get seen all dressed up. I feel really free and relaxed now that she's accepted the cross dressing side of me. I feel for the guys who have to live continuously in the closet and keep everything a secret from their wives. ....Gotta go.. thanks for posting...Scarlett....

[Aunt Kelly]

Scarlett,
So happy to hear this went well for you. You are one of the lucky few that had things turn out well. And it certainly sounds like you have a good handle on where you should go from here, and the pace you should take. Who knows? After the initial shock, your wife may warm to Scarlett. Just let her know, subtly, how much you love her for appreciating what dressing means to you. You don't want to give the impression that you feel like you now have permission to "go crazy". Good luck to you both.

Hugs,


Kelly

[Suzie Petersen]

Scarlett,

In my view, your situation qualifies as "Clear and Present Danger"! I dont think you fully appreciate how thin the ice under you might be right now.

Everything you have told us about your wife's immediate reaction is totally in line with a typical reaction for a wife who just realizes she has a CD husband. The fact that she has not packed and moved back to mom yet, or changed the door locks while you were picking up groceries, does not mean she is fully accepting your desires to dress as "a pretty girl". It might just mean that she has not yet completely processed the situation.

Nikki is absolutely right, you should think "years, not months" right now. You have not told us anything that makes me believe she is "OK with [your] cross dressing".

You are focusing way too much of the positive details that you desperately desire to hear, and at the same time ignoring all the negative signs.

If I were you, I would listen very carefully to the advise you will get from those who have been in a similar situation. You are far from out of the woods yet, and any thoughts of not having to worry about hiding things from your wife anymore are very very premature.

Dont get me wrong, I wish you the very best and absolutely hope you are the one to break the pattern, but ... from what you have shared so far, I am not putting any money on that bet just yet.

- Suzie

[Scarlett398]

No Kelly, I know I don't have permission to go crazy. I know I still have to do my dressing in my own privacy. I know I can't dress up as Scarlett and prance around our home in front of my loving wife. She's accepted the cross dressing, however, we've been together for a lot of years and I now know, contrary to Suzie's post, I don't have to worry about me or my wife packing any bags and leaving for mom's house. We are way beyond that in our relationship and she had previously known about my cross dressing over a year or so ago. I know from the interaction and communication that has gone on between us over the past four days, there won't be any packing of bags or heading to divorce court. We have been together for many years and have been through tougher times than this cross dressing desire of mine. We have both overcome so many difficult situations concerning sports and other injuries and serous issues (nothing to do with infidelity or anything like that). But moves with job loss of job issues and things similar to those issues which will remain private. I may have not made it clear that she is alright with my cross dressing and we have discussed it in detail over the past two days. She just prefers me to keep it private and do it when she's at work and not at home and I'm just fine with that. She knows this has nothing to do with the everlasting love I have always had for this gorgeous girl. She will always be the love of my life - not my desire to cross dress. I am not obsessive about my cross dressing. I can do it twice a week or twice a month and be satisfied with that kind of time to enjoy this fun and sexy hobby of mine. It doesn't have some sort of constant control over me like that associated with some sort of addiction to a drug, cigarettes, or alcohol. I have never done drugs, I'm allergic to tobacco, and I don't like the taste of alcohol. I only have a glass of wine when we are at a ball or formal affair we have to attend each year. Bottom line is cross dressing is something I really enjoy and something I'm really good at but it has not absolute control over any part of my other life...Thanks for reading my post and I appreciate all of the input I have received on this forum...Scarlett

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks for your input, Suzie. I can assure you from the relationship and communication I have with my lovely wife, there is no "Clear and Present Danger" regarding the cross dressing issue destroying our long term loving marriage. She knew about the cross dressing before and had a hard time accepting it years ago. She has an open mind about it now and has made it very clear to me that this has no bearing on bringing on a close to our marriage. After living, loving, spoiling, and working really hard for my wife and me, trust me, I know where I stand with my gorgeous wife and all is well. I know my limits. I can't dress up and head to the mall or take a walk around our block dressed as Scarlett. I'm good with that. In closing, I guess you would have to know the real strength of love we have with each other. I believe the only thing that could take us apart would be infidelity with another person (which was what brought the end to our first marriages with infidelity of her former husband over 25 years ago and the infidelity of my former wife over 25 years ago). So trust me all is well and I know my limits. I will continue to keep my wardrobe out of direct site as well as my collection of makeup and application brushes. And all else having to do with my cross dressing...I do appreciate your input.. You'll just have to trust me for now...Everything is just fine with no worries of dissolving of our long term and loving marriage....Scarlett

[Suzie Petersen]

Scarlett,

I am very glad to hear that you feel your marriage is on solid ground, that is wonderful for sure.
It is of course impossible for anyone out here in cyber world to know what your relationship is actually like, the only facts we have to go by is what you tell us. The other thing we use, is the comparison to personal experience and also to the experiences of others we have heard about, here on this forum or elsewhere.

