For those in DADT

[CarlaWestin]

Like me. What's the fantasy change of heart scenario? Here's mine.

"So, I was actually looking through the wardrobe in your closet and I've decided, if it makes you happy, I want you to be dressed as my housekeeper every Saturday morning greeting me with coffee. And on Sunday, you'll be dressed in the outfit of my choice and doing what I want, even if that means going out shopping."

[HollyGreene]

That wouldn't do it for me - I'm not into the domination thing.

I think mine would be very simple...
Christmas morning. Opening gifts. The last one I open is a nice set of matching bra and panties in my size. If she also put in the same set of underwear in her size too, that would be a bonus because I dream about us wearing matching underwear.

(Would never want to wear matching outerwear though)

[Swimtran]

I'm with you, HollyGreene. That was exactly my Christmas wish! I would take it further to fooling around in our matching (or even not matching) lingerie.

[Helen 2]

Thought-provoking post/idea. I think mine would be my better half saying 'honey, that red dress in your closet (the one in my avatar pic).... can I borrow it next weekend for an evening out with X and Y? I like how it looks on the hanger and would really like to try it on and borrow it if it fits' -which is should since were generally the same dress size.
I think it would open up so many possible avenues...

[Fiona123]

I would do the housekeeper thing in a heartbeat. As for going out dressed, only if I could pass.

[Antron III]

I already to house chores in a frock but make sure to change before my wife gets home. (No wig or make up, just a dress of some sort and usually barefoot.) The fantasy would be to not have to change when I greet her and have it be no big deal. The "accepting" desire is her coming home saying; "Found this sundress at the thrift and thought you'd like it. Let's see how it looks."

[JeanTG]

I guess buying me a nice nightgown for my birthday then saying "try it on for me"!

And letting me hang my clothes in our walk-in closet, and allowing my bras into my panty drawer, etc. One step at a time... I wouldn't expect massive instant acceptance, but would be thrilled if she allowed things to advance incrementally at a pace she can adapt to. She has grown in acceptance with regards to panties. We've gone from plain black or white to allowing pinks, reds and other sexy colours, and lace. I think nightgowns and perhaps camisoles would be the next logical advance.

[Meghan4now]

"You know, I've been reading, and I think I am ready to discuss this a bit more. I would like to know how you feel, not just what you are planning on doing. And don't worry, I want to hear you, and promise to not try and shut you down, shut you up, or shut you off. I will try to listen first and not be judgemental. I love you. And by the way, I looked at some of your photos again, and you are kind of of cute."

And when I am done spilling my guts. "Wow, I really didn't know. I get that, and I love you. Maybe we could go out and I can get to know the Meghan part of you better. But she better be fun!"

My fantasy.

[phili]

For my wife to smile warmly, because she feels safe and good and likes being with genderfluid me

[Teresa]

Carla,
I love dressing for the domestic side but would prefer to share it with a woman, to be accepted as a companion and a love to her.

[PamelaRI]

While some of my clothes are out in the open, they are the ones that aren't overtly feminine if you don' t think too much about them. My current thought on the DADT change of heart scenario would be my SO saying, "you can put your panties and other lingerie in your dresser drawers."

[JenniferR771]

Carla, I see your point. I would love a tiny bit more acceptance, like, "Honey I found this cute dress on sale last week; see if it fits! If not I am getting you a corset. I also got you some new pantyhose. Shave your legs--lets see how they look together. And I want the floors vacuumed in the whole house before I get back. Wear your heels--you need the practice."
Sigh--if only.

[Territx]

Love your post CarlaWestin. While I might go with the scene you suggest, my wish would be a little more conservative and attainable because I would like just some basic acceptance. I admit that it is not as much fun as yours though.

[happy2cd]

I like the Christmas scenario. My wife has known for years-hates it-an every time there is gifting, I hope for that special gift that throws the door open. Matching anything would be awesome.

[Becky Blue]

Im not really in a DADT, as my wife knows very little, but my fantasy with regards to my wife would be "Honey I think i know what you are, put this outfit I have laid out for you on."

[IleneD]

My fantasy "Change of Heart Scenario"?

"Ilene, dear. Would you like to go out this evening? (as Ilene)".
Amazing.

Right now, I'd settle with "Here, let me help you with your make up."

[Meghan4now]

Ilene,

That pretty much sums it up. Well, except she is good with hair, and I'm better with make up, but just because I need to be, and she has this thing where she can't close one eye and keep the other open.

[Scarlett398]

Bec, that scenario would be a dream come true, but for me, one more addition to your quoted sentence and that would be - "now go ahead and put the outfit on and I'll put my outfit on and we'll light a couple of candles and get in bed and let's make love while working around the clothes!" How about that for a fantasy!
Sincerely, Scarlett

[Sallee]

Good question I guess my is more simple. I presently have a dressing/locker room where I stash sallee and go to it pretty much at will. I like it that way. What I would like would be to say I am going out with the girls tonight I'll be home latter, not going to a poker party or some other bs. Just being open would be good. Of course if I start to fantasize who knows where it would lead :daydreaming:

[DIANEF]

Think I'm with Bec and Scarlet on this one, apart form being dressed in the bedroom.

