Trying not to think about it.

[Helen_Highwater]

I've read recent posts about folks getting out for the first time and the excitement felt in the build up to it. Well I have the possibility of being able to spend a little time out and about this coming week. Okay this won't be by any means my first time out but it's also a rare opportunity. The problem is it all depends upon just how the stars align. I need a number of things to happen all at the right time. Sod's law says it'll all go south on me and it'll not be possible.

Hence I'm trying not to think about it too much, stay calm and carry on sort of thing. That way if it doesn't happen I won't be (too) disappointed.

The other thing is, I'll be going out from home. Not something I would normally do. Okay I can wear camouflage clothing, all dressed up minus wig covered by a big coat but it's still a risk. So another reason to stay calm, keep a cool and reasoned head and go with the flow.

[Jenny22]

Thankfully, my recent debutante dinner was at night, and I could exit my home under the cover of darkness. Can you?

[Jaylyn]

Maybe the stars will line up and you'll get your chance. Be sure if they do to get all the bases covered especially if you don't want to be recognized. Under the cover of darkness would be my choice...

[jemima_bates]

Helen,

Your description is exactly how I feel ahead of a possible outing. Like you, it's a rare occurrence - in fact, I've used that very phrase - "stars align" - to sum up what needs to happen for it to happen. This:



I'm trying not to think about it too much, stay calm and carry on sort of thing. That way if it doesn't happen I won't be (too) disappointed.


is the way to be in our situation. It's frustrating though, isn't it? You just want to be able to look ahead, get into the right mindset, but probably best not to in case it doesn't happen. Gah - life!

Jemima x

[Fiona123]

I really hopes it works out for you. Hugs. -Fi

[Dana44]

Helen, I hope that you can do it. Keep us posted and stay calm and don't over think it.

[reb.femme]

Hi Helen,

I haven't been around in a while and just saw your post whilst doing a quick browse.

Going anywhere special? It's always a problem getting out without being seen, but I use a large sports coat over my girlie stuff, if jumping into the car on the drive. If I'm using public transport during daylight hours though, I just get my head down and go. I avoid the neighbours as well as I can, because my wife doesn't want me outed locally, if possible. I'd be out to them tomorrow, if I had my way.

I also suffer with sods law, as I always manage to cut myself shaving if getting my full girl face on, but never when getting ready for work. That's life though.

Have a great time if it all comes together.

Becky

[Micki_Finn]

Know the feeling! Good luck!

[BettyMorgan]

I think we all can relate. OMG, my knees were shaking the first time I left the house. My underground parking spot was five feet from my private entrance. I could swear that everyone on that chilly November evening was watching me as I drove down the street in my car. At every stoplight, people in cars all around me were pointing at me - I could feel it (but they weren't). Had to slow my breathing down before I bolted from my car into the Pride Centre where my first CD Social Club meeting was being held. I left later on, making an excuse why I couldn't join everyone at a local drag show that night after the meeting. Had to pull over on the drive home and question why I ever felt the desire to leave the safety of my home. I hid for another 13 months until my confidence grew.

Now I go out and worry far less about being seen (hell, my fiance doesn't even recognize me out in the wild). I discovered that very few people will glance my way if I am minding my own business and walk with confidence. You will, too, realize that it isn't as bad or scary as our minds make it out to be. When the stars align, it's great. Some days I have to change the odds in my favour to get out but it is often doable. Good luck, Helen! You'll find, like most of us here, that it is worth it to go out and shine.

[Helen_Highwater]

Thanks for all the supportive replies. As for going out after dark the way the stars will align will mean it has to be that way. Daylight doesn't hold any fears for me, been out many times hitting the shops. It's all to do with having other people around at home during the day and only realistically having the house to myself late afternoon onward.

If all goes reasonably well and I get the slap on without too much messing around, I'll probably end up just driving somewhere that I can do a bit of window shopping and a drive through. Not exactly pushing the envelope but hey I'll take that, it's better that sitting in front of the telly of a few hours.

The only thing I need to resolve is, when I go out the front door at night in drab on all but the rarest of occasions do I see someone in the road. Hence logic says, get dressed and just walk the 5 yards to the car door, get in and drive off. Sod's law says one of the neighbours will appear just at that moment so do I play safe and cover up or JGFI? The little devil on my shoulders is whispering JGFI, chicken.

[reb.femme]

Just go for it. I open my front door just a little way, put the key in the external lock, get out, pull door shut, lock and go.

That way you are committed.

Becky

[DIANEF]

Hi Helen. I've been out a number of times and I swear the people in my street take it in turns to be out 'doing something', especially the strange brothers who live directly opposite me. That and the fact my house has CCTV and motion sensor floodlights makes even the 5 yard dash to the car 'interesting'!

[Lana Mae]

Hope it goes(went) well! Did the stars align? Best wishes going forward! Hugs Lana Mae

[Helen_Highwater]

Lana Mae,

I'll let you know in a day or so. The clock starts Monday and runs (hopefully) through to Friday so more chances for things to work themselves out.

[Helen_Highwater]

I posted a little while ago that there was a chance I'd get to dress and get out the house if all the stars aligned. Well they did and while it wasn't exactly pushing the envelope in terms of what I did it was good to get out there for at least an hour or two, 2 evenings on the trot.

What I also did, purely in the interests of science you understand, was to buy off ebay 2 pairs of silicon bum pads. The sort that usually fit in pockets in knickers. Me being me thought I'd go for a different approach and use double sided tapes, the sort you normally use for forms, to attach them to my backside. What I would have liked to do is use Holisters but time wasn't my friend.

