Is there a difference between what motivates a crossddresser to dress and.....

[Billy]

Is there a difference between what motivates a crossdresser to dress and what motivates an alcoholic to drink?

Are crossdressers powerless over their dressing?

Are alcoholics powerless over alcohol?

Are both innate?

[Lily Catherine]

Any statement here is probably a stroke with a massive brush. The narrative that dominates this side of the Internet seems to imply a degree of inevitability and innateness as regards whether one wears clothing of the opposite gender, with varying degrees of control over such things as frequency and extent. I don't think it's necessarily fair to compare the conduct of crossdressing (with its myriad motivations) to a physical dependency like alcohol though.

[daphne_L]

Is there a difference between what motivates eaters to eat and what motivates alcoholics to drink? Are eaters powerless over their eating? . . .

Just because two things share a lot of features doesn't mean they share a lot of other features

[Judy-Somthing]

After I spend time now and then trying to figure out, was I born a cross-dresser or have I chosen to be a cross-dresser.

[Jaylyn]

Drinking, eating, alcoholics ( there is a difference in drinking and alcoholics ) are addicting. The over weight are addicted to eating, the alcoholic is addicted to dreinking. I have power over my cross dressing. Sometimes I'm in a social situation and very seldom have a drink of alcohol. My wife and I since turning older have control over the eating part. Now my point is sometime I feel like a mixed drink with my meal or a beer with my buddies. My eating even though I'm on a diet, when out with another couple we will eat a meal that's not on my diet. My cross dressing is fun, soothing to my temperament, and I enjoy dressing up. I've quit before but it has always came back. Sometimes years and years later. There is no connection I can see in my situation between CD, and alcohol. I nibble at all three from time to time. I can't see an inateness to the three.

[Billy]

There are many similarities.

Binging. Drinkers might only drink on weekends or at set times. Crossdressers might only dress at specific times.

Purging, Drinkers might throw away all their liquor while crossdressers might throw away their supplies.

Sobriety for the drinker. Not dressing for the crossdresser.

Relapse for the drinker based on the inability to stay sober or the inability to not dress by the crossdresser.

Broken families and or relationships. Drinking is the cause of many failed relationships. Does crossdressing cause relationship issues?

[Bobbi46]

Medical research has discovered that we are born like this with varying degrees of femininity/masculinity within ourselves. I have a friend who is a retired(recently) doctor and he categorically states that we do not choose to be what we are but we are born the way we begin and develop into what we become from varying ages. Alcoholics become alcoholics they are not born alcoholic, alcoholism comes about through varying reasons for whatever caused the start of it.
Crossdressing is motivated by the way we developed in the womb and the reason why we dress therefore is because of an inherited want which evolves over a period of time and is not dictated by being told what to do or not to do but something inside us which makes us as we all are
Crossdressing is something that will never go away it is always there, for those that try to push away for whatever reason the desire/need will come back.

[CarlaWestin]

Only people that feel sorry for themselves feel as though they're powerless.
I'm not a victim of anything that I don't choose.

[Karen RHT]

Apples and oranges.


Karen

[CONSUELO]

This is a question for the professionals in the field. Is cross dressing an addiction?

[Allisa]

There is no motivation for an alcoholic to drink it is a need, the motivation is what starts the road to addiction. I know from what I speak, I am a recovering alcoholic and ironically my crossdressing was a part of why I drank(to deny and medicate against).Powerless no, I can if I so chose to, stop dressing as I have done in the past for many years, alcohol and drugs, lets not forget drugs change the brain chemistry and there is a need for them in order to function on a daily basis unlike CDing. We may have an urge to dress but can function very well if not dressed. Yes the "urge" to dress is there almost constantly but when I do dress I'm not starting an addiction again as would be the case if I took just one mouthful of any kind of alcohol. As far as motivation to dress(when not in androgyny my more natural every day mode) since I've accepted my CDing or in my case my fluidity, I'm a more rounded and stable person so that I guess is my motivation to express myself not to hide my self as with alcohol/drugs. Funny how if I'm drunk my behavior is acceptable(look he's drunk again leave him alone) but if I'm dressed it's, look at that a man dressed in woman's clothes he's disgusting, what's wrong with him, just to paraphrase some of what I've heard when out and about. Simple answers, yes, no and yes and no.

[Micki_Finn]

Yes. Alcohol is a physical dependency. No one has ever died going cold turkey from cross dressing. Alcohol withdrawals can be quite fatal. Not even close to the same.

