She Didn't Get It

[JeanTG]

So yesterday on the way home from seeing a client I wanted to stop and pick up a couple of pairs of pantyhose. Thought I'd stop off in a new pharmacy in the neighborhood. The front (non-drug) part of the store was staffed by a lone young woman, maybe 20 y.o. or so, heavily made up and standing at the cosmetics counter. I looked for the pantyhose section but couldn't find it so I asked. Normally I've never run into any troubles asking for help when buying ladies' things, so I said "excuse me could you please tell me where I can find the pantyhose?"

Well that did not compute coming from a man. She just looked like a deer in the headlights and I had to repeat my question twice before she said "you mean... like ladies' pantyhose?" I could see her obvious discomfort so I added "yes, ladies' pantyhose; my wife asked me to pick up a couple of pair for her on the way home". "OH! she smiled, over here...". She was young and probably hasn't encountered any of "us" before, so I thought I'd relieve her of her discomfort. She was at the cash when I went to pay and I added "I think I got her the right size, so I hope I won't get yelled at!".

She'll learn eventually!

Turns out I did get the right size, "her", of course, being "me"!

[Dana44]

Yeah that was probably the first time for her and she had no expose to that before. Worked out okay though.

[Julie MA]

Would you have told her, the SA, they were for you?

[Jodi]

Confused? Or maybe just plain stupid. Stupid is as stupid does, and you can't outlaw stupid.

Jodi

[Allisa]

That was very kind of you to let her off the hook, but if your going to be going in there more often you should fess up to "things" being for you and maybe educate her some.

[JeanTG]

Normally I just buy what I need, with no nervousness or self-consciousness. If I have some question (e.g. sizing) I will say it's for me, but this time I knew what I needed and just needed to be pointed to the pantyhose display. I like that we should be able to just buy what we need normally without issues. As the pharmacy was very close to my home in a small town I was reluctant to say it was for me and at the same time I was clearly making her uncomfortable. Had it been in a store farther from home, and had I not been in a rush, I would have gently said "many men like to wear pantyhose", and left it at that.

[Princess Chantal]

Perhaps she was making sure of the type of hosiery you were asking for. When I worked at a pharmacy as a stock clerk in my teens I was asked the exact same question from men a few times. The first time I was approached with the question I led the guy to the regular hosiery section. With one glance at where I led him, he became very angry and went to find someone else who knew what he was talking about. It turned out that He was looking for the medical stockings and hosiery. So I led all men to the medical/compression hosiery before the regular hosiery, in which nearly half would ask for the regular section afterwards.

[Kelly DeWinter]

LOL, i might have replied ,"No, the men's , with the fly in the front"

[JeanTG]

That was very kind of you to let her off the hook, but if your going to be going in there more often you should fess up to "things" being for you and maybe educate her some.

I probably won't go back. The selection is poorer than the pharmacy I normally go to. The other one is great, I've bought cosmetics there before. The first time, the SA came over and asked if I needed help. She said "it's very unusual to see men shopping in this section". I told her I was a CD and was shopping for myself and knew what I needed. She was very nice and said "Oh, no problem, if you need help or have any questions about anything at all I'm over in the next aisle, just let me know!" Needless to say I do go back there and next time I DID have a question and went to see her. Again she was very kind, helped me find what I needed, and even steered me away from a cheap and crappy wig I was looking at. She said "you know those are very poor quality, I recommend you look for a better one on the Internet".