As for what you have told us, things like:


Her immediate reaction was not pleasant at all. I was given the silent treatment for one full day

and


A year or so ago, she had seen photos I had placed on our computer that I had thought I had erased. She seemed to be totally put off on even the thought of me dressing up in female clothing.

This indicates a very typical reaction from a wife who has immediate trouble with this. Many here have experienced the same initial reaction.

Then things like this:


I never thought she would be accepting of this desire of mine due to her conservative thinking when it relates to the subject of cross dressing.

which tells me that you yourself is a little surprised that she would be accepting, so even though you know her extremely well from a long relationship, you are telling us that a positive reaction to your dressing would actually be a surprise to you.

Those of us reading your account of what has happened over the last very few days, plus the notes of the first time your wife caught you, will remember stories from others or our own stories, where the same things happened. We then know that it can go in a couple different directions from here, and there are many stories of it turning bad even after it seemingly started out very positive. This is why people will advise you to be very careful and not push your luck, because that can turn the situation in a bad direction quickly.


But I'll simply tell her if she decides to come home really early, just give me an hour or so heads up as to when she'll be home and I'll be back to the man she fell in love with instead of the girl she fell in love with.

While it seems like a good solution that your wife simply gives you a heads-up if her plans change, it can also easily cause her to feel she is not allowed to come and go in her own house without having to check in with you first. I speak from experience here.

What also worry me, is that in the same breath of air you talk about having been caught dressed, your wife not liking it at all, then your wife accepting this as long as she does not have to see you and then you add that you are already hoping to push the boundaries and someday be able to dress in front of her and you say you also have a fantasy of making love while you are dressed up.
This all fits well with a very classic patter we hear about here regularly where the CD gets caught and the wife has a negative reactions but also says a few somewhat positive things. The CD often tend to only hear the positive and often gets ecstatic by the feeling of freedom now that "it is all out in the open" and "there is no need to hide anything anymore". That then sometimes causes the CD to throw caution to the wind and push the limits by leaving girl clothes out "by mistake" or moving it into the family closet, bringing the dressing up in conversation too often, underdressing when the wife is around etc etc. Many have then been very surprised when the wife suddenly reacts very badly.

So all I am saying to you, is that based on many many experiences similar to yours, you should be careful how fast you proceed. You might be one of the lucky ones, but you should be careful cause you might just be one of the typical ones too.

- Suzie

[Scarlett398]

