A shocker

[deebra]

Yesterday I went to an upscale three tier mall around 10:30 AM to walk in my new boots and get in a little CD time in public. I was neatly dressed in guy mood and wearing black not to tight girl jeans and black swead three inch heel boots under my pants. And I do walk fine in boots. Before I left home the mirror said I looked nice and passable and the boots blended well with the jeans. Upon entering the mall the mall copy stared at my boots and I knew he knew. A hundred feet later I passed another mall cop and he also did a double take at me in girl boots. While standing at the rail looking down a thirty year old woman walked up to within four feet of me, deliberately stopped and stared at my boots and then gave me an eyeball to eyeball stair. During the thirty minutes I was walking the mall probably half of the people I passed looked at my boots and then at me. I still don't get it, I know the mall wasn't crowded that time of the morning so it was easy to notice me without crowds of people around me but I was shocked to such a reaction. What happened to people caught up in their own thing, they don't notice, acceptance is starting. Now I'm wondering do I take my boots out of the house?

I did go in a PayLess and try on some pumps, the S.A. acted just like I was just another customer. So where are we; REALLY????

[Anne K]

I think this is a decision point: do you want to fly under the radar or not? In this incident, you were a guy wearing woman's boots. Simple as that. If you were in gal mode, I suspect you would have not gotten the same reaction because society seems to be more accepting of TG individuals. It's a complex world, isn't it?

[ronda]

we are where we are people always will have different views of us some except others don't I take it that no one said anything or screamed hey everybody here is a crossdresser they just looked and moved on you do the same but do not stop wearing your boots glad to hear you were out and about

[Rachael Leigh]

I'm going to agree with Joyce, I do think the level of acceptance is more toward being dressed en fem then a guy in girls
clothes. I know it sounds silly but it seems easier for them to accept you if your looking more like a women than a man.
I think that acceptance of just being guys in traditional girls things is a bit longer off for acceptance

[LelaK]

Online, there seems to be some backlash resentment of TGs, I guess for seeming to be too demanding. Maybe your experience was not related to that, but I like to be cautious and only CD around people I expect to be accepting. However, I encourage CDs to do as they like, since going public, or semi-public, may be helpful too.

[Majella St Gerard]

I used to get a lot of attention when I would go out in male mode wearing women's clothes, you just stand out more. Now that I have been going out fully en femme I don't get the same reaction. I believe I casually passand blend in. Anything out if the ordinary will attract attention. IMHO.

[sharonsdream]

It might have been the heels. I have worn wesr

- - - Updated - - -

It might have been the heels. I have worn shorty boots with a western heel and no one has paid attention. I forgot to change to my work boots at one store and worked for over two hours and no one noticed. Had on girl levis and sweatshirt as well as being underdressed, no forms.

[Sallee]

I would love to see a pic of the boots and how visible they were. I think the comments are right on has far as seeing something out of the ordinary that is what catches the eye. Until that type of presentation becomes more visible it will continue to catch looks

[AllieSF]

Yes, what type of boots? If they were skinny heels, that is obviously more obvious. However, black chunky heels may go less noticed while out. As others have said, your attitude is what really matters. If you are sensitive to being noticed then you need to to work on getting a thicker skin or stop going out with some obvious feminine attire. If you do not really care, than enjoy. The more you go out, the less that you will care. More experience does wonders for confidence and attitude.

[Lana Mae]

Deebra, Joe Cool walking down the street spies 3" heeled boots on a male(I assume they were skinny heels) and does a double take(stares, maybe). This is a common reaction to anything, ie. blue hair or nail polish in bright colors on a male! It is not an every day thing for Joe Cool to see so he double takes or stares for a few seconds! This is nothing on you! Take it in stride and go on. Joe Cool will and not remember tomorrow! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stephanie Julianna]

Wearing heels in male mode is going to get attention. Period. I have to assume the heels click on the floor as well. Men's shoes never make that sound. I exclusively wear women's shoes now whether in drab or glam. However, I only wear heels when I'm in girl mode. All my 'male shoes' are low heels with the a gender-less look if you don't look to close at the side zippers or the fact that some don't cover the instep. After years of frustration trying to find shoes my size in the men's department (6 1/2) I started looking in the ladies section and low and behold there was an abundance of styles and colors that went well with my male wardrobe in my size, women's 8 1/2. So I get my thrills wearing women's shoe almost all the time. And when they put a sale price on women's shoes they don't mess around. I regularly get shoes 75% off the original price. It's your call but I'd go with the flats in male mode unless you really want the attention.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
If you were dressed but in male mode assuming you mean no wig or makeup and were wearing boots with 3" heels what do you expect ? Were the boots knee high over the jeans or ankle boots inside the jeans , even so you were bound to get the looks you describe !