[docrobbysherry]

Billy I agree with u! At least in my case.
Compulsive behavior may all be related. And, I find my dressing to be a compulsion!:straightface:

My family has never had issues with compulsive behavior. My mother, father, sister and I have had no issues with over eating or drinking or drugs, etc. I have never had a problem stopping doing something I felt was unhealthy or disruptive. That is, until I began dressing out of the blue in my 50's! I'm 70+ now and it has pretty well taken over my life. At the expense of my old friends, business, and time that should be spent organising my life, house, garages, and work environments.:sad:

I remain a closet dresser but even my social life revolves around my dressing now!:hugs:

[Tracii G]

Not even close Billy.
It seems people play the victim card and say they are powerless but most of the time they choose not to stop their destructive behavior.
Excessive drink and drugs are a crutch IMO.
Yes I have been down both roads.

[Stephanie47]

I read a long time ago a person who craves chocolate can easily become an alcoholic. It's not so much whether it is chocolate or alcohol. It's the underlying personality flaw which draws a person to become depend upon something to cope. I have friends who experienced the same combat trauma as I have experienced. In some cases my combat trauma experience was worse than theirs. Whatever they did or saw tipped them over to addiction to alcohol or drugs. It was a coping mechanism. A counselor I see for PTSD combat related issues has also indicates another mechanism for coping is "retail therapy" which is also doing something pleasurable to avoid whatever is bothering him or her.

I was a cross dresser long before I was a combat infantryman. I did not indulge in self destructive behavior....the drugs and alcohol. Looking back when the stresses of life mounted I sought solitude in wearing women's clothing. There was relief from the stress. I truly suspect cross dressing or rather my purchases of female clothing has developed into an addiction. Why? Can anybody really explain the necessity for a woman or a cross dresser to have 151 dresses in his or her wardrobe. I do. And, what about the over 450 slips? I must be certifiably nuts. It's retail therapy. The only thing I can say in my defense is I can afford what I buy. Thank the Lord! And, my addiction is not injurious to my health as alcohol, drugs or cigarettes are.

And, for the record, my PTSD counselor has not been told about this 'coping mechanism."

[Gabriella111]

Alcoholism is a physical addiction that may or may not have a genetic component for a given individual. Crossdressing, at least in many cases, is an expression of one's innate identity. In the case of those who dress because they enjoy the way it feels or the like (with no gender dysphoria), perhaps that's more comparable to addiction, if they are somehow suffering negative ramifications in their life because of it. Those are my two cents.

[Edit] To Stephanie's point about the shopping addiction... My CD has hundreds of women's undergarments, though that supports a fetish that is related to but separate from his crossdressing in general. That part of it all does seem like an addiction to me.

[Billy]

Stephanie,
What do you thing would be your counselors recommendations for you if they did know? Is there any reason you have not told them?

[ReineD]

I think it’s a mistake to compare the CDing to alcoholism. Alcoholism is a physical dependence. The CDing isn’t.

But, any behavior that is pleasurable and that is engaged in frequently has the propensity, in some people, to become a need. Not everyone who enjoys a good meal, a drink or other mind-altering substance, exercising, smoking cigarettes or cigars, shopping or acquiring things, gambling, sports or any other hobby, porn, sex, certain types of sex, etc, will reach a point where they establish dependence and the need to do these things is sharply felt. And in the case of alcohol or drugs, a physical dependence is established.

So what causes some people to become dependent on certain behaviors? Multiple factors, including environmental stressors, social pressures, individual personality characteristics, genetic vulnerability for dependence, and psychiatric problems. But which of these factors has the biggest influence in any one person cannot easily be determined.

Having said this, some people are indeed not the gender that matches their body and for them, transition is necessary in order to live a congruent life. Trouble is, Gender Dysphoria has become more palatable than recognizing a dependence on any behavior for people who are not TS, because the solution for Gender Dysphoria no longer involves stopping. And dependence on anything is still considered taboo in our society, even if the behaviors are not self-harmful, although a dependence on some things are not considered harmful and they are readily accepted (i.e. watching television, collecting things to the point of excess, internet or social media use, over-indulgence in sports or other hobbies, etc).

[DIANEF]

Only people that feel sorry for themselves feel as though they're powerless.
I'm not a victim of anything that I don't choose.

Couldn't have put it better myself!