Suzie, I really appreciate your post and the obvious time, thought, and my own quotes used in putting your post together with such solid rationale and insight based on your own past experiences and experiences of others who have posted on this site noting their own experiences with similar situations. Sounds like you, like me, have been cross dressing for quite some time now and have had a similar experience with coming out of the closet with a wife or significant other. As a result of your insightful post, I respect your thoughts and advice.
I have been with my wife for many years and she is very liberal in her thoughts with all types of people included in the LGBTQ communities. I'm not even sure, myself, if cross dressing is even a subset of the LGBTQ equation. I'm not sure where CD fits into this above noted community. I'm not even sure if we are accepted as well as those specifically noted by the letters in LGBTQ. Suzie, I have only been out in public dressed in femme once in my life - which was about a year ago - and it was to a 9 o'clock movie at a theatre not too far from our home and all went really well. I had even gone to the theatre earlier in the day to purchase my ticket so I wouldn't have to use my voice while purchasing a ticket while dressed in full femme. I felt a bit nervous but extremely confident as well because of the way I look when dressed in femme and the way I can walk with confidence as a real lady while dressed in femme. All went really well and I look forward to giving it a go a couple of times in the near future when my wife will be out of town on business. I might even try a stroll through the mall while dressed up.
Today, I dressed up in a variety of outfits for about 5 hours while my wife was at work with no fear at all of getting caught while dressed. I know my wife, even if she came home today while I was dressed, everything would be just find. Saturday night, after making love and having a few laughs in bed, she said "try to do a couple of extra chores around the house while sashaying about the house all dressed up" I told her I will make a point to make sure to do the extra chores and maybe a few more while dressed up next time and today I did just that. She doesn't know today I dressed up but was very please with the extra couple of huge chores I did today before she got home. I guess I misspoke when I said she had very conservative views on certain things such as cross dressing which she used to have. But for some reason, Suzie, she's finally OK with it.
Trust me, I won't press my luck or try anything crazy like prancing around the neighborhood while dressed up as Scarlett. We have both had gay, bisexual, trans gendered, and lesbian friends at our former lines of work and current line of work. They are still our friends and we have no plans on losing them ever. So I did misspoke as far as her conservative thoughts, however, I never had the feeling she would be comfortable with a man cross dressing. But the last few days has changed my mind about her finally being able to accept my desire to dress up as a girl. I wish I could give you some sort of solid assurance that she will be OK with it long term, but I know my wife really well from being with her for many years and I can tell you that she has changed her mind about my cross dressing desires. I will respect her feelings about me not dressing while she's off and around the house but have hope one day she may change her mind about that as well. Time will tell. I won't press it. Cross dressing is not an addiction of mine - it's a very pleasant and fun hobby that does not control my mind 24/7. Do I think I can ever give cross dressing up - no. It's too fun, sensual, exciting, challenging, sexy, I enjoy the entire process. The clothes, makeup, shopping, sexy underwear (which is usually some sexy black stretch lace panties and a matching black bra). I also wear some shape wear as well. The boots and booties are the right size and easy to walk in. They fit well, feel comfortable, and look super! The whole process is enjoyable and I can't see ever giving it up. I have given it up and purged my wardrobe on about 3 or 4 occasions over a span of a long time period of cross dressing and really regret ditching some really sharp and sexy clothing and boots which took quite an investment to build such a wardrobe. But it won't ever happen again.
I think I have gone on too long tonight. But all is well at home and I feel so relieved and relaxed that staying totally in the closet and having to worry about getting caught while dressed is done and over with...I get to dress again tomorrow if I want to....That's it for tonight and thanks for reading my post....Take care everyone and thanks for your support and advice with my ability to come out of the closet finally with my loving wife....Sincerely, Scarlett...Hope to have a few photos for ya'll to check out within the next week or so.....

[Jeri Ann]

Hey Scarlett,

I am technically challenged, as many on the forum well know. But, I do know that resizing a photo with paint is simple, even I can do it. If you pc has paint, you can find it by clicking the windows icon at the lower left corner of your screen. Type paint in the search box there and hit enter. It will come up if there. Then you can open a picture and right click on it. A menu will pop up that has "open with" as an option and when the cursor is on that option a sub menu comes up and paint should be an option. Click paint and the picture opens within that program. There is a resize function in the upper left area of the screen. Click on pixels, change the larger number to 500, click save and your picture is resized.

I hope this helps. Pictures cam be so frustrating. If this doesn't help, sorry. You'll have to defer to the techno- chicks on the forum, they will help you.
By the way, congrats on the acceptance. Go slow here.

Jeri

[Lana Mae]

Well, there is a diverse amount of opinions here! I am just going to say, thanks for sharing, slow down and take small steps, and best wishes going forward! Hugs Lana Mae

[Scarlett398]

Thanks for your hugs and support Lana Mae...I got pounded by a couple of folks on this forum, which I didn't expect. One who suggested their post may be deleted and if so the entire thread be deleted. That was a bit hard to read but I respect their thoughts and I wish they would have been a bit more positive about my positive post. But I guess we can't please everyone on this forum. When I write a post on this forum, I never write a negative post in response to anyone's post. This forum is really not set up for pounding on people based on most of what I've seen so far. It's challenging enough being a cross dresser and not quite sure where you fit in in the LGBTQ communities. I hope the thread or any of the posts related to my thread whether they be negative or positive are not deleted. It's taken a lot of time to come out of the closet concerning my cross dressing and I'm so glad it's now accepted in a very private manner by my loving wife. I hope someone will be able to read my post and find something positive about it and somehow find their way out of the closet one day...Thanks for reading and responding...

[Suzie Petersen]

Scarlett,

I am not sure if you consider my replies to you in this thread as negative or not, but I assure you that they were written with the intent to help you, not the opposite.

In this forum and and elsewhere, I have seen many times that CD get themselves in tremendous trouble because they misinterpret a wife's or GF's first reactions to the disclosure of dressing and push forward too soon. The CD has been hiding this part of himself for a long time and have high hopes of acceptance. That can cause a tunnel vision that only sees the signs that fit with that hope of acceptance.

