Can I Do That???

[deebra]

I recently went to a show/event with about 500 people mulling about. I was checking out the women; what they wore such as shoes, boots, embellished girl jeans, tops, jewelry to see if I could pass wearing some of the same things. The casual way they dressed I could wear the same and pass. It was an experiment; maybe learned something for the next time I go to the same or similar event.

Do you ever do this, go somewhere and the whole time say to yourself if I had worn fem. would I be blending/passing?

[Jaylyn]

I always check what the GGs are wearing. I've wondered at times if I could wear that outfit. Since I'm a closet or house dresser I'm my own judge of what I look good in. I mostly love seeing what makeup the girls are wearing and not so much the clothes.

[ReineD]

I'm a bit confused. What do you mean by 'pass'?

I was always under the impression that 'passing' in this forum, usually meant going out while presenting as a woman and being perceived as such, at least from a few feet away or from out of the corner of a bystander's eye. In other words, not standing out as a guy who wants to give the impression that s/he is a woman and causing people to stare. Have things changed?

But in your case, I take it that you mean the ability to wear women's clothing without the people around you noticing outright that you are wearing women's clothing? For example, if you could get away with wearing a Nike women's hoodie (http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/pd/sportswear-tech-fleece-womens-full-zip-hoodie/pid-11264423/pgid-11270353) instead of a Nike men's hoodie (http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/pd/sportswear-tech-fleece-windrunner-mens-hoodie/pid-11211004/pgid-11455440), without having people stare and think, "OMG he's wearing women's clothes"?

So to recap, is it:

1. Presenting as a woman and not having people point and stare, or

2. Wearing women's clothes as a guy without having people point and stare.

[Lana Mae]

Pass is a billion to one shot! Too many things to give you away! Blend as into the background is much easier! Even then things can be noted by others. Most people are to polite to say anything but...there is always one out there somewhere to mess it up! So, do the best you can and act like you own it and you will do fine!! IMHO Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

I was confused as well and I would like to know what you meant by passing.
Being a guy and wearing girls jeans and top is not a big deal I do it everyday and people either don't notice or they don't care.
My guess is they don't care.
Yesterday I had one lady standing behind me with her husband and she tapped me on the shoulder and said nice jeans.
All I said was thanks so much I love them.
The hoodie I had on was from American Eagle juniors dept in a light pale reddish color almost a dark pink.
She never mentioned the hoodie but my guess is she actually liked the jeans and wasn't being mean or snarky.

So can you do that?
Sure you can.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deebra:hugs:, I think that there is a fuzzy line between Blending and Passing, Just stay clear of teenage girls...:daydreaming:...

[Rachael Leigh]

I find myself studying what women are wearing all the time, it helps me make good decisions on what I wear when I go out
Women have such a large spectrum of clothes it kinda makes it easy.
So how I present it's even more important I get the makeup to look right so I can blend successfully

[Teresa]

Deebra,
I tend to think about the event I'm going to and dress accordingly, I may pass or I may not but as long as you have gone OTT you should blend in. Most women do that as well I feel many are afraid to go OTT and dress down , so maybe that's why so many women wear trousers or smart jeans now , they are playing safe.

As Reine points out the term passing means to blend in, a few GGs have told I look convincing , I'm happy with that so you take your pick which term you chose to use . I think if you feel comfortable and wear the clothes with confidence, and smile most people will accept you .

[GretchenM]

Deebra,

Back when I was going to a support group we discussed this subject at length. In the end we pretty much agreed that achieving the "passing" goal requires quite a bit more than just clothes. You have to be able to not only act the part but be the part. But we did decide that body shape and those little biological things that distinguish male and female are not really all that important. Genetics creates lots of variety. There are plenty of women out there that really don't look like women until you look more closely. I saw a woman at Target the other day that looked like a Bronco linebacker in women's clothes. Does she pass the test? No way! Is she a woman otherwise? Can't say. I don't know her. But I bet she is acceptably feminine otherwise - it is just the way girls are taught as youngsters and how they look doesn't matter that much. So the final conclusion we came to was that the reasonable and achievable goal is not being passable, but being "presentable." We decided there is a reason why dressing is called your "presentation," but we did agree that in addition to looking the part you must also behave the part and I think that is where some of us fail. That said, most of us have lived the masculine way of life most of our lives and suddenly shifting that to a fully feminine way of life is not an easy task. You are likely to always have a masculine behavior underlying the feminine - I have met and known too many transexuals to think that is not the case. Very few totally eliminate the masculine. Passing is not possible for most of us, but we can be presentable as women and that is fully achievable, although not necessarily easy. Your behavior, mannerisms, way of conversing, and all of that should complement the attire.

