RIP Final Resting Place How to be remembered

[Billy]

What would you want on your grave?

Loving Husband, Father, and Avid Crossdresser

[DIANEF]

Er, I don't want to think about that for a VERY long time!

[lisalove]

I'll be dead, therefore I don't care.

[JeanTG]

I would leave it up to my heirs to decide.

[Ineke Vashon]

A pretty dress covering the headstone.

Ineke

[Marianne S]

I guess I'd need TWO headstones: one for Marianne, one for "the other" me! :D

[Tracii G]

Why would you ask that question?

[Lydianne]

How I'll be remembered is of limited importance to me. Cremation, vacuum cleaner, move on. . . . unless I go before my parents. How they would remember me is important to me. Them finding out about my CDing by clearing out my flat is a scary thought.

So if I'm due to die before them, I would hope it's during a purge, but that's like hoping to catch lightning in a bottle on my way to cashing in my jackpot lotto ticket. This is the only reason the "blue pill" ( or whatever variant thereof ) is attractive to me. Otherwise, nothing else matters to me.

[Lorileah]

OK folks remember this is the CD section, it is for CD themes only

[Ceera]

Mine's actually already been written, because I'm widowed, and my wife and I will share a cremation niche, once it's my turn.

We were married for 30 years. She's interred at a national cemetery, where I am entitled to eventually be laid to rest as a US Navy Veteran. My father (also a navy vet) and my mother share a similar niche, just up the hill from ours. Several other relatives are also interred at that cemetery. So the marble plaque covering our niche already has my name and US Navy rank, and her name and her dates of birth and of death, with the phrase, "Always in our memories" at the bottom. The space left for my birth and death years is blank, and the right dates will be added once I am interred there too.

I accepted my fem side after she passed, so my CD/TG aspect wasn't a consideration at the time. But my wife died when she was only 62, and I am younger than she was. I expect to live for several more decades before it is my time. So I have a potential dilemma. What do I do, if I find a second Partner, of either gender, before I pass? Especially if I somehow manage to find someone who wants to marry me with full support of my fem aspect, and I transition fully? I've come to the conclusion that if I do remarry, it would only be proper to split my ashes, interring half with my first wife, and the other half with my second spouse. So there is some small chance that my fem side might end up with her own separate burial and epitath!

[Lily Catherine]

Should I die within the next few hours, definitely a lily on my headstone. I know in that scenario I am extremely likely to be buried as James by both priest and parent. No matter what my epitaph may read, I know I soon will be forgotten, and so be it. As much as I would rather respect the wishes of orher dead people, I can't care about my own.

[Julie MA]

Billy, as soon as I read this thread title I knew it was one of yours.😉 Too many parts of me to list on a stone. And I'm not wasting any land on that anyway. If I did, I guess the next question is "what to wear down there?" Julue

[Pat]

Billy, as soon as I read this thread title I knew it was one of yours.��

Billy does have a signature style....

I've often said when I die I do not want a grave; do not want a marker; do not want a memorial of any kind. I just want to reside for a while in the memories of those who knew me and then be released. Digging a little deeper I realize I've spent a lifetime either being judged or justifying myself. When I'm dead, I want to be free of that. It doesn't matter that I was a crossdresser (note required content) or a veteran or a Dad nor even the time and manner of my death -- I'll be done with the Universe and I'm hoping it will be done with me. ;)

[Barbara Black]

I don't believe in any of that 'ritual of rememberance' stuff. I want no stones, graves, or even an urn. However... I like the idea of having a stone with a dress pulled over it, changed when the weather takes it apart. It was something I used to do to a garden marker my mother gave us. I changed it every once in a while with old Firefighting station wear. Somehow there was a little CD connection there that I didn't realize until now.

[s.e.al]

My resting place will be in the hearts that I have touched while here if I have enough then I will rest in piece😊

[cdinmd206]

I want my headstone to read:

Some of it was magic
Some of it was tragic
But I had a good life
All along the way

From Jimmy Buffett's song He Went To Paris

[Helen_Highwater]

Ok I'll play.