So all I am advocating here, is that people who find themselves at this point be very careful with how they proceed and that they pay close attention to all of their wife's or GF's signals, be they clearly communicated or not, not just the ones that gets you what you want.
You have to remember that the relationship is equally important to both of you. It is important that whatever one of you wants fits with what the other want, if not then it will potentially hurt the relationship, directly for one of you and indirectly for both.
Also remember that just because she did not say NO, does not mean she said YES!

One of the great values of this forum is the long history of peoples personal stories. As your own story develops, it would be great if you would make sure to offer updates on how it is going and what you learned along the way, good or bad. Sometimes people come in and tell the beginning, but we never hear the outcome and therefore end up wondering what happened.



- Suzie

[IamWren]

What Suzie said above really resonates with me. "As your own story develops, it would be great if you would make sure to offer updates on how it is going and what you learned along the way, good or bad. Sometimes people come in and tell the beginning, but we never hear the outcome and therefore end up wondering what happened."

Being a member of the Sorority of Closeteers I'd like to say thanks for posting your story and ask that you please let us know what happens in the future. Wishing you the best. — Sayyidah

[Scarlett398]

Thanks Sayyidah and I will keep you folks posted on how things go from here. All is absolutely fantastic so far and I expect things to keep moving forward in a very positive direction.....Thanks for reading and responding to my post...Scarlett

[Tracy Irving]

Nice story. Glad everything is going well.

[Scarlett398]

Thanks, Suzie....I again appreciate your sincere advice and I will keep everyone posted on how things are going.
I didn't know about the political or religious taboos on this forum. I apologize for bringing it up and won't go there again. You can see from the recent date I joined this forum, I'm really new to this forum and this is the only CD forum I have ever been a member of. Bottom line, I don't know all of the proper etiquette associated with a forum like this and hope all excuse me of my lack of knowledge of what you can and can't address here on crossdressers.com. I knew, from a brief review of the dos and don'ts, that you can't say anything vulgar or anything in bad sexual taste. I also know if I can ever figure out how to post a photo on this forum, it has to be a tasteful and fully clothed photo without showcasing any of our private physical parts which makes total sense to me. None of my photos are of me in lingerie or underwear. They are all of me fully clothed and very tasteful. I can't wait to have you and others take a look at what I look like when dressed as Scarlett.
Like many others on this forum, technology has never been one of my strengths. Public speaking, writing, fashion, reading, and few other strengths are in my wheel house.
Again, I will keep you and others posted on my progress and try my best to respond to others who post on this forum in a very positive and upbeat manner. I like to give whatever advice I can offer from my own education and experiences and hope I can help others with questions and/or comments in this forum. Thanks for a positive response and look forward to hearing from you in the near future...Scarlett

[Suzie Petersen]

Scarlett,

This forum is all about helping each other, so people will offer suggestions and help even if you dont ask for it and sometimes, people will offer you advise when it seems you dont know you need it! ;)

About the Do's and Dont's then I think it would be good for you to read the "rules" when you have a moment. The rules are there to help keep the forum nice and pleasant for everybody, and knowing the details will make it easy for you to enjoy this little community without getting in trouble.

As for showing your picture then I think that would be great. It gives people a better feel for who you are and it can be a lot of fun to share.
Several people have already given you good suggestions on how to resize pictures! Go back and look at Helen's post and Texgirls post too. Good advice! If you have a computer running Windows, you probably already have the program "Paint" that Texgirl mentioned. Follow her instructions!

Also, your Nikon D3100 camera actually has a built in features for this. Look at page 156 in the user manual that came with your camera. It talks about "Small Picture" and is a way to save a small version that you can use here.
If you need more help just ask, but before you do, spend a little time and try some of the suggestions people have already offered.

- Suzie

[Scarlett398]

Thanks a bunch, Suzie...I'm going to the rules now and then I'm going to see if paint is on my Windows. I'll also, tomorrow, dig up my owner's manual on my Nikon (which may be a bit hard to locate but I can think of about four different places where it can be and check out the sizing feature on my camera and give that a try as well...Oh well, on to the rules...I'll read them from top to bottom this time...I do want to share some photos or at least be able to post a profile photo...Time for the rules....Thanks again for all your advice...Scarlett

[IleneD]

Scarlett,

Welcome to the forum, and THANK YOU so much for sharing your story. No, it wasn't too long to read.
It read like a chapter from my own story. Your's is a tale with a familiar refrain. I'm glad that your marriage wasn't put at risk by the unplanned disclosure.