[Scarlett398]

I love that fantasy, Meghan! I have the very same one! I doubt it will ever happen but I would love to go out with my wife while I'm dressed as cute, pretty, sexy Scarlett. I'm sure we would almost be wearing the same type of outfit because I have helped her pick out most of her entire wardrobe. I have always helped her with picking out her clothes, boots, booties, heels, wedges, tights, and even makeup. I have paid for most of these things as well. She has always respected and asked for my opinion when she pulls something off of the rack or off of a shelf. She knows I have a keen sense of style when it comes to both men's and women's clothing. I don't force my fashion sense on her. She always asks me if something is right for her look.

Meghan, you may have seen where I have said in a recent post where my wife, at her very last big Christmas party at work, was given the "Top Fashionista Award" for best dressed girl in the entire facility where there are a total of about 65 people. She's the director of the place and when she received the award she told the entire group - "My fashionista husband is gonna be thrilled when I come home with this award because he's the one who helps me pick out all of my outfits from top to bottom and I am always asking for his advice when it comes to picking out my clothes, shoes, and boots. He has also bought most of them for me as well! I am a very lucky and spoiled girl and love my husband so much. Of course, she's been there for almost 30 years and most of the girls in the office already new this about her.
However, Meghan, as you well know, she has just recently accepted my fun cross dressing hobby and is OK with it as long as I keep it private and don't do it while she's home. Hopefully she'll lighten up with the cross dressing privacy rules over time, but if she doesn't, it won't diminish in anyway our total love for each other. I love and respect her and will always respect her wishes when it comes to my cross dressing limits. I'm not going to press the issue. But I will always have the fantasy of going out on a date with my sexy wife with me dressed up as sexy little Scarlett!

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks, Diane, I'm glad you're on board with Bec and me on this one. And it's just fine if you don't want to take it to bed under candle light. That's just always been one of my extreme fantasies!....Scarlett

- - - Updated - - -

Helen, you do look absolutely adorable in your Avatar photo. The whole look and outfit is cute as a button! I'm sending you a friend request in a minute. Our look in femme is very similar!....Sincerely Scarlett

[Diversity]

My fantasy has become a reality over the last several months. Four years ago it was a strictly DADT, relationship. Then it progressed to me wearing pantries full time. This was followed by my wife buying me a cotton nightgown to wear to bed every night. Now, over these last several months, I am able to wake up and change into panties and a skirt and leggings (which she bought for me to try), and a bra and blouse. We are retired and as such we watch the sun come up and cook together and enjoy long relaxing breakfasts! Earlier this week, my told me she still doesn't really like me dressing, but feels she shouldn't tell me what to wear as long as I am not out in public like this. Then, just yesterday, I told her that I often wear a bra under my shirt when we go out. She said as long as she can't see it, it's alright, but that I need to be careful as we may meet people we know.
So, my fantasy of breaking out of the DADT scenario has been slowly evolving over time. There may be similar hope for all of you in a DADT relationship. I am feeling so much more freedom, than I ever thought would be possible. I wish you all well!
Di

[Julie1123]

I'm also in the her buying me and surprising me with an article of clothing boat.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Carla, Thanks for asking, sounds fun. My fantasy would be to have my wife say "I was out shopping and saw this outfit, it seemed to be something you would like." Simple and straight forward. Thanks again, Brenda

[Stephanie47]

I'm in a DADT marriage. In the beginning of our marriage we did dabble with lingerie in the bedroom scene; floor length nylon gowns, peignoirs, hosiery/garter belts. She did not consider that as being cross dressing. It was more in the realm of a fetish. As things progressed she became uncomfortable with my feminine clothing which was still nylon based slips and lingerie. The Vanity Fair red bra and "the talk" ended our mutual interest. Once we did go to Mervyn's department store to buy me some panties. It was a very painful experience for her. I decided to stop any attempt or nudging her to be more accepting. She has no idea the amount of clothing I have amassed.

I don't know about a fantasy. Some can get to be pretty wild. As a retiree with my wife still working (off now for breast cancer treatments) I routinely do the domestic chores and meal preparation totally en femme. It would be really nice to be able to remain totally en femme when she gets home from work. A nice pat on the butt would be nice. Short of that just a gift of some new nylon panties would at least be an acknowledgment of my cross dressing desires. One of the things about a true DADT marriage with absolutely zero comments or discussion is the absolute pain it causes. Sometimes I wish she would just explode.

[JaytoJillian]

My fantasy is simple:

She: I've met a billionaire with whom I'm running away.

Me: See yah!

[shellybme]

My fantasy would is to be home, while my wife is at work, cleaning in a french maids outfit. Completely done up with make up and wig. I would dust, vacuum and clean everything. Then before my wife would get home, I would prepare her a nice vodka dirty martini and have it ready for her. I would greet her at the door, curtsy and take all her bags and coat. Hand her drink and ask her about her day and just listen to everything she has to say. After that I would excuse myself and take a shower and be back to regular old me. She gets a maid, a clean house, a friend to have listen and her husband back after the shower. And I get to be girly and sexy while pleasing my wife.

