it's been over a year

[kinkyboots]

It's been over a year since my last dressing. I hurt my wife's feelings last year by only thinking of myself, went and spent lots of money on myself for new clothes without talking to her first. It was a bad time.
at the same time i was watching Orange is the new black season one. There was that one episode were the wife is begging her husband not to permanently transition into being a woman.now I've never even entertained anything like that, but the hurt in her eyes was the same as my wife's that night. It was devastating.
i tossed most everything out and told her so, she was also upset about that thinking I'll go off the deep end again do a massive purchase next time I'm supper stressing.
so far I've been solid, I've had some weak moments drifting in thought, but i just think of two things; the look she gave me that night and the fact i look like an harry ape in a dress.
btw. I've taken up sewing women's clothes in steampumk or other styles from my own designs and selling them on our Etsy shop, nothing that would fit me. It seems to be taking the edge off for now. Best part is the wife is cool with this.

[franlee]

Never purge because you have not only wasted those expensive clothes and stuff but you will eventually have to replace them or live in misery. Just pack them away somewhere that they are not in her face and let time heal those wounds.

[Lydianne]

Hi Kinkyboots,

I'm sorry to hear that things became difficult between you and your SO, but I'm pleased to hear that you managed to realise it in time and are working through it. Making retail-worthy clothing is certainly impressive, and I'm happy for you that your SO supports it.

But I wanted to make a different comment. Even without seeing you, I think you might have been a bit harsh on yourself with your comments about how you look when dressed. Two quick comments from a completely neutral standpoint:

1. I think ( well, at least for me ) dressing is not all about aesthetics. The clothing also works on an emotional level, and in my case, first. You probably already know this from the first time you dressed, and hence, why you continued afterwards. In my case, dressing was with me for over 15 years before I even thought of attempting make up.

2. If one has a lot of body hair and the aesthetics are important to oneself, the hair can be shaved, waxed or removed. That is not a problem.

But as I said, those are neutral comments. If your thoughts are a part of the willpower, then one has to do whatever works. I just thought it might have been a little harsh because of (1).

I hope everything works out for you and your SO in the future.

[Maria 60]

WOW! Sounds like your a very strong minded person, I found it easier to surpress the urges of quitting smoking then those of dressing. Sounds like to me the love for your wife over rules, good for you decide what's important in your life and fight back the urges. You should be very proud of yourself and I'm sure your wife knows deep in her heart what you are doing for her.

[kinkyboots]

Sorry hair is not optional in this relationship, and I'm built like a lumberjack. Looking in the mirror destroys any fantasies in my head.
For now I'm just going to concentrate on what is possible in my life. I didn't say i tossed everything i kept a few pair of panties and a cami that i can wear under my clothes when home. *the wife likes how the panties "present" me.