[Amy Lynn3]

Nothing new here, but drinking can be stopped if one sets their mind to it. not sure cding can be stopped after one starts, other than periods of time. :2c:

[Kate Simmons]

Not everyone has the same motivation. :)

[Micki_Finn]

Nothing new here, but drinking can be stopped if one sets their mind to it. not sure cding can be stopped after one starts, other than periods of time. :2c:

Gross mischaracterization. An honest to god alcoholic with physical dependency can DIE if they quit cold turkey.

[Lorileah]

I would say "yes" and this is the most spun question I have seen in a long time Once again I don't see the logic or connection here. Apples and unicorns

[LilSissyStevie]

I think it’s a mistake to compare the CDing to alcoholism. Alcoholism is a physical dependence. The CDing isn’t.

That's not entirely true. Almost any behavior can have a physical dependence component as this short video explains: https://youtu.be/ukFjH9odsXw . It doesn't mention crossdressing explicitly but it could apply to xdressing or even pathological stamp collecting.

The problem with this discussion is comparing one behavior in all its various forms to another behavior in only it's most extreme pathological form. Just like there are all kinds of crossdressers, there are all kinds of drinkers. Even if you only compare the most extreme compulsive forms of crossdressing to alcoholism, there is no equivalence to their destructive power. Nobody dies from crossdressing.

[Micki_Finn]

There is a huge difference biologically between stimulating the rewards centers and replacing a chemical in the body with an artificially introduced substance.

[Maria 60]

It is alittle funny that in my life when I started drinking, smoking weed, as soon as I felt it was controlling me, I would try to control it. The hardest thing was the smoking, it took more then a few tries but it's over 10 years and it still doesn't feel like I beat it.
Something about the dressing, I don't know what it is. I believe I have had some piece of women's clothing since I was 14 years old. I remember when I was 18 and we were moving house, with no choice I had to throw everything out, our house wasn't ready and we had to live with some family. One day after we moved I bought a pair of pantyhose and hide them in my car, and then another pair that I had mixed between my cloths.
The longest strike was when I got married, again I threw everything out and back from our honeymoon a few weeks later I put on my wife's pantyhose , and decided to come out clean to her and she didn't want me wearing hers and she bought me a few pairs that same night and have not been without women's clothes since. I can't let it go, it's unbelievable, I told my wife if she didn't except the dressing we more then likely wouldn't had been married for over thirty years. I will speak for myself, it's in my blood.

[Fiona123]

I stopped drinking about 5 months ago. Before then I was drinking 1/2 to 3/4 bottle of wine per night. Every night. Not a super huge amount but I felt it starting to get out of hand. I miss the wine on occasion when I am down. I dress every damn chance I get though. I think about dressing when I'm not doing it. I could not bear to stop dressing. Purging is out of the question. The initial question was about motivation. I drank because of stress and depression. I dress because of my gender - I think these behaviours come from entirely different places (for me).

[Dana44]

I would say that crossdressing is innate and that alcohol is a dependency, They are not the same thing and as a gender fluid person, I go as male although, MY male and fem self look the same as I have long hair, earrings and shave But as my SO has said, You were in all male clothes and many men have long hair.

[Confucius]

You are making the assumption that crossdressing is basically an addiction, and since alcoholism is an addiction then they must have a common causative link. Well, any way I look at it they don't seem to have any links of any sort.

Crossdressers are not powerless. They can stop. I stopped for 15 years. However, they always find that crossdressing makes them happy.

[BettyMorgan]

I look at it as whether or not it is harmful. Is drinking too much affecting a job, finances, family members or health?
My crossdressing, while I don't let the whole world know what I do, I also know it is not harming anyone, my bank account, or my health. In fact, my health has improved since I've accepted my CDing.

[Lorileah]

So breathing and eating are addictions? :thinking: Once again, what I call weasel words creep into the discussion

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Drinking is inherently harmful; alcoholism is often harmful to whole families.

Crossdressing is inherently harmless, but it can distress people. Only in that respect does it have anything whatsoever in common with alcoholism. One is a compulsion, the other is a dangerous addiction.

I think it's misguided to compare crossdressing with eg smoking, drinking, overeating, drug addiction, etc, etc.

[GretchenM]

Hi Billy,

Are cisgender people addicted to wearing the clothes traditionally and stereotypically associated with their sex? I am not cisgender and in fact have two gender traditional identities that blend together in various ways. I wear the garb associated with how I feel with respect to the flavor of the day that I sense. That is not an addiction even though perhaps to a cisgender person who only has a single identity it may look like an addiction.