[sharonsdream]

We have been married nearly 50 years. I tried wearing her panties a few weeks after we married. She blew up.
It was on and off for most of our marriage for 45 years. I started having having trouble with my legs and my Dr suggested pantyhose right in front of my wife.
After a few weeks of pantyhose I U suggestedsuggested I wear panties with them as noone would see.
I had to be on the road for about a month. I under dressed every day including a bra then fully dressed to check in at the hotel and dinner. I also bought 3 pair of girl jeans which I wore to work.
Back home I have worn my girl jeans for the last 6 weeks every day and nobody has said a word. My only complaint is the pockets aren't deep enough. I have suggested going out for dinner dressed with no response explaining how I had accepted her stripping for my friends the first 20 years of our marriage. Hopefully dinner happens this year. I have everything I need.

[Bluesman]

Well, today happens to be my birthday. I would have loved it if when I went to the bedroom to get dressed I found a brand new outfit, panties, bra, dress, shoes laid out on the bed and a card saying "Happy Birthday, now get dressed for the rest of your day!" The reality is, she went out to a class for an hour, I dressed for a while, and have now changed back to male mode awaiting her return. Oh well...

[Jenny22]

H b d !!

[Meghan4now]

My fantasy is simple:

She: I've met a billionaire with whom I'm running away.

Me: See yah!
Jillian,

That is so sad. Is it really that bad? What are you waiting for?

[TrishaLake]

For me full acceptance around the house, including in the bedroom. If your asking that is what I am answering lol..I just need to be Trisha once in awhile...

[Shely]

I have been married for 40+ years to the same woman and have no intention of risking that relationship. We DADT and it is sad indeed that there is such a large portion of my life that we can't share. She has on ocasion bought me things, rarely though. She says if she doesn't see it it is okay. I would be great if one day she said go get dressed in something red nd sexy. Probably won't happen.:sad:

[IleneD]

Ilene,

That pretty much sums it up. Well, except she is good with hair, and I'm better with make up, but just because I need to be, and she has this thing where she can't close one eye and keep the other open.

Thanks Meghan.
My DADT is kind of mixed, with limits (of course), forbearance and growing still. Last evening, after a day out together, I donned my long blue dress (a spring gown of sorts), a nice slip and hung out with the Wife [as usual]. Head scarf (no wig). No make up except pink lipstick. Painted toenails. Very casual. Had dinner together. Not a problem nor a weird glance from her. I think she's adapting.
I wear panties every day so she sees those in the laundry. And she's seen nearly my entire wardrobe (openly in the closet) but she's not see much of it "on" me. Full time earrings. I often "blend"; wearing skinny jeans in male mode with a girl cowl-neck sweater, for example.
What my Wife (bless her soul) doesn't wish to see (as I gather) is "the full monty" - Ilene in makeup, wig, stockings, heels, dress... the full persona. As we are still only about 7 months past my "coming out", and the strict conservative Catholic girl in her is still coming to grips with a husband (who went from fighter pilot to Ilene, in her mind)...... I think we are doing great. I'm doing great. I have plenty of room in the relationship to dress, under-dress and often over dress (in skirts, dresses) right now. It meets the need to feed my inner girl (and still she is hungry!).

I'd like to grow to the point where I am dressing around the house more. Maybe slowly increase the femininity of my everyday wear. I'm dying for days "home alone" when the wife travels and I have more freedom to don the entire ensemble. She knows what I'm doing (except for some of the going out part - but she doesn't want to know, so I don't tell). She knows I've gone out in public as Ilene, however.
In sum, I'm fairly happy with my slowing expanding DADT situation. All things considered, it's a good deal with a good Wife. We're trying.
I hope all of you are trying too. Good luck.
Good luck with you too Meghan. Love your look and love your stuff. Meghan is adorable. Thanks.
So for right now, I am not "pushing" my DADT situation.
273162

Me, around the house in DADT w the S.O. present. Not all bad.

[SamanthaR]

I am with blues man. I too have my bday coming up and would love for her to have picked out an outfit and we stayed in with some wine and had a girls day- trying different makeup and hair styles.

[LeannS]

I also go with my wife shopping for clothes. And it would be nice to have her say I think this would look good on you. or I wonder what she would think of I put something that I like into the cart?? I guess I have a lot of fantasies as I am home (retired) shes at work, I babysit our grandson now a month old after his mother is gone I get dressed to be the best grandmother this little one could have, I have recently moved all my dresses into one of the spare rooms. Will she notice we will soon see. Maybe she might want to wear one of the dresses I have. Later Leann

[Jane P]

For her to kiss me and tell me that she loves me .

[Meghan4now]

Awwww! So sweet!

[Jane P]

Awwww! So sweet!

Yeah. Makes me about puke too . Unfortunately true , so ...

[Sometimes Steffi]

They say every journey begins with a single step. With that thought in mind, here's my fantasy.

Do you have a girl name?