Gretchen

[BettyMorgan]

But in your case, I take it that you mean the ability to wear women's clothing without the people around you noticing outright that you are wearing women's clothing? For example, if you could get away with wearing a Nike women's hoodie (http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/pd/sportswear-tech-fleece-womens-full-zip-hoodie/pid-11264423/pgid-11270353) instead of a Nike men's hoodie (http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/pd/sportswear-tech-fleece-windrunner-mens-hoodie/pid-11211004/pgid-11455440), without having people stare and think, "OMG he's wearing women's clothes"?



I think we could get away with wearing women's casual clothes. However, with women's tops, I think it's the cut that makes the difference. In the Nike hoodie example, take a look at the profile (side) view. The woman's hoodie has some lines that the men's doesn't have. This hoodie wouldn't make anyone blink unless they were very familiar with the specific item.
I wear dress shirts on a regular basis to work and often wonder if I could get away with wearing female shirts. But most times it's the cut, the extra fabric designed to accommodate breasts, that would give me away. Lightly embellished jeans are okay but what would give me away is if I carried my cell in my front pocket - people would notice it half hanging out and know right away.

[CarlaWestin]

I think passing is just a rough edged term for blending. Where I live, I could probably spend the day out wearing the sexy maid dress in my profile and less than 20% of people would even bother to notice. And I do have "designated female" jeans, tops and shoes that are just so neutral in appearance, I barely consider it crossdressing.

[deebra]

I believe I just got an English lesson on two words, Passing and Blending. I meant Blending, now you know that I know.

[Nikki A.]

It's not just the clothes but the whole look. Wig make-up etc and your facial features.
I think I'm getting decent in doing my make up and wear clothes that are appropriate to where I'm going (although I usually wear a dress or skirt). I think I blend but don't think I really pass. However I have met other girls that do look much more passable than me.
Biggest thing is attitude, be comfortable with yourself, smile, interact and just be you. At least for me this is what makes going out enjoyable.

[Dana44]

Actually dress for the event the way you see it. But many women do wear skirts and look very nice. So when I go to a movie, I dress in a nice skirt and top. with sandals as it is warm here. I also dress well for dinner out. But many just go casual ad you will find that some are dressed nice. At events people are dressed casual but every women that is in a dress or skirt are looked at far more then the others and I see a few good looking women dressed well for any event.

[Jennifer in CO]

Actually Deebra, I think you meet "stealth" mode. Wearing fem clothing while still presenting as a male...right? Pretty much as Tracii said. I do it every day. Fem slacks, jeans, tops/blouses, etc. Stay with darker colors for the most part and you blend in. Now-a-days, lots of guys jeans have "bling" pockets so some "bling" is ok. Key is the cut as Betty said. Ladies polos have a shorter sleeve than guys. So pick a ladies polo style/cut that fits your body type. Croft & Barrow as well as Apt 9 at Kohl's polos usually run a bit longer in the sleeve. Same for they're blouses. Better yet, I like a 3/4 or elbow - length sleeve blouse. Usually hits me right below where a guys short sleeve does. Lots of lace?...yeah...that'l get noticed....

- - - Updated - - -

gotta add...

this thread got me to looking and I found this really cute top on the Kohl's site:

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-2692967/juniors-iz-byer-california-ruffle-cold-shoulder-top.jsp?color=Black

Now at first glance, this is waaaayyy to fem to pass in "stealth". BUT...look at the collar. Very plain. So wear a wind breaker, zip up hoodie or similar light jacket over it and "ta-da"! Instant "looks-like-a-guys-T shirt" under a jacket.

[docrobbysherry]

I like passing. Because then I can present my best sexy, stylish woman looks. :battingeyelashes:

However, I only pass in my mirror and photos. I'm a man in a dress when out. Even if I hide under loose, old lady gear. And, where's the fun in that?:sad: