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Mafalda
02-02-2017, 07:58 AM
Once again, I’m in a turnaround of my crossdressing life. It has been almost a year since I hadn’t a decent opportunity to crossdress, as I already knew from a planned shift of my wife working habits. You all know, if you are still in the closet, that at the very start you are confident that, after all, it will work… You don’t really feel a need to crossdress, somehow no occasion/no desire, you feel the same as when you purge everything away. It will not gonna happen again, that’s all. Sometimes you feel very very far away from the crossdressing world.
Then, all of a sudden (so to speak) you start needing to feel dressed like a woman. You need it badly. And you ask to yourself: why not? But, the problem is, you really can’t. No time, no space.
So I start thinking this could be the right moment to tell to my wife everything about it. But, on the other side, it seems very awful to speak her just to have in change some free time to crossdress.
That’s my turmoil in these times, when, a couple of days ago, a small idea started crawling in my mind. And i did it. Just today. Foggy day, cold winter in Italy, I underdress my nice black stockings (they are thick, who will notice the difference under my trousers?), I reach a walking lane on the bank of a nearby river during my lunch break, I wear a pair of my female shoes and take a walk.
And I thought everything clear before it (I know you know this is what we do…), I was sure that if I met someone (a runner, a biker, an old man walking) there wouldn’t have been any problem. I am just reading a book (or speaking at the phone), I walk straight, no problem. There is no law against it, just a man in jeans wearing a pair of low heeled black pumps. Who bothers?
I feel great, watching the river, feeling inside me the sadness of the landscape, embedded in the fog. Feeling at the same time the pink fog inside me crawling from the sweet sensation of heels tickling on the pavement, or slightly slipping on the mud. I am somehow thinking to take a picture. There’s no one around.
But, all of a sudden, I see an old man coming from the other side. And I think: in a while we both will be alone, walking, and he will address me somehow. Panic. No other word to describe what I did. I walked back to my car, just fifty metres away. Heartbeat was at high rate. Everything in my mind switched off: pleasure, reasonable thoughts and all.
I feel so stupid now… I will try again tomorrow maybe.
Thank you for listening. This place feels like a safe home to me.

Julie MA
02-02-2017, 09:15 AM
Mafalda, good for you. I am glad you ventured out and enjoyed it. Hope you can broaden your experience and satisfy the femme side of you. Julie

rachelatshop
02-02-2017, 09:30 AM
Hi
I think you should try to find a way to tell you wife, I know that it is hard, but it is worth it. You can talk to us and we can tell you all kinds of things but those are only our experiences. The only real good long term solution is to open up to her and it could be good beyond belief. Best, PM me if you need

Mafalda
02-02-2017, 09:43 AM
Thank you both. @rachelatshop I know this is the way, I will do it, i really feel we need it and deserve it.
Thank you again

Lana Mae
02-02-2017, 11:06 AM
Mafalda, glad you were able to get out and about even for just a short period of time! Best wishes going forward and more time for dressing! Hugs Lana Mae

Dana44
02-02-2017, 11:16 AM
Malbalda, Indeed try to talk with your wife. Try again tomorrow.. I don't think anybody will have a problem with four inch heels and you might find that they may be friendly. Just say that you wanted to try them and it feels great.

Mafalda
02-02-2017, 01:02 PM
I must say I really feel great in this forum... Everything seem so natural. Not easier, not simpler, but... obvious. Thank you for your support.
And... let me say... my heels this time are just an inch high :)

Tamsin Secret
02-02-2017, 01:18 PM
I read your post, it could be me!!! Doing the same things, thinking the same things. It's amazing and also comforting to know someone else, even in another country, is experiencing exactly the same things and in the same situation as I.

Thank you for posting,

Miss Secret x

DIANEF
02-02-2017, 02:07 PM
Mafalda, the first time I left the safety cocoon of my car my legs were like jelly. I thought literally everyone was watching me and knew what I was, Guess what, nothing happened, no double takes, no comments, nothing. As they say, long journeys start with the first step.

Mafalda
02-03-2017, 07:39 AM
I did it! I mean, I didn't speak out to my wife still, but took a good walk, a mile long, in heels. Relaxing and exciting at the same time. Met just one person, a runner. Two bubbles passing by, no interactions, no troubles. Now I wish there was someone else crossing my path... just for the thrill of it!
Hi
Mafalda

Julie MA
02-03-2017, 07:50 AM
Bubbles?

LaurenS
02-03-2017, 07:54 AM
Thanks for sharing.

Mafalda
02-03-2017, 01:19 PM
Bubbles?
Sorry I meant we where both like in a bubble, each on is own.... I'm not a English mothertongue... ☺

Julie MA
02-03-2017, 04:32 PM
Ah, I see. Thank you for sharing, and in English.😊