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe it wasn't the boots? I wear women's 3 1/2" heel boots regularly. However, other than the heel, only women mite pick up on them not being men's. And, there's absolutely NOTHING else fem about my appearance. No one except my daughter have ever given me a second glance. Never mind a fish eye or remark.:straightface:

Maybe u have some other obvious tells?:daydreaming:

[Rhonda Jean]

I frequently wear high heel boots in male mode with boot cut jeans. Some narrow, some chunky, mostly about 3-1/2". To me, they're almost unnoticeable. Almost every time I wear them, a lot of people obviously do notice. Even very young children stare! I don't remember detecting negativity in their reaction. It's just enough of a surprise that they can't help buy stare a bit. I had one woman tell me "I love those boots!", but other than that nobody has ever said anything about them.

For the past year or two I've tended to get my crossdressing fix in frequent small doses instead of going all out less frequently. I still go all out, but more often I'm doing little things in (more or less) male mode. I know it may make me sound a little "less authentic", whatever that is, but sometimes I like the kind of reaction that tends to garner. It's fun to me, and sometimes that's enough of a reason to do it!

As an example... Last weekend a friend and I stopped in a restaurant bar for an afternoon cocktail. My clothes all came from the men's department, but tended a bit toward feminine. As I often do, I was wearing nail polish and carrying a purse. As we were leaving we walked past a booth with two women. One of them was staring, but trying to be less than obvious about it. As we passed I could hear her humming "Ummmmm, Ummm". I took that to be a signal to her friend, as if to say, "Whoa! Would you look at that!" That just make me smile! I've been a dyed-in-the-wool crossdresser for over 40 years. I've done it all, just about. Maybe I'm weird, but this is where I am with it right now. I've been through any number of phases, and I may be out of this one and into something else in a month, but right now any mixture of girl things with boy things is kinda my thing. It's just fun!

[Helen_Highwater]

Deebra,

I will concur with all those who point out that the wearing of a single item of femme clothing albeit heeled boots, bra with forms, a wig, is going to attract looks. It's neither fish nor fowl in the eyes of an observer. You present them with an oddity. Something out of the ordinary. Fully dressed you present as something while not fully accepted, is at least something they can hang a label on, something they understand.

Ask yourself this question. How many other males have you seen doing what you do? Answer, probably none. Hence you stick out. Hence you draw attention. By all means carry on doing what you're doing but be prepared to get those stares. You'll either need to own it and/or live with it.

[Kelly DeWinter]

ROFL 3 inch heels and you are surprised half the mall noticed ? I'd be more surprised if it's NOT posted on youtube.

[MelanieAnne]

Before I left home the mirror said I looked nice and passable and the boots blended well with the jeans.

Never trust a mirror. Your brain sees what it wants to see.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deebra:hugs:, I suspect that the sound of the heels will draw as much attention as a flashing RED light...:daydreaming:...

[Princess Chantal]

What happened to people caught up in their own thing, they don't notice, acceptance is starting.
?
Don't put much weight on the advice spewed on this forum in which is totally based on assumptions........

[Tracii G]

OK you were in guy mode according to your post yet you say passable. Passable as a guy I'm assuming?. I'm confused here what was your intent?
I wear womens boots during the winter all the time and some have 3 in tapered heels and one pair is more of a spiked heel and while the do make a different noise than guy boots they are not at all unlike the sound of cowboy boots on a tile floor.
I think you are either trying to be noticed then feel paranoid if the look at you.
Again what is your intent?

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Of course if you were a rock star wearing 3" women's boots they'd have asked for selfies with you.

[ReineD]

How high were your heels? And was it just the boots and jeans you were wearing from the women's department, or did you have on makeup, jewelry, or other female garments?

Also, you mustn't assume that the people staring were judging you negatively. Maybe they were simply puzzled, trying to figure you out. Most people don't care one way or the other how you dress, precisely because they don't know you and you have no impact on their lives. But, a lot of people do like to make sense of what they see.



I did go in a PayLess and try on some pumps, the S.A. acted just like I was just another customer. So where are we; REALLY????

This is proof that SAs know better than to give they impression they notice something different. If they did, they'd lose sales.

