Sissy As It Applies to CDs

[Julie MA]

CDs are sometimes called sissies, though I realize there is a distinctive difference. Do you find the term sissy derogatory? I also realize the context and delivery of the term, affects the intent. Whenever Vanessasissy posts, and I presume she does not find it derogatory, I have wondered what other CDs think about it.

[Eve_cd]

I think it's a subset of CD's, and has further divisions. Generally seems to apply to the submissive mindset.

[Fiona123]

I think that among ourselves sissy can be a term of endearment. For others it's a pejorative. We need to be careful and respectful when using that word.

[Pat]

CDs are also sometimes called gay when they're not. Not sure that one form of ignorance is better than another -- it's just ignorance on the part of the speaker.

[Fiona123]

Also we ought not conflate sissy in a sexual sense with our gender identity.

[justnikki]

CDs are sometimes called sissies, though I realize there is a distinctive difference. Do you find the term sissy derogatory? I also realize the context and delivery of the term, affects the intent. Whenever Vanessasissy posts, and I presume she does not find it derogatory, I have wondered what other CDs think about it.

I was under the understanding that the term sissy historically was to describe an effeminate male in a derogatory vernacular. I remember being in school in the UK and that term being thrown around in the playground. I don't think it is used by today's kids like it was in the 60's and 70's. However in modern day the historical definition still stands but also refers to that of a sexual act in S&M play.

Personally, I'm not a fan.

[pantyhoselvr kendra]

I consider myself as a sissy and proud of it. To me it has everything to do with my sexuality and nothing to do with my cross dressing

[Jackie7]

Bullies in grade school called me sissy I hated it and don't want to wear it even now, 60 years later.

[Cheryl T]

I think that the term "sissy" must be taken in context.
If someone were to apply it to me I would find it distasteful, but not derogatory as I know it actually does not apply to me. It would be more that someone was uninformed than being hateful.

Some of our community like the term and embrace it. There are those that enjoy the satiny clothing many associate with the term, such as the little girl look. God bless them.
To others it's a reference to their supposed sexuality and as I said it's done so by those misinformed.

To each her own. For me it's just not an accurate description and that's all.

[phili]

There is no exact male version of 'tomboy', which is acceptable behavior for girls. 'Sissy' is the one word descriptive noun, but comes loaded with 'unacceptable' in everyday usage. I think Sissy is on a par with 'nigger', and is used the same way, by abusers and by those who want to disarm its power by using it in our community.

[Jenniferathome]

debated ad nauseam already. Do a search

[Sheren Kelly]

I believe the term has evolved over the years.
In my younger days, a "sissy" described any unmanly male, and usually was applied to gays. Now it seems to be attached to the fetish world for those who indulge in French maid/little girl fantasies. I wish there were a better term for a feminine male that wasn't pejorative.

[Stephanie47]

Yeah, "sissy" has been a topic before, but, there are always new members here.

A word is a word is a word. Many times sissy used in the same sentence will confer different meanings based upon word inflection. A bully in the school yard calling a boy a sissy because he does not engage in sports well does not confer the same meaning as a wife patting her husband on the butt while he is wearing a French maid outfit and washing the dishes! Then there is the same male forced to be attired in a French maid outfit and subject to otherwise humiliating words and loving it.

I've never been called a sissy. If my wife were to call me a sissy if she saw me attired in women's clothing (DADT here) I would resent it because my mindset is not that of a sissy or at least what I think the term refers to.

I do a lot of buying on eBay. I have expressed before on this site my dislike of the term sissy when a seller is offering lingerie and undergarments. The seller usually knows from prior experience that the buyer is a male or at least the billing account is under a male name. The buyer is not really aware of the sexuality or sexual identity of the male buyer, and, it seems to confer a negative belief of either. I rather see a seller explicitly state the garment will be mailed discreetly or all some recognition all buyers are welcome. Sometimes when the seller does not give me a feedback I check to see whether or not the seller is lazy. Many times I see the seller has left feedback for everyone except a male buyer buying women's undergarments (bras, panties and slips). I derive from that the seller has a problem with males buying women's clothing.