The problem I have with my padded knickers is having only one pair, if I want to go out on successive days I have to wash and dry them each night and, thinking of forms and the bounce we all love, I would love to be able to imitate the movements of a GG in the rear department. I also, being the proud owner of some rather pretty pastel coloured lacy knickers, wanted to wear those and not the dull black padded ones.

Well I can report a qualified success. The pads stayed in place with the assistance of a pair of knickers and a pair of tights. Difficult to judge the wobble factor but I was certainly more aware of their presence but that could be because it was a new experience. I do think that there was more of the, "being part of me" that we often report when wearing forms. I did feel I needed more tapes than I used and that an allover gluing using Holisters would add to the experience. Something for another day.

I can say that on the second evening I walked some distance around a quiet residential area, everything stayed in place and I had the curves I like. So job's a good 'un.

Glad to answer any questions.

[Allisa]

Helen I don't know about gluing bum pads, what if you have to use the facilities? I think that might pose an interesting situation.

[HollyGreene]

I have 2 pairs of knickers with pockets to take hip and bottom pads, so thankfully I don't have to resort to tapes or adhesives.
They really make a difference to my shape. I love them. I'd recommend them to anyone.
A word of warning though. If you buy them off ebay as I did, the sizing is usually in Chinese sizes, so whereas I might usually wear something labelled Large (L), I had to go for XXL, and even those are a bit too snug and XXXL might have been more comfortable.
Also I find the ones with silicone pads more convincing than the ones with foam pads.

[AllieSF]

Congratulations on the success of your experiment. Another trick is to wear a tight pair of high waist pantie shapewear with short legs. These will better help keep those pads in place. For using the restroom, once you get your tights down use a side exit pull and then tuck back in when finished. It works wonderfully and I never have to fully lower "all" bottom under garments, which can be quite a task. Practice makes perfect and very workable. Also, the high waist on the compression/shapwear pantie helps prevent that awkward roll down of the top part. If you wear a compression waist cincher over the top, everything stays where it should all night long. Good luck and thanks for sharing.

[docrobbysherry]

I just received yet another feather edged formed foam butt pad in an order from China. It was $4. I could have order it 1/2", 3/4", or 1" thick. They make all other butt pads obsolete. Here's why:

The edges r so thin they don't show thru sheer clothing.

They don't need a pantie to hold them up or compress the edges. They r laminated into thin garter like belts that holds them on and up.

Stays in place better than silicone or pads inside panties.

U can stack one on top of another, (I just stacked 3), because they r molded into a perfect bottom shape with thin edges.

Completely washable. Just hang dry.

But, u don't have to get them from China. Many stores that specialize in lingerie sell these. I see them all the time. $13 in a small store last Sat. Why reinvent the wheel? These work perfectly on men as well as women. Easier to use than other butt pads and cheaper.:D

I just wish someone made foam hip pads for us like this!:straightface:

[lucy_miller]

It's the leaving house conundrum. My only outside dressing is when I'm away with work which isn't often. I am fine with being outside but it's the getting there that's difficult. When the 'stars align' I'm able to dress at home and travel to and check into a hotel and go out for dinner. I don't want to miss the chance to travel en fem but don't want to brazen out the door and meet anyone. My wife is DADT so she doesn't want to have a conversation with a neighbor about the tall woman leaving the house. I prefer to wear dresses or skirts but feel it's often easier to put on a pair of skinny jeans and a nice top under a coat and run out the door without my wig on and find a spot to remove my coat and add my wig a couple of miles from home. One of the deciding factors is if I'm in my car or a hire car. I always assume my neighbors would look to wave at the occupant of a car they know and wouldn't notice otherwise. It's great when you're away but involves lots of looking out the window for clear moments before hand. It would be much easier to just be open with the world but that's not where I find myself.

[Helen_Highwater]

I have 2 pairs of knickers with pockets to take hip and bottom pads, so thankfully I don't have to resort to tapes or adhesives.

Also I find the ones with silicone pads more convincing than the ones with foam pads.

Holly,

I've considered the pocketed knickers as an option but as I say in the OP, I really wanted to be able to wear the off the peg knickers as opposed to something designed to fulfill a practical function. I've a couple of pairs of matching bra/knickers and would like to be able to wear those together especially when I've colour co-ordinated them to whatever I'm wearing. Yep the attaching does add a bit of time but not a great deal and I certainly wouldn't bother if only going out for a short while. Out all day, then it's worth the effort.



Congratulations on the success of your experiment. Another trick is to wear a tight pair of high waist pantie shapewear with short legs. These will better help keep those pads in place. For using the restroom, once you get your tights down use a side exit pull and then tuck back in when finished. It works wonderfully and I never have to fully lower "all" bottom under garments, which can be quite a task. Practice makes perfect and very workable. Also, the high waist on the compression/shapwear pantie helps prevent that awkward roll down of the top part. If you wear a compression waist cincher over the top, everything stays where it should all night long. Good luck and thanks for sharing.

Allie,

Thanks for the tip about the shapers; it's something I already use as they help keep my hip pads in situ. My thinking is if I wear holdups I'll wear the shapers, if tights I won't as they'll perform the necessary support.

If it makes sense I'm trying I suppose to get as close as possible to go out wearing what a GG would. Attached forms, hip and bum pads means in theory what I wear over those is just what a GG would. There's no need for extra "scaffolding" other than a corset of course.

As for the tuck I go for a "permanent" fix.
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?59176-The-Art-of-Tucking-v2-0/page60 #1498

So as the tuck stays in place unaided I can slide knickers etc down and just carry on but it does mean you're constrained to sit to pee. Sliding everything down and back up again takes a bit of practice but hey, isn't that what GG's have to do?