[~Joanne~]

I think you did the right thing, she was at ends wit trying to figure it out and you defused the situation by making it into something she understood. I really feel it's not your job to educate a employee at any store as to who you are, why your buying a certain Item, or even really who it's for. It's the companies job to teach their employees about diversity, customer service, and everything else that goes with it. Most companies do so that is a fail on that company but you got what you went for and all's well ;)

[RADER]

You handled it well; Today's youth have a lot to learn.
I remember reading about Christine Jorgason back when I was in High school.
In a way, I envied her, as even then I wanted to be able to dress.
Just look at the SA next time and try to remember;
They can Vote and Reproduce.
Rader

[Leslie Langford]

Well, being in her early 20's, I'm surprised that the young SA even knew what pantyhose were to begin with, and maybe that's partly why it took so long for the penny to drop. Now, if you had asked her where the nearest tattoo parlour was or where you could get a brow piercing or a nose ring, I am sure she could have instantly pointed you in the right direction. ;)

That said, I guess one typically unrecognized (and under-appreciated) aspect of so-called "male privilege" is that we can act dumb and unknowing about typically female matters and no one will think anything of it. Act like the stereotypical clueless Neanderthal, and before you know it, some kind, nurturing GG will take us under her wing and help set us straight.

To piggy-back on your pantyhose story, many years ago I was in a similar situation in a pharmacy/retail store (I'm guessing a Shopper's Drug Mart in your case from your description; for me, it was a Pharmaprix outlet at the time...the Quebec equivalent). As I was browsing the vast array of different pantyhose/tights/knee-highs/stockings/stay-ups style and colour selections sitting in the display there (that was then...mid-'80's...those sections have shrunk considerably since that time :sad:), a kind-hearted and wanting-to-help GG fellow traveller browsing the same section nearby for presumably the same purpose took pity me. In her mind's eye, she clearly must have pictured what appeared to be this pathetic clueless male doofus trying to navigate this (to him) terra incognito :doh:, and with a hint of pity and empathy in her voice asked me what I was looking for while offering her help in doing so.

Needless to say, I knew exactly what I wanted (I probably knew more about female hosiery even back then than she did - LOL!), but I played along, using the old "my wife asked me to pick up this XYZ brand of control top pantyhose in beige and size Large, but I haven't found it yet" line. That said, the more I thought about it afterwards, maybe it was actually less a matter of helping me, but rather a case of not seeing a poor "sister" (my wife) end up with the wrong kind of pantyhose just because her stupid husband couldn't follow directions ;)). But I digress...

I any event, we eventually found the exact size/style/colour of pantyhose that I was looking for, the whole interaction was a very pleasant, positive, and uplifting experience for me (never in a million years would my own wife ever offer such assistance), and this lovey GG had done her good deed for the day. Win-win all the way around...:daydreaming: :heehee:

[Ressie]

she said "you mean... like ladies' pantyhose?"

No, I'm actually looking for men's pantyhose! Remember Joe Namath?

[Trans_Cate]

Ha ha, yes! I often think that when shopping if I see a 'Ladies Skirts' sign!

[StephanieM]

I think you handled it well. Sounds to me like you shocked her, and she probably didn't know how to handle the situation. If she's about 20 she probably is pretty clueless about a great many things.

[Lana Mae]

You did the right thing! IMHO Hugs Lana Mae

[LaurenS]

That was very kind of you to let her off the hook, but if your going to be going in there more often you should fess up to "things" being for you and maybe educate her some.

Generally speaking, that's a good idea, but this encounter sounds like it would have been a monumental discussion. Hard to believe that in this day and age, and especially a 20 year old, would be so stunned just at the thought of buying another sexes clothes. Good thing you didn't ask her to match your skin tone for a foundation!

the young lady probably got enough education from her imagination in this instance. Kinda funny to me.

��

[Meghan4now]

Wasn't it Kenny Rogers that said "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"

Exactly the right thing to do in the situation. Not the time and place for an educational moment.

[JeanTG]

I'm guessing a Shopper's Drug Mart in your case from your description; for me, it was a Pharmaprix outlet at the time...the Quebec equivalent

Well, to give you a clue, the whole conversation with the young lady actually took place in French ;)

[Leslie Langford]

Tabernac! Pharmacie Jean Coutu, then? ;)

[Tracii G]

Oh why not go back its in the neighborhood.

[Stephanie47]

I wonder how she would have reacted with me when I went to the store for my ailing wife's sanitary napkins?