[Julie MA]

For those who have been at this party for quite awhile, please forgive that I haven't been heard everything said before I arrived. As for conducting a search, I did, but some of the threads are 23 pages long. Just trying to get some simple feedback from those interested enough to provide constructive input. If the topic is old for you, perhaps find another thread to pull, or maybe it's time for a new party. I'm almost to that point after 3 months. Trying to reduce caustic sources in my life.

[StephanieM]

MY thoughts are, it depends on the context it's being used and if the person likes that term applied to them. Personally I refer to myself as girly which everyone knows has negative connotations, but I feel there is nothing wrong with being a girl so being girly isn't insulting to me, at the same time I never assume referring to anyone else as such is acceptable.

[IleneD]

Grrrrrr.
You have touched an ancient and sensitive nerve about 'sissy'.
I'm approaching 65 yrs; and was a child in the 50s & 60s. Every adult man I knew and who knew me called me a sissy; in effect mocking me throughout childhood. These were working men, mill workers, miners, men who served in WWII & Korea. And to them I was sissy.

Now...... if you don't mind. There's a dress with my name on it for the day.

[ronda]

I think we are worrying to much about what others have to say or call you me I know what I am and how I see my self I have been called everything from a badass as for me I'm a crossdresser nothing more nothing less

[NicoleScott]

debated ad nauseam already. Do a search

Let's hope for your similar reply when the next "tell the wife or not" thread starts.

[Karen RHT]

Just another label to me. How appropriate/inappropriate/derogatory/accurate the term might be, is just a matter of context.

Then again, I have pretty thick skin and don't put a lot of faith in labels, so perhaps I'm biased.


Karen

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm surprised! Twenty posts in and no one yet has posted the old {standing akimbo} "Anybody calls me a sissy is gonna get a big old can of whupass opened up on them." {spits tobacco juice}


Yeah, it's sad, believe me missy when you're born to be a sissy -- Cowardly Lion

[Judith96a]

debated ad nauseam already. Do a search

Agreed! We seem to be getting a lot of this recently. Harrumph!

[Christina D]

Personally, I can't stand the word primarily because of my experience with it when I started questioning my gender identity and crossdressing. As a younger person, I don't immediately associate "sissy" with a playground insult, but rather with degrading, sexual fetishization of crossdressing and submissive, self-deprecating behavior. I associate it with other pornographic labels like tranny, etc.

That being said, when I first started crossdressing, that's what I thought I wanted out of the experience. However, I quickly realized that I don't get a sexual thrill out of dressing and that it has nothing to do with my sexuality. I don't have any interest in being "a sissy slave to a real man" as those exploitive porn sites akd Tumblr accounts might put it. So again, when I hear the word "sissy," it hits me with an intense sense of guilt because I know I went there for a bit and I hate myself for ever having done so.

For the record, I'm not trying to kink shame anyone. If that's what you're into and you're not in any real danger or abuse, that's totally cool, but it's definitely not for me.

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I find the term "sissy" derogatory and demeaning.

[Lana Mae]

I agree with Carole. But if your into that kind of thing...more power to you and be safe! Hugs Lana Mae

[~Joanne~]

Do you find the term sissy derogatory?

Yes and I find the term "Cross Dresser" just as derogatory but can't go into details as to why because it's forbidden to be discussed on this forum.

[Lorileah]

:thinking: pretty sure this was covered not too long ago here. And it didn't end well


(uses search function..... ah here http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?242676-The-sissy-word&highlight=sissy)

[Becky Blue]

I think most people would find it insulting except for the subset who love to identify as that.

[Maria Blackwood]

Personal experiences will likely trump everything else. Personally, due to my years exploring the BDSM scene, I associate the word sissy with that. It's pretty common in the U.K. scene. There's boutiques just for sissies.

[AnnieMac]

I believe there is Philli. They are called "Nancy Boys"

[Tracii G]

So Julie you don't have time to read a portion of the 23 pages?
That is what the search function is for so please don't get all upset when someone mentions using it.
Its one of those subjects that gets a cranky set of responses every time.