[Lisa85]

I'm guessing you're fairly young and haven't been out in the world much.

It seems strange, but here's the order people instantly appraise others:

1- body mass. Male|female. Potential physical threat or safe

2- chest. flat or non-flat

3- foot coverings. This is strange to be so high in the list, I used to assume people never noticed footware, but for some unknown reason it is really apparent.

Go search for men's footware, there are only two mainstream male footwear with heels:

a- cowboy boots, with wide heels and one to 1.5 inch heel height
b- cuban heels short boots with two inch heels

So what will people notice?
1- heels twice normal height
2- different sounds which walking on hard surface, might as well walk around with spinning propeller beanie
3- different posture as walk different in heels than flats
4- pants calling attention to boots, not normal baggy male pants but female pants. they are narrower, even if not leggings, they are at least twice as snug as male pants

What is amazing is that not everyone stared.

I was just looking at a nice pair of short boots with unisex toe and sides, but because of above could not imagine a scenario where I could pull off 3 inch heels in male mode, even with boot pants partically covering the boots. Decided to just go with stillettos or wedges in female mode.

[deebra]

First of all thank all of you for your opinions, we have some really smart CD's here plus a GG who's opinion I appreciate. I would love to post a pic of the boots but I don't know how, have got to learn that. The boot cut girl jeans were on the outside and the heel measured three and one quarter inch with a heel tapering to seven eights of an inch. One reason I like them is the female shape of the boot is much steeper than a cowboy boot and it makes my size eleven look much smaller and I really do love walking in them, lower heels just don't feel like a woman. I do walk fluid like a woman and I if I want to I can walk quietly on a mall floor. The jeans were purposely bought in "long" so they covered most of the boot but when walking all of the heel was visible. My thoughts were black on black was less noticeable so why shouldn't wearing just one female piece ( the jeans were andro) of clothing passed as has been said on this forum before. That was my thought before I left home. Now let me say I also wear black ankle boots with a three inch tapered heel down to one and one half inches and they pass, never had a problem???????? but they don't feel as feminine as the suede boots.

[Pat]

Just a minority opinion -- you may have entered the mall feeling hyper-vigilant and so you were sensitive to being noticed and added your interpretation to people looking at you. It may well be that at another time you'd have not paid any attention to those reactions.

[Stephanie47]

I'm going to agree with those who have suggested the boots may have made a clicking sound as you walked. Hard heel? And, if the mall was relatively empty there would be less sounds to mingle with the sound of your boots. My attention has been drawn to many women and men who wear boots and high heels on a concrete/tile floor.

[delabole]

Do heels give you more wiggle as you walk? Answer may be obvious, but I'm a newbie! I'd like to be more flowing as I walk, but think that heels would be hard on my feet.

[Taylor186]

Delabole, if you're inexperienced in heels you'll get an unpleasant wiggle, that you don't want. That said there is no need for heels to walk in a flowing motion. Plenty of YouTube videos on the subject.

Regarding the OP I too think it was the sound, or you are not as good walking in heels as you think you are. Contrary to what someone said earlier, I've read that men generally don't look at other men's shoes. That is certainly true for me. So if the mall cop's were men then you were drawing unwanted attention to your shoes in some way.

[Beverley Sims]

Dressed as a girl fully you may have passed, but being half dressed you would have looked like an oddity.

Next time dress up and wear long hair and makeup to suit.

[sweetdreams]

Locally one of the charities has a once a year "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes" event. The idea is guys put on a pair of heels and walk a mile to raise donations for a good cause.

I started thinking about this and one idea I had was to organize some members of the local cross dressers group and maybe 5 or 6 of us could make an evening of it. Dressed in drab but wearing heels. If anyone questioned it we could just say we are going the extra mile and raising more money. We could go to a local bar and maybe expand a few minds (guys wearing heels isn't a big deal).

It also started getting me thinking about how big of a deal guys in heels really is. Maybe I was in a bit of a pink fog but I started thinking maybe it really isn't a big deal. It's fairly out of sight. If you don't want to see it, don't look. It's not in your face like someone who is fully dressed. Based on the comments in this thread I'm rethinking this. I liked the comment about the brain trying to resolve what it is seeing. Someone fully dressed with heels is to be expected, but a man wearing heels - the brain does a double take and says huh?

[Becky Blue]

I agree with the bulk of the posters, but also find myself agreeing with aka Jennie, perhaps the stare you got from the first guard put you more in edge?