I too was "caught"; (me in panties), though it wasn't a complete surprise to The Wife of 39 yrs. I've always been eccentric; and not just a little bit. I was a career military officer (flew fighter jets). The last guy you'd every imagine loving a dress (aren't we all?). I Praise The Lord my (equally conservative and Catholic) wife knew and loved enough about ME, that we've gotten through the initial news and had The Talk.

We're still having The Talk. It isn't easy, either. We do it. I've learned through the wisdom, maturity and experience of the many girls on this Forum to take baby steps as my CD life grows, and my beloved wife gets accustomed to the notion that the man she knew for so long had another (beautiful) side.

I love your story. I pray for you and your wife. Yes,..... it changes your relationship. You already know that. Nothing will ever be the same again, but it need not be a bad/negative future either.

[Scarlett398]

Alrighty, I just read that politics and religion are taboo topics....Won't go there anymore....I read all of the other rules pertaining to posts....All of them make very good sense...

- - - Updated - - -

Hi Ilene, thank you for your positive and encouraging response. I just wrote you a long response to your post, but sometimes when you take too long to write a post, the system won't let the post go and that's what happened in this case. I found out I was logged off before I hit the post button. I'll write you again tomorrow if I have time. I'm glad your story has a lot of commonality to mine. Things are going even better than expected here at home and my loving wife and I have had "The Talk" and it went well beyond my expectations. She knows I love her even more (if that's possible) for her total acceptance of my desire to cross dress. I won't go into detail as to the communications between me and my wife. The writing of the post would be way too long to put together tonight. I will be able to continue with my cross dressing without having to ditch all of my wardrobe and promise to never cross dress again. I am so relieved and so glad the hiding is over and The Intial Talk is over and was very very positive and encouraging..That's it for now...I'm glad you have an understanding and loving wife and wish my earlier response I wrote to you tonight would have been posted before the time out happened. Take care and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future...Sincerely Scarlett

[Suzie Petersen]

Scarlett,

When you log in to the forum, there is a little checkbox called [Remember Me]. Click that one and the system will not log you off when you write a long post.

- Suzie

[Scarlett398]

OK Suzie....Hey, I think I finally got a photo to upload into my profile picture..Go check it out and tell me what you think...It's really small so you can't really see the details but it's there...Maybe you can tell me how to post others in different outfits somewhere else on this forum...Scarlett

- - - Updated - - -

Alright Ozark, my profile photo is finally up...Go check it out and you'll see why I have absolutely no reason to feel "sad". I wish the photo were larger so you could see it better and I hope I can post some more somewhere else on this forum where they can be viewed as a larger photo. I look really sharp and sexy don't I...do you see any of that "fetish" dressing you were talking about in that profile photo? Now I hope you can see how I can walk through a mall, a movie theatre, or the most crowded place downtown and no one could tell there's a guy in that skirt! How do you like the outfit. Doesn't look very fetish does it? Can you tell I'm a guy in that tasteful skirt, top, makeup, wig, and booties? I've got plenty more photos where that one came from and they all look really sharp and tasteful!

- - - Updated - - -

Tracy...Go check out my profile photo I finally go to upload. I guess I finally got it the right size. It's really small....wish you could see the 8x10 version...Tell me what you think...Scarlett

- - - Updated - - -

Sayyidah...Please go check out my profile photo. I finally got it the right size to import...It's really small..wish you could see the 8x10 version....

- - - Updated - - -

Jeri...I finally got my profile photo up...Go check it out! It's really small and wish there were someplace where we could post a larger picture so you could see the details better. Thanks for helping me get this photo on here..I used "Paint" to get it the right size..Give me some honest feedback on the entire outfit and the makeup job too...I respect your opinion...Sincerely, Scarlett

[Suzie Petersen]

Nice picture Scarlett, looking good!

Go have a look at the "Picture and Video gallery" room. You can post larger pictures there.

- Suzie

[Scarlett398]

Thanks a bunch, Suzie, you've been a big help...have a super weekend....Scarlett

[Scarlett398]

My update, Sayyidah....from Scarlett...Things are going even better than I ever dreamed they would go. My wife accepts my cross dressing and our love life has even picked up just when I thought it couldn't get any better. I guess it's her way of letting me know that coming out really wasn't going to affect our relationship because of the amount of love and respect we have had for each other for so many years. I feel even so much more relieved knowing if she comes home from work early and sees me completely all girled up, it's just fine with her. We will keep it between just us and it won't be something we'll spread amongst any of our family members, friends, or coworkers. So that's it for now. It's absolutely fantastic!....Sincerely, Scarlett