[Dana44]

I am a child of the 50's and 60's. Yep My Dad called me a sissy and girly, it went on through school and I was in fights so much over it I never even want to hear that word again. I won most of those fights but it stung and For us we can never see how any body could call themselves that. I might be girly, but never a sissy.

[Edie Palmer]

After being called that and dreading it throughout my entire childhood and teenagehood, it is liberating now to embrace it.

[Diane Smith]

I didn't hear the word too much growing up, and mostly it was meant for someone else, although it may have been thrown in my direction a time or two. But the meaning in our particular time and place wasn't as much "effeminate" as "cowardly" -- you could be called a "sissy" if you didn't want to participate in some dirty, dangerous, violent or potentially humiliating play. I don't think the boys in my neighborhood actually realized that it had sexual connotations.

As to the more modern meaning in the "little girl" or BDSM sense, that doesn't describe my personal version of crossdressing at all, so I'd say it doesn't apply to me. I wouldn't buy an item on eBay that was marketed with that word, for sure, because I feel no affinity to that particular subculture.

- Diane

[Contessa]

The term does not bother me as I always thought it meant effeminate also. Meaning a boy who acted like a girl and therefore was called sissy or meaning a sister. I have no ill feelings for the term as I am a bit effeminate. I am not a girl just "girly"

[sometimes_miss]

CDs are sometimes called sissies, though I realize there is a distinctive difference. Do you find the term sissy derogatory? I also realize the context and delivery of the term, affects the intent. Whenever Vanessasissy posts, and I presume she does not find it derogatory, I have wondered what other CDs think about it.
Looks like you've figured out the answer already.

[donnalee]

I think it has a great deal to do with how much bleeding it caused.

[Julie MA]

And, I did read much of the 23 pages...

[rachael.davis]

I don't tolerate that word. it drove me to the edge of madness, and past the point of mere self loathing. I spent decades embracing hyper masculinity taking insane levels of since I really didn't care much one way or the other about waking up tomorrow, and drinking myself to sleep on a regular basis.

But it's just a word :)

[atxpantyboy]

Doesn't bother me at all, and describes me quite well. I've even used it myself when explaining my crossdressing/bisexuality to some of my friends. I rarely dress to pass as a woman, more just to to emphasize my submissiveness and beta male sexual status. I was at the lake with some girl friends a few months back, and when I took off my shorts to reveal my pink/blue bikini bottoms one of them said, "Wow, those are some sissy little panties!!" I loved it! I'm not into the adult baby stuff or the overly frilly dresses and cosplay kind of CD stuff at all, but I can't think of a more succinct term to describe myself than sissy.

[oh to be rachel]

Doesn't bother me much. That said if someone out and out called me a sissy, I'd definitely have my hackles raised. On the other hand, it infers a less masculine version of maleness that I identify with.

Several years back, I went to a neighborhood halloween party as a woman in a wedding gown. Got a lot of negative shit from that night from men and women. That Christmas I got a book from one neighbor "how to be a man." That bothered me immensely. On the other hand, quite a few women in the neighborhood were very accepting and that felt empowering.

I'm so confused. Anyone else?

[Periwinkle]

For reasons I would prefer not to go into, I hate that term. I cringe every time I hear someone say it. Even if it's not directed at me.

[Meghan4now]

Periwinkle

Yes, I also feel the term is derogatory in most cases, and conveys an image that I would like to avoid in other context. I do not want to be thought of as a Sissy in any term. But that's me. If you like it, well have fun with it.

How much do ruffled panties cost anyway?

[Lorileah]

less than ruffled feathers

[Vicky_Scot]

sissy -a person regarded as effeminate or cowardly. Not ever a complimentary term me thinks.

[vallerie lacy]

Growing up in the fifties, I can remember people using the word to describe those who weren't into sports and such. Although I never remember using it to describe others or being called sissy myself, I can say today that anyone wanting to buy me a super frilly girly "sissy dress" or two, can call me SISSY all day long.

[Krisi]

It's inevitable that topics repeat themselves on web forums. Members come and go. And threads get closed so even if you read them, you can't respond.