I love fine wines. I have glass with dinner every night and enjoy it a great deal. But I don't crave a glass of pinot noir at 2 in the afternoon. Yet to some and in their view I am an alcoholic because I feel dinner without wine is a travesty.

In short, it is a lot more complex than it appears on the surface. Expressing your gender may appear to others to be an addiction because it can be so strong. When the DSRM 5 was being developed on suggestion for the replacement for Gender Identity Disorder was Gender Expression Deprivation Disorder (GEDD). It was a good suggestion based on loads of evidence, but it didn't fly. That said, it was seriously considered. The recommended cure for GEDD is don't deprive the person of their gender expression. Do that and all is suddenly well. The cure for alcoholism is to get the person away from alcohol - permanently. How can you take a person away from expressing their gender identity and still allow them anything that makes sense?

Of course, if CDing is just a hobby like collecting stamps then that is a different matter. But, I am sorry to say, I think that CDing is rarely just a hobby. It is a personal expression that is vital to a persons connection to the world around them. No addiction there.

[sometimes_miss]

Is there a difference between what motivates a crossdresser to dress and what motivates an alcoholic to drink?
Yes.

Are crossdressers powerless over their dressing?
No.

Are alcoholics powerless over alcohol?
No.

Are both innate?
No.
That said, there is a genetic prediliction towards addictive behavior for some people. That doesn't mean we automatically just give in to the desire to do something.


Is there a difference between what motivates eaters to eat and what motivates alcoholics to drink? Are eaters powerless over their eating? . . . Just because two things share a lot of features doesn't mean they share a lot of other features
As one with an eating disorder, I can give you some insight. As someone who is not an alcoholic, unfortunately I cannot tell you what that feels like. However, I have spoken to someone who is: 1. An ex cocaine addict, and 2. runs a rehab for drug addicts.
When we are doing the addictive activity, it actually seems like it's a good idea, even if it's self destructive. For some, it's simply our mind flooding our consciousness with the thoughts of one thing, in order to suppress unpleasant/unacceptable thoughts of something else (which is what makes it seem like a good idea when doing it). In the case of depressants like alcohol, heroine, and the like, I suppose that just helps avoid thinking about whatever it is that's bothering the person even more.

[Scarlett398]

Hi, interesting post I have read for the first time. Both my parents were smokers and alcoholics and I saw the destruction alcohol can have on a loving relationship. It wasn't pretty. As far as smoking, I was blessed. God gifted me with an allergy to tobacco. My first try with chewing tobacco put be in the hospital for a few days and one half of a cigarette made me really sick and I think I changed to about three different colors while trying to survive the try. Drugs - never ever went there because of my desire to play sports and make straight A's in school.
Cross dressing is something I definitely do not see as an addiction. At least not as far as I'm concerned. It's just a strong desire to wear pretty clothes, makeup, boots, tights, ankle booties, wigs, fake breasts, and sexy underwear. An addiction has such a negative connotation to it. I guess it should be applied to alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and the like. I am blessed to be happy, loved, healthy, and extremely comfortable with who I am as a total person - girl or guy. An addiction - not in my opinion! I really fun and desirable and non imposing healthy pastime that I feel I am really good at. Dressing up like a girl is a blast to me. You can tell by looking at the smile on my face in all my photos when I'm dressed as Scarlett! Enjoy it while you can, girls...Have a bunch of fun with it...Sincerely, Scarlett

[Becky Blue]

Just because two unrelated items may have some vague similarities such as purging v going cold turkey does not make them in anyway the same. People are compelled to do many things, but that is very different to an addiction.

[Alisonforme]

Interesting question and argument for addiction.
Makes me wonder why we do anything.
play guitar, draw, paint, sculpt, or do anything you love.
Hunt, camp, fish, boat, kayak.
read, travel.
why do any of it?
need or addiction?

[Alisonforme]

I’ve been thinking about this and decided that while OP addressed ways that dressing and addiction may be related, there are very key ways that they are different for me.

Letting out my fem side is part of my spiritual path. Addiction doesn’t even touch a sentiment like that. Whether I wanted to stop or not (stopping has never occurred to me) I wouldn’t because there is an enlightened path here.
I consider my fem side one of my more enjoyable endeavors. At some point addiction becomes a harsh negative in someone’s life. I’ve been doing this all my life, to one degree or another, and it’s never brought me anything but immense pleasure!

[ShirleyN]

Don't know if there is a connection between the two but it very much would appear to be a complusion or overwhelming need to express one own female self. That's been my own experience.