How should I act during "First Contact'

[Jerry]

Remember the Star Trek concept of "First Contact"? This is where The Federation makes the first contact with an alien race. It has to be handled delicately so not to freak out the new civilization.

Two years ago I told my wife about my cross dressing. The process of dealing with it has been tough for her. She gives me time, but it is always alone. She has been slightly more receptive recently and I'm now thinking there may be a day in the future where she may be willing to participate in my dressing.

I'm looking for input. If and when this first encounter happens should I:

1. Be me. The cross dressing husband. Talk about my feelings. Talk about the things I've always wanted to talk about. Gently expose her to my alternative life (questions, desires, inspirations, fashion).

or

2. Start with a no pressure game. Make it play. Just a game of dress up where we are girl friends or sisters. The "heavy" stuff can flow out from there.

I can make arguments for both cases. What are your thoughts and experiences? What would you like to do if you haven't had that First Contact yet?

Hog hugs from Arkansas
Jerry

[Laurie Ann]

I would take the track of number two keep it light and fun.

[Honey GG]

As a wife I would go with #1 first, save #2 for further down the acceptance road.She is going to need understanding of all this first before she can even think about 'playing'.
Also I never think of my husband as my 'girlfriend or yikes-SISTER??'He is always my husband no matter how he is dressed.

I know you want your wifes acceptance so much, but take it slow. My husband wrote me a long letter explaining it all and what he hoped for. Perhaps you can try this?
Good luck to you both.

Honey- GG

[DonnaT]

I suggest you ask your wife. Take the guess work out of it.

[Mirragea]

0.02 Yes I remember.IMO I would say go with number 1.Don't forget at "First Contact"you have to bring along the new civilization at a slow rate.They have just learned to reach warp.You can't get to excited and show warp 9 or other technologies on "First Contact".She may not be ready.Don't forget the "prime directive".Too much too early can make"First Contact" difficult .(i'm so thrilled by your Star Trek referances):D

[Shelby]

Just hope that it doesn't look like the alternate mirror universe of First Contact seen in the Enterprise series. Cochran pulls a blaster out, and its downhill from there.

[Gwen]

I would go with number three.

3) Give her control. Let her decide where it's going to go and how fast.

-Gwen

[Shelly Preston]

I would also suggest if you have a pic of yourself she may want to see that first before she sees you dressed.

[Nikki Dee]

I just hope it works out well for you both...whichever way you choose... Best of luck.
Love Nikki. x

[Lindahexi]

You say you came out to her 2 years ago, I think if she wanted to participate she would have said so by now. My advice is to take things really easy, don't try to involve her unless she shows some (even very slight) interest.

I know how hard it can be, I'm out to my wife and she accepts it, but she never talks about it or wants to participate, but at least I don't have to hide everything from her.

Hope things work out for you, good luck,

Hugs,

Linda.