How about;

Could really put an outfit together
or
Drifting in the eternity of the pink fog
or
Yep, that's me in those pictures!
or
Heel never walk alone

And then of course there's the last requests in the will. I can just hear my daughters asking, "Why did dad want us to carry his ashes around in our handbags?"

[TrishaTX]

I agree once dead I do not care...but I'd like a half and half headstone if I have to answer...

[docrobbysherry]

I'll die. But, I have a feeling Sherry will live on for some time after me----

[Maria Blackwood]

A countdown timer.

[Julie Gaum]

Have heard "When I'm dead I no longer care" often and wonder how honest is that response to one's self? Maybe it's your opinion here and now, maybe. Do you have close or distant family, wife, gf., children, business associates or church acquaintances who might just wish to attend your funeral? An executor who is charged (or should be) with disposing of your assets including closets of female clothing but have no clue of your secret inclinations? My guess is that most of the respondents do not as yet have deep roots to consider the consequences of their demise.
Then there are the comments that "it's too soon to consider". Consider these exit doors: Instant death --- can happen to you tomorrow --- do you have a will? Will you be buried or cremated --- who knows? Perhaps dressed in your finest regalia in a closed casket? There is the impending doom door when you encounter a terminal illness. Or, perhaps, you have a heart condition that couldmean many years left for your CD persona. Your wife might decide to ditch the house and opt for "senior living". Ready to give up the little secret you both have had all these years? Maybe you are alone and need to leave the security of your current apartment or home to enter an "assisted living" facility. Now you might have a single bedroom and a shared bathroom. Ready for that eventuality?
The Forum rules now prevent me to refer you to many pages of blogs I've written on this subject but suffice to say that the couple of sentence response by so many will not cut it. Wish I could be more encouraging.
Julie
Oh yes --- will be 92 in a few months and live alone. Yes, I have prepared as much as possible for my departure will be soon enough.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Julie Gaum, :love:, You are a real inspiration to all of us.

Bill, I once showed my wife the sequin black dress that I wanted to be laid out in and she said, "OVER MY DEAD BODY"...:daydreaming:...

[Georgette_USA]

I'm sorry but being an Atheist I really don't care.

Have NO SO, NO children or heirs, want cremation cheaper then burial (still could have funeral). Do have many family but told them to not to bother with anything. After cremation dump the ashes wherever. I don't care what happens to my house or contents.

[Meghan4now]

I would like pepperoni and sausage...... oh, the question WASN'T what do I want on my tombstone? (for those of you not from the states, there was this ad campaign for a cheep frozen pizza, and.....)

And Georgette, I an NOT an athiest, but I don't care either. Hopefully my decedent's have better things to do than mope around a graveyard.

[ClosetED]

Billy, a very different question, trying, I think, to get at what we want society (or the subset who will see headstone) to think about us when we could not be hurt by their thoughts/actions. Therefore, this is CD related.

For those who want their secret to remain that way, likely nothing regarding it. To those who are already out to family and public, they will assess how much of their life was taken by this aspect. One mentioned something like 0.02 %. To someone who was not known to many, may chose to have their femme name mentioned.

Hopefully, by the time I do die, my kids will know (wife claims they do already)
Maybe "Loving Husband and Father. Ellen brought him joy"
Or "Loving Husband and Father. Handsome and pretty"

Hugs, Ellen

[NicoleScott]

"Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental
Seem for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle"

From Phantom of the Opera, Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

I remember others and I will be remembered, for good or bad, by life, not monuments after death.

My parents chose their final resting place and bought it and prepaid funeral arrangements long before they bought the farm. That relieved the emotional and financial burden from others. They died eight years apart, and everything went as planned both times. I remember them by their lives, not by markers in the military section of a cemetery fsr away.

My wishes are to not burden my family financially or emotionally. For me, scattered ashes does it. Others see a different way for themselves.

My wife has instructions to discretely dispose of all my crossdressing things.

[Cheryl T]

Not going to have one so that doesn't apply.

[Maria Blackwood]

Actually, when I hit 60, the plan is to start aging backward,

That's the plan. Yup.

There's some details to work out yet.

[Pat]

I may have worked out some of the details for you -- after entering my 60's I'm not sure my age changed, but I started my second puberty... ;) (HRT)