Julie, To answer your question, I find the term "sissy" derogatory. I am not a sissy but I am a pretty involved crossdresser. I would not like to be called a "sissy".

[atlflygirl]

The problem here is the terminology used for gurls who want to be dominated by men. Using the word "sissy" can be derogatory, but not having a word to identify yourself as a crossdresser who seeks dominant men can be frustrating. I don't consider myself transgender, but I am quite fem and want to be able to attract guys who are attracted to effeminate crossdresers such as myself. As of now, the term for that is "sissy", and if that is what guys use to identify the fem boys they're attracted to, there's little one can do until porn sites and personals pages start calling it something else.

[Julie MA]

Flygirl, is an effeminate man who wants to attract men a "Twink"? Never understood that word or if it is the same as what you mention.

[AKADonna]

As I was feminized by and have become very submissive to my Wife, I am considered by Her and me to be her sissy. I have become accustomed to be called that by Her. In my opinion, when I just crossdressed, I was a CD'er, but once I went over the line and became submissive to my superior, I became a sissy. I do not find the terms "Crossdresser" or "sissy" to be derogatory - they just better explain who I was and who I have become!

[Christina D]

Julie,

While I'm sure there are some who would disagree (oh labels, so fun!), a twink is generally regarded as a very young (lets say 18-30) gay man who is very skinny and often short, has virtually zero muscle definition, and completely hairless/smooth.

I think where it gets a bit complicated is that most of these attributes (petite and hairless/smooth) are also desirable attributes for crossdressers. The difference as I see it is that while a twink might have a feminine body in those regards, they don't wear women's clothes or present as women. Are there twinks that are also crossdressers? Yes, I'm sure there are, but it's generally reserved for cisgender gay men.

[Ressie]

Atiflygirl explained the current sexual definition quite well. Julie, if you want to learn gay slang, there are lots of websites that define all of it. I believe a twink is a young, thin gay guy and I hope that doesn't offend anyone here.

[Kate Simmons]

I've always said if the shoe fits, wear it. Mostly it depends on what kind of "shoe" it is I guess. I'm just myself. Others' attempts to classify me are just that.:)

[Wallaone]

I only use the term during role play with my wife. Otherwise I think it's generally deragatory. my$.02
Paula

[NicoleScott]

No, sissy is not a synonym for crossdresser. Nobody should be called a sissy if they don't want to be. But there are some who identify as a sissy, and some who identify as a sissy sometimes. It's a good word when used properly.
Currently in the news, there is an attempt, using legal tactics, to force a name change for Moby Dick's restaurant, because the name is offensive to some. If you don't like the name, don't go there, and instead familiarize yourself with the book. What? It's a book?
The student body of a new school voted Cougar as their nickname and mascot. It was disallowed by the administration as "offensive to women".
That's the trend. If I don't like a word, nobody's allowed to use it.
C'mon, man!

[Randee]

Claiming words like that to be offensive usually exposes one's ignorance as to origin.

[Lacy PJs]

I don't particularly like the term but as others have said, it can and does apply to some who pursue that particular lifestyle. I mean... if you are "effeminate and or cowardly," no doubt that is derogatory. But some here have already successfully pointed out that if it applies to the super girly or frilly/lacy stile that a person tries to create for themselves, then that person may well be satisfied with the title.

Kind of off of the subject a little but years ago, I was seriously looking at a French maid's dress on Ebay but eventually passed because the seller described it as "perfect for the sissy type." Maybe that is the look I was going for but didn't like it framed in that context. I've been on the hunt for a double layered chiffon peignoir set but still shy away from any that are described as appealing to the sissy in you. I guess I feel that such a garment can be worn by a non-sissy type and that's where I'd like to "fit."

Lacy PJs

[Ally 2112]

Im not really crazy about any labels the one that seem to bother me more than sissy was transvestite. It just seemed harsh to me

[HollyGreene]

I hate the word. To me as a child it was always a term of abuse for a pathetic, weak and feeble or effeminate boy.

I'm not very keen on being referred to as "ladies" on this forum and "gurls" really gets my back up. I just ignore it though as I respect what other people think and if they want to use those